Diet = selecetive = rude

EyeOTS
EyeOTS Posts: 362 Member
in Motivation and Support
Does anyone else have this problem?: being on a diet means you need to be a little more picky about what you eat and what your portions are.

I feel like I'm being rude to family or the wait staff when I choose not to finish my food, but it's important to me to stop eating when I'm full or maybe be a little more selective.

Sometimes people completely understand.
Examples:
- Friend is making everyone breakfast burritos: I want mine without the fries or with more veggies. I was so glad when he was able to read the situation and OFFER those adjustments.

-We go to a fancy restraunt and I don't finish the polenta because the braised chicken, tomato and spinach were all FANTASTIC and the polenta was a little creamy so I ate less than half of it. The dish was absolutely something I would order again and tried to praise it to the waiter. I got the feeling she thought I was just being polite because I didn't finish it and didn't want a box for it.

I guess I was just wondering if anyone had any particular tricks or phrases to off-set social awkwardness when you have to be a little picky about food.

Replies

  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    EyeOTS wrote: »
    Does anyone else have this problem?: being on a diet means you need to be a little more picky about what you eat and what your portions are.

    I feel like I'm being rude to family or the wait staff when I choose not to finish my food, but it's important to me to stop eating when I'm full or maybe be a little more selective.

    Sometimes people completely understand.
    Examples:
    - Friend is making everyone breakfast burritos: I want mine without the fries or with more veggies. I was so glad when he was able to read the situation and OFFER those adjustments.

    -We go to a fancy restraunt and I don't finish the polenta because the braised chicken, tomato and spinach were all FANTASTIC and the polenta was a little creamy so I ate less than half of it. The dish was absolutely something I would order again and tried to praise it to the waiter. I got the feeling she thought I was just being polite because I didn't finish it and didn't want a box for it.

    I guess I was just wondering if anyone had any particular tricks or phrases to off-set social awkwardness when you have to be a little picky about food.

    Just take it home from the restaurant--even if you don't want it, if you're afraid of judgement.
  • fatoldladyonamission
    fatoldladyonamission Posts: 581 Member
    Having eaten out recently for a family birthday, I made a point of eating all the veggies on my plate first. This meant that by the time I got to the pub sized portions of mashed potato and a huge pie, I was already quite full. When the server collected the plates she asked if mine was alright as I’d left most of the pie, I’d eaten some of the filling but not the pastry so I just told her it was amazing but so much of it that I was full up. Said with a smile it was accepted the same way. I just think you need to be confidently friendly in your response. I wouldn’t bother taking home something that might be a temptation later though, I know if I’d taken the pie home I’d have been sorely tempted by the pastry! As it was though I just ate what I planned to eat and no more.
  • RachelElser
    RachelElser Posts: 1,049 Member
    As long as you tip well, the waiter 100% does not care. If you're that worried though, take it home and eat it later, toss it, or even freeze it for MUCH later. With friends, hopefully they know you are trying to lose weight and will be okay with it.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I waited tables for a couple of years...I can assure you the wait staff doesn't give two *kitten* if you've finished your food or not or ask for a to go container or just leave it. I served and cleared hundreds of tables and nobody has time to care whether or not you've cleaned your plate. Restaurant portions are huge and I'm not sure I've ever finished absolutely everything on the plate.

    Friends and family...IDK. I always just watch my portions more than anything. I don't recall any of my friends or family ever saying anything to me about it.
  • EyeOTS
    EyeOTS Posts: 362 Member
    If I'm being picky because of the diet, I absolutely make sure to tip well. I also order online as much as possible because written orders are easier than verbal ones. Like when you want something a little different from Starbucks.
  • earlnabby
    earlnabby Posts: 8,171 Member
    It is pretty much all in the attitude. The "it's me, not you or the food" approach goes far. When I am at a friend's house I usually say something like "I am trying to cut down a bit so a smaller portion (or leave off the fries) would be perfect". Complaints don't get very far, polite requests do.
  • goal06082021
    goal06082021 Posts: 2,130 Member
    At a restaurant, I promise you the waiter doesn't care and neither does the kitchen staff. They're literally not paid enough to give a *kitten*, which is a whole separate problem that is also not yours to solve.

    For eating at someone's house type situations, where they're cooking for you, it shouldn't be hard to ask for them to make yours ___ (a smaller portion, with extra veggies, whatever makes sense for you), if you aren't serving yourself. If your dining companions are the type who will guilt/force you to take home leftovers if you don't finish a plate (or even if you do, because meemaw only knows how to cook for 30 people at a time but eats for 0.25), once those leftovers leave meemaw's house it's not her business what happens to them after that.

