I JUST have to rant

tjthegreatone

Arrggghhhh!!!

Siblings (and mothers).

Never thought I'd be ranting about 'personal' problems on this forum, but hear me out.

My sister is getting married in just over a month.

About three months ago without checking with me or getting my consent she decided that she had found the 'perfect' bridesmaids dresses for my younger sister and me. She ordered the dresses in my younger sister's size without checking with me or asking if I was okay with the size.

I was pretty busy at work at the time and when she invited me for the fitting I could not go. Nevertheless I was surprised when her next text was 'I've ordered the dresses, you owe me £125'. Now I've never spent that much on a dress and when I saw the photos I was dubious (not my style) - but hey ho, it's my sister's wedding, it's my duty to wear what she wants.

I haven't been able to try on the dress for a number of months but I finally got to try on the dress yesterday. I can't zip it up past my mid torso. To add insult to injury I look at the tag and it says 2XS!!! On what planet do you expect a 5'9 woman to fit into an XS dress unless she's a supermodel? (I'm sure there's some vanity sizing going on anyway).

Now I am seething and irate. I REFUSE to diet to fit into a dress for someone else's wedding.

Argh.

snazzyjazzy21

I'm trying to think of something to say without being rude. It's hard. I, too, would be fuming. I'm not really sure what you could do , perhaps take it to a tailor and see what sort of ideas they'd have?

TheRealParisLove

I'm sure the dress must have come from a reputable bridal salon, considering the price. Just ask them to exchange the dress for one that fits. If they can't do it, just tell your sister that the dress doesn't fit and she will either have to find another dress for you or allow you to select your own wedding attire.

Taking the chance of trying to diet into a too small article of clothing is crazy! You'll end up wearing whatever you happen to have in your closet.

Oh, and the modern brides maids dress is an utter and complete waste of money. Thanks to social media, even if you could reasonably wear it again, everyone will know you are recycling a brides maid dress. :noway:

janupshaw

I'd say to my sister, "You ordered the wrong size by accident" or "the company must've messed up the size, surely you didn't really order an XS for me?!" Make her fix it, and if that means she has to eat $125 then that's a valuable lesson learned. She can't let you go naked, and surely she wouldn't expect you to pay double for her mistake. I would think the store would exchange it. Out of curiosity, did she get your younger sisters size right?

tjthegreatone

Well this is what makes me annoyed.

If she'd ordered a larger size it could be re-fitted. I'm not sure how they can possibly adjust it without any extra material. Part of the problem is that the cut of the dress does not flatter my figure - the bust area is too large and the chest is too narrow.

More importantly it's MY cash wasted on a dress that I don't even like and I'm not even allowed to speak to her because I'll upset her (yeah I will, I'm still fuming...) My younger sister will take it back to the saloon to see if they'll exchange it (it is a bridal boutique).

It doesn't help that she and her fiance are obsessed with having the perfect wedding and having every detail fit. If I say I'll wear what I want (I've got other nice dresses after all) all I'll get is a load of crying and emotional blackmail and aint nobody got time for that.

AmyZ46

Wow , just Wow .


Amy

jynxxxed

Wow.. I would never pay for a dress that wasn't something I specifically wanted. If it's for THEIR wedding and they require it, they should pay for it in my opinion..
And about the size, wow. Hopefully they'll exchange that for you.. if not get your money back! She'll just have to suck it up. Her mistake.

tjthegreatone

I'd say to my sister, "You ordered the wrong size by accident" or "the company must've messed up the size, surely you didn't really order an XS for me?!" Make her fix it, and if that means she has to eat $125 then that's a valuable lesson learned. She can't let you go naked, and surely she wouldn't expect you to pay double for her mistake. I would think the store would exchange it. Out of curiosity, did she get your younger sisters size right?

At today's conversion rate that dress is closer to $175!!! In some respects my mother is right. I'm too irate to have a civilized conversation which is why I'm ranting on here :laugh:

My younger sister fits into the dress. She is very slim, an hourglass and 2 inches shorter than me.

