I have failed

SummerSkier

I know the op. 😎 My idea was for her to eat more to try get the binging under control for a month. The idea to not weigh for a period of time was also to change focus from scale misery and stabilize so fluctuations were not scaring her.

cmriverside

SummerSkier wrote: »

I know the op. 😎 My idea was for her to eat more to try get the binging under control for a month. The idea to not weigh for a period of time was also to change focus from scale misery and stabilize so fluctuations were not scaring her.

yeh, I understand some people are anxious about the scale but the way to desensitize against that is to keep stepping on the scale, not run in fear from it.

The weight-trending apps or even this site's Reports is a good way to make peace with the numbers. Yeah, I had some scale fear when I was 200 pounds but along the way to Maintenance I got over it and now I see all the numbers as data points, nothing more. Giving a number power over my mental health is not something I want to encourage nor obsess over and by letting expectations build up for a month could be way more dramatic emotionally than it needs to be.

Making the scale part of my daily routine also stops those big gains and allows me to see just how much I can fluctuate in just a couple days. Every pound is not a "permanent" pound.

wunderkindking

cmriverside wrote: »

SummerSkier wrote: »

I know the op. 😎 My idea was for her to eat more to try get the binging under control for a month. The idea to not weigh for a period of time was also to change focus from scale misery and stabilize so fluctuations were not scaring her.

yeh, I understand some people are anxious about the scale but the way to desensitize against that is to keep stepping on the scale, not run in fear from it.

The weight-trending apps or even this site's Reports is a good way to make peace with the numbers. Yeah, I had some scale fear when I was 200 pounds but along the way to Maintenance I got over it and now I see all the numbers as data points, nothing more. Giving a number power over my mental health is not something I want to encourage nor obsess over and by letting expectations build up for a month could be way more dramatic emotionally than it needs to be.

Making the scale part of my daily routine also stops those big gains and allows me to see just how much I can fluctuate in just a couple days. Every pound is not a "permanent" pound.

The way for YOU to desensitize from it.

Since we don't know everyone, we don't know what does and does not work and just how bad things are. More than one therapist - actual professional I know - recommends taking a break from the scale when it becomes too influential and only slowly adding it back when some distance allows perspective.

exposure therapy at the level of flooding is pretty much debunked for humans and animals for reasons. Namely that it very often does more harm than good. Continuing to do a thing that scares you with gritted teeth and hoping the emotion goes away would be what exposure therapy is. Actual desensitization involves a break, and then very limited controlled exposure that gradually builds while continuing to be exposed to keep reactions low, mild and manageable.

hiiamamie

Please don't look at this set back as a failure, but a lesson on your journey. Most of us have started again or have had set backs. You caught this quickly and are taking the right steps forward. You have learned and changed! I was listening to a Dr on a few tedtalks, the subject was about the chemicals and hormones in the brain - the few that enable us to lose, vs the many that want us to be at our heaviest. The battle is real. It was said on average it takes 3 yrs of maintenance to reset these chemical/hormones and that's just part of the the battle.
Great job with the self correction, now let's hear some positive self talk!

mylittlerainbow

hiiamamie wrote: »

Please don't look at this set back as a failure, but a lesson on your journey. Most of us have started again or have had set backs. You caught this quickly and are taking the right steps forward. ...
Great job with the self correction, now let's hear some positive self talk!

Thank you! I did weigh myself this morning because I want to make sure I'm heading in the right direction now, and I am. Not the huge drop I was hoping for from "recent/water weight" and other such mythology, but it leaves me hopeful that I have regained control early in the process and that I can get back to where I want to be. A bit wistful that I will have to be on guard the rest of my life, but when I start to envy "normal people", I also realize that a fair percentage of them are relatively overweight and I no longer wish to be in that group. So it will be work. I also admit that I didn't drink all of my water this week - one lingering piece of rebellion! - and will endeavor to do better from now on. I appreciate all of the continuing support.

As for Summer Skier, she does know me personally and was reaching out to me very specifically from her knowledge. I chose not to take her advice, but it did come from a place of acquaintance and was not randomly offered.

The anxiety when I went on maintenance a year ago is probably one shared by most of us: If the scale isn't going down, it most likely isn't going to hold level forever either but will fluctuate up and down, and can we all take that and try to live a more normal and relaxed life? (i.e., not on a perpetual diet or rigid eating plan) That is a psychological adjustment that I'm aware of and still working on. Thanks to you all again!

brenn24179

I dont think this eating thing ever gets easy. There are always temptations, vacations, life happening. Then there will be easier times. For me weighing every day helps. I think we have to remember what we did to lose the weight and then do that until we get back down to maintenance. I did good during the pandemic also but now having to do social stuff is hard. A group I just joined is going out twice next month, expensive restaurant also and I am going to have to decide if I want to do it, I am such a cheapskate, hate to get fat and poor. I know the answer is get a plan if I go.

SummerSkier

hahha @mylittlerainbow glad you are checking in and advice is always just that. I totally understand your choices.

Happy to hear things are beginning to turn for you. As for "normal" people I am not sure those are not unicorns.

csplatt

I just gained 7 lb in about 9 weeks. Time to take it off! I had a flare up of a back problem and I am going to be kind to myself about it. Can’t exercise, stress with my kids, ate too much.

dobber965

No more Failing--Success can come and will come but it takes one day at a time with the steps to accomplish the goals of the day in 3 areas of your life. Join me on this journey.. (Pineapple Life) Group started today. who doesn't need more friends striving for the same goals? Friend me for lots of motivation and check out/join the new (Pineapple Life) group I started today. This group will have a range of topics discussing the Pineapple Method--Physical, Mental. Social/Emotional needs of all of us to reach our full potential & goals. Inspiring one another, supporting with ideas, workouts, nutrition and meals, maybe even some love life chat--especially living & learning how to like yourself to loving yourself and your life. Learning and working to LIVE life---truly live. I have over 20 years of being a coach, educator, and motivational supporter. I am here to achieve my own health goals and would love to help others achieve theirs along the way. just click the join button for a new friend/group to help you reach your goals.. dobber965

BadgerBotts21

Nothing wrong with getting comfort from a treat to make you feel better. Try not to blame yourself. Buy a small treat every day. Track it and enjoy it. So many people treat themselves with a glass of wine every night. They don’t hate themselves for it. Instead they just stick to the one or two glasses and enjoy them and congratulate themselves for having self control. If having a Freddo frog or whatever every night gives you comfort go for it. Once you’re fully out of lockdown you may not even want it anymore. I have chocolate once a week every weekend. Take care xx

mylittlerainbow

Thank you. I do have a treat every day - I prelog the day's calories and see how many I have left for that, and then I'll have an Enlightened bar or 1/4 c unsalted mixed nuts or 3 sq dark chocolate or a brownie made with avocado and protein powder. It all fits into my daily calorie count. That is not the same as having such a significant binge that I no longer even want to log, which is where I was during that depression. Thank goodness I'm doing a lot better emotionally now and therefore under control with my eating and exercise again.

makethistimedifferent

First and foremost, reword what you're telling yourself. If you say you've failed, you'll live up to that. Assess what you are learning about yourself and your struggles in this time and make adjustments based on that.