Basically, I'm afraid to eat.

Allterrain_Lady

Yep! I'm not all that proud of the fact that I gave in to the "eat way less, you'll loose weight" kind of trend but I'm one of those...
I've been looking for THE website that would tell me that's ok to eat 1200 calories a day, regardless on my lifestyle or how much I work out.
I'm not that energetic, I get grumpy at times but I'm loosing weight so I don't seem to be able to convince myself to eat more. Because 1200 calories feel safe!

I've been crunching numbers in all possible ways to convince myself that it's enough.Even if every websites, everybody tell me that's not. For example, I've been pretending I can use GW as CW in order to find out my daily calories allowance.

I'm 32, 5.3ft, 165lbs(trying to reach 130lbs, I've already lost 35) and my BMR is more around 1415 calories/day. And I work, go to work and back walking (40 minutes each time) and swim for half an hour every other day.

I'm asking my body to function but I'm PHYSICALLY afraid of feeding it more than I currently do, wich is 1240 calories a day (number MFP gave me in order to loose a pound a week)

I don't think it qualifies as an eating disorder. More of a "social disorter": food is bad, suposedly.

I know I'm not the only one. I've read some stories on MFP about people who overcame this and I'm really impressed. Every single day, at bedtime, I promise myself that the day after I'm going to try to eat a little bit more in order to be healthy.
Every day, I postpone.

My new resolution for tomorrow is: eat my TDEE without workout minus 20% (that would be 1710-342= 1368 calories a day) and eat back my calories burned through workouts. At least, most of it. At least, some. At least, try.

What is it that we can understand the fact that eating is not bad per se? I wouldn't use my car without gas in it. I wouldn't let my computer perform very long without electricity. I wouldn't expect anyone to love me if I was treating them as bad as I treat my body sometimes.

I guess that, if I really was to up my calories, there would be some kind of weight gain the first days. I'm afraid of that.

So far I don't seem to be stuck in my journey but I'd like to be able to do this the smart way. Not the twisted way that's engraved in my mind!

I'd be really really grateful for any insight about this.

Thanks for reading guys!!!

Vanessa

asalembier

Try gently increasing your calories and you weight may go up a lb or two as it gets used to eating more calories, but you don't need to eat those calories on garbage foods. Eat more healthier fat foods like nuts, cheese. Lower your carbs as well, and using a lower carb, higher calorie diet you should be able to lose a lb a week without starving yourself

Loasaur

Depending on how long you've been doing this, you won't gain any weight by upping your calories (if you've been doing it for a short time). If you've been doing it for a longer time, then it would take a while for your body to adjust and you may gain some weight. If you really do work out that much everyday, you should really be eating more. You may be hindering your weight loss more than helping it by doing what you're doing. What you're doing right now works only in the short-term, after a while when you can no longer sustain a calorie limit of 1200 and go back (because it's so limiting) you'll end up gaining back all the weight you've lost doing that. It's not a long-term option. You don't want to be skinny and unhealthy, rather, skinny and healthy! So make sure you're going about your weight loss in the right way.

trogalicious

1. This isn't a site to get validation for 1200. Regardless if you think it's safe or not. Especially at 32.. and 165lbs.
2. TDEE method doesn't eat back calories. Read more on the method and how it can be helpful.
3. Eating under your BMR? You're gonna wind up creating forum posts like "WHY DOES THIS SUCK!?"... followed shortly by "Why is my hair falling out"... and eventually "Well, I'm back again and ready to try again."
4. It really sounds like you need to talk to someone about your relationship with food. The forums can be a very, very harsh place. We will tell you what is apparent to us, not necessarily to you. You shouldn't be afraid of food.
5. Your grumpy because you're probably not getting nearly the nutrients you need on a regular basis. Try eating, it'll certainly help the mood.



