what to say to myself ?

saynow111
saynow111 Posts: 131 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
184 cm and born in 1990
after
124 kg