An Open Letter to Plus Sized Stores (DXL/Big & Tall)

JMC3Terp
JMC3Terp Posts: 2,803 Member
in Success Stories
We need to talk. It's not you, it's me. We can still be friends?

The truth is, I'm not the man I was when we met. Rather, I'm almost half the man. I've outgrown you... or maybe it's just the opposite. I'll always remember the good times together. You were the only one for me. The only store that actually had clothes that fit me. You saved me from the Big Person's Plight of buying online and praying it fits. But it wasn't meant to last. You're strong though, you'll get through this. Let's be honest, things have been rocky for awhile. While you gave me something nobody else did, it wasn't the easiest relationship. I'd want a plain T-shirt and you'd want $45. I get it, I'm big, so there's more material and therefore a higher cost.

But things have changed; and now you aren't the only game in town. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and some of them sell affordable and smaller clothing ;).

Take care of yourself and I'll always remember you,

JMC3Terp


Post Letter: For real though, I've always been big into NSV's and this past week has been maybe the biggest one for me yet. BUYING CLOTHES IN REGULAR STORES. I started my journey at 361.6 pounds, a 4XL shirt size and a 52 waist. I'm now 238.2 pounds, a 2XL (which 2XL in normal stores seems alot smaller than 2XL in plus-sized stores - but maybe that's just me) and a 38 waist. I still have a long way to go, but shopping this week has been an absolute blast (AND I'M BUYING CLOTHES THAT ARE CHEAP TOO! $6 shirts, $12 shorts, It's awesome!). I'm a 31 year old man who never liked clothes or shopping until now. Can't wait to get to my goal weight and burn through way too much money buying clothes I like LOL.

Just had to share - keep up all the hard work everyone! :D

Replies

  • Fflpnari
    Fflpnari Posts: 975 Member
    thats amazing!! I always bought clothes that fit, not if they looked good. Enjoy shopping now!!
  • JMC3Terp
    JMC3Terp Posts: 2,803 Member
    Sand_TIger wrote: »
    I love this. I get that more cloth means more cost - but does it really double or triple, or more, the cost? Big and Tall stores know they have us over a barrel - till we shrink to freedom, that is. Great work!

    Absolutely. I recently bought a shirt at Kohl's for $12 (actually 16, but it was on sale). The same shirt (but in a 2XL to 6XL) was sold at a Plus Sized Store for $40. I think what happens is they consider themselves "specialty" stores due to their "unique" items and clientele. So they charge extra for a "unique service". I'm still grateful that there was a store that had clothes in my old size, but I'm very happy to no longer be beholden to those crazy prices LOL.
    Fflpnari wrote: »
    thats amazing!! I always bought clothes that fit, not if they looked good. Enjoy shopping now!!

    100%. In the past I bought clothes I didn't hate that fit me well. Now I actually buy clothes I like and enjoy. It's so cool. :sunglasses:
  • MargaretYakoda
    MargaretYakoda Posts: 2,997 Member
    Y’all are my people. ❤️
    I’m looking forward to thrift shop gold that fits. I was there before. It will happen again. And soon, I’m sure.
  • JMC3Terp
    JMC3Terp Posts: 2,803 Member
    goal06082021 wrote: »
    Color? Who cares. Style? As if it matters. It's left me with a pretty haphazard-looking closet, and I'm so looking forward to being able to truly curate a wardrobe. You'll see me writing my own letter to Lane Bryant this time next year, mark my words!

    It will definitely happen for you, you just have to keep at it. I've failed at dieting for almost a decade and a half before this attempt, and honestly the biggest change has just been my mindset and attitude. Educating myself and staying positive and focused has made a world of difference. Sometimes I lose slower than I'd like, or not at all. But I keep going, because the only way I'll fail is if I quit like all the other times.

    And I can't wait for your letter to Lane Bryant! I totally get it. I tell my family all the time - my trips to DXL were basically: 1) try on all the clothes I like and want to buy, 2) put them all back because none of them fit well, 3) Scour the store for anything I'm willing to wear in public, 4) Buy whatever fits well or go home empty handed. This is the first time in maybe a decade where I'm buying things because I like them, not just because the fit (which I still have to care about being obese at 238 pounds - but the selection and pricing is way better at this weight). Keep it up and I can't wait for your letter!


    sargemarcori wrote: »
    THIS!! I'm so looking forward to cutting up my Woman Within credit card once I can go get cute stuff at Target.

    In the meantime, once I lose another 20-30 pounds, I'll do a zoom through the Lane Bryant clearance section. I've noticed the smallest sizes are the ones that end up in clearance. Much to my past heartbreak, but future clothes-savings!

    So that's one kind of frustrating thing now. Most of my sizes are now apparently very common in normal sized stores - so I can't ever find the size I want in the shirt I want STILL. But the nice thing is now I just try on a similar shirt for size, order it through the store, pick it up a week later and a super cheap price. Also Target has really surprised me! So when I first went there (I thought that was a great cheap place to get clothes) they had like no Men's clothing. Seriously it's like a couple racks compared to every other section. But I love like 90% of what's on those racks! Definitely been a nice surprise.

    Looking forward to hearing about you cutting up your Woman Within card, keep it up!
  • JMC3Terp
    JMC3Terp Posts: 2,803 Member
    MargaretYakoda wrote: »
    Y’all are my people. ❤️
    I’m looking forward to thrift shop gold that fits. I was there before. It will happen again. And soon, I’m sure.

    Absolutely, I never liked shopping and now I'm so excited for it. It's summer here (like 90 degrees everyday) but I actually can't wait for fall and winter so I can shop again LOL.
    Lietchi wrote: »
    Plus sized stores are few and far between here, but I understand the sentiment completely!
    Just being able to walk into a normal clothing store (instead of having to order online) and not have to worry if I'll find something big enough.
    Choosing clothes that look nice instead of just looking for something that's large enough.

