Failure Rant.

MrsG1994

Why can’t I do this? Lose weight for good? I am that person who has tried everything! And everything HAS worked—for awhile. I feel so cliche that I eat for comfort. And the world is a freaking mess. It is for everyone, but everyone does not eat the whole kitchen over it! I am successful at literally everything else. I have worked through my childhood traumas—I will have to be on that forever, but I am not unwilling to face difficult emotions. I was an athlete my whole life. I can’t figure this out. I am the heaviest I have ever been and the most defeated I have ever been. I usually have a plan but I’ve got nothing this time. I just feel tired. And kinda desperate. Each day I feel like I am wearing a fat suit and it feels very uncomfortable and even hurts. But that’s not enough to make me stop eating. I am sober. I just…can’t anymore and I am not sure why. I am not a quitter. But this one has me legitimately stumped.

JBanx256

You're very correct in that the world is a freakin' dumpster fire. Is there something else you can do for comfort/stress release/etc? Something else to manage the emotional side of it? Basically substitute a "bad" habit for something more constructive?

88olds

Lose weight for good does not exist. There is no finish line. I’ve been maintaining for years but if I go back to my old ways, eventually I’ll go back to my old weight. It’s a fact, no one can weigh 150 lbs living a 200 lb life.

Do you count calories? Keep a food journal? I lost about the last 35 lbs of 100 on Weight Watchers. WW is really just calorie counting dressed up for copyright protection so they can sell it. But WW has a revolving door. People constantly hitting their goal, leaving, regaining and coming back. I vowed not to do that.

So I made goal and what WW calls Lifetime. So then I was in WW for free. So I never quit. Didn’t quit tracking, didn’t quit the meetings. After 5 years I quit tracking. I was running on habit by then. I eventually quit the meeting when we moved away.

But this. Then I moved to MFP. I weigh myself regularly. If I find myself gaining more than 2-3 lbs I go back to logging calories. It works. Part of the reason I stay on these boards is to remind myself that maintaining a healthy weight requires effort for me. I’m not going back to the old me.

If you don’t have a lot to lose you can probably diet your way to your goal weight. But if the changes aren’t long term, the weight comes right back. Just how it is.

Maybe this- my approach has been different than a lot of people. One thing I like about calorie counting is it tells me what indulgences I can have without wrecking my plan. I get comfort food and treats. But I control when and how much to make it fit in my plan. It can be done. Make a plan to start losing again and this time pay attention to how you are living. Keep asking yourself if the changes you are making to lose weight are something you can live with long term. If you wait for the world to get fixed you will wait a long long time.

aqua14lisa

@MrsG1994 While you cannot change the current mess the world is in, you can change you. When you worked through your childhood traumas, which is a very huge accomplishment, you probably did it step by step with a plan and possibly with help. Even though you say you've got nothing this time, you have already made a big step by coming to MFP! If one month at a time is too big, take it down to a week, or a day or an hour or a meal. Make a change to what you can right now. Maybe tomorrow or next week change something else in addition
Most of us have worn the fat suit, some of us still have it on. Yes its uncomfortable and it hurts. Just do one thing to help you and your body right now. Go for a walk or put lively music on and dance like no one is watching. Make one better food choice.
MFP can be part of your help now, meal by meal, day by day. Best wishes on your journey.

gorple76

I can relate to what you’re saying. I only have my own experience to share but maybe it will help. I felt really overwhelmed at the beginning of the pandemic (like many) and said to my partner that I felt a sense of rising panic and anxiety. He simply said ‘narrow your focus. Concentrate only on the things you can do something about’. It helped me immensely at the time and over the past few months I’ve applied it to my health. I’m getting older, I’m peri menopausal, and I have various symptoms associated with that (none of them severe but enough for me to notice). So I’m narrowing my focus and concentrating on what I can control - the food I put into my body and how much activity I get. I’m focussing on a few steps which enable me to manage my calories - logging everything (not lying to myself), weighing myself (not hiding from my weight) and writing in a journal every day (helps me unpick my actions, plan, talk myself into a positive place). I’m not setting a weight target or a deadline. Just looking for losses as the weeks go by with a general goal of getting into a healthy range. I can’t control/predict exactly when that will be so I’m not thinking about timeframes (it demotivates me). I’m keeping my focus narrow (a few steps each day and week) and not getting overwhelmed by the bigger picture.