Cognisant self-sabotage - how to avoid it...

cmriverside

In these past weight losses, did you have a group of like-minded people like this forum? It was/has been really helpful for me to stay plugged in here to keep my eye on the end-goal.

Lots of wisdom on these pages and good daily reminders.

Bella_Figura

cmriverside wrote: »

In these past weight losses, did you have a group of like-minded people like this forum? It was/has been really helpful for me to stay plugged in here to keep my eye on the end-goal.

Lots of wisdom on these pages and good daily reminders.

No - and I think that definitely contributed to my rapid reversal. This forum and the wisdom therein have been revelatory and invaluable this time around. Last time around I DID use the MFP tracker and food database, but I didn't participate in the community. This time around I've been much more immersed.

Its_laurel

I don’t know the reason for this, but I understand you completely.

I lost 75 pounds over 18 months. I kept logging for 18 months after reaching goal because I wanted to make sure I had a good feel for my maintenance calories. When I quit logging, I actually lost 5 more pounds because the uncertainty of KNOWING whether I had calories to spare or not caused me to undereat. But, I managed to maintain within 5 pounds for two years after that.

Then, injuries and rehab. Not being able to run. Gaining weight. More injuries and rehab. Knowing I needed to start logging again with such a change in my exercise calories. Not wanting to log. Wanting to be able to “just do it” on my own. Trying and failing. Beating myself up for knowing how to lose weight and not doing it. Eating all the stuff. Logging for a week. Stopping. Beating myself up again. Deciding to try to just get more active. Maybe that will work some. It’s a start. Eating all the stuff. Gaining more weight. Talking to my psychologist. Feeling good. Logging for a couple days. “See?, logging is not so bad.” Stop logging. Eat all the stuff. Beat myself up. Gain weight.

Three years of this and I’m not yet back where I started, but I am closer than I would like. I have started a weight lifting and exercise routine again. Routines are my friends. Habits are strong and I have lost all my good ones. It’s depressing how out of shape I am now compared to three years ago. I look at my exercise logs and the weights in them and feel bad while I do my starter exercises again. But, I have to start somewhere. I don’t understand the mental block I have against logging, All my recipes and foods are already in the database. It doesn’t take hardly any time, just a bit of give and take on calories. And, most importantly, it works, I know it works. I logged today and planned my dinner so I’d know what I have left for lunch. It’s something.

I hope you find an answer. I’d like to know it. When I was in the maintenance forum (back when I belonged there), someone said they knew how to lose weight. They just didn’t know how to make themselves care. That’s the key. I didn’t understand it at the time because I had my good habits and routines and everything was working for me. Now, I understand her comment. She’d been through weight loss four or five times. Find your reason for caring. I’m looking for mine.

cmriverside

@HappyCampr1

I really feel for you.

Injuries can be life-altering and nowhere is it more obvious than weight. I too rely on daily exercise. . .not so much for the added calories because they aren't that much but for the effect they have on my mood and how I view myself in the world.

I hope you find a way to keep exercising and keep coming back here for support and to read. It made a difference for me - especially when I was injured and housebound.

Speakeasy76

I think the only person who can really answer this is you, but you've been given a lot of great possibilities and examples from others.

Why do you think you are self-sabotaging? What else is going on in your life right now? Any other stressors? Of course, going through this pandemic has been stressful on everyone! How do you cope with stress? Are you aware of how you cope with it?

When you lost weight, did you truly accept that this is who you were, that you could maintain the weight loss? Or was there a little voice somewhere telling you that you'd gain it back, that this was only temporary?

One of my bad habits that self-sabotages is overeating snack-type foods at night. I think part of it is I may be tired so am eating to compensate and part of it is it's almost a ritual at this point, but I know part of it is kind of a stress-reliever for me. It's always crunchy, salty foods. I know I can set aside a portion and the put the bag away, but there's a part of me that thinks I "can't" do it. It's a matter of negative self-talk as well as not having a better outlet for stress at night.

cmriverside

That's weird. Now HappyCampr1 is @Its_laurel

Its_laurel

cmriverside wrote: »

That's weird. Now HappyCampr1 is @Its_laurel

@cmriverside Sorry. I changed my name. I had previously had the admins delete my prior posts (hence the low #) and just wanted a new start without losing my database and friends by starting over completely. Didn’t mean to confuse.