Scared to step on the scale
TheWaistBasket
Posts: 56 Member
Tomorrow it's 2 weeks since I signed up here and I haven't stepped on the scale. I am scared. I have ignored the scale for years and now I am terrified. I am so motivated, what if the number will crush me?
What if I didn't lose enough to keep me going. What if I gained? What if I only lost 1 or 2 lb?
How often should someone like me weigh anyway? I want to be under 350 lb. badly. How long will it take to lose 12 or 13 lb?
I am weighing my food, I am logging. I stay mostly under 1800 calories/day. I must have lost weight. (But what if not?)
What if I didn't lose enough to keep me going. What if I gained? What if I only lost 1 or 2 lb?
How often should someone like me weigh anyway? I want to be under 350 lb. badly. How long will it take to lose 12 or 13 lb?
I am weighing my food, I am logging. I stay mostly under 1800 calories/day. I must have lost weight. (But what if not?)
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Replies
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I'm not quite sure what advice to give you to be honest. You do have a lot of weight to lose. However, how quickly you lose it depends on how precise you are with logging. Are you using a foodscale for everything you eat and do you measure all liquids?
Also, another thing to consider is that our bodies not only consist of bones, fat and other tissue, but also of a lot of water, and there's waste in your intestines. Those last two fluctuate from day to day, and even from hour to hour. Whenever you eat something your weight goes up as of course that food has weight. The same with drinks. When you pee the fluid out your weight goes down again. Food needs a lot longer to digest, up to three days probably. And then there's the water weight. It also constantly fluctuates due to hormonal cycle, due to the amount you move, temperature, stress, lots of other things.
Those two things: waste and water weight are part of what your scale shows you. They are not fat, and they can vary a lot, even so much as to mask the fat loss of a whole month. Lots of women especially store more water during their menstruation. You might have lost 7lbs of fat in a month, and the moment you step on the scale you see no difference because you're at that time of the month and you've gained 7lbs in water. A few days later it will be gone again, but at that time it's there and hiding the weight loss.
I can't offer you any advice on how often to step on the scale. But I just want to let you know that an apparent lack of progress might not mean you're not losing weight.11 -
I would suggest measuring yourself, and that will take out some of the fluctuations mentioned by Yirara
There are two ways in my opinion to go about the scale, and which one is best really depends on you.
1. Get an app like Libra, and weigh yourself every day. The app will smooth out the daily fluctuations and give you a better idea of the trend, hopefully downward, which is all you actually care about. This makes it a lot easier to make adjustments to your intake to get the rate of loss that you want. This is what I do, because I like data, and I don't let higher days bother me especially when I see that trendline pointing down.
2. Weigh yourself once a month (or less!). Actually every 28 days, at the same point in your cycle. This takes the anxiety and crushing disappointment out of the every day fluctuations, but also gives you less data in the case that your calories aren't set correctly. Focus on NSVs (non scale victories), like eating a bit less and a bit healthier, logging, exercising, fitting better in your clothing, and feeling better
Either one you go with...the NSVs and measurements are important to keep up your motivation when the scale is being dumb. Scale loss is always nonlinear, especially if you are changing your eating or exercising habits a lot.4 -
If not, you keep trying. Even a 1 or 2 pound loss is a loss. Give yourself longer than 2 weeks to determine whether you quit or not. You are making a lot of adjustments and sometimes it takes time to get those adjustments right and to start getting the results you want. I have been accused of being too hard on myself. Try not to be. You decided to make changes. That is the first and in my opinion, one of the most difficult steps. Now it's just one day at a time. Don't beat yourself up. Who knows, you may step on that scale and get a wonderful surprise! Keep going. You can do this!5
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I get it. Everyone losing weight wants to see those concrete numbers on the scale to validate that our efforts are paying off.
But here's the thing. Let's say you get on the scale and you lost nothing. You'll have that feeling of disappointment, but you'll also have some data that you can work with and make adjustments as necessary. You can't make good adjustments without data.
