Hallelujah! I am not a CHEATER anymore.

Hanfordrose

July 18th (one month and one week ago), I got the go ahead from Dr. Handsome Jack Yew to go on the preop list for my first knee surgery. It was truly a day to celebrate; but only an hour later, I was in tears.



It was my sweet but devious hubbie Ed (seen below) that had me crying.



Yep, it was his fault that I was heartbroken and in tears. :sad:

You see, Dr. Handsome Jack insisted that his nurse confirm my weight that day. I told her that I weighed 210.4 pounds; and she had written it on my chart. That was the truth...if I was naked. However, weights in the doctor's office are done wearing clothes. So, I was prepared for bad news and even told Ed, "I will probably be 212 pounds...or more." as I headed for the scale.

Ed and the nurse helped me from my wheelchair to the big, stand up scale in the hallway. The numbers on the digital panel kept changing, like the Big Loser scale. They finally stopped; and I was amazed to see 204.6 on the scale, an incredible 6 pound loss in ONE DAY...and I was wearing clothes!

I was out of my mind with joy and praising the Lord for the 'blessed gift', until Ed made a suspicious comment, while we were on our way to lunch. That's when I found out that Ed had put the tip of his shoe under the foot plate of the scale...just as he was helping me to get up on it for my weigh in.

I felt like a CHEATER! I broke down into tears and haven't been happy about any of my weight loss, since that day...because I had a 'false number'...a 'cheater's number' on my medical report. I even asked the nurse at my next doctor's appointment to change it; but she couldn't, because they didn't have a scale in that office to take a new reading. I was stuck with feeling like a 'cheater'...UNTIL TODAY.

Today, I can celebrate. Today, I weigh 204.4 pounds...0.2 pounds less than the number in my medical chart. Today, I am NOT A CHEATER ANYMORE! Hallelujah! :happy:

It had taken me a month and a week to finally reach that number. This has not been an easy month. Last week, I didn't lose even an ounce. I just sat on a mini plateau, waiting for the scale to finally reflect even the slightest loss. Part of me was still saying, "If I hadn't got that false number on my medical chart, I would probably having lost that 6 pounds by now."

That number set me up for many frustrating days. I thought that I would never get there. A lot of us set number goals that can become so important to us...maybe TOO IMPORTANT to us. We fixate on getting to a number. A lot of people hold up 'Onederland' (any weight starting with a ONE) as big number to reach. For me, Onederland is now only 4.4 pounds away; but surprisingly, it does not seem so important anymore. It certainly won't haunt me day and night, like that 'cheater's number' has done for the past month.

Have you got a number that is your BIG GOAL? Is Onederland coming up for you? Did you celebrate one number in particular more than any other? Have you sat on a plateau and felt like a failure, because the scale would not move? Are you letting a number define your success?

pwittek10

Great for you to reach that goal.
Keep on going.
You gain so much pride
when you reach the goals

aszwarc

I remember reading that post and how crushed you were. So happy that you've shown that scale who is boss!

LivingtheLeanDream

Fabulous post thanks for sharing. I have to say I have come across some of your blogs and you are one inspiring woman
keep up the great work, you are doing awesome!

darkestdayz

I have been sitting at 200 even for over a week now, so aggravating! So happy you've caught up!

Songbirdcw

Congrats! Maybe the accidental cheat motivated you even more to reach your goal. Either way, I'm glad that your medical record reflects your actual weight until you reach your next goal. I hope all goes well with your knee surgery.

joolywooly33

Well done - great attitude, think u and you hubby r soooooo sweet! Lol

Loasaur

My "Onederland" is probably around 150 pounds. I'm 5'7", so I feel like this is a "realistic" weight for me. I'm currently 175lbs. I started at 186. 25 more to go! I may stop whenever I feel "good" about how I look, also. :P Glad that you're almost at the goal you want! You should be very proud.

Hanfordrose

I have been sitting at 200 even for over a week now, so aggravating! So happy you've caught up!

I seem to have those 'mini plateaus' about once per month. They are so frustrating, especially when you are close to one of your goal weights. I do know, that is when I must stay faithful to my food plan and not start cheating out of frustration and anger.

The scale may not move DOWN right away; but it has no trouble moving UPWARD, if I give up and start binging.

Stay with it, Sis. You and I will both see Onederland very soon.

Hanfordrose

My "Onederland" is probably around 150 pounds. I'm 5'7", so I feel like this is a "realistic" weight for me. I'm currently 175lbs. I started at 186. 25 more to go! I may stop whenever I feel "good" about how I look, also. :P Glad that you're almost at the goal you want! You should be very proud.

I am only 5'4" tall, and my final goal weight is about 145. I am not currently planning on going lower than that. I am 68 years old and like the idea of having a little 'backup weight' on my bones. I don't want to be truly thin. I need a little padding, if I fall down. :laugh:

sugboog29

Congrats!! I've been stuck at between 178-181 for over a year. Doc said to lower my calories to 1100 per day. Right now trying 1150..working my way down from 1300. Best part is the scale is slowly starting to move! I'll take what I can get...I'm not picky and right now can't afford to be!! She, Doc, decided that my goal should be 155-158 so not much further!! Her original goal for me was 148 but she didn't like that number at my physical this year...ok by me!

