Frustrated!

Susay2942

Im not new. Ive been here several years. My husnamd finally decided to loose some weight. I thought this would be great ... and it has been nice to have him on board with meals. But he is loosing weight twice as fast as i have! I know its normal for men to loose faster than women because of thier higher metabolism. But OMG! Ibe been at this for years and he is just dropping pounds!

tinkerbellang83

Susay2942 wrote: »

Im not new. Ive been here several years. My husnamd finally decided to loose some weight. I thought this would be great ... and it has been nice to have him on board with meals. But he is loosing weight twice as fast as i have! I know its normal for men to loose faster than women because of thier higher metabolism. But OMG! Ibe been at this for years and he is just dropping pounds!

He's just at the start so he'll be losing a lot of water weight, he also doesn't have the joy of a menstrual cycle masking losses a couple of times a month.

Comparison is the the thief of joy!

jennacole12

I feel your pain! It is so frustrating, I found it helped to have some women friends to buddy with so the comparison didn’t make me feel bad about my own losses.

Jordanna_Beast

I felt this in my soul. Years ago we both did P90X and he was stacked within a month while I had barely lost a few pounds. Now he is eyeing a return to fitness and I'm almost dreading it because I know he's going to outshine me despite the fact I've lost almost 70lbs. I feel so selfish, but I don't want his potential progress to derail mine.

jennacole12

So maybe this will help you both, I used to go family weight loss challenges, this was how I actually stuck with my weight loss bc for me being accountable was the key. Anyway it was always like 8-10 women.... one challenge some husbands joined in and I kept the men and women results separate. Every single man did better than all the women. The women were working their *kitten* off and the men went hard for a like a week at the end. Even the guys were shocked that it really is true that women have to work a bit harder for weight loss. I think it’s bc women diet consistently for years upon years, our bodies have adapted to extreme lows calorie wise so they aren’t shocked. Men don’t typically restrict like women do so when they do something drastic it’s a shock to their metabolism which hasn’t yet adapted and stabilized. Idk if that helps but that’s how I look at it.

springlering62

Years ago there was a cartoon commercial for a diet supplement. The cartoon guy shrunk really fast, the cartoon woman didn’t, and she was really frustrated. I think she ended by throwing things at him.

I don’t remember what the point of the ad was, but it was pretty funny.

steveko89

Some of that could also be in how you're measuring and comparing between men and women. If there's any size discrepancy a 5 lb loss for a woman is a higher percentage of her overall weight than 5 lbs for a man.

In round numbers, a 200 lb man weighs 33% more than a 150 lb woman to start with. If they each lose 5 lbs that man has lost 2.5% of his weight while the woman lost 3.3%. Following the general guidance of no more than 1% /week loss rate, that same loss of 5 lbs would take the woman an extra 5.6 days, aka 32% longer. That rate discrepancy only widens the bigger the loss numbers become. Looking strictly at the pounds lost and the requisite time interval fails to account for the difference in proportions between two individuals of opposite sex. If you must compare, think in terms of % body weight lost; otherwise, enjoy the process with your partner and don't let comparisons rob you of enjoying your own progress.

To @jennacole12 's point about adapted metabolism and "shocking" one's system, metabolic adaptation in chronic dieters is a thing for both sexes but IMO the magnitude of that caloric difference get's exaggerated. As an n=1, I'm 31 and have struggled with weight to some degree since adolescence. At 31 I finally executed an intentional lean bulk this fall after years of trying to get leaner and being in some degree of a caloric deficit. I have very good data starting in July 2017 and historically, my observed TDEE sits just about 2500 cal/day with very little seasonal or circumstantial variations. However, that ~2500 number was really only under periods of fat loss or at least intended fat loss. Over the course of the lean bulk my observed TDEE increased to nearly 2600 cal/day. So extended periods of dieting had resulted in a slight depression of my TDEE but only to the extent of maybe 100 calories/day, or right about 4%.

To that end, I've recently started listening to the RP Strength podcast and some of the analysis they've done on the users of their RP Diet app (basically a super premium version of MFP) they've found the most successful dieters keep their diets to 6-9 weeks in duration with moderately aggressive goals of ~0.6% loss rate (NOTE: they're defining success in terms of reaching the set weight loss goal and >80% overall adherence). After any diet phase they suggest a maintenance period of half the duration of the diet phase. In practice, it might be most beneficial to take an approach of 12 week cycles where one is dieting for ~8 weeks, switching to maintenance for the following ~4 weeks, and then to repeat as needed to reach a healthy weight and/or overall weight loss goal.

jennacole12

steveko89 wrote: »

Some of that could also be in how you're measuring and comparing between men and women. If there's any size discrepancy a 5 lb loss for a woman is a higher percentage of her overall weight than 5 lbs for a man.