I'm not trying to discount the emotional component, I know it's there. But the more you can encourage yourself to look at a process of collecting data to validate your estimates (or change them as necessary), the smoother it will be.
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I've said this before, but it's always worth repeating. The scale only tells you one thing: How much gravity is affecting you at the moment you step on it. That's it, and a million things can affect how much gravity affects you at any one time. You are doing things right by weighing your food, you will get far better results doing that than what you get by stepping on the scale once. Don't be intimidated/scared of the scale because ultimately what it shows is far less important than how you feel about yourself, how your clothes fit, the knowledge that you are persevering even when things are tough, etc.
I'm not saying to not use a scale, I weigh myself every morning at roughly the same time and under the same conditions. I take all those measurements at the end of the week and average them out to see what my average weight is for that week. I think this is a more accurate representation. As mentioned before Libra app is a great way to do this.
I've seen too many people quit this journey because the scale didn't reflect what they wanted it to. They gave up on all the effort and progress because of an arbitrary number. You will have good days/weeks, you will have bad days/weeks, that is guaranteed. This journey is always and only about making Progress, not being Perfect. Keep making Progress! You got this!10 -
Get a mirror and tape measure. Keep a journal.1
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Why didn't I think about measuring myself? It makes so much sense. I am going to do it right now (after typing this) and I will start a measurement journal. Such a good idea. Thank you.3
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I decided to take the daily fluctuation out of it and I will step on the scale once a month but measure myself (neck/chest/waist/hip/arms/tights/calves) every week.
I will also take pictures in the same outfit once a week but will blur my face.4 -
I track both weight and measurements. In the past I would get so frustrated with putting so much work into eating right and working out and not seeing the scale budge. A friend suggested I take measurements each month and I was surprised by the differences that didn't show up on the scale. A measurement journal is an excellent way to see progress1
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I would lie if I said that I don't get it. I do get it. But, you would be best served by moving beyond that and DECIDING that this is a science experiment and you are validating your experimental data!
It is not an emotional roller coaster where you're measuring self worth and rewarding your effort. Especially if you have been mixing in value laden narratives such as: "I am being good and I am being bad" instead of using phrases such as: "I am on track or off track in terms of meeting my goals".
It is an experiment where you're the chief investigator and you need to validate whether and how well what you have been doing the past two weeks has worked out!
Unfortunately part of the investigation should be whether you have valid data. And your data because of lack of frequency of observations is getting sampled in a less than ideal manner.
There were a couple of ideas floated above that are both good: one is using a weight trend app and recording all daily ups and downs. The other is comparing to the same time of your cycle a month ago. It has merit, but it is harder to implement and will remain more error prone because of issues such as sodium or recent exercise.
Last, but not least, your scale has to be ready to participate! Non yielding floor surface, no dirt in the foot/sensor areas, calibrated to zero, fresh enough batteries and all that.
Look. Whether you get a mental boost from great results
, neutral results that barely make you crack a smile 
, or even results that feel crushing and disappointing 
, the reality is that NOTHING CHANGES! 
Huh? you say.
Well nothing changes because regardless of what happens on any one, two, or ten weigh ins, it is not like you can give up and ignore the issue that made you look for and find MFP!
Ignoring the issue is equivalent to pre-approving future weight gains and making your future life harder... so it is a pretty not good option... easier to just take it off the table as an option and concentrate instead on just figuring out ways to create incremental positive change without relying too much on willpower and mood!
There is a lot of power on making small incremental changes
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this is something I cannot speak on or about. my ex had this same issue where she was afraid to weigh herself and I just could never understand. Me, personally, I may not want someone else's eyes on the scale while I'm weighing myself but I have no problems knowing what I weighed and etc, i wish I could help but it has to be some sort of mental thing going on3
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If you weighed in before starting the program and feel nervous about weighing again, I think you should hold off for now. Focus on your health and sticking with the good habits. Your clothes will tell you the story - and your knees and body will start to feel better. Then jump on the scale - but make sure you feel good about the progress so the numbers don't get you down. Congrats for sticking with it the first two weeks- you are well on the way to forming new habits.2
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All great advice!
