Please remind me that slow and steady wins the race....

siobhanaoife

I've had exceptional success in the past with rigidly controlled dieting and exercise leading to rapid, substantial weight loss. But the problem is, when life's *kitten* hits the fan, I don't have the wherewithal to do rigid control. So I'm trundling along losing 200 pounds for the third time which I must say is tedious.

This time I am eating more food. I started north of 300lbs. Over 12 weeks I've lost 22 pounds. This... is a good thing, right? It's much slower than my previous weight loss experiences. But I figured it was time to try something new. However, the impulsive lizard brain keeps saying THIS IS SLOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

So, could y'all please tell my *kitten* lizard brain to sit down and shut up and be grateful?

Thanks in advance.

gorple76

Can you identify other successes to keep you motivated? Are you feeling physically better? Are you noticing any changes in energy levels? Are you feeling proud of yourself when you’ve eaten well for the day or turned down the extra cookie? I’m making a real effort this time (I’m a returning weight loser too!) to notice all of the ways I feel better living this way rather than the alternative. I don’t have any time goal and only the vaguest of weight goals. By defining my successes in other, more process-focussed, ways, I’m succeeding most days.

Lietchi

Hey, lizard brain, keep your mouth shut!

I don't know if it helps, but instead of comparing with your previous weight loss, perhaps compare to my weight loss? I lost 68lbs (so far) in 795 days, that's 0.6lbs per week. That makes your current weight loss look like speedy Gonzales!
And I don't regret losing that slowly at all. Time will pass anyway, so I just made sure I was going in the right direction. Time has flown by. And with my slow loss, there was the advantage of being able to eat more and still lose weight. And that's a huge advantage, I still love food and want to enjoy as much of it as possible!

dralicephd

I relate to this right now. Dear your lizard brain and mine: have a nice warm cup of shut the *kitten* up!

I'm trying to keep my mind focused on the goal of being healthy. I'm in midlife and I want to be healthy for as long as I can, so I'm making THAT the goal, not weight loss. Of course, I still want to lose weight as part of that goal. I'm just trying to shift my mentality so that the weight loss isn't the primary focus. But, I hear you. Some days are harder than others. Hang in there.

AnnPT77

I dunno, white-knuckled fast is a pretty good recipe if you enjoy repeated yo-yo-ing in weight, which is arguably - per research - just about the least healthy one of the available options. Seems like you've even personally demonstrated to yourself that extreme tactics correlate with future regains (but maybe not, I hope, bad health consequences . . . yet?).

I suppose one might get out of that cycle by something like working on finding sustainable habits that are durable enough to mostly persist through life's inevitable demands and changes in priorities, rather than picking methods that give that rush of quick "success" and related bragging rights, but require constant vigilance, self-denial, willpower, and other scarce/difficult things. But I dunno: Slow and steady habit change could be kinda boring and not yield any great stories to share with dieting friends for social bonding, so there's that.

All joking aside: 22 pounds in 12 weeks is great. Bonus points if you used eating/activity strategies you could imagine continuing forever (other than the sensibly moderate calorie deficit).

Maybe figure out a way for lizard-brain to get reward hormones, other than from scale results? From the fruits of habit changes, for example?

Food for thought: https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1275030/whats-your-most-recent-nsv#latest

JBanx256

I don't know if this will help/encourage at all, but your post called to mind this study:

Flexible vs. Rigid Dieting in Resistance-Trained Individuals Seeking to Optimize their Physiques: A Randomized Controlled Trial. Conlin et al. (2021)

The TL;DR is that there weren't significant differences between groups after the diet phase for any variable. HOWEVER - and this is a biggie to me - after the post-diet phase, the rigid group significantly increased their fat mass (the flexible group didn't). Also, the flexible dieters gained more fat-free mass than the rigid dieters.

But, as someone else already pointed out, you're making a ton of headway pretty quickly as it is. So, IMO, tell your lizard brain to hush

sarah12277

I'm with you. I've kept reminding myself that slower will keep it off. The last time with weight loss it was lower calorie and lots of binges all the way down - not good. I stopped doing what I had done to lose the weight so I of course gained it back. This time making the changes I'm willing to do for always. Small changes. Enjoying the food I'm eating. When I've thought I needed a diet break I did that too, especially if I'm already quite maintaining; just for the mental break at least. My incentive is due to health so I must make the changes.

missysippy930

Actually, the statistics show that, no matter how, fast/slow, or the diet you use, to lose the weight, within 5 years, the vast majority of people gain the weight back. Some gain even more back. It takes persistent effort, to keep weight off, longterm.

AnnPT77

missysippy930 wrote: »

Actually, the statistics show that, no matter how, fast/slow, or the diet you use, to lose the weight, within 5 years, the vast majority of people gain the weight back. Some gain even more back. It takes persistent effort, to keep weight off, longterm.

