Subject to Emotional Eating

mylittlerainbow

In this past month, I have had TWO binges. Both came as letdowns after a period of high anxiety or stress. (At five feet tall and weighing 95-97 lbs, MFP limits me to under 1400 calories before it warns me I'm on a weight gain trend - and its projections have been accurate enough that I do take this seriously and continue logging daily since I went onto maintenance last October.) I know that emotional eating is how I put all that weight back on in the first place - first caring for a dying relative and then going back to school, which has always been stressful for me.

But it was qualitatively different for me this time, so there's an element of victory in getting through this, more than just a learning experience:

1) I'm disappointed that I've done this, but there is no self-talk of revulsion, contempt, hatred;

2) I have nipped it in the bud each time - instead of letting it be license to eat freely "forever" and put all the weight back on, I've stopped and gotten back on the wagon;

3) I know that not only do I know how to oversee myself and lose any extra pounds but that a day of excessive eating does not usually translate into a long-term weight gain and I can handle it.

The next step of course is to try not to get into any further binges, because alternating overeating with undereating is so unhealthy for our bodies. And I do understand the triggers - not just emotional, but in both cases, I had subsequently gone out with people and eaten refined carbs (I only allow myself complex carbs on plan). This triggered me so that, once I was back home on my own, I 'had' to eat hugely and relentlessly. The important thing is not to let myself fall back into my pattern but to understand what kicked it off and avoid the 'reward eating' in a social situation that ends a highly stressful event.

I guess we're never DONE. We're always a work in progress and always learning about ourselves. I wish it weren't so but apparently it is.

ReenieHJ

If I was more eloquent, I could've written this very same post. We ARE a work in progress and as tiresome as it sounds, it'll never end. But something I've learned(slow learner here at 67 yo) is that 1 day(or even week) doesn't have to destroy everything we've put into this. I also don't beat myself up anymore, turning a day or 2 into complete chaos but get right back at it. During 2020 I ended up gaining 30# due to stress and isolation. Eek. But I finally put the brakes on, established a better routine and am back to within a # or 2 of where I was. I really credit MFP for getting me back on track because in my younger days, I'd've gained much more and never looked back.

Good for you for all the realizations you've made part of your mindset now!! Binge-ing is a very difficult thing to deal with and our mindset is sometimes the hardest to change.

cmriverside

Yeah, and here's a thing too...

I don't under-eat after one of those days. I just eat my normal selected calorie amount on the next day. The yo-yo is also an emotional reaction.


I have been at Maintenance weight for twelve years and I still have days where I eat double my calories, sometimes it is set off by some emotional event and sometimes it is set off by having ice cream in the house.

It's okay, I always get back on plan and it doesn't amount to any permanent gain.

You've cracked the code. Well done.

rosebarnalice

I will never be done.

I've been n emotional eater since age 6 and have lost and gained and relost and regained so many times Ive lost count largely cycled by stressful upheavals in my life.

Counseling has helped me face some of my emotional demons. Learning and using alternative in-the-moment anxiety-calming techniques such as box-breathing and self-coaching, and longer-term mental self care such as establishing boundaries with "triggering people" and practicing mindful eating, mini-meditations, affirmations and gratitude checks have all helped.

Logging honestly also helps. When I'm feeling bad /sad/ lonely /angry / anxious/ discombobulated / uncomfortable, it helps remind me that whatever it is that I'm feeling, it's NOT hunger, and food isn't going to make the feeling go away, and that sometimes the best thing I can do is just FEEL my feelings instead of trying to stuff them down with food.

mylittlerainbow

Thank you for your very thoughtful remarks and insights. I've been involved in a whole string of classes the last few days and only came to MFP to log, no time to come to the boards. But I was not intending to ignore you!

zebasschick

i'm an emotional eater, and i put a lot of weight on caring for my elderly mother for three years. she passed on in 2011, but it continues to be an issue. to deal with it, i've done two things.

first, i've found hobbies/interests that i feel deeply satisfied with. i took up watercolor painting, got back into sketching and play the bass. i find they make me feel calm and satisfied without eating.

second, i make sure to always have lower calorie foods that i really like. i found a brand of almost calorie-free (just 5 calories per serving) jello cups in orange and strawberry, and i love 'em. there's the 37 calorie brownie recipe here on MFP that's really pretty good, and if you eat 4 servings, it's still only 148 calories. egg white omelette is really good, and if all else fails, some flavors of quest bars are delish, and you can get your chocolate and protein at 180 to 200 calories. even if you double up, it's not bad.

