How do i stop being afraid to live life?

ShaeSweetness

Hey all!!

Just looking for some input here. I’m 28, and im at an age where im getting invited to these events/parties that adults do. Either at a party, or bridal shower, baby shower, baptism and more. I’m desperately trying to lose weight but its devastating for me to go to these bachelorette parties or bridal showers or baptisms that ive been invited to lately and not indulge. Its like torture, sitting at a table sipping a water while your friends all eat delicious catered food. Basically what I’m trying to get out is, how do you guys still enjoy life? Or do you at all? I went to a bridal shower today and I indulged in the catered food and some sweets after but I’m already beating myself up about it. I’m already in a panic, I already stepped back on the scale just after the bridal shower and it was 5 pounds heavier and I got myself disappointed. (I know i should never do that). I just don’t know how to find a happy medium of enjoying my life or not enjoying and being miserable and losing weight. And also if I enjoy life, I’m trying to find out how to not beat myself up about it. If I have one bad day a week or two I just immediately think that everything is ruined and I’ve gained back all the weight I have lost and I should just give up. I have a very unhealthy mental relationship with food and I really wish I could break it. Any advice?

88olds

Part of the reason I took up calorie counting was to be aware of what indulgences I could have without blowing up my program.

First look at your goal and think about if it’s compatible with how you want to live. It’s not written any where that we have to lose weight.

If you decide you want to pursue weight loss and fitness then you need to have a livable plan. Weight loss is mostly about problem solving and persistence.

Try to start by sticking to facts. Avoiding sweets is not like torture. Find some other words. It’s uncomfortable maybe. It’s a drag. Hard. Tough. But torture it is not. When you go to social events have a plan. Generally just say no is the toughest plan. You can do better than that.

The overall purpose of weight loss and fitness is good health. The point of good health is to live better. Shutting yourself up socially isn’t better living.

boilerdawg2009

You're not feeling things any differently than any of the rest of us. Don't worry about what your friends are thinking when you're trying to do what's best for you. If they're true friends then they'll support what you're doing. My first go around at losing weight was largely successful, but like you I wasn't happy with the fact that I didn't feel I could eat anything enjoyable. What I'm trying to do this time is find a balance. I can't just eat whatever I want all the time because I know I'll gain all of the weight back. But I also know that I can't maintain eating low calorie foods and nothing else. So what I'm trying to do is eat healthy most meals, but every now and then allow myself something that I know I'll enjoy even though it might be too many calories. Balance is what I'm looking for.

I'm sending you a friend request right now. If you ever need extra encouragement, I'm happy to help!

MaltedTea

I've been in my feelings over seeing family all weekend. It's fantastically GREAT being with my favorite people on earth, especially since we've not been this physically close for so long due to the pandemic.

Food has been everywhere and people keep bringing more to my grandparents' home...in the midst of my grandmother cooking deliciousness non-stop. I think I saw her leave the kitchen twice since Friday morning 🤣

Why am I telling you this?

I'm not there to eat food. At least not primarily.

The main goal of social gatherings is to indulge in the presence of people I love and respect.

Yet, let's be pragmatic: you've gotta eat something lol

Do track your intake and exercise on social gathering days to the best of your ability. Maybe snap a picture of what you eat at the function then log in MFP later.

Try not to beat yourself up over what you log (or get too enthusiastic about it either): look at the numbers and question why the day went the way it did nutritionally...then take notes to do better the next time you are in a similar situation.

ITUSGirl51

Losing weight is a long term effort. The purpose is to live a better life. Don’t cut out food groups (been there done that) or it will make you obsess over those foods.

How much weight do you need to lose? What are your stats? How much exercise do you do and what is your daily calorie goal? How often are these celebrations? Once a week or once a month? If it’s once a month, that’s easy. I usually eat out and enjoy myself without counting calories once a month. I still lose 4 lbs a month. If it’s weekly, that’s harder, don’t pig out, but count the calories you eat while there. I’ve lost weight going on vacations and even cruises. Not while on these trips, but when I got back I start counting my calories again and the weight comes off in a few days and I started losing again.

I don’t go out to eat or buy fast food or take out. It’s hard to lose doing that. I do other things to celebrate. There is more to do than eat.

wunderkindking

I have lost 50-mumble pounds and am maintaining-ish now. Over that time I really didn't stop going out or indulging. I tend to log things out over a week and am for a weekly goal (with or without deficit, depending). This weekend I went to the fair and had a funnel cake, went out to dinner and had a burger, and went to the movies and ate nachos. I (probably) did not go over my calories to do so - and if I did it wasn't enough to matter.

The real thing for me is simply leaving the room in my calories for those times, and not getting hung up on being able to log them 100% precisely. No, I didn't' weigh and measure the mayo on my burger or know how much cheese was on my nachos, but that matters less than a rough estimate and knowing that I had left myself room for a fun weekend with friends, my husband, and food -- and that I had otherwise eaten pretty well.

Could I have lost faster without those? Maybe. Or maybe I'd have snapped a nd said 'screw this' and not lost at all. who knows but I'm happy where I am and I get to eat nachos.