TL;DR? You're obsessed with 1200 calories and looking for us to validate that. No. I'm not going to... and none of us are going to be able to convince you of that... you basically said so yourself.

recoveryjunky

Honestly, I'm in the same boat right now but just a step ahead of you. I was on between 1300-1400 calories after I declared I wanted to lose weight (what MFP gave me) and I lost about 10 lbs BUT I just felt off. It wasn't bad, just off. I was researching and one website said my BMR was right about 1800! I did it in a few different places and averaged out the number. My goal is about 1650 right now.

Just FYI, I did gain some weight... I'm on my way back down though

_HeartsOnFire_

1. This isn't a site to get validation for 1200. Regardless if you think it's safe or not. Especially at 32.. and 165lbs.
2. TDEE method doesn't eat back calories. Read more on the method and how it can be helpful.
3. Eating under your BMR? You're gonna wind up creating forum posts like "WHY DOES THIS SUCK!?"... followed shortly by "Why is my hair falling out"... and eventually "Well, I'm back again and ready to try again."
4. It really sounds like you need to talk to someone about your relationship with food. The forums can be a very, very harsh place. We will tell you what is apparent to us, not necessarily to you. You shouldn't be afraid of food.
5. Your grumpy because you're probably not getting nearly the nutrients you need on a regular basis. Try eating, it'll certainly help the mood.



TL;DR? You're obsessed with 1200 calories and looking for us to validate that. No. I'm not going to... and none of us are going to be able to convince you of that... you basically said so yourself.

Listen to this guy. He knows something about something. He's lost 153 lbs. Oh and I've lost 44 lbs. Eat more food.

trogalicious

1. don't trust the initial setup that MFP provides. If you put in the wrong/inaccurate information, it'll tell you to eat an amount that may not be applicable.
2. Make sure you eat enough.
3. Figure out what works for you and is sustainable/healthy/long term.
4. avoid fads. don't buy in to any "Hey, try the twinkie and vodka diet"
5. Don't cut out anything now that you don't plan on literally giving up forever.
6. GET A FOOD SCALE. Weigh everything. No, seriously.
7. Get an HRM with a chest strap. You'll at least have a better idea of what you're burning. It'll be more accurate than the generic info in the exercise database.. and even more than the cardio machines.
8. Don't go balls out. You'll burn out. I see 300 lb people show up here, instantly start working out and cutting their intake SEVERELY... trying to cut out all of their carbs at once.. whatever. Take it slow. Figure out how much you need to eat FIRST in order to lose.. then incorporate exercise.
9. Don't cardio yourself to death.
10. Take the information on the forums with a grain of salt. A lot of people that have been here for a while.. and have been successful, may seem jaded. They give out GREAT advice day after day, only to be met with people that refuse to listen.
11. Eat real food. Not diet food. Not "low fat, sugar free, now without X." It's easier to get/find/count.
12. don't set time restrictions.
13. measure yourself weekly. Don't just weigh. Measure and take pictures.
14 BE PATIENT.
15. Avoid forum topics that have "1200" in the title. It's just full of butthurt. Lots of it.
16. This isn't a game, it's about changing your lifestyle. Do that.

pretty much that.

...and don't fall into the "1200 calorie" vertigo of suck because of:

the typical MFP users does this:
1. I wanna lose weight, let's try MFP.
2. OH! Wow, it tells me I can lose 2 lbs a WEEK? AWESOME!
3. I just sit at a desk when I'm not working out, I guess I'm sedentary.
4. MFP tells them 1200 calories, and they don't even eat that.. then they work out on top of it.. creating an even bigger deficit.
5. Lose a lot, fast, brag about 1200 calorie success.
6. Come back in a few months trying to figure out why they're dizzy, tired, not losing weight.
7. Get on the forums, ask why they aren't losing.
8. Get two responses (I eat 1200 and lose) (I eat 2200 and lose)
9. Argument ensues about who is right.

Now. That being said. These threads happen hundreds of times per day. Most times, and I mean really.. seriously.. 95% of the time.. people get the 1200 number because they don't put the right information in when they set up the account. There are a great number of people that are trying to help. I'm one of 'em.

I'm a hardcore advocate of actually finding out what works for the individual.. by means of other calculators, averages, time, practice, and patience.