I used to let the scale influence my emotions. After taking a lot of advice from successful people here, I decided to weigh daily and input it into the Libra app. A year later (and 70 pounds down), I simply see it as data. Fluctuations are normal. With that data, I can see when I'm indulging a bit too much and hop back on track. I have also learned much about my body and how it reacts to certain macros like high sodium, way too many simple carbs, and processed sugar. That's all temporary water weight
Taking measurement is also super helpful! When the scale isn't budging as anticipated, I can see my progress here.
Baby steps You've got this! 1 -
@TheWaistBasket I know this feeling soooooo well. Over the years, I have tried to see it more as a data point. The scale gives me a number that informs me a bit more if what I am doing is working or not working. That allows me to make more informed adjustments (if needed). I can't stress enough that one weight in is not enough information to change course. But you can get a sense of the trend over a little time.
Having said all that.. the scale is not 100% necessary at first (although helpful). You can judge weight loss on measdurements, how your clothes fit, mirror test, etc.1 -
I am on team daily-weighing-for-data, but I understand that emotionally you might not be there yet. You might be a LONG way from being there. We have been bombarded for so long that our self-worth is somehow tied to our weight, and it can take a while to unlearn that message.
So... What happens if you get on the scale and you see something that disappoints you? I really hope you see something that makes you feel accomplished tomorrow, but what if it doesn't? Are you going to quit? What will quitting accomplish? It will just set you back more time that you could spend working on finding a path forward. What's the point in that?
Unfortunately I can guarantee you that at some point in this process there will be a week where the scale shows a number that bums you out. Your weight loss will eventually slow. You might weigh in on a day with a big upward fluctuation. I think it's important now to start getting your head around the idea that the scale is just one tool. It's just one way of tracking your progress, and it's probably not the most important one. Here's a few things to consider on a disappointing scale day:
-You're gaining knowledge about how to nourish your body properly! You didn't learn everything about algebra in two weeks. You probably had a year of it. So think about what you're learning now, and what you want to learn, and what you WILL learn if you stick with it.
-How do you feel? Are you less bloated? Fewer days of discomfort from overeating? More energy? Fewer aches and pains?
-Look at your skin and hair - sometimes people say these look healthier, more radiant.
-If you've started exercising, is that exercise getting a little bit easier? Did you try something new, learn how to do something new?
-I take measurements monthly. Its worth doing. Do you see progress here?
No matter what happens, you've got this.3 -
Give yourself a pep talk right before you step on that scale(I do it every Monday morning when I weigh myself). And tell yourself you'll accept what it says as far as numbers go but that it's only a small part of the picture of who you are. Don't use those numbers as a reward(I did great, I deserve treating myself!) or a punishment(Well, I only lost x amount, might as well give up and eat.). Those would've been my typical thoughts back when because it all felt so overwhelming. Set small goals for yourself but don't set yourself up for disappointment with expectations of so much per week.
Recognize that it'll be a slow and continuous learning process to retrain yourself to eat healthier, move more, drink more water.....all those things that make perfect sense to us but can be challenging to do all the time.
And please don't think of an off day is a reason to give up. Mindset has so much to do with changing our bodies; I truly think as much as anything else. Positive self-talk has helped me many times. Try to substitute all those don't/can't/won't words with can and am and will words. And mean them.
Wishing you the very best of luck!!!1 -
My scale says I’m up 2 pounds. That tells me allergy season is winding down. Nothing else.
If you weigh every day, in the morning, after you go to the bathroom, before you eat or drink, you can learn lots of things you never would have expected.
The reason I know allergy season is winding down is that the last time I mowed, I gained 4 pounds overnight. This time I only gained 2. No worries. It goes away by itself in a few days or overnight if I take an allergy pill.
