Disabled & Discouraged

Lost9Angels

I have several, severe chronic illnesses and I am disabled. I can only stand for 5 minutes and walking - well, is pretty much non existent. I have to use a mobility scooter to go shopping.

My main problem for exercise is the fact I can't stand for very long or walk very far (or fast) because of excruciating BACK pain. The doctor has tried me on all sorts of tablets, even Diazepam and that didn't even TOUCH the pain. It just made me feel more chilled out than I usually am.

I had 3 little walks yesterday, managing just about what I could. The last being just over 6 minutes and I finished that walk in absolute agony.

I am on a referral for orthopaedics as physiotherapy didn't help my back pain at all.

Just those 3 little walks today have absolutely floored me today with exhaustion and pain.

How do I carry on with this much pain? How can I be active and lose weight when I'm in that much pain I wish I didn't wake up tomorrow? I feel like an absolute failure, no matter which life choices I make now.

Thank you for reading.

lmf1012

Hi, I cannot begin to imagine what that must be like, I am sorry you have to deal with constant pain. You are most definitely not a failure!

The great news is, you can lose weight without any exercise at all. In fact, diet has a much bigger impact on weight loss than exercise does. Rather than be in agony (which may cause you to give up), focus your efforts on maintaining a calorie deficit to lose weight. In time, with less weight to carry around, you may not have the same level of pain walking, it might become more manageable.

How did you set up your goals in MFP? I assume you set activity to sedentary, but how much did you say you wanted to lose per week? Whatever calorie goal it gave you, are you diligently tracking food and meeting that goals fairly consistently?

Are you just getting started here or have you been on here awhile and just struggling?

goal06082021

Is your chronic pain caused or exacerbated by your excess body fat?

If so, the good news is that you don't actually need to exercise to lose weight, if that's the primary goal right now. All you need is a calorie deficit, the suffering is optional. This does mean you will need to eat less than you're used to, but you don't have to go hard in the paint and cut straight to 1200 calories per day and never so much as look at a slice of bread ever again, that's not necessary either. If your pain improves after losing some weight through diet alone, then you'll probably have an easier time incorporating exercise.

Go through the guided setup here, set it to lose 1lb or even 0.5 lb per week, and get in the habit of tracking - weigh your portions with a kitchen scale and log what you eat in your food diary here. I would try logging honestly for a week or two, to build the habit and build up your Recents list so it's easier going forward. Over time, logging will get quicker because you probably eat the same general things most of the time, and you'll find good reliable entries for the foods you eat most often so they'll pop right up when you search. It'll also get quicker because you'll develop more of a sense of what's reasonable and not have to double-check calorie counts for things.

The database does have a lot of outdated or inaccurate entries, so do take the time to familiarize yourself with the labels on your food and make sure the calorie counts match or are at least close. For foods you prepare yourself, use the recipe builder and put in the actual amounts of your actual ingredients - don't trust that some random "spaghetti bolognese" or whatever entry in the food database was made exactly the same way you make yours. As a rule, I don't trust anything "generic," "homemade," or with serving sizes that are just listed as "1 serving."

Lietchi

Is it just walking and standing that is a problem? If you look into seated exercise routines, maybe you can find something that you can do without pain to still keep active?

MargaretYakoda

I can barely walk. I use a NuStep recumbent elliptical.
They’re amazing. My particular issue includes a balance disorder. I can step through and sit comfortably and securely.

They are expensive. But you can get one on credit. I know that’s not ideal. But it’s what we’re doing.

springlering62

It’s possible to lose weight without lots of exercise. I found these two users to be particularly inspiring, and there’s others, too.

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10831243/born-without-legs-and-lost-89-lbs/p1

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/comment/45770191#Comment_45770191

There’s another thread over in success stories by an older woman who lost 100+ pounds, but I can’t find it.

There’s a saying here that weight loss is made in the kitchen, and tons of users with fewer challenges have done well “in the kitchen”, without the exercise.

