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Dad jokes
JFinn26
Posts: 708 Member
Give me your best dad jokes:
I’ll start:
A priest, minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar.
The bartender asks “whaddaya having today?”
The rabbit replied: “I dunno...I’m only here because of autocorrect”
But the bartender is on his game... The bartender guesses correctly the bishop wants a glass of water, no ice so he can bless it. The priest got a glass of wine so he could use it for a small communion ceremony. They are amazed at the bartender’s ability. When he gets to the rabbit he puts down a big pint of beer. They all waited for an explanation....
‟I figured he’d want something kosher with hops.”
I’ll start:
A priest, minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar.
The bartender asks “whaddaya having today?”
The rabbit replied: “I dunno...I’m only here because of autocorrect”
But the bartender is on his game... The bartender guesses correctly the bishop wants a glass of water, no ice so he can bless it. The priest got a glass of wine so he could use it for a small communion ceremony. They are amazed at the bartender’s ability. When he gets to the rabbit he puts down a big pint of beer. They all waited for an explanation....
‟I figured he’d want something kosher with hops.”
1
Replies
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Bump0
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Why is a cemetery like a bathroom?
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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.
The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?"
"I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit.2 -
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Why don't pirates take a bath before they walk the plank? They just wash up on shore.1
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You think swimming with sharks is expensive? It cost me an arm and a leg1
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What is Forrest Gump’s email password?
1forrest1.0 -
When does a joke become a “dad joke?” When it becomes apparent.3
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Megan_smartiepants1970 wrote: »When does a joke become a “dad joke?” When it becomes apparent.
OMFG0 -
Destanieroberts06 wrote: »Megan_smartiepants1970 wrote: »When does a joke become a “dad joke?” When it becomes apparent.
OMFG
LOL0 -
What’s the formula for water?
Hijklmno
Huh?
H to O
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*Drives past cemetery*
Oh look a party! Everyone must be dying to get in!0 -
I knew this guy with a wooden car. It had wooden wheels, wooden seats and wooden engine. Problem was, it wooden go.1
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I imagined I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.
It was just a fanta-sea.0 -
Trying to revive this thread, not because i am a dad, because i am not, but because i like this sense of humor.
Here goes
"The other day i was in a restaurant, and they served their meat in portions of 2,3,5,7 or 11
It was their Prime Rib"
"Which country is has a lot of bad singers? Singapore"
"Me and some friends started a band. We call it Blanket. It's a coverband"1 -
ladder rungs are made further apart than last century because people are taller
Climb it change.2 -
How do you remember your anniversary? Forget it once.2
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How do you wake Lady Gaga? Poker Face0
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Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked under it.1
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Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands1
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Whats so good about living in Switzerland ?
I don't know either, but the flags a big plus.0 -
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I don't know and I don't care.1 -
Doctor, it hurts when I touch my leg, when I touch my stomach, when I touch my face! What's wrong with me?
You have a broken finger.1 -
I live between a tennis player and a lawyer. It’s makes things convenient. Every morning i just say “good luck on the court”1
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I gave my handyman a to-do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3, and 5.
Turns out he only does odd jobs.1 -
I was playing with my toy boats.
One tipped over so I used it as a hat.
Because it was cap sized.1 -
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places.1 -
What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.1
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