Women - dealing with gaining weight??

zac296caz

Hey everyone!

Recently I went on a trip this week with family. Admittedly, I have more mass on me. My weight is less than what it was when they have seen me last. They have said I gained weight.
It really got into my feelings.
Now, I DO NOT want to look skinny. I still feel really small in muscle all around my body. My dad reassured me, that I don't look skinny anymore but I used to around a year ago.
I'm not trying to let things bother me. I am working on doing a cleaner bulk now, I was keeping track of calories but eating more carbs.

How do you deal with those comments? It's just annoying.
I'm honestly thinking of going in a cut, but I still need to grow my glutes, butt and shoulders more.

I slowly started eating more in January, it's been six months, so I think if I wanted to I could cut?
😩

TrenbaloneySandwich

zac296caz wrote: »

Hey everyone!

How do you deal with those comments? It's just annoying.


😩

Not a woman here but, I've dealt with plenty of disparaging comments from family members as I was on a weight loss goal. It is bothersome. You'd think family would be supportive, of all people 😒.

Bring up a discussion about it with the ones who do make disparaging comments. If they can't be understanding and a little more considerate after you've brought up the issue.. well, I personally was ready to cut family members out of my friend circle if they couldn't keep their mouth shut. It's unacceptable. If people can't say something supportive of your fitness goals then they at least should keep their mouths shut and not project their own body insecurities onto others.

Having said that - did they just make a casual comment about noticing a slight change on you or do they consistently make disparaging comments?

springlering62

By any chance is anyone in that family circle overweight?

My mom reacted jealously any time I lost weight and would say and do things to sabotage me.

When I started losing weight and had lost a fair amount, my (slim athletic) daughter reacted extremely negatively.

We just never know what’s going on in folks’ heads, even those closest to us.

A lot of users here have commented on family members inappropriate comments. I guess we think we have a license to say anything we want, hurtful or not, to those we love, often not having an off switch for the mouth.

Guilty, dammit. My mouth not only doesn’t have an off switch, I think it has a hyperdrive. *sigh*

SnifterPug

If your dad reassured you that you don't look skinny, then maybe they know you don't want to look skinny and were trying to be complimentary?

Either way, your best bet would probably have been to say something like "Thanks - that's the idea." Either they go into paroxysms of shock that anyone might want to bulk (in which case easiest to change the subject) or they encourage you and all is good.

Family (I find) have a knack of saying the wrong thing in a really annoying way and you just have to try not to let it get to you. If you want to cut for your own reasons, then do. But if you don't want to, then don't let family comments sabotage your plans.

zac296caz

TrenbaloneySandwich wrote: »

zac296caz wrote: »

Hey everyone!

How do you deal with those comments? It's just annoying.


😩

Not a woman here but, I've dealt with plenty of disparaging comments from family members as I was on a weight loss goal. It is bothersome. You'd think family would be supportive, of all people 😒.

Bring up a discussion about it with the ones who do make disparaging comments. If they can't be understanding and a little more considerate after you've brought up the issue.. well, I personally was ready to cut family members out of my friend circle if they couldn't keep their mouth shut. It's unacceptable. If people can't say something supportive of your fitness goals then they at least should keep their mouths shut and not project their own body insecurities onto others.

Having said that - did they just make a casual comment about noticing a slight change on you or do they consistently make disparaging comments?

I think it's a lot to do with the culture that I'm a part of. My cousins and family tend to make weight comments without prompt. I usually will only mention if someone who is trying to lose weight lost it and congratulate them on it.
And it was last week, it was during a trip to a cousins house, I responded back that I'm trying to gain weight. I have added muscle to my butt for the first time in years. They always say something about my appearance.
I am debating on if I should say something next time. She's a cousin older than me and I just have never put my foot down on it.

zac296caz

springlering62 wrote: »

By any chance is anyone in that family circle overweight?

My mom reacted jealously any time I lost weight and would say and do things to sabotage me.

When I started losing weight and had lost a fair amount, my (slim athletic) daughter reacted extremely negatively.

We just never know what’s going on in folks’ heads, even those closest to us.

A lot of users here have commented on family members inappropriate comments. I guess we think we have a license to say anything we want, hurtful or not, to those we love, often not having an off switch for the mouth.

Guilty, dammit. My mouth not only doesn’t have an off switch, I think it has a hyperdrive. *sigh*

I have said comments to people I am really close with and aren't touchy on it. My bf works out and if he gains weight, I will say something if I haven't seen them in a while, but again I try to be careful about it lol. Because Ik it can hurt if it's not the goal.
But my family that I live with right now, are very understanding. It's just extended family and their "rude" friends that say things. I usually wouldn't spend time with them and I naturally was trying to just be respectful and not tell them off. Lol, but next time I'll just share that I don't really need to here these comments. If they are ssoooo brave to talk about my appearance, I need to protect myself and tell them off lol.

And yes, the two individuals are overweight lol. My cousin always had issues with weight management and her husband used to be athletic in body, but I think he just gained weight from marriage. Idk I never really said anything lol, mainly because they seem to be healthy and I don't know them too much, but maybe they felt insecure.

zac296caz

SnifterPug wrote: »

.

Family (I find) have a knack of saying the wrong thing in a really annoying way and you just have to try not to let it get to you. If you want to cut for your own reasons, then do. But if you don't want to, then don't let family comments sabotage your plans.

Very true that my dad did reassure me in a positive way. I still have more muscle to build. My measurements and weight are okay, and true, I shouldn't let strangers comments push me to a cut. Ultimately when I cut, I will be losing some of that muscle too.


I'm still learning my boundaries and ignoring those comments.

I have seen personal trainers at the gym (granted they were probably prepping for bodybuilding competition or just bulking) pack on lot more mass quicker... Fat and muscle. They didn't look "skinny" and it was absolutely fine! I'm definitely a lot more built than I was 2 years ago of being in a claoric deficit.

Chieflrg

Sorry you felt hurt by the comments. Maybe talk to them and just mention that it hurt.

If you should cut or continue bulking I would generally look at your composition. If you happen to be carrying a tad more body fat, you find it useful to lower your bf or composition. I can really be any use help deyermining that not knowing you current training history and body composition.