Blanket prescriptions of 1200 calories "because it worked for me" is more harmful to the generic new user than the "figure out what you need to eat." Unfortunately, one is a LOT easier to type.

Find out what you need: http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/
Take the tips, links, and info above and make the cart more manageable.

there, OP. Seriously.

juliemouse83

I'm right there with you, and I have one week down of eating TDEE-10%. I ignore the scale (and by that I mean I don't get on it), weigh and measure everything, do my lifts every other day and have to work to not stress that I am eating too much. The common sense side understands that the numbers have gone up, based on how the clothes fit, and knows that is a common side effect of going from a steep-ish deficit and changing up my lifting routine to incorporate new exercises, and that its temporary; that it isn't fat because I'm still under TDEE. My paranoid side nags that I probably under estimated my exercise, that my TDEE is too high, therefore, my -10% is too high and I am going to wake up fat again one morning. That's when I have tell the paranoid side just to STFU, and trust the process.

I only have 10-15 pounds left to lose, and I didn't become almost obese over night, so I am not going to hit goal over night, either.

Hang in there and do what's right for your body!



ETA to add: What trogolicious said! Spot on and 1200 a day kicked my butt, and the people around me didn't like me, lol...hell, I didn't like me.:laugh:

glin23

I've been where you are. In a way I am where you are. Not at 1200, but scared to eat because I'm worried I'm going to become fat again. It's not healthy. Intellectually I know this. Emotionally, I'm scared out of my mind. I'm not going to advocate 1200. No ways about it. Your body needs to be fed to work properly. Going under BMR supposely makes it that way, at least if you do it for long enough. I get that you want to lose weight. Most of us do. But there is a difference between thin and healthy.

I'll give you an example. Today I'm going over my calories. With the glass of wine at my side, which is delicious, that drove me over my "limit" for the day. This is a long term journey. You want to be healthy in the long rn, so making good choices now is important. Don't be afraid of food. I know you're afraid of getting fat, but not eating is another way of letting it control you.

There is a balance.

_HeartsOnFire_

Try gently increasing your calories and you weight may go up a lb or two as it gets used to eating more calories, but you don't need to eat those calories on garbage foods. Eat more healthier fat foods like nuts, cheese. Lower your carbs as well, and using a lower carb, higher calorie diet you should be able to lose a lb a week without starving yourself

Personally...I do not believe in lowering carbs or calling foods garbage. You can eat food that you like, it's about moderation not deprivation. So measure everything.

Whatever changes you make you have to make them sustainable for your lifetime. Not just until you reach your goal.

I fell into the "only 1200 calories" bucket for awhile, I lost weight and then it stopped, because it's not sustainable, especially if you're working out. So fuel up! You're car won't go far on $10 of gas, neither will your body.

minizebu

What you need to wrap your head around is that your day to day weight fluctuations are almost entirely water.

Read "The Hacker's Diet" and try to understand his "bag of water" model. You simply can not get all hung up on the daily ups and downs. So what if you eat 1600 calories for the first time tomorrow, and you "gain" a pound. You will not have gained a pound of fat. You will have retained water, because your body replenished its glycogen stores. The following day you may be down a pound and a half. Again, it is water weight. Just chill and focus on the average weight trend, not daily weigh-ins.

http://www.fourmilab.ch/hackdiet/



Edited for spelling and to correct link.

twinketta

Vanessa I feel for you, really I do :sad:
It is so easy to be compulsive with the whole calorie/eating thing.

I started at 185lbs and eating 1200 cals a day PLUS exercise.

I put the PLUS in capitals because it is important.

It got me to where I wanted to be with my weight. I had a cheat meal here and there and took it slowly and have been maintaining for the last year.

My goal on MFP is 1560 now plus exercise cals.