PAPYRUS3

ReenieHJ wrote: »

If I was more eloquent, I could've written this very same post. We ARE a work in progress and as tiresome as it sounds, it'll never end. But something I've learned(slow learner here at 67 yo) is that 1 day(or even week) doesn't have to destroy everything we've put into this. I also don't beat myself up anymore, turning a day or 2 into complete chaos but get right back at it. During 2020 I ended up gaining 30# due to stress and isolation. Eek. But I finally put the brakes on, established a better routine and am back to within a # or 2 of where I was. I really credit MFP for getting me back on track because in my younger days, I'd've gained much more and never looked back.

Good for you for all the realizations you've made part of your mindset now!! Binge-ing is a very difficult thing to deal with and our mindset is sometimes the hardest to change.

omg...you do NOT look like you are this age! You sure must be doing something 'right'!😉

mylittlerainbow

zebasschick wrote: »

i'm an emotional eater, and i put a lot of weight on caring for my elderly mother for three years.

That is definitely a stressful event that triggers overeating in me as well. I put on tremendous weight caring for two husbands, each of whom died of cancer. That and classes do me in. It's nice how we're all learning all the time! INCLUDING learning to be gentle with ourselves ...

ahoy_m8

"Reward eating" is a great descriptor. I certainly recognize it in my own behavior. Sometimes putting a name to something lessens its power, and I am going to try using this term in my self talk next time that feeling of DESERVING creeps in. Thanks for that.

ReenieHJ

PAPYRUS3 wrote: »

ReenieHJ wrote: »

If I was more eloquent, I could've written this very same post. We ARE a work in progress and as tiresome as it sounds, it'll never end. But something I've learned(slow learner here at 67 yo) is that 1 day(or even week) doesn't have to destroy everything we've put into this. I also don't beat myself up anymore, turning a day or 2 into complete chaos but get right back at it. During 2020 I ended up gaining 30# due to stress and isolation. Eek. But I finally put the brakes on, established a better routine and am back to within a # or 2 of where I was. I really credit MFP for getting me back on track because in my younger days, I'd've gained much more and never looked back.

Good for you for all the realizations you've made part of your mindset now!! Binge-ing is a very difficult thing to deal with and our mindset is sometimes the hardest to change.

omg...you do NOT look like you are this age! You sure must be doing something 'right'!😉

Well, that particular picture is from 2012 so I was much younger then. Got a few more wrinkles. But honestly, I don't feel any older and weigh about the same.

ReenieHJ

mylittlerainbow wrote: »

zebasschick wrote: »

i'm an emotional eater, and i put a lot of weight on caring for my elderly mother for three years.

That is definitely a stressful event that triggers overeating in me as well. I put on tremendous weight caring for two husbands, each of whom died of cancer. That and classes do me in. It's nice how we're all learning all the time! INCLUDING learning to be gentle with ourselves ...

I think being gentle with ourselves, forgiving ourselves for an oops, giving ourselves the compassion and understanding as we'd be giving our best friend.....has a lot to do with achieving success. Nobody is perfect. We all regress, make mistakes, stumble. As long as we're moving more steps forward, than backward, in the long run, then all is good.

Fflpnari

I am the exact same!!! Ive learned my triggers. A binge might last a day or 2. It will not derail me anymore, it is only temporary. Finals in school do it to me every term. I accept it and move on. I try my best but they still happen.

It is fantastic that you are recognizing what is going on, thats a huge victory!!