Maybe I'm just jealous (of the li'l sis). Or maybe I think the older sis is jealous. Who knows. She's been on a semi-starvation diet for months to fit into her wedding dress and keeps making semi-envious comments about how 'skinny' I am. Which by the way I am not.

TavistockToad

It's your sisters wedding... Get the right size and wear the damn dress!

grrrlface

Consumer rights, you should be able to exchange it.

I'd just keep your head down and do what your sister wants. It'll save a lot of stress by the sounds of it.

FaerieCae

Who does that?! And why oh why is it suddenly ok to make bridesmaids fork out for dresses theyre never gunna wear again? ..sorry, but you sister is a jerk for doing that.

Once again glad I only have sister in laws.

Make her take it back and change it. Does she want the dress in the wedding, or does she want you?

fatoldladyonamission

No way you should pay for the dress whether it fits or not! None of my bridesmaids paid for their dresses! Oh and they all got the right size too! Two of them liked them so much they did wear them again too! Stick to your guns, you can't wear a dress that doesn't fit!

SusanHeinous

Shame you couldn't make it to the fitting, a lot of this could then have been avoided.
As others have said, I'm sure you could exchange the dress for a size that fits.

The style of the dress is a tricky area.
If your sister was paying for it then she could be as fussy as she liked but as she expects you to pay for it yourself then maybe she could allow a little leeway, maybe giving you a colour and letting you choose the style.

Such a fuss is made of (some) weddings, all brides aspire to the 'perfect day' and can turn into divas during the process.
She'll still be your sister afterwards so try and bite your tongue and don't have a major falling out.
It's an excellent idea to vent a bit!

Good luck with it all and I hope you all have a lovely day.

CollieFit

Wow.

I'm just amazed you're expected to PAY for the dress?????
It's her wedding, so it's their responsibility to make sure the bridesmaids have dresses and the groom's men have suits.

With hindsight it might have been wise, when you knew you couldn't make the fitting, to send her your measurements though. :ohwell:

LynnieG85

Surely she knows you're not that size?? What's so hard about asking you what size you wear? If she wants the perfect wedding I'd have thought she'd make sure she got the bridesmaid dresses right. Hopefully the shop will exchange it for the right size, you shouldn't lose huge amounts of weight just for a dress someone else wants you to wear xx

tjthegreatone

Thanks for all the advice and reassurance guys! Feeling less ranty already

She has a history of making impulsive decisions like this.

I would have given her my measurements if she had waited to ask. One day she asks me to come to a fitting - I reply that I am too busy to come that weekend, perhaps another? The next day she's gushing about the perfect dress and how she'd ordered because she didn't want to miss it. It's the combination of stupidity and lack of respect that get me.

In retrospect I agree that I should have insisted on not paying, after all it's her wedding. However, I just get endless amounts of emotional blackmail (mainly from my mother). Trying to apply logic and reason with family is impossible. I figured I'd just shut up and cough up.

Well I'll stop ranting and see if we can get it exchanged. If not I'm just going to pretend that the whole fiasco has nothing to do with me...

sunman00

there are lessons here aren't there, maybe you should have found time to go for a fitting?

but; I'm a big objector of people spending other people's money without asking first, I'd be needing to clear that one up!!

Hildy_J

My sisters (and my mother) were/are all snide, thoughtless and unkind. Haven't spoken to any of them in years! Life is SO much better, now. :-D

Go where you're celebrated, not tolerated. xx

paulaviki

This is why I let my sister and sister in law pick their own dress style. I would never make someone wear something they didn't feel comfortable in! All I did was choose the colour and pay!

Some people need to try to remember what a wedding is actually about, and it's not every tiny detail being 'perfect'!

CollieFit

there are lessons here aren't there, maybe you should have found time to go for a fitting?

I disagree. The OP made clear that her reason for not going were work pressures, rather than being out shopping or having her nails done. Should she be expected to put her job at risk because primadonna sister can't wait for 24 hours to make a decision on a dress? I don't think so. Life doesn't stop because someone is getting married, whether they think so or not.

mspoopoo

Are you sure you aren't a bit resentful towards your sister for some reason?

What were you doing to where you couldn't make the fitting?

Why did you wait so long to try the dress on?