anyone else clean and sober who also has lots of ...

lizziecheek

My anniversary dates for both AA and NA is January 21, 1989. I have worked hard to stay clean and sober.

This post is for others that are in AA or NA.

I have over 150 pounds to lose and am struggling. I gained much of it over 7 years ago when the only man I truly loved died of a heroin overdose. I had broken up with him months before his death due to addictive behavior, a dry drunk. I don't know when he finally picked back up but a few weeks before his death I decided to see if he was dealing with his unacceptable behavior. When I broke up with him he said he would do anything to get me back and stated he was in therapy and going to meetings.

We dated a few weeks and I ended it again because he clearly had not been working on himself. He died a few days after that. I still loved him with all my heart and had not had the opportunity to deal with my loss of the relationship by working the steps, therapy, friends etc. before he died. A year later I found myself in a downward spiral that included severe clinical depression. I never picked up drugs or alcohol but found myself struggling at meetings and the 12 steps. I was in exquisite pain and I did what I used to before sobriety. I isolated myself which was not too difficult because I work from home, and I binged. I binged until I gained over 100 pounds in a few months. It took until last year for my depression to be successfully treated. Now I am ready to deal with my addiction to food.

I was hoping there would be others with a similar recovery path. Those that have also decided to face their use of food.

irivas1

The tragic loss of a love one is traumatic. Circumstances in one's connection with that person can lead to a complicated grief. So, in this we share a common bond. We also share the use of food as an agent to calm our pain. Bingeing for me, numbs the senses and provides for me an escape to avoid interacting with the world around me. So, perhaps we share this in common too. Food, unlike other substances, is an agent which we need to maintain life and it is not something that we can readily avoid. So, yes, it is a difficult journey, which seems always to be accompanied by emotive responses to the world and situations which surround us.

In my opinion, you have been very successful in your sobriety. I commend you on your success in your accomplishments on this part of your life journey. It is also commendable that you sought assistance for your depression, an act of self love and care. I am confident that this new pathway on your journey will be a successful one. Your ticker shows that you have lost five pounds to date and that is a great start! You may find people on this site who share similarities and/or differences with your experiences but one thing we all have in common is a want to become healthy.

So, lizziecheek, take it one day at a time. If you fall off, climb back on and keep the goal in front of you. I do recommend that you continue in your self care with professional support. Your ability to seek support is indicative of future success. Keep up the good work!