I think what is *helpful*, though there are no guarantees ever, is to spend a significant chunk of time during the weight loss process working on experimenting, finding, and grooving in long-term sustainable habits: Patterns of eating and activity (including exercise, if healthfulness is a goal) that are relatively easy, relatively enjoyable; habits that take a relative minimum of willpower to maintain.

Slow loss doesn't inherently make that happen. But fast loss makes that habit-establishment harder, because it tends to require extreme measures to fuel the speed. Because of that, it may foster a "this is just temporary" orientation, which isn't helpful. It may tend to encourage "hacks" and use of various weight-loss myths that will work during a honeymoon period better than they work long term.

Long-term weight management will be a lifetime pursuit, for many of us. It will for me. The question is whether cycles of "dieting" will be prominent in the picture.

Just my speculation and opinion. (Different strategies work for different people, of course, but that's still my perspective, as my own guidance. I'm past 5 years at a healthy weight, nearly 6; that's after 30 years previously of overweight and obesity. I've e some ups and downs in weight over the 5+ years, all well within the normal BMI range, all within one clothing size. Close enough to good, for me.)

russellholtslander1

As someone who also started well over 300 lbs., think about what your pace of weight loss is for a year. You would lose about 95 lbs., which even for a bigger person, is quite a large amount.

I have been in your situation.. 200 lbs.. that will take FOREVER to lose. That's a whole person. I was 361, and I kept giving up after 30 lbs., and gaining back weight, so it has taken me years. Finally, I just asked what works, that i could follow long term, and I am just focused on progress. One of my favorite quotes is " If you're walking down the right path and you're willing to keep walking, eventually you'll make progress. "

Now, I'm 256 lbs., and still making progress, but you have a choice.. worry about not losing FAST enough, and then get off the " right path ".. which has you losing almost 2 lbs. a week, or just stick to it, and be stunned in a year by how much you lose.

Whatever you are doing right now, is working, so just repeat.. stay on the right path, and the success will add up.. 44 lbs, in 24 weeks, 66 lbs. in 36 weeks.. sure you will slow down eventually, so it might not be the same every 12 weeks, but just keep making progress, walking down the path, and eventually you will get to you destination.

In the end, option 2 is rarely better. We quit what we perceive to be a mediocre plan, and end up on a plan where we stop losing, then regain. If you think.. this isn't good enough, ask yourself, what is option 2? What do you switch TO, and are you sure it is better? If not, then you are choosing to not have as much success.

So stop and think. You know it's working.. you just want the end to get here, and are aware it could take a year and a half.

The good news, and what you should focus on, is every 10-20 lbs. you lose, will make you feel a whole lot better. This isn't a 2 year, 200 lb. battle.. it's a month at a time, with rewards due to the 5-8 lbs. you lose each month. Better breathing, better mobility, better health, and the ability to do things you couldn't a month or 2 before.

Think of small goals, and hit them, and create successes that you can think about, while you are working through this. I tend to use physical goals, since I have congestive heart failure.. sure weight loss is important, but you are losing weight, to DO something, to be healthier.. one goal may be to look great at goal, but along the way, no one says.. Wow. I'm 280, look at me!! You will feel good for the loss, and will see change, but the successes I set, were things like walking to the mailbox, getting off oxygen, walking a mile, being able to play basketball with my friends. I lost 105 lbs., but my success is from what that has allowed me to do, not by the number on the scale. These goals can be tiny, and SHOULD be. You want to feel success a LOT, so you don't think as much about the big picture, until a couple of months from now, and at that point, the results should look pretty good, if you allow them to accumulate.

In the end, you feel like a huge success, with victories every few days, and you focus on that, until one day you stop, and realize while you were doing all this, and enjoying life, you lost 100 lbs.

If you think about weight loss every day, you will burn out.. especially if you might need 2 years to reach goal. That's 730 days, thinking about one thing. No one can do that. Even on a job, you get weekends and vacations.

When your plan becomes more of a chore than a job, we tend to quit. It's a relief just not to have to think about it for a few days, right? Then 2-3 weeks later, up 1 lbs., you plan a re-start, for the 100th time.

Why not just make the focus on other things, and just keep doing the plan, but focus on the things your weight loss allows you to do, so you aren't doing math calculations in you head every morning, or happy/sad, based on what the scale says. It's easy to think about it constantly, if you lose a lb. a day, but there are going to be days with no loss or gains, and if the process is not fun, when that happens, your brain will tell you to just stop doing this to yourself.

Keep doing the plan, remember to enjoy life, and just don't think about numbers for a while. They add up just fine, if you aren't thinking of them.. I have never gained weight because I wasn't focused on it. You KNOW when you are going to gain any significant weight, because you most likely made a poor choice. It isn't going to sneak up on you.

You won't gain a bunch, or lose a bunch over the course of a few days, but also, if you aren't thinking of it all the time, you won't quit, because it is tiresome.

22 lbs. in 12 weeks is awesome. Congrats. Just keep doing what you are doing.