I found that simply losing the weight eased my own joint pain. It diminished with every pound lost.

springlering62

There’s also an amazing thread somewhere around here by a woman who had problems similar to yours. She had enough. She gritted her teeth and walked to the mailbox. The next day she said she added a fence post. A telephone pole the next. With each tiny addition she was able to go further, and was ultimately able to walk several miles a day, and lost a substantial amount of weight. Hers was one of the most joyous posts I ever read.

girlwithcurls2

It sounds like your exercise routine was a bit ambitious for starting out. Start where you are. You don't need to do anything that will wipe you out the next day. Many of us here have made that mistake though. You're not the only one. I will agree that getting familiar with how much you are eating (and what you are eating) will really help. Having a good food scale and making sure your entries are accurate is a great place to start.

Do you have access to a pool? You could walk or swim there. Or do a water fitness class. Other than that, maybe chair exercises or chair yoga.

Check out the links to inspiring stories above. On the days when you "don't feel like it," it's pretty motivating to read what results are gained by sticking to the plan. And you can always come back here for a pep talk. It takes some of us a long time to really figure this out. And some of us still don't get it right every day. Just do what you can today. Start where you are and make one good decision. Then make another. Build on that. Write them down if it helps you to see on paper what little changes you are making. As long as the "good decision" column is longer than the "not as good decision" column, you're making progress

Iwannabeapunkrockmom

I just wanted to give you some encouragement that every day you decide to try and keep going makes a huge difference in the long run. I couldn't walk this time last year. But I got a cane and started trying. I remember putting in 700 steps one day and being so exhausted and discouraged. I have RA, lupus, digenerative Disc disease, scoliosis, and SI joint dysfunction. Basically everything hurts and gravity is my nemesis. But I kept trying. And kept logging my food. Slowly but surely I have regained mobility. I have been averaging 9k steps a day and my goal is to keep moving and average 10 k steps a day. I have lost 42 pounds. It didn't happen over night. It happened one step at a time. I still have occasional days when I'm out of spoons and it feels like I just can't do anything. Today is actually one of those days because I over did it yesterday. But my mindset on these days is just... Try to do anything. I haven't gotten out of bed yet today because I'm really dreading those first moments when my feet hit the floor and my body screams at me. It's the hardest moment of every day. But I'll get my kids in here to hype me up and cheer me on, and my toddler has a diaper that needs to be changed, so I have motivation to overcome my first obstacle of the day. Find your motivation. You can do this. We can do this.

MargaretYakoda

Iwannabeapunkrockmom wrote: »

I just wanted to give you some encouragement that every day you decide to try and keep going makes a huge difference in the long run. I couldn't walk this time last year. But I got a cane and started trying. I remember putting in 700 steps one day and being so exhausted and discouraged. I have RA, lupus, digenerative Disc disease, scoliosis, and SI joint dysfunction. Basically everything hurts and gravity is my nemesis. But I kept trying. And kept logging my food. Slowly but surely I have regained mobility. I have been averaging 9k steps a day and my goal is to keep moving and average 10 k steps a day. I have lost 42 pounds. It didn't happen over night. It happened one step at a time. I still have occasional days when I'm out of spoons and it feels like I just can't do anything. Today is actually one of those days because I over did it yesterday. But my mindset on these days is just... Try to do anything. I haven't gotten out of bed yet today because I'm really dreading those first moments when my feet hit the floor and my body screams at me. It's the hardest moment of every day. But I'll get my kids in here to hype me up and cheer me on, and my toddler has a diaper that needs to be changed, so I have motivation to overcome my first obstacle of the day. Find your motivation. You can do this. We can do this.

Can I send you a friend request? I would like as many fellow spoonies on my timeline as possible.

LynneM1980

I have several disabilities as well, and I know chronic pain is no joke. I think you should be proud of yourself for putting yourself out there and trying!! You are certainly not a failure!!The way I am managing is by little steps, like Iwannabeapunkrockmom said. I seem to be building up to be able to do a little more, bit by bit. You've got this!!

