Help!

SaraJC2016

I've been trying to lose weight on and off since 2016 but always lose my motivation. I recently got married and saw some pictures my cousin had taken at the wedding. Instead of getting all teary eyed over pictures of our big day all I could think is "when did I get that big?", and I hate that. Then I went to the doctor yesterday and I weighed in at 237 pounds. I'm over it. I know I'm better than this.
All that being said how do you stay motivated and keep your willpower strong? I always start out great but then lose track. I think I'm doing better this time. I've started off slow by walking a mile or two daily with my daughter, and trying to incorporate more fruits and veggies into my meals. I'm just afraid I'm going to lose motivation again.
Help please!

88olds

I’m a motivation skeptic. It comes and goes. It’s too fleeting to get us all the way to goal. Actually, if I was in charge I’d change the name of this board to Determination and Persistence.

If you’re motivated right now, instead of looking at how much you can get the scale to go down today or tomorrow, channel that energy into making a sustainable plan. Good habits and routines will see you through the tough times. It’s just not realistic to expect to be enthusiastic about you program every day. Dieting can be a pain in the neck a lot of the time.

Weight loss has two parts- eating in a calorie deficit and living with it. There’s a tendency to go all in on the deficit and try to beat ourselves into living with it. Generally doesn’t work. A plan we can’t live with isn’t a good plan. The good news is plans can be fixed.

Willpower has its uses but it’s a limited resource. It’s wears out if over used. We need other strategies besides just tough it out.

You don’t say in your post, but do you count calories? Calorie counting works. But done right it’s a whole set of things to do. Use the MFP calculators to calculate a moderate calorie deficit, plan menus to hit your number, use a food scale to crunch numbers, keep a food diary and problem solve when needed. If you make your plan about things to do, the only way to go off your plan is to decide not to do the steps. Beware. Your own brain will try to tick into quitting. Don’t let it.

If your plan isn’t working make it better and keep making it better until it works. It can be done and you can do it. Good luck.

sandielewis2001

I read somewhere that your weight is determined by what you do most of the time. Focus on small changes that seem sustainable for the long term. Instead of saying "No sugar/sweets" try "I'll only have sweets when I have a big calorie deficit or for special occasions such as birthdays". Once the small change becomes a habit, incorporate something else.

I started with logging my food and keeping to a calorie goal and once that felt sustainable I started tracking other numbers (increase fiber, decrease sugar, macro focus).

You can do it!

steveko89

I agree with the other posts; stop relying on motivation to keep you going, it will always eventually fade and leave you back at square one if you don't work on your habits and discipline. In this time that you are motivated, focus on building structure and routine into your behaviors that support your goals long-term.

The answer to the question "when did I get that big?" is very likely with years of habitual overeating and a lack of portion control and accountability. It sounds harsh but the reality of that truth is that it won't be undone with spurts of being "on track" and the occasional "watching what you eat". Success will come from ruthlessly executing the fundamentals over a long period of time. It will boil down to redefining your default behaviors and habits so you're ultimately beyond needing to depend on motivation to make choices that contribute to your goals. This obviously will take time, trial & error. Trust the process, have patience, and be kind to yourself. If you find that you've "failed" (however that's personally defined) treat it as an opportunity to learn and define what didn't work, what was the obstacle that tripped you up, and how to avoid it next time. In essence, don't worry about failing just fail better the next time and you'll continue to improve and grow.

lmf1012

88olds wrote: »

I’m a motivation skeptic. It comes and goes. It’s too fleeting to get us all the way to goal. Actually, if I was in charge I’d change the name of this board to Determination and Persistence.

If you’re motivated right now, instead of looking at how much you can get the scale to go down today or tomorrow, channel that energy into making a sustainable plan. Good habits and routines will see you through the tough times. It’s just not realistic to expect to be enthusiastic about you program every day. Dieting can be a pain in the neck a lot of the time.

Weight loss has two parts- eating in a calorie deficit and living with it. There’s a tendency to go all in on the deficit and try to beat ourselves into living with it. Generally doesn’t work. A plan we can’t live with isn’t a good plan. The good news is plans can be fixed.

Willpower has its uses but it’s a limited resource. It’s wears out if over used. We need other strategies besides just tough it out.

You don’t say in your post, but do you count calories? Calorie counting works. But done right it’s a whole set of things to do. Use the MFP calculators to calculate a moderate calorie deficit, plan menus to hit your number, use a food scale to crunch numbers, keep a food diary and problem solve when needed. If you make your plan about things to do, the only way to go off your plan is to decide not to do the steps. Beware. Your own brain will try to tick into quitting. Don’t let it.

If your plan isn’t working make it better and keep making it better until it works. It can be done and you can do it. Good luck.

I wholeheartedly agree with all of this! The old adage "if you fail to plan, then plan to fail" has quite a ring of truth to it. In all of my prior attempts that failed, I did not have a solid, well thought out plan. Sure, I would start walking and "try" to "eat better" but that is a pretty vague plan.

Losing fat is all about having a calorie deficit so at a minimum you will have to determine how to do that in a sustainable way. For me, I have some regular go-to foods I eat often for breakfast, lunch and snacks and change up my dinners. I also pre-log them into my diary and then adjust as needed. For example, I am going to a friend's for the weekend and am planning some new dinner recipes to try, including desserts so I have made adjustments to the rest of my day to accommodate those.

I have found it helpful to calculate (or have MFP calculate through their guided setup) what my deficit will be and then by sticking to it on a regular basis, I know I am doing what I need to do to lose weight. That gives me a lot of peace of mind and takes a lot of the guessing out of the process.

nappingcatpress

Using the Mifflin-St. Jeor equation, the difference between the basal metabolic rate of someone of the same height and activity level being 225# and 150# in only 100-200 calories a day. The problem for people is that, to get from A to B is that it will take a few years to do that. A slow but permanent rate of weight loss takes small changes and patience. Set a small, doable goal. Say, 215 by Christmas. If you work out the calculation, that's probably 0.3#/week, or less. It won't show on your scale, it's not something you can brag to friends about. But it will be real, an easy. My best advice: measure portions with a good kitchen scale -- this made all the difference. #2, ditch the bathroom scale - it lies. #3 take a week to cut out all added sugar. You'll go back after a week, but I promise you won't want it as much. #4, keep the MFP food diary, but make sure it's set to 0.5lbs week -realistic. Follow those simple rules, and this time next year you'll be surprised how good you feel.