MikePfirrman

Consistency is all that's important, both in losing and in maintenance. Your weight loss pace isn't the issue, it's why you've let yourself gain it all back twice before. That's too much hard work to throw away over and over. That's the deep dive you need to take, IMHO.

Pat yourself on the back for today.

RetiredAndLovingIt

Wow, that was so inspiring!! It makes sense for me, too, even though I don’t have a lot to lose.

missysippy930

I’m not trying to be “unhelpful”. I’ve actually gained all the weight back twice, and this time, I’ve actually passed the 5 year mark🤞🏼

Everyone is different and I can only speak for myself. A member of MFP for almost 10 years. First 6, under a different name. Four year anniversary just passed under current name. Lost over 1/2 my body weight at age 60. I just turned 70 last week. I lost a major amount of weight once in my early 20’s, again in my early 30’s and again in my early 60’s.

A MFP member gave me great advice almost 10 years ago, “Read a lot of advice, take what you think will work for you, and adapt suggestions that will help towards your ultimate goal”. It’s working for me.

lokihen

I've mentioned this on another post, but I'm losing at .5 lbs per week. I'm ok with this because I've never been able to maintain a loss and I'm learning how to eat sustainably now for the future.

Yesterday, I cleaned out all my too-big clothes and moved the next size smaller out of storage. For me, that is a milestone to celebrate, not so much what the scale shows.

kpforest25

fast off, fast on. fast on, fast off. slow is GREAT!!! congrats on taking this step again. you got this!!

AnnPT77

missysippy930 wrote: »

I’m not trying to be “unhelpful”. I’ve actually gained all the weight back twice, and this time, I’ve actually passed the 5 year mark🤞🏼

Everyone is different and I can only speak for myself. A member of MFP for almost 10 years. First 6, under a different name. Four year anniversary just passed under current name. Lost over 1/2 my body weight at age 60. I just turned 70 last week. I lost a major amount of weight once in my early 20’s, again in my early 30’s and again in my early 60’s.

A MFP member gave me great advice almost 10 years ago, “Read a lot of advice, take what you think will work for you, and adapt suggestions that will help towards your ultimate goal”. It’s working for me.

If you felt that my post was disagree with you, that was not my intention. My intention was simply to continue that sub-thread of the conversation, suggesting that in looking at the difficulty of maintaining weight loss, fast/slow might be less important than other aspects of tactics and strategies, such as learning relatively easily sustainable habits. Slow loss does IMO allow more opportunity for that habit development, but slow loss doesn't inherently guarantee it.

Those who aren't aware of it might be interested to read about the National Weight Control Registry (a long-term project studying people who have lost weight, maintained the loss long-term. (I'm not saying this research supports my speculations, or anyone else's points from this thread, nor saying it counters any of the points. I'm just saying it could be interesting for folks to read and think about.)

http://www.nwcr.ws/

RunsWithBees

siobhanaoife wrote: »

I've had exceptional success in the past with rigidly controlled dieting and exercise leading to rapid, substantial weight loss. But the problem is, when life's *kitten* hits the fan, I don't have the wherewithal to do rigid control. So I'm trundling along losing 200 pounds for the third time which I must say is tedious.

However, the impulsive lizard brain keeps saying THIS IS SLOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

So, could y'all please tell my *kitten* lizard brain to sit down and shut up and be grateful?

Walkywalkerson

I'm not sure that slow and steady does win t race -

missysippy930 wrote: »

Actually, the statistics show that, no matter how, fast/slow, or the diet you use, to lose the weight, within 5 years, the vast majority of people gain the weight back. Some gain even more back. It takes persistent effort, to keep weight off, longterm.

I agree with this.
Consistency and effort wins the race.
Actually it's not a race - life is going to happen anyway - that's how I look at it now.

wunderkindking

How about this?

Studies show that will power is a finite resource. So if you do anything you have to use willpower to MAKE yourself do, sooner or later it will fail. Always. This is a proven thing.

And that we all agree it's harder to do, er, harder things than easier ones.

So the EASIER you make weight loss, and the LESS will power you rely on, the more likely you are to be able to maintain it.

I have put just about zero 'effort' into weight loss. I have not substantially changed my diet. I have not been rigid. I have not had a huge deficit. I haven't even used a kitchen scale. I certainly did not start a structured exercise program - though my activity got higher as I was more able to do more fun things that excited me. I can't even say I've been consistent. ALL my calories yesterday came from: A cake, chips, and a candy bar (It was a bad day, I ate out of a vending machine entirely).

In fact, when the going got 'hard' and I was going to have to get 'strict with myself' and make bigger changes to see continued loss, I stopped - because this was, admittedly, at about 128 pounds instead of the 'ultimate goal' of 125' and my real goal was about 125-132 ANYWAY.

I'll live with 3 pounds heavier than the low end of my ideal range for "this is easy and mindless and zero effort".

YMMV