You can lose weight on 1200 cals a day but take into account all / any exercise you are doing and add it and eat back those cals,

The whole idea is to be healthy and happy if it means eating those extra exercise calories each day then go with it. Nobody got fat from under eating, but they do get sick

FP4HSharon

Personal story... MFP put me at 1200 calories (sedentary setting, no exercise). When I exercise, initially I only ate back cardio calories and lost an average of 1.5 lbs/week. But when I tried not eating back any of the calories, OR eating back cardio AND strength training, then I either lost nothing or close to it. When I went back to eating back only the cardio (about 1500 total), then my weight loss went back up to about 1.5 lbs/week. So maybe it would help you to realize that if you up calories to a healthy level, it might actually help you lose MORE.

annakow

1. This isn't a site to get validation for 1200. Regardless if you think it's safe or not. Especially at 32.. and 165lbs.
2. TDEE method doesn't eat back calories. Read more on the method and how it can be helpful.
3. Eating under your BMR? You're gonna wind up creating forum posts like "WHY DOES THIS SUCK!?"... followed shortly by "Why is my hair falling out"... and eventually "Well, I'm back again and ready to try again."
4. It really sounds like you need to talk to someone about your relationship with food. The forums can be a very, very harsh place. We will tell you what is apparent to us, not necessarily to you. You shouldn't be afraid of food.
5. Your grumpy because you're probably not getting nearly the nutrients you need on a regular basis. Try eating, it'll certainly help the mood.



TL;DR? You're obsessed with 1200 calories and looking for us to validate that. No. I'm not going to... and none of us are going to be able to convince you of that... you basically said so yourself.

This and only this! .........100%

KANGOOJUMPS

EAT!!
DRINK!!
BE MERRY!

CantStopWontStop92

Hi there:) I can't say I've been there with the "scared to eat" mentality but I've helped plenty of friends get out of that so perhaps I can help. Take a step away from numeric objectives like scale value and caloric intake. At the end of the day, no one will look at you and go "hawt dayum, she must eat 1200 calories!". That's silly. But they will notice if you look healthy! And that includes how you feel, not just how you look. As you recognized, eating that amount affects your mood and energy level quite a bit. And that shows! So focus on what works best for you. I'm all legs at 5'6'' and eat up to 1600 calories but maintain at around 110lbs. So it's different for everyone, don't scour the interweb for the end-all-be-all answer.

So take a deep breath and take the plunge! Give yourself a grace period to experiment with nutrition/exercise habits that make you feel as good as you can. Healthy foods though! Don't go attacking the whole box of Oreos. Hope that helps a lil bit, feel free to PM me if there anything I can do to help:)

deksgrl

Your spleen called. It wants a peanut butter sammich and a glass of milk.

NRSPAM

If you try to rush weight loss by cutting more calories than you should, you will end up paying for that by gaining that weight back, and probably more so. Just got through doing that. I was approaching my goal weight, and wanted to hurry up and get there. Cut too many calories, exercised more, felt deprived, made up for it, gained 15lb's. Now I'm back here again trying to lose the 15lb's I gained back, plus the other 10 I was still trying to lose. We learn from our mistakes. You can do what you want, just make sure you learn from your mistake too, and don't give up because your plan didn't work....and yeah, you're probably grumpy because you're hungry!!! Lol

lindseydavis07

4. avoid fads. don't buy in to any "Hey, try the twinkie and vodka diet"

That diet sounds amazing! What website is that diet on?!?!

All Jokes aside you are 100% correct!

neandermagnon

okay, you know that 1200 isn't enough but you say that you feel that eating is bad or wrong.... IMO what you need to do is figure out where that belief comes from, and replace it with the truth... which is that eating is providing your body with the nutrition it needs to function, AND eating is enjoyable AND humans evolved to share food and enjoy eating as a social experience. in other words, eating is essential for humans at 3 levels... if you think about as though you're an alien studying humans, it'll make total sense that humans need to eat a) for nutrition, b) for enjoyment and c) as a social activity. if you can see it like that, but still find it hard to apply it to yourself, and can't replace that belief that "eating is bad" or "something bad's going to happen if I eat more than 1240 cals/day" with more truthful and rational ones, then maybe counselling will help. Sometimes these kinds of beliefs can be extremely deep rooted and it's not something you can just talk yourself out of in five minutes. Other times, you can get to the bottom of them and root them out by yourself without professional help... so try that first, but counselling is an option if you can't do that.

