I'm sublimating

blytheandbonnie

Okay. I started out strong and it worked very well... for a time. I've lost 52 pounds! I should be proud. I should be strong! I know what I need to do! But... I'm not doing it. I've started trading my food for booze and my booze for food and smoking cigarettes again. I'm very disappointed with myself, but I FEEL powerless to change. I would like to get help but I live in a very small town in a very isolated place. There are no therapists to go to. There is no AA. I really don't know where to turn. Is there self help out there? Something I can read, or study, or watch that will help me figure out WHY I am trying to kill myself slowly but surely? and help me figure out how to stop the ugly voices in my head?

qtgonewild

there are online aa meetings. Just fyi. also smoking? try nicorette? worked for me five years ago but sorry to say I've been addicted to the gum for five years lol. at least I can breathe.

awfuldaring

Google tells me that there are hotlines you can call when you get to this point. You can google "alcoholic hotline." I found one here http://www.crisishotline.org/content/ks-alcoholism.html

blytheandbonnie

Thank you for your help. I think, though, that you focused on the AA part. Alcohol is not primarily my problem, nor is food or cigarettes. It was pot before. My problem is that there is something deep inside that is prompting me to engage in unhealthy behavior. I need to figure out how to deal with my feelings... with myself. I'm going to check out the AA online thing, because I'm obviously dealing with an addictive personality and it should have some coping mechanisms I can use, but mainly I guess I'm looking for some worthy 'self-help' stuff that will help me understand why I'm doing what I'm doing and help me to work through it.

Taniagirly

Have you tried meditation? I find that for me it's smoking and for my husband it's drinking, but at the end of the day it comes back to one thing: STRESS! Try and deal with the stress and you might find find your need for these things is less. I doesn't have to be stress of paying bills or getting things done, many things can stress you, any emotional upset is considered stress and we look for ways to cope, and slip back to old habits usually (eating, smoking etc) I have quit smoking countless times in 15 years, but one argument with my husband and I'm in that car on my way to get some smokes ???? meditation helps with developing self control areas of the brain, as well as relaxing you and focusing your thoughts. 10 mins at night is all you need to see an improvement.

candylilacs

Sometimes we start sabotaging ourselves when things are going too well. There are a lot of books out there to read, including anything by Geneen Roth, as well as "The Heart of Addiction" by Lance Dodes.

Meditation can help, so can yoga, so can medication. I'd advise you to see a therapist if you feel you are getting "out of control". That's usually a sign that you are under a lot of stress and need some help.

dport7

how bout the local non denominational, faith based church in your town. Close to your home. Won't hurt to talk to someone there.

BeachIron

Thank you for your help. I think, though, that you focused on the AA part. Alcohol is not primarily my problem, nor is food or cigarettes. It was pot before. My problem is that there is something deep inside that is prompting me to engage in unhealthy behavior. I need to figure out how to deal with my feelings... with myself. I'm going to check out the AA online thing, because I'm obviously dealing with an addictive personality and it should have some coping mechanisms I can use, but mainly I guess I'm looking for some worthy 'self-help' stuff that will help me understand why I'm doing what I'm doing and help me to work through it.

AA will still help you deal with the addictive personality issues and help you learn how to cope with them. So many people there have similar issues, you certainly won't be alone.