In round numbers, a 200 lb man weighs 33% more than a 150 lb woman to start with. If they each lose 5 lbs that man has lost 2.5% of his weight while the woman lost 3.3%. Following the general guidance of no more than 1% /week loss rate, that same loss of 5 lbs would take the woman an extra 5.6 days, aka 32% longer. That rate discrepancy only widens the bigger the loss numbers become. Looking strictly at the pounds lost and the requisite time interval fails to account for the difference in proportions between two individuals of opposite sex. If you must compare, think in terms of % body weight lost; otherwise, enjoy the process with your partner and don't let comparisons rob you of enjoying your own progress.

To @jennacole12 's point about adapted metabolism and "shocking" one's system, metabolic adaptation in chronic dieters is a thing for both sexes but IMO the magnitude of that caloric difference get's exaggerated. As an n=1, I'm 31 and have struggled with weight to some degree since adolescence. At 31 I finally executed an intentional lean bulk this fall after years of trying to get leaner and being in some degree of a caloric deficit. I have very good data starting in July 2017 and historically, my observed TDEE sits just about 2500 cal/day with very little seasonal or circumstantial variations. However, that ~2500 number was really only under periods of fat loss or at least intended fat loss. Over the course of the lean bulk my observed TDEE increased to nearly 2600 cal/day. So extended periods of dieting had resulted in a slight depression of my TDEE but only to the extent of maybe 100 calories/day, or right about 4%.

To that end, I've recently started listening to the RP Strength podcast and some of the analysis they've done on the users of their RP Diet app (basically a super premium version of MFP) they've found the most successful dieters keep their diets to 6-9 weeks in duration with moderately aggressive goals of ~0.6% loss rate (NOTE: they're defining success in terms of reaching the set weight loss goal and >80% overall adherence). After any diet phase they suggest a maintenance period of half the duration of the diet phase. In practice, it might be most beneficial to take an approach of 12 week cycles where one is dieting for ~8 weeks, switching to maintenance for the following ~4 weeks, and then to repeat as needed to reach a healthy weight and/or overall weight loss goal.

I appreciate the breakdown and agree diet breaks are crucial. I was at a point of cutting for 2 straight years and stopped seeing a loss even as low as 1000 calories a day. My coach brought me up to 1800 and then had me maintain for 6 months before even considering another cut. I couldn’t believe I was losing the same % at 1800 cals a day as I was at 1000. And I def agree the metabolic adaptation is definitely applicable to either sex, just the men I’m surrounded by have never counted or watched a calorie in their whole life 😂 so it was definitely a shock to their bodies 😂

goal06082021

springlering62 wrote: »

Years ago there was a cartoon commercial for a diet supplement. The cartoon guy shrunk really fast, the cartoon woman didn’t, and she was really frustrated. I think she ended by throwing things at him.

I don’t remember what the point of the ad was, but it was pretty funny.

I remember that ad, I'm pretty sure it was for one of those weight-loss supplements that stops you from absorbing/digesting oil or something. Funny thing about those, reason you don't see them advertised anymore...if you don't digest something on its way through your body it'll just come out the other end unchanged...

rosebarnalice

I feel ya. The hubs came back from a check up and said the doctor wanted him to lose 20 lbs. He dropped it in 5 weeks by cutting down on his bread and beer and no exercise. In that same 5 weeks, I lost 6 lbs logging and swimming 4x a week. Grrr!

SYS15

Don't compare (: everyone's bodies are different. My roommate and I were on the same diet, she lost 15 and I lost 30. She's 5'3" and I'm 5'11"-6'. Obviously - weight differences and amount of weight loss. Jealousy, I found, is the easiest way to fall off the bandwagon. Understand that their bodies are different and yes they lose more, - think of it in a more positive way like "wow! I'm gonna get a hotter hubby soon! GO ME"

Susay2942

Ive decided not to let this be an obstacle. It is my challenge to change things up. I will double my walking distance. See if it bumps me up enough to start loosing again. I just dont want him to stop dieting because it has been really good for him. Trying not to become his obstacle!

abhaykalsi123

Yes I am frustrated

ninerbuff

Susay2942 wrote: »

Im not new. Ive been here several years. My husnamd finally decided to loose some weight. I thought this would be great ... and it has been nice to have him on board with meals. But he is loosing weight twice as fast as i have! I know its normal for men to loose faster than women because of thier higher metabolism. But OMG! Ibe been at this for years and he is just dropping pounds!

So what are your current stats and deficit at along with what you're doing for exercise?

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition