I maybe spitting into the wind here but here goes . . .

LainMac

Hi All,

I just gave the advice below to a MFP friend who is my very good friend in my "physical" world. After reading a bunch of newbie posts recently, I think my friend isn't the only person who needs this advice.

"Darling, darling, darling. EAT THE FREAKIN CALORIES! 1200 is the minimum set by the World Health Organization for a woman not to be in starvation mode. If you want to "burn more" calories than you are eat, move. When you eat too little, you are telling your body "it is famine, be thrifty". There are several posts on the boards telling you why to eat the calories (look for ShBoss1673 - he has got the science down.) This is suppose to be a lifetime change of eating, not a diet. Diets fail; good eating habits see you through. "

MFP is not a "diet site". So if you are looking to temporally lose 10 pounds in a crazy butt diet for a wedding or school reunion, MFP isn't for you. I’ve peeked into the diary logs of some of the folks who publically proclaim that they are eating under 1,000 calorie, not hungry, and aren’t loosing weight. One doesn’t have to be a nutritionist or dietician to see that these people ARE NOT eating enough “good stuff” to get all the nutrition they need.

MFP is a place where we all figure out how to be healthy. To be healthy, you have to think healthy, eat healthily, and act healthy. MFP gives the tools to really look at our diet (just how much sodium am I eating in a day. . .) and people to vent to and bounce ideas off of.

If you are looking to make substantive changes to improve your health and get some support doing so, then come on down to MFP. That is why I am here.

TabiHerbalifeCoach

GREAT JOB!!!

megamom

I want to be healthy and active and slowly lose weight. This site is helping me. I am no diet guru. I have a beer when I want one, in fact the only things I won't eat are fast foods. But I eat healthy and I don't eat the portions I used to. So I agree. This is a short life that goes by really fast. Life's too short to just eat carrots.

JessiJean

Well said!

❤B☩❤

I agree with what you say 100%! I keep telling myself that in order to lose I must eat. There are times that I don't eat all of my exercise calories, because it may be too late in the day and I won't eat past 7:30 PM. I also don't eat right down to my last calorie because of the fluctuation of actual calories burned and MFP calories burned. I do not have a HRM, so I always want to err on the side of caution. (And I prefer not to be judged for this way of thinking.....)

I also want to make note that ANYONE that has " the science down" should try to be more supportive, instead of mocking people and their issues. I for one will only allow my diary to be public to my REAL MFP friends. Because I know my friends are the support I need, not some "professional" who is going to be condescending regarding my daily diary or what comments I may make regarding said diary. And I know for a fact I am NOT alone with this issue! This site is for support, not for the negativity I can get in the outside world. So, people, when checking other people's diaries, please stop and think about the millions of factors that go into people's everyday lives, and how healthy living is a learned science, not an instantaneous one. Let the mistakes be made, It is how we learn. Before you criticize others' diaries....do you do one to be viewed?

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE BE KIND. EVERYONE IS FACING A BATTLE OF SOME KIND OR ANOTHER.

sharonuk10

Very well said.. Superb post I agree 100%

arewethereyet

and THAT is all I have to say about THAT!!!
you said it all

LainMac

So far, generally supportive comments. Well, this is a surprise. A pleasant one.

I think people who keep their diary totally public are very, very brave. I only open my diary to by MFP friends (who are all probably saying to themselves "gawd that girl loves eggs" and "wow, with that much fiber, she must be Ms Regular" and "what the hell is Polish soul food?")

Posting to a board advice to a board is hard. On a board, you can't hear the persons voice and you can't read their body language. You can't tell sarcasm from real concern. I like to say I can fluently speak several languages ---U.S Standard (like the TV people speak), Boston Standard, and Southern US English. (I can also order pizza, coffee and find the ladies rooms in Polish and Spanish but those are much longer stories.)

And I understand "guy English" fairly well. A lot of men don't give their advice in a gentle coached manner. It doesn't mean that they don't mean it in kindly. They do. They give their advice to you in the manner they would like to receive it.

So yes, we all can be kinder to each other. And yes, we all should endeavor to have a slightly thicker skin too and look more to the substance of the message rather than the format. And guy or not, many of us get very little time on the computer and are often dashing off a message before we've had a chance to polish it. I write and edit for a living but, you’all can’t tell this from the wicked bad typos that I make in my dashed off MFP posts.

stormieweather

As someone who has starved herself for 4 years (interspersed with binging), I can tell you that the way you feel when you undereat sucks! I used to go days sometimes, without eating or only eating miniscule bits of food. I never ate breakfast, rarely ate lunch (when I did, it was a frozen box meal, like lean cuisine), and often skipped dinner as well, substituting SoBe drinks for actual food. I was "dieting", yanno? Sadly, I didn't lose any weight. AND, I felt horrible. I was tired all of the time, often taking a nap when I got home from work. Regularly, my blood sugar would crash and I'd get nauseous, shaky, sweaty, and confused.