I never would have known that without the statistics I get from daily weighing.
I also eat a lot more one day every so often. I know that my weight will go way up the next day, but if I haven’t eaten over my tdee, it will come back down all by itself.
I know it can be scary. But it’s really just statistics. Just numbers. Just helpful information to help you along the way.4 -
So much good advice. Thanks. I will weigh in once a week. Every Friday morning before the weekend.
Taking measurements sounds like a good idea. I am going to buy a soft measuring tape this weekend, also I will buy a new scale. If I can find a modern with a higher weight limit.
I am still scared. I want the first weigh-in to be a success so badly.
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There are talking digital scales on Amazon that go over 400 lb if u don't mind spending something like 50 bucks.1
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Well say you DIDN'T lose enough.............what's your choice then? To quit and continue on a path of gaining weight and risking health issues as you age OR continue on and consistently lose a little at a time DECREASING your risk?TheWaistBasket wrote: »Tomorrow it's 2 weeks since I signed up here and I haven't stepped on the scale. I am scared. I have ignored the scale for years and now I am terrified. I am so motivated, what if the number will crush me?
What if I didn't lose enough to keep me going. What if I gained? What if I only lost 1 or 2 lb?
How often should someone like me weigh anyway? I want to be under 350 lb. badly. How long will it take to lose 12 or 13 lb?
I am weighing my food, I am logging. I stay mostly under 1800 calories/day. I must have lost weight. (But what if not?)
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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<-- one of the best timings for once a week! Smart choice!TheWaistBasket wrote: »So much good advice. Thanks. I will weigh in once a week. Every Friday morning before the weekend
One of the issues with measuring tapes is that there is a substantial variance when you move the tape around and when it is not absolutely parallel to the ground. Do you measure when inhaling? Exhaling? At the belly button? Where exactly is thigh, or breast level? What happens when your belly button droops and moves around as you lose weight--mine sure did! It is hard to duplicate measurements exactly!TheWaistBasket wrote: »Taking measurements sounds like a good idea. I am going to buy a soft measuring tape this weekend, also I will buy a new scale. If I can find a modern with a higher weight limit.
So is tape a nice data point? Why yes, it is. Can it reliably offer insight into weekly level progress? I am not so sure. I would think of tape measurements more along the lines of helping me marvel at multi-month level progress!
Also measurements across scales do not transfer directly. One scale can show me up or down 1, 2, 3 or even 5lbs compared to another scale. And that's now when I'm within the normal bmi range.
So it sounds like this is your initial weight measurement? The one I am always ticked at myself for never getting because when I was at my highest (and above my analogue scale's maximum) I wasn't even willing to step on a scale till my analogue scale could measure me again?
You need to take a deep breath my friend. A really deep one.
You are in a position where you want to change your life's trajectory a bit, right?
I mean regardless of the exact number we can all agree that you're not expecting it to already be in the "onederland" you are aiming to eventually get to!
And regardless of the exact number you're looking at a good couple of years before you get there, and at least another two to three before you're reasonably certain that you can hold yourself there through life's continuous changes. So this is a long term process... and it will pay for you to concentrate and work on the process instead of worrying much about distractions! :
Concentrate on finding easy trade off you're willing to make between higher calorie and more filling foods. Concentrate on figuring why you eat sometimes and what you could be doing instead. Worry about eating more like the person you want to be like in five years. Worry more about *slowly* starting to become more active in your daily life and working towards the level of activity your future you will be able to enjoy.
Whatever your current weight is... it is your starting point. It is not your ending point!
If you worry and concentrate on the process the weight change will follow.
If you do weekly weight ins, that's fine. I would still plug the values into a weight trend app. Or in an app that will allow you to transfer the info to a weight trend app in the future.
