Discouraged by doctor comments
robinhager3998
Posts: 44 Member
My doctor told me that I would never be able to lose weight on my own and keep it off. He said I needed weight loss surgery to succeed. He even tried to get me to take diet pills! How do you deal with a doctor that gives you zero encouragement? Is he right? Am I just fooling myself that I can do this?
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Replies
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robinhager3998 wrote: »My doctor told me that I would never be able to lose weight on my own and keep it off. He said I needed weight loss surgery to succeed. He even tried to get me to take diet pills! How do you deal with a doctor that gives you zero encouragement? Is he right? Am I just fooling myself that I can do this?
Personally, I'd find a new doctor.23 -
In my opinion if someone comes up with a realistic plan of action and sticks to it, they can achieve a goal they set themselves.
I would not find that response at all helpful and would be looking into finding a new Dr.8 -
robinhager3998 wrote: »My doctor told me that I would never be able to lose weight on my own and keep it off. He said I needed weight loss surgery to succeed. He even tried to get me to take diet pills! How do you deal with a doctor that gives you zero encouragement? Is he right? Am I just fooling myself that I can do this?
You absolutely CAN lose weight on your own! What a jerk.
All you need to lose weight is a calorie deficit. Did you do the guided set-up on this site and get a calorie target? If not, do that. Then start logging your food (be honest!). Stay within your calorie target most days and you'll lose! Simple (but not always easy)! :flowerforyou:4 -
You find a new doctor, is what you do. I'm sorry you were treated so badly.3
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He’s kind of a jerk imho. What a thing to say. Surgery over a healthy and balanced weight loss on your own? Crazy guy! xxoo3
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Just wondering..have you been attempting on your own with no success? Or is this his reaction to you trying for the first time? Either way I would find another doctor though5
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Well, I can only tell you that after years on MFP following the success stories--he is dead wrong. You have to do the work, but you can do it. Get started and see. Luck. Also agree, go to a different doctor, you need one that will support you, unless you are the type that want to show him a thing or two.5
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Find a new doctor. You can lose weight without surgery.3
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Doctors have opinions. Some are not based on scientific method. Especially when it comes to giving advice on weight loss for a patient since they really only spend a total of 20 hours on nutrition on a 4-8 year degree in most cases.
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You can definitely lose weight without surgery...but I'll play a bit of devil's advocate. Doctors see thousands of patients who need to lose weight...get their diabetes under control...need to diet and exercise to get their cholesterol down or blood pressure, etc. Very few people actually accomplish these things without some kind of medical intervention.
Back when I first started all this stuff, my doctor was quite adamant about putting me on meds for my cholesterol. I told him that I really wanted the opportunity to work on this with diet and exercise and losing weight and he gave me this long spiel about blah, blah, blah...and finally told me he'd give me three months to make significant improvement. Went back 3 months later and had lost a good amount of weight and my cholesterol, while still not great, had come down significantly. He was pleasantly surprised...it just doesn't happen all that often is my impression.4 -
Some Doctors have a god complex. I’d say the best thing to do is nod like you’re REALLY impressed with his cleverness, ignore him, and go out and drop a shedload (and enjoy proving him wrong as an added bonus).
Everyone can lose weight. Some people have more barriers to overcome than others, but ultimately, so long as you control what goes into your own body, the power is in your hands. You can do this.4 -
By all means find a new doctor if you can. He was very unprofessional in not giving you guidance on how to do it more naturally. Prove him wrong, you can do it. I had a friend who was told the same thing. After she lost the 40 pounds needed before surgery she knew she could do it on her own and she did ultimately she lost 140 pounds.0
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By all means find a new doctor if you can. He was very unprofessional in not giving you guidance on how to do it more naturally. Prove him wrong, you can do it. I had a friend who was told the same thing. After she lost the 40 pounds needed before surgery she knew she could do it on her own and she did ultimately she lost 140 pounds.
To be fair, most GPs have very little training in nutrition...maybe a semester at most. They are more likely than not just going to throw out whatever the diet trend du jour is. I love my Dr. absolutely for what he is...but his diet advice to me years ago was that I should probably go low carb and use more Canola oil.3 -
Don’t take it as a judgement on you. He’s not a jerk and you don’t need to find a new doctor. The doctor is speaking from his experience.
After I lost 150 lbs and kept it off for awhile, my doctor shared that in 30+ years of practice he’d only had 3 patients who lost a significant amount of weight and kept it off.
So if a doctor had had 3 patients successfully lose and maintain weight, and thousands who have failed, what will they tell the next patient?
MFP is the right place to be to be supported and shown that you can definitely do this successfully.5 -
Your doctor is wrong that you cannot do this.
Yes, he has probably seen many oeople who did not manage, as @lorrpb and @cwolfman13 pointed out, but there is a significant difference between "this is going to be hard, and many people don't stick to what is needed to succeed." and "this is impossible."
I'd probably do my thing and prove that doctor wrong. If I'd change doctors would depend on more than this one comment.0 -
Most people don’t lose on their own. I’m wondering how much better folks do with medical intervention. My own limited observation of people who have had surgery is that there is a high failure rate.
Can you lose on your own? Of course you can. Will you? Unknown.
I can say for a fact that it’s possible to lose 100+ lbs and keep it off because I’ve done it. I’ve been maintaining for 15 years. Not a typo.
But this- do you face an immediate health crisis? Weight loss can take a lot longer than we think. Drs don’t know everything.4 -
Most people don’t lose on their own. I’m wondering how much better folks do with medical intervention. My own limited observation of people who have had surgery is that there is a high failure rate.
Can you lose on your own? Of course you can. Will you? Unknown.
I can say for a fact that it’s possible to lose 100+ lbs and keep it off because I’ve done it. I’ve been maintaining for 15 years. Not a typo.