Not eating really harmed my body. Don't do it to yours.

RushinBruisette

Way to go, love the post. I hope it really sticks with everyone who reads it!! Wear your cape 'Sh-ero', you deserve to!! If not, at least let me borrow it :bigsmile:

brujeria48

And I understand "guy English" fairly well. A lot of men don't give their advice in a gentle coached manner. It doesn't mean that they don't mean it in kindly. They do. They give their advice to you in the manner they would like to receive it.

So yes, we all can be kinder to each other. And yes, we all should endeavor to have a slightly thicker skin too and look more to the substance of the message rather than the format. And guy or not, many of us get very little time on the computer and are often dashing off a message before we've had a chance to polish it. I write and edit for a living but, you’all can’t tell this from the wicked bad typos that I make in my dashed off MFP posts.

I agree with your original post 100%. However, the past few days I've watch newer folks get the nerve to post their struggles and current dilemmas… only to be bombarded by semi nasty and snarky replies. (Most of the replies are by are women, incidentally) I have never seen this happen when a poster admits to struggling with overeating or not having the motivation to exercise, those people get words of encouragement from others, and that is how it should be. Watch out , though, if you have the guts to admit that you can't seem to push enough calories in… and believe it or not, that is the actual case for some people. Then you are met with disbelief and condescension. I can't quite figure out where all of the hostility is coming from.

Not everyone has the correct information necessary to make the right choices with their food and lifestyle, we all started there once… and all of us know how daunting it can be to wade through the million pieces of advice in order to find the right formula. I can look at a post objectively, as I haven't been the target of any unnecessary scoffing, and I've seen it over and over again lately. It's one thing to provide the right information with the best of intentions. It's another thing entirely for folks to go on sarcastically to one another about how foolish a newbie may be, or how they "wish they had that issue". Those who wouldn't dream of making comment after comment about how some people can't seem to stop eating donuts feel that it's a free pass to criticize when the situation is reversed. I've been disappointed to witness it. While I hope that most haven't done this intentionally, I can't help but notice that no one seems to have a problem with it.

Skinnytime

I think for a bunch of hungry people, we've been rather civil to each other.
There will always be those of us who disagree with the prevailing wisdom of force feeding ourselves. Every single human body is different, every single day. I think that in this society of processed, fast food we have all just stopped listening to our bodies so our bodies have stopped telling us what they really need. When each of us gets to the point where all of the processed garbage is out of our systems, where our bodies are replete with all the nutrients we need, then maybe they'll talk to us again. Then, we can just eat when we are hungry, enjoy good, wholesome food, and stop obsessing over the amount of calories we consume or don't consume.

cardigirl

Great post to your friend. Totally agree with what you wrote about developing thicker skins. It's been a real eye-opener to me to see what people find to get upset about on these threads.

Bumping this up, to keep in my queue.

godblessourhome

I agree with your original post 100%. However, the past few days I've watch newer folks get the nerve to post their struggles and current dilemmas… only to be bombarded by semi nasty and snarky replies. (Most of the replies are by are women, incidentally) I have never seen this happen when a poster admits to struggling with overeating or not having the motivation to exercise, those people get words of encouragement from others, and that is how it should be. Watch out , though, if you have the guts to admit that you can't seem to push enough calories in… and believe it or not, that is the actual case for some people. Then you are met with disbelief and condescension. I can't quite figure out where all of the hostility is coming from.

Not everyone has the correct information necessary to make the right choices with their food and lifestyle, we all started there once… and all of us know how daunting it can be to wade through the million pieces of advice in order to find the right formula. I can look at a post objectively, as I haven't been the target of any unnecessary scoffing, and I've seen it over and over again lately. It's one thing to provide the right information with the best of intentions. It's another thing entirely for folks to go on sarcastically to one another about how foolish a newbie may be, or how they "wish they had that issue". Those who wouldn't dream of making comment after comment about how some people can't seem to stop eating donuts feel that it's a free pass to criticize when the situation is reversed. I've been disappointed to witness it. While I hope that most haven't done this intentionally, I can't help but notice that no one seems to have a problem with it.

here, here. i agree!