Feeling discouraged

lkunow

I was my highest weight ever last November at 220.. I never thought I would see that number as a former anorexic. I lost around 8 lbs but am at a standstill and gained a pound back. This weight gain has affected every area of my life; my social interactions, my marriage, my mental health. I am looking into counseling now because I just can't seem to lose the 50-60 pounds I need to get to my goal weight. I lose 20 then put it back on. Since 2017 have gained about 20 ponds with menopause hitting me hard and a sedentary job.

goal06082021

What have you tried so far, what are your stats? (age, height, current weight, goal weight, sex)

ahoy_m8

Recovering from anorexia is a huge step. Kudos to you for that. I hope you give yourself credit for how far you have come. Thinking back to when you were in the midst of that recovery, what thoughts and coping mechanisms helped you the most? This isn't a rhetorical question. I'm truly interested to know. I'm also curious if there a way you can draw on your own experience, and specifically your own successes and strengths, for the encouragement you now seek?

Often we have the answers deep within us, if only we listen to our own hearts and lived wisdom. It's such a habit and cultural, I think, to search for answers "out there" when they actually lie within. There is an old Sufi folk tale about exactly this! https://bushspirit.org/2013/06/19/lost-key-and-sufi-jester-nasruddin/ Even 800 years ago, spiritual folklore reminded followers that sometimes the key we seek requires searching in the darkness of our own house.

This is not meant to diminish the value of a professional care team. (If you have access to that, it is worth seeking help there, too.) Rather, it is meant to encourage you (and perhaps others reading) with the power of your own experience.

elisa123gal

We all get overwhelmed. Have you thought of looking at it as losing five or 10 pounds at a time?.. then resetting your goal for five or ten again?

Lose in increments instead of the "80 pounds to go!"... It is hard when you're down to begin with to consider the entire number.

The fact is.. you have control. You can do this.. time is going to pass not matter what.. you may as well be losing your weight slowly.. and in time.. you'll have it all off. You can do it!!! you can,.

stephie_nyc

Hi! Are you still in recovery? Speaking as someone who has ED behaviors, it's really hard to lose and recover at the same time. I asked a counselor once if she thought it was possible and she basically just told me to ask myself the same question and we talked about it a bit in group.

Anyway, I digress. It's really hard and really painful, I know. For me, I need either a therapist or a nutrition coach to help me get through. Have you considered working with anyone in either regard?

lkunow

I am currently in counseling for some obsessive thoughts and to try to overcome my emotional eating. My setback stemmed from some physical issues and I know I need to get back on track. I plan to set weekly goals of 2 pounds per week, walk at least 15 min per day and work on my coping strategies.

AnnPT77

lkunow wrote: »

I am currently in counseling for some obsessive thoughts and to try to overcome my emotional eating. My setback stemmed from some physical issues and I know I need to get back on track. I plan to set weekly goals of 2 pounds per week, walk at least 15 min per day and work on my coping strategies.

Counseling is a wonderful plan, in those circumstances.

I'd encourage you to talk with your counselor about all these issues, but maybe consider setting for a pound a week to start? I know it sounds like a big number, but 60 to lose is truly not a huge number, and starting with a goal that's not white-knuckle difficult might leave you with a little more emotional (and physical) energy to work on the really important stuff. If a slower rate seems easy after a couple of months, you can always pick it up a little bit later. Honestly, 2 pounds a week at 220 is maybe viable, but if your goal is 60 pounds loss it's really *just* viable. Be kind to yourself? I mean this in the kindest possible way, want to see you really succeed, break through on multiple fronts to a happier time: Keeping it easy, manageable, is worth considering.

Wishing you the very best!

lkunow

That's true that setting too high goals usually leads to discouragement. So over the past 3-4 years I tend to lose 20 then gain it back .. lose 8-10 gain it back. What concerns me is that even at my lowest during that time, I was still 30 pounds over weight. My counselor gave me a list of " cognitive distortions" and I went through the list and it's scary that I struggle with every single one of them! I have lots of " retraining the mind " to do. So I hear what you are saying about not spending all my time and effort on the scale number.

Whatsthemotive

I second what others have said. Work with your counselor. You have come through a lot and y9u have a lot to be proud of. Be kind to yourself.
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