But this- do you face an immediate health crisis? Weight loss can take a lot longer than we think. Drs don’t know everything.
I was wondering about this as well. Years ago my dad had a friend who had weight loss surgery at the behest of his Dr. It was more of a time thing and we need to take care of this now thing than anything else. Maybe things have changed...I always kind of thought that's what it was reserved for...IDK, I was 13 or 14 at the time I think...somewhere in the early teens.1 -
So many factors can underpin weight gain in the extremes. I strongly suggest you look for a doctor who takes a functional approach, and ensures your endocrine system is as health as it should be. They also take into account food intolerances, these can be a minefield to one's health, in my view you really need to know if the excess weight you carry is down to simply over eating for years or has something more sinister underpinning it.
Working with a BANT Registered Nutritionist (UK only) I lost 7 stone and have kept it off. Ideally I could still loose a little more but I have the best life I could possibly have right now, to the extent we are child minding, a 1 and 3 year old, both boys, we are 71, (Keeping a healthcare worker at work)
BTW, weight loss surgery is not all its cracked up to be, many who have endured the procedure eventually find they can build up their ability to over eat again.
All the very best, do what is right for you and you alone.1 -
Don’t take it as a judgement on you. He’s not a jerk and you don’t need to find a new doctor. The doctor is speaking from his experience.
After I lost 150 lbs and kept it off for awhile, my doctor shared that in 30+ years of practice he’d only had 3 patients who lost a significant amount of weight and kept it off.
So if a doctor had had 3 patients successfully lose and maintain weight, and thousands who have failed, what will they tell the next patient?
MFP is the right place to be to be supported and shown that you can definitely do this successfully.
Yours is the most educated response to date from what the doctor said
Nowadays we are so emotional and hate when someone tell us that we cannot do X or Y because others have failed. Instead of taking the negative and turning it into a positive like you did with your doctor.
To the OP the doctor is setting you a challenge, prove him wrong.
Just imagine you walking into his office with a big smile on your face, 30 lbs lost to start off - that would show him that his blanket approach was wrong.
I bet his advice would be totally different, the next patient he speak to about weight loss.2 -
Statistically speaking, the success rate for weightloss and long term maintenance is extremely low... but this is purely statistical NOT individual. Individual results depend on the individual person. You might want to have a longer discussion with the doctor to figure out if he’s speaking in statistical terms or about you as an individual case, for example if you need to lose the weight asap for medical reasons in some cases the surgery can be necessary. But if he’s just relying on the statistical reality that most people cannot lose and maintain long term then he can be proven wrong on an individual scale if you are willing to put in the work, make the necessary lifestyle changes and have the patience and determination to stick to it. Talk to your doctor, bariatric surgery is not a decision to make lightly and will have lifelong physical consequences that are irreversible and as I understand has quite a high failure rate in and of itself as most people that have had the surgery do end up regaining the weight within a few years anyway. I used to be obese and lost the weight through eating less and moving more and have maintained for 7+ years now, whenever I’ve had to disclose that info to a doctor they seem genuinely surprised and congratulatory and usually say something to the effect of “not many people can do that” so that just illustrates to me how rarely they see weightloss and long term maintenance in their practices. Best of luck to you on your journey!
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Jerk doctors that talk to patients like they're stupid and broken fall into the BAD doctor category. There are many low level medical schools.. many doctors are average and below average. Beside manner matters...and it isn't kind or good medicine to tell an overweight person in an examination room .. you are a lost cause as a way to "challenge" them.
check your insurance and find a new doctor.. thank goodness for reviews these days.. check those out.
You deserve a physician who encourages natural good health and speaks to you with respect and foremost is kind. Not a doctor who promotes surgery and drugs It makes you wonder if he is in a referral arrangement with a gastric bypass surgeon. Also.. if he/she wasn't being so cruel they'd have to tell you that part of gastric bypass surgery is you have to lose a good amount of weight on your own first. Also.. many who do that surgery gain it back too! Jerk.
And yes.. you can lose weight my friend.. you could do it. ....many people on here have lost a lot and changed their lives.
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Find a new doctor. I have been overweight most of my life, but have lost over 100 pounds twice. Doctors and people in general treat you differently when you are overweight. At my heavier weight my physician never took my health seriously, that typically would spend less than 5 minutes talking to me and would make all of my health concerns related to being overweight. When I lost weight, my physicians showed more concern, they always wanted to run test or dig deeper to find the source of even the smallest problem. It’s sad that people are treated differently because of the way they look but it does happen.
You have to put yourself first and know that you deserve better treatment from a physician.1 -
Find a new doctor.
I have had 2 regular doctors since 2015 (when I began my journey) both were never anything BUT encouraging and huge cheerleaders! One was a female ( I LOVED her) and the current one a male (who I also like quite well). They see weight going down (I lost 130 pounds), labs perfect, healthy attitude and expectations for weight loss. Ive gained some back over the past year or two and he is nothing but encouraging and seeing it go BACK down.
There are good doctors, and bad. One of the doctors at my current practice tried to tell me 'women have a happy weight that their bodies want to stay at. you cant do much about that. I can give a pill if you'd like'. *kitten*. my doctor rolled his eyes when I told him she said that. I now only see her for gyno exams and my regular doc for everything else.
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I was considered a challenge show up you have lost 10 lb. as for the diet pills myself personally I have nothing against them as long as the side effects do not hose any difficulties. They can keep me awake which is not good for me.1
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Also just want to add Noom works very well1
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Sounds like to be the jerk wants you to help pay for his Lexus and his condo in Bermuda. Sorta like the dermatology surgeon I went to have a skin cancer removed who told me he could botox my "ugly" wrinkles. Jerkbag.1
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