Lost weight, but feel no different.

Tgc05

I’m 28 yrs old, was very obese my whole life. A couple of years ago I went from 360lbs down to 220, and have managed to keep it off. Physically I feel better, can do things I never could before. Mentally I feel the same. I hate it when people I’ve known awhile make comments on how I look. Anybody else deal with this?

springlering62

I just own it these days.

Went to a home shopping party today, and the cute little sales lady asked me if I was familiar with the brand and how it fit. A couple of the ladies who knew me “before” got quiet.

I just looked at her and announced “TMI but a hundred pounds ago nothing in your line would have fit”.

Macked it off as both joke and an accomplishment and saved the embarrassment.

It’s awkward when people make a fuss, but tbh when people say something these days, I smile and carry on. It does happen less and less as people get used to it, the memory fades, and new people are introduced into your life who didn’t know you back when.

There’s always the crew that are going to talk about you as “you know, the one who lost so much weight”, but then again I discuss people as the one with the cute dog, or the ones in the brown house.

It’s like momma said when we were kids,”if you don’t let em see it gets your goat, they won’t bother you about it”.

JBanx256

Are the comments sorta...
"oh this is Adam, he used to be HUGE"
or are they like,
"dang Adam, I still can't get over how you look so freakin' great now man!"

I mean either way, if it makes you uncomfortable or awkward or makes you feel crappy, that's just how you feel about it, but I think the 2nd way might be easier to mentally work with? I mean something that is definitely intended as a compliment, as opposed to something that is possibly backhanded?

Are they people you are comfortable enough with that you could tell them it bugs you? Preferably not in front of other people (so they don't feel put on the spot & get defensive), but something like, "look I know you mean well but it just feels weird having people talk about my body."

Regardless, as a total stranger on the interwebz I'm gonna tell you good job & that you should be proud.

callsitlikeiseeit

ive lost over 189 pounds close to 200 now really (id have to add it up again). i used to weigh almost 400. not quite but... close enough.

my husband didnt know me when i weighed that much. hes only ever known me much smaller. hes seen the very few pictures that exist, and he says (and its true) that it is like looking at a totally different person. it doesnt look like me. not at all. same color hair, i guess. thats about it.

i know i look different, so, it doesn't really bother me when people who havent seen me in a long time comment about it or 'figure out' who I am with wide eyes. I moved to a new area several years ago, so now am in an area where no one knows, unless I tell them, that I used to be much much larger.

As far as do I still feel like the same PERSON? No, but there are many reasons as to why. The main reason is because I am in a much better place in my life. I am in a GOOD relationship. A HEALTHY relationship. I am not struggling financially. I do not have the other (significant) stressors in my life that I did back then. So I am an overall HAPPIER person than I was at that point in time. But my life has drastically changed. Weight is only a very small part of that change (though one could argue had I not lost the weight, would the other changes have occurred? But those are theoretical arguments as we will never know).

Be proud of your accomplishment. People mean well, truly they do. So many people try to lose weight, be it 10 pounds or 100 and don't or can't for various reasons, and seeing someone who successfully does it is always amazing to them. Especially large amounts of weight. Just smile say thanks and 'im still me man' and carry on with what you were doing. eventually the newness of it wears off and people get used to it.

88olds

The only thing we get from weight loss is weight loss. Some physical benefits are built in. But the nature of the world doesn’t change. Just how it is. Congrats on the loss.

MargaretYakoda

Tgc05 wrote: »

I’m 28 yrs old, was very obese my whole life. A couple of years ago I went from 360lbs down to 220, and have managed to keep it off. Physically I feel better, can do things I never could before. Mentally I feel the same. I hate it when people I’ve known awhile make comments on how I look. Anybody else deal with this?

Just yesterday someone I hadn’t seen in months came over and asked if I had lost weight. I answered, of course.

But I haven’t seen a lot of my friends much since COVID. So I posted to Facebook that I’ve lost a lot of weight, I’m OK, and please don’t make a big deal of it.

That will probably help in my case.

And yes. I hate when people comment on my appearance. Weight, hair, all of it.