Iwannabeapunkrockmom

MargaretYakoda wrote: »

Can I send you a friend request? I would like as many fellow spoonies on my timeline as possible.

Yes definitely!

zebasschick

don't do something that makes your pain worse. try and find something you can do that doesn't cause massive more pain.

perhaps you could do arm cycling? i do that sometimes, and it's surprisingly effective and doesn't use your legs at all. just get a small exercise bike and put your hands on the pedals and go. lightest resistance starting out, don't push yourself till you adapt. you can usually find them by searching mini exercise bike. i have a magnetrainer, but i used to use cheaper ones that worked fine.

or can you use a recumbent exercise bike on very low resistance? i have some issues with knees and ankles, and it's working pretty well for me even on the lowest resistance.

Beverly2Hansen

I remember trying to walk before my 2019 surgery... it wasn't very doable so I lost weight without exercise by just eating less although it's not pleasant. I love the different options being thrown out on this thread and just wanted to say I really hope you get effective treatment for your back soon and you're not alone.

88olds

Don’t know how you can be active. But you can lose weight counting calories.

Get a food scale, and start a food diary. Start logging everything you eat or drink that has calories. Use measuring cups for liquids, the food scale for everything else. Log everything with a number. If you find yourself in a situation where you don’t know how to count something, make a good faith estimate and keep going. Calorie counting doesn’t have to be perfect to work, it just needs to be consistent.

When you are ready use the MFP calculator to find the maintenance calories for your current weight. Then calculate the calorie target to lose 1 lb per week. Start planning weekly menus. Aim to stay in between your two numbers.

Make a plan for regular weigh ins and record the results. Make the weigh ins consistent. Same time, same scale, same conditions. No jumping on and off the scale during the day.
After a month look at the results. Have you lost anything? And I mean anything?

Weight loss has two parts- eating in a calorie deficit and living with it. There’s a tendency to go all in on the deficit and try to beat ourselves into living with it. Generally doesn’t work. At the end of a month consider how you are living counting calories. If you are losing weight and can live with it, change nothing and keep going. If you are not losing, you will need to aim for a lower calorie target. And you will have to figure out how to live with that.

Last thing- there’s a significant calorie counting learning curve. It involves a lot of trial and error. Plus your own brain will try to wreck you by telling you that what you’re doing is not working, that it takes too long and that it will never get you to a healthy weight. Push back. Calorie counting does work. It has to work. It’s how our bodies are designed.

Really the last thing- keep your food diary not matter what. Over your number? Log it. Crazy over? Log that too. Never quit. You are never “off” your plan so long as you keep the diary diary going. The process is more important than the numbers.

If the voice in your head is screaming now that you can’t possibly do all this tell the voice to shut up and give it a try. It works. The evidence is that I’m alive to write this post. Good luck.

Siberian2590

I understand your pain. A couple of years ago I blew out all 4 of my lumbar IV discs. Neurosurgeon insisted on taking the "conservative surgery approach" and did microdiscectomies, that helped some, but the discs and vertebrae continued to degenerate. 4 surgeries and 2 years later I was worse then when he started.

Finally, in Feb 2021, when my right leg developed severe deficits and I couldn't walk at all without a walker, he decided to do what he should have done in the begining, and did a L1-S1 laminectomy and fusion. The post op pain and weakness was horrible and it was 3 months before I could do more than hobble around with a walker. Now I can walk a little bit with a cane, and have started physical therapy and exercise to gain some strength.

But walking still hurts and I have to be careful not to fall. I still have nerve damage in my right leg because they pissed around.

Sounds to me like you need to find a good neurosurgeon and get a MRI if you haven't done so, then decide if surgery will help. Don't pussyfoot around; usually aggressive surgery and rehab is needed for debilitating back pain.

Good luck.