IMO it's not very different to the puritanical attitude towards sex, i.e that sex is for reproduction only and it's bad to enjoy it or have sex for fun. We know that sex is far more than reproduction, it's an expression of love, bonding, it's very enjoyable and people have a need for it that they want to satisfy.................. when people believe that food is for nourishment only and you should only eat the bare minimum necessary, and that eating for pleasure is bad.... well that's another form of puritanism. It's like society's rejected puritanical attitudes towards sex and applied them to food instead. And yes, in both cases there's such a thing as an unhealthy excess, you can wind up with obesity related illness in one case and STDs, unwanted pregnancies and broken hearts in the other case, but we should be intelligent enough to enjoy them responsibly, and no-one should feel guilty for enjoying them responsibly.

wanderingarcher

1. don't trust the initial setup that MFP provides. If you put in the wrong/inaccurate information, it'll tell you to eat an amount that may not be applicable.
2. Make sure you eat enough.
3. Figure out what works for you and is sustainable/healthy/long term.
4. avoid fads. don't buy in to any "Hey, try the twinkie and vodka diet"
5. Don't cut out anything now that you don't plan on literally giving up forever.
6. GET A FOOD SCALE. Weigh everything. No, seriously.
7. Get an HRM with a chest strap. You'll at least have a better idea of what you're burning. It'll be more accurate than the generic info in the exercise database.. and even more than the cardio machines.
8. Don't go balls out. You'll burn out. I see 300 lb people show up here, instantly start working out and cutting their intake SEVERELY... trying to cut out all of their carbs at once.. whatever. Take it slow. Figure out how much you need to eat FIRST in order to lose.. then incorporate exercise.
9. Don't cardio yourself to death.
10. Take the information on the forums with a grain of salt. A lot of people that have been here for a while.. and have been successful, may seem jaded. They give out GREAT advice day after day, only to be met with people that refuse to listen.
11. Eat real food. Not diet food. Not "low fat, sugar free, now without X." It's easier to get/find/count.
12. don't set time restrictions.
13. measure yourself weekly. Don't just weigh. Measure and take pictures.
14 BE PATIENT.
15. Avoid forum topics that have "1200" in the title. It's just full of butthurt. Lots of it.
16. This isn't a game, it's about changing your lifestyle. Do that.

pretty much that.

...and don't fall into the "1200 calorie" vertigo of suck because of:

the typical MFP users does this:
1. I wanna lose weight, let's try MFP.
2. OH! Wow, it tells me I can lose 2 lbs a WEEK? AWESOME!
3. I just sit at a desk when I'm not working out, I guess I'm sedentary.
4. MFP tells them 1200 calories, and they don't even eat that.. then they work out on top of it.. creating an even bigger deficit.
5. Lose a lot, fast, brag about 1200 calorie success.
6. Come back in a few months trying to figure out why they're dizzy, tired, not losing weight.
7. Get on the forums, ask why they aren't losing.
8. Get two responses (I eat 1200 and lose) (I eat 2200 and lose)
9. Argument ensues about who is right.

Now. That being said. These threads happen hundreds of times per day. Most times, and I mean really.. seriously.. 95% of the time.. people get the 1200 number because they don't put the right information in when they set up the account. There are a great number of people that are trying to help. I'm one of 'em.

I'm a hardcore advocate of actually finding out what works for the individual.. by means of other calculators, averages, time, practice, and patience.

Blanket prescriptions of 1200 calories "because it worked for me" is more harmful to the generic new user than the "figure out what you need to eat." Unfortunately, one is a LOT easier to type.

Find out what you need: http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/
Take the tips, links, and info above and make the cart more manageable.

there, OP. Seriously.

Thanks. This is exactly what I needed to read today.
Bless you as you continue demystifying MFP.