The scale weight number is not a validation of YOU; but, it *IS* an __indication__ of whether your chosen process is working as expected and whether you may have to re-examine and make sure you're still "on course"3 -
TheWaistBasket wrote: »Well say you DIDN'T lose enough.............what's your choice then? To quit and continue on a path of gaining weight and risking health issues as you age OR continue on and consistently lose a little at a time DECREASING your risk?
I guess only time will tell. I will keep you informed.3 -
Did you weigh in today, or are you waiting until next Friday? If you did, how did it go?0
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I am going to be honest, and do so as gently and lovingly as I can:
You HAVE to work on your mind, here. This + your profile leads me to believe that you are relying very much on success to motivate you. That is okay, to a degree.
But you are not going to lose weight quickly. You are not going to lose weight every week or even every other week. You are NOT always going to have motivation.
And the way you're eating now is, ultimately, about how you're going to need to live for the rest of your life. Without the little boost of of the scale dropping. Sometimes in spite of it bouncing UP.
You're at the start. You recognize these things about you. This is a great time to get that stuff untangled and to set yourself up to be successful. With professional help if you need it.6 -
wunderkindking wrote: »I am going to be honest, and do so as gently and lovingly as I can:
You HAVE to work on your mind, here. This + your profile leads me to believe that you are relying very much on success to motivate you. That is okay, to a degree. But you are not going to lose weight quickly. You are not going to lose weight every week or even every other week. You are NOT always going to have motivation.
And the way you're eating now is, ultimately, about how you're going to need to live for the rest of your life. Without the little boost of of the scale dropping. Sometimes in spite of it bouncing UP. You're at the start. You recognize these things about you. This is a great time to get that stuff untangled and to set yourself up to be successful. With professional help if you need it.
Of course I need motivation. Who doesn't? Of course I would like to see success. Who doesn't?
My mindset is fine, I am here. :-)
I know what you mean, and you might be right, but I know how I work best. Motivation at the beginning will keep me going. Small setbacks won't distract me, but overall success is my motivation. Here and in real life.
I did seek professional help from a dietician and will go back.4 -
I am semi scale phobic. I suffer from "body dysmorphia" meaning my self image is not acurate or reflective of reality. I weigh everyday and often strongly dislike what I record. For me it's about staying present and accountable. I know I'm not where I want to be. The scale hasn't told me anything I didn't already know aside from assigning the unsatisfactory image with a number. That number is extremely helpful because by weighing everyday I know how much diet and exercise to put in. Look at it if you will like taking medicine. I take my medicine every morning and I dislike it every morning. It takes about 14days to adjust to weighing daily but I wouldn't have lost any weight if I didn't. It's easy to say I'm working hard and deserve a treat if you aren't weighing in because you're not aware of exactly how far you are from your goal. I need the rigid perspective not of a friend but of a machine that wont lie to me to protect my feelings. I never ignored my weight or had problems identifying when it's out of control. A healthy weight for my tiny frame would be 125lbs-130lbs nothing higher. I have a long hard road ahead of me. I personally need to build muscle and lose fat which is harder than just making that weigh in. You don't need to weigh in every day necessarily but I think you are far more likly to reach improvement by weighing in no less than weekly. Yes reality hurts feelings but I'd say in your heart you know your weight is unhealthy. Once you have a number with the picture your mirror gave you there is hope. Inch my inch we get the chance to climb out of the hole we dug and improve that first number. Remember to watch youtube videos of what 5lbs of fat looks like it's a lot. I lost 0lbs my first 3 weeks of hard work. At first I was sad but I kept going because I noticed my weight wasn't going up. Eventually it started going down. My weight and pants size dropped but it wasn't as satisfying as others find. My weight was so far above my goal that even lowered it was unsatisfactory to me. Little by little I'm reaching for my goal and throughout this process I only saw my start weight on the scale until I started going down. Even when my weight fluctuates up it never goes above 10lbs lower than where I started. At my most bloated I'm still 2 pants sizes smaller. If you keep this up for 1year I guarentee you will lose enough to be proud of yourself. Day by day we'll get there. You see for some of us it's not just losing weight that's an accomplishment but also not gaining weight because we were steadily going up without leveling out or losing weight for a long time. Remember the scale is not your self worth it's a measuring tool. We start because our weight is climbing and it takes time + hard work to get the scale to lay horizontally meaning we're no longer gaining. It takes more time + hard work for our weight to lower. Once you get the hang of it though you'll see the changes you want little by little until your not as afraid of weigh ins. After a good weightloss streak you may even start to take pride in weigh ins. Good luck.7