    If the choice comes down to either you eat this food or it goes in the trash, put it in the trash. Your body is not a garbage can, don't treat it like one. The calories are wasted either way, but tossing it helps exactly the same number of people (that is, nobody) without hurting anyone (you).
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 12,073 Member
    When I eat out, I ask during ordering for a "half order of fries" or a "lunch sized portion" of pasta. If they bring less food to the table in the first place, there's less to eat or leave on the plate when full.
  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
    I used to fret about it a lot, and then I started observing people around me and what they thought about how much I did or didn't eat and -- SURPRISE! -- I learned that the PPP (Perception of Portion Police) was all in my head. Nobody around me--friends, waitstaff, family-- paid any attention.

    When I can, I serve myself an appropriate portion that I plan to eat. When it's out of my control, I eat what I consider to be a reasonable portion and then STOP.
  • nanastaci2020
    nanastaci2020 Posts: 1,072 Member
    edited October 2021
    At a restaurant, I'm a customer and paying for a service/product. It is up to me how much of that product I finish. I don't really consider what the wait staff thinks.

    For my circle of family, friends: I cannot think of anyone who would be offended if I did not eat everything offered, as offered.
  • goal06082021
    goal06082021 Posts: 2,130 Member
    Oh, I just remembered the other thing in the OP I wanted to address: for me, at least, I'm not "on a diet." This is just how I eat now, "diet" in the descriptive sense, not prescriptive. Saying I'm "on a diet" implies that at some point I will no longer be "on a diet," which is not true, because eating the way I used to do got me to where I am. I can't revert to old habits or ways of eating and not expect every pound I lost to come back, probably with friends.
  • wunderkindking
    wunderkindking Posts: 1,615 Member
    edited October 2021
    goal06082021 wrote: »
    Oh, I just remembered the other thing in the OP I wanted to address: for me, at least, I'm not "on a diet." This is just how I eat now, "diet" in the descriptive sense, not prescriptive. Saying I'm "on a diet" implies that at some point I will no longer be "on a diet," which is not true, because eating the way I used to do got me to where I am. I can't revert to old habits or ways of eating and not expect every pound I lost to come back, probably with friends.

    This is a weird one for me because yeah, I'm not on a diet.

    However my eating habits have had to change several times over loss, as my weight dropped and my activity level increased. I actually need 100 calories MORE to maintain my weight now than I did to maintain at obese, at this point.

    And those changes ultimately ended up coming basically full circle.

    Some of this is that my habits weren't truly terrible before, overall, and a lot of my weight was a combo of too many condiments with high calorie counts, and too many days where I went WAY over, but most of the things I cut out or switched to low calorie versions of had to *come back* for me to stop losing weight so fast.

    At this point the ONLY change is that I no longer have a once a week 'eat the whole party size of m and ms'.

    (This is off topic but I do think it's something people need to be prepared for the possibility of. Most people here are focused on loss but the switch to maintaining or deliberately slowing loss can be... strange.)
  • EyeOTS
    EyeOTS Posts: 362 Member
    You all are right about waiters and staff not caring. I'm over thinking that part for sure.

    It isn't JUST portion control for me though. If I start to eat a bagel and realize it is a little stale, I just toss it.
  • EyeOTS
    EyeOTS Posts: 362 Member
    goal06082021 wrote: »
    Oh, I just remembered the other thing in the OP I wanted to address: for me, at least, I'm not "on a diet." This is just how I eat now, "diet" in the descriptive sense, not prescriptive. Saying I'm "on a diet" implies that at some point I will no longer be "on a diet," which is not true, because eating the way I used to do got me to where I am. I can't revert to old habits or ways of eating and not expect every pound I lost to come back, probably with friends.

    I'm still calling it a diet because I'd probably eat another 250 calories or more when I go into 'maintinence' and 'lifestyle' mode.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    EyeOTS wrote: »
    You all are right about waiters and staff not caring. I'm over thinking that part for sure.

    It isn't JUST portion control for me though. If I start to eat a bagel and realize it is a little stale, I just toss it.

    I don't find that to be odd. I like eating good food. I'm admittedly somewhat of a food snob, but I've been that way long before I ever dieted. Calories aside, crappy food is crappy and I have no interest in wasting my time with it.
  • al0481113
    al0481113 Posts: 67 Member
    I don't really care about what people think when my order sounds "no salt on fries, no onions, no cheese, etc". But dinners at friends' houses are the disaster. It's hard to be polite when they literally make you eat everything they cooked 🙃 All the time I hear "You are thin, you need to eat ".🤪

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