Hanfordrose

Congrats!! I've been stuck at between 178-181 for over a year. Doc said to lower my calories to 1100 per day. Right now trying 1150..working my way down from 1300. Best part is the scale is slowly starting to move! I'll take what I can get...I'm not picky and right now can't afford to be!! She, Doc, decided that my goal should be 155-158 so not much further!! Her original goal for me was 148 but she didn't like that number at my physical this year...ok by me!

Keep up the good work, Sis. Like you, I am being carefully followed by my doctor, my surgeon and a nutritionist. That is why I can be on a 1,000 calorie per day diet without concern. My labs are checked regularly, and I take supplements. My age and my wheelchair bound life mean that I gain weight on more calories.

I am happy to hear that you have begun to lose weight again.

1longroad

Hip Hooray!!! So happy to see that you got to your goal of getting down to what your 'pevious weight' was!!! That is fantastic!!!!

piggyb73

Sue, I know exactly what you mean. I started this journey saying i'm just going to lose some weight and see how it goes, keep going until I feel good enough to stop. I slowly lost pound after pound and hve lost over 40 lbs so far.. i'm pretty happy with that. Then, I saw a "lose 10lbs in August" challenge and since I joined that my mind has been stuck, and so has my weight. since Aug 1 I have lost the same 3 lbs all month. the goal is to be healthy not achieve a magical number in our heads.
I'm so glad you got to your non cheating anymore number and can move on with an honest heart. (although you gotta admit, he is pretty special, that special ed:))

LouLoulost

you guys a sweet couple , I'm glad you feel honest it weighs a ton when your not honest and you are such a sweetie , gotta love Ed!!!

WDA4655

Hi Sue,

You've worked so hard to get to where you are now. That is a great feeling of accomplishment I'm sure. I've had a few mini platues but non long lasting so far. Special Ed makes me laugh. Though I think if John did that to me, I wouldn't be happy either. When you do thinks honestly you can feel good about yourself. So excited for you for getting on the preop list! Way to go girl! You made it!

I'm just glad that I came through that slump I had for 2 days when I wanted to eat everything. I know I'll have many more obstacles to get through but I've got a great support group here on MFP and I'm determined to get to the finish line alone with you and all my other girlfriends I have here. lol!!!

Thanks for the post. You are really making a difference here and you are very much appreciated and loved.

I know you have more to loose even after the first knee surgery and you will get there. I know what you mean about the "number". It can and has at times hunted me to on my journey. But I'm learning that the way I am feeling about myself when I look in the mirror and the way I feel physically (really good, not out of breath, not tired all the time, I can do do things I have been able to do in a long time and I can enjoy bike riding, taking a walk with my lovey, etc.) these are my focus now.

I've made small Onederlands so I don't get discouraged with the big picture, the final Onederland. I've met one and am on my way to the second Onederland which will be at 275. I'm 285.8 now. I am loving looking in the mirror. When we went to the wedding Saturday, I got so many compliments on how great I looked. I'm not use to that.

I can't wait to see my doctor. He doesn't know I've been doing MFP yet and he hasn't seen me since before I started MFP. I was suppose to make an appointment but then Shannon had the surgery and all that so I have to wait until we get back home.

Well, I proud of you Sister! You're doing a great job!

TC4IOWASTATE

So happy and proud of you! What an amazing blog today. Thanks for sharing that.

sarahthin

So glad for you that you have reached that number. I agree with you that we get stuck on numbers, be they weight, height, age or anything else that we can be catagorized by. When I set a weight and date to meet it invaribly I will go the other way. My goal is to be healthy, not a size or weight. When I get there I will be done losing, but living a healthy life.

alliemarie77

I was fixated on the # 50! I wanted to lose 50 pounds by the first of this year. When I didn't succeed in that goal I was devastated. I wondered why I'd even thought I could even accomplish a number so big in the first place.

It took me finally realizing that I couldn't keep focusing on how far I had to go for this to work. I had to instead focus on how far I had come. Look at all the things that I was doing that I couldn't do before. Look at the pounds I had lost so far, and realize that was a good start!

So, I got on MFP and I started over. I have now lost a total of 53 pounds with what I had lost before. When I seen that number I was shocked that it had come. 50 was just a number. I'm excited when I lose 50 pounds, but I haven't "celebrated" it. The biggest reward was when we went to a funeral. No one had seen me in quite a while, and the ones that had only seen me in baggy clothes. So I wore an outfit I had not fit into in a couple years. Everyone spent the day complimenting me, and asking me what I was doing. It felt great!

So, in the next 50 pounds I think it will just be a number. I will be happy to reach my goal, but I'm not setting a time limit on any of my goals.

TinaBaily

Congratulations! I can only imagine what a relief it is to realize your true weight now reflects a lesser amount than the doctor's weight chart said for you. I would have felt as you did. You are truly an inspiration!

My BIG GOAL is 120lbs. I don't know if I'll get there, as my appetite and my body seem to both want me to stick around the upper 140s/lower 150s this calendar year. That would be fine if I were happy with how my tummy looks, but I feel I have too much jiggle around my middle to be happy at this weight. Also, the BMI charts say that this weight is "overweight" for me, so I have justification for wanting to reach the middle of what would be considered "normal" weight for my height. I do keep exercising and logging my food, even if it's a day like today when I overeat and then some. It keeps me from putting back on more, at least.

lpina2mi

Congratulations. Your dedication will continue to bring you good news.