    I've been resisting the urge to buy clothes for a while now, happy with my weight loss and improved figure but not wanting to waste money because I'm not at my goal weight yet. So sticking to a small wardrobe of nice but cheap clothes for the few occasions I leave the house (thank you Covid, you saved me a lot of money :tongue: ).
    But I'm so close to goal and my resistance is crumbling, lol. The thing is, I'm so exstatic at fitting into mediums and even smalls (thank you vanity sizing) that I want to buy every item that fits! I'm currently trying to teach myself restraint. Yes, it fits, great. But will I actually wear this/do I need it? Does it look good? And is it my style? What is my style, anyway?
    I think it's a combination of Covid (spending all day in my pajamas :wink: ) and loving my new figure, but I'm way more into nice clothes now than I ever was, quite the journey of discovery!

    I swear you and I are the same person. So that's why I kinda wrote this the way I did. I could have just made a post that said "125 pounds lost and out of the Plus Sized Store Problem" and gotten alot of clicks. But I felt like this was a breakup of a beautiful but complicated relationship. I'm very grateful that I've had a plus sized store near me. I know not everyone is as fortunate. But at the same time, it hasn't been the easiest relationship.

    Also you are spot on with the waiting on clothes bit too. So I've lost 125 pounds and this is the first shopping I've done. I didn't want to spend a ton of money on a new wardrobe that I'd have to replace in 6 months or a year anyways. Covid was a huge help in that regard, but I also was a bit of a clothes hoarder who always thought he'd "lose weight and fit back into that" so I had smaller clothes. However, this is now the smallest I've been in almost 13 years and I'm going on vacation - so i couldn't stall anymore. But i still bought as cheaply and wisely as possible because I realize these clothes won't last me. As for your over purchasing, that's a huge concern of mine as well. Because I still want to lose another 80 pounds, I've been able to keep myself in check. But i'm afraid i'm going to buy out the whole store once I hit the weight/figure I like and don't have an excuse anymore LOL.

  • JMC3Terp
    JMC3Terp Posts: 2,803 Member
    justanotherloser007 wrote: »
    Right now, I am trying to deal with the ever elongating skirt problem. I feel like if I wait a couple of months and put on a skirt, yeah I expect there to be a little room in the hips/waist - but I did NOT expect every couple of months to have to take in the hem of every freaking skirt in my closet!
    .... I have been spending days doing this, and just when I think it is over and I can just wear my clothes and be done with it- they get longer! I am 5'3" and already a shortie. I keep wondering if I am getting shorter? lols

    I've had similar problems. I'm a bit short for a man (5'9") and I've notice some of the pants I already had are now longer. What happens is the wider you are, the shorter things are. But as you get smaller hips, butt, legs, etc (or same for shirts and your chest, stomach, etc) they clothing hangs lower because it isn't going as far "out" in those areas. It's definitely annoying for those of us who are short to begin with. I was looking at jeans for the first time in forever and notice they sell 34, 32, 30 and 29 length. I've always gone with 30 or 29 length but am now wondering if that will be problematic :neutral:

    Keep up the hard work, I totally get the point you are at. I have lost 125 pounds but honestly have another 80+ to go. It's tough. I need to be excited for my success so far (thus this post) but I have to also keep myself in check so I don't get lazy and derail. Congrats on all your success so far!

    coblujay wrote: »
    And can we talk about the stores that think we want flowered tents? I get so frustrated that many designers and stores think we aren't interested in looking good at any weight. A business suit in plus size...that was a struggle to find. And stores that refuse to carry plus sized clothes except online when other sizes are in the store? At least Lane Bryant has fashionable clothes that I can try on. Still...I'm on my way out of those stores too. I can't wait to buy in a regular store and to pick cute clothes off the rack at the thrift store. Bravo on your accomplishments so far!!

    How dare you want clothing that fits well and looks good LOL. I used to tell my family this all the time. At my size I wanted nothing more than to find some nice solid dark colors and look slimmer than I was and not draw attention. So i go shopping and what do I find? Lots of horizontal strips and tie-dye and other patterns that make me look bigger and scream "over here!". Congrats on being on your way out of those stores!

  • A_New_Creation
    A_New_Creation Posts: 180 Member
    Awesome work! HUGE NSV
  • Sand_TIger
    Sand_TIger Posts: 1,099 Member
    Once again, great work.... but one more thing. Not sure if guys have this problem as much but has anybody noticed that so many plus sized things are PRINTS? I just want plain solid colors. By the way - price comparison. I can now buy a simple black tank suit for $12. My spouse, who is considerably larger, needs to pay around $100 and it's almost impossible to find anything that's plain black.
  • wunderkindking
    wunderkindking Posts: 1,615 Member
    Sand_TIger wrote: »
    Once again, great work.... but one more thing. Not sure if guys have this problem as much but has anybody noticed that so many plus sized things are PRINTS? I just want plain solid colors. By the way - price comparison. I can now buy a simple black tank suit for $12. My spouse, who is considerably larger, needs to pay around $100 and it's almost impossible to find anything that's plain black.

    Yeah someone somewhere decided giant floral prints shaped like tents are what fat people want. They're wrong, but they keep selling because there is no alternative.

    I am now a size EIGHT on bottom and ten on top and I'm STILL and will probably ALWAYS be ticked off about that *kitten*.
  • sgs2021
    sgs2021 Posts: 6 Member
    I hear you! I get those catalogues from Lane Bryant, Torrid, and Roamans, and use them as kindling for my firepit lol!!! It feels great (and less expensive, you are right) to buy regular clothes in the regular stores. :)

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