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Also to recap your first weigh in CANNOT be bad. Without knowing where you started 2weeks ago you have no idea what you lost it could've been 15lbs or 0.2lbs. You have to remember that and keep going 2 more weeks to get a good idea of how your weightloss is going. Often we went up far more than we admitted to ourselves so after hard work the weigh in is still devistating without seeing the dramatic improvement because you didn't track the first 2 weeks. The first weigh in is SW meaning Start Weight. Without it we have no measure of what we lost or how our work is affecting our body. Accept the SW as the beginning and keep going.🙂4
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The weight didn’t get put on overnight, nor will it be gone overnight. It takes time. There is no finish line. I’m not data driven like a lot of people here, I’m results driven. I like to see actual, physical progress at work and when I first started losing weight. And I did, for a bit. Then you hit a plateau, that seemingly no matter what you do, you are stuck. But you keep after it. Keep doing what you know you need to do, and then, just like that, it kick starts again. There will be times that you will ask yourself if it is even worth all the effort. It is. You are. People are very helpful around here. I wish you all the best on your journey.2
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Weighing yourself is eventually something you should do. I hate the scale and many times and stretches of time.. I don't weigh..I use tight clothes as a way to track my progress. But weighing yourself is the best way to make sure you are on the right track..losing.. and it is vital in maintenance ..as you can gain five or more pounds without even knowing it because clothes still fit.
Also..don't let the reality of current weight fool with your head, or resolve to get this done. Sometimes the emotional turmoil of manning up and facing the facts can be used an excuse as a reason to quit. It is just the devil on your shoulder trying to keep you from improving yourself.5 -
TheWaistBasket wrote: »wunderkindking wrote: »I am going to be honest, and do so as gently and lovingly as I can:
You HAVE to work on your mind, here. This + your profile leads me to believe that you are relying very much on success to motivate you. That is okay, to a degree. But you are not going to lose weight quickly. You are not going to lose weight every week or even every other week. You are NOT always going to have motivation.
And the way you're eating now is, ultimately, about how you're going to need to live for the rest of your life. Without the little boost of of the scale dropping. Sometimes in spite of it bouncing UP. You're at the start. You recognize these things about you. This is a great time to get that stuff untangled and to set yourself up to be successful. With professional help if you need it.
Of course I need motivation. Who doesn't? Of course I would like to see success. Who doesn't?
My mindset is fine, I am here. :-)
I know what you mean, and you might be right, but I know how I work best. Motivation at the beginning will keep me going. Small setbacks won't distract me, but overall success is my motivation. Here and in real life.
I did seek professional help from a dietician and will go back.
I understand this. Everybody wants success because if you don't achieve it, why bother, right? But this kind of success takes lots of change in habits, finding new habits to replace the old, thinking positive, being patient, being gentle with yourself and don't berate yourself if you have an off day or week(just get back to it).
TBH I've lost/gained so much weight throughout my lifetime....
When I had a lot to lose, usually the 1st week or 2 I'd lose 5-10#. Ex. I weighed 200 when I went to WW the first time. When I went back the next week I'd lost 10. I was ecstatic. But the next 3 weeks I lost a pound a week. Still good but I was very impatient and wanted to be done. Oh I've learned so much since then.
Take your time, learn, experiment and adjust as you go. Try to have fun while you're doing this. Maybe find a new activity or hobby you like to keep your hands/mind busy. Enjoy life every single day, which is what we should all be doing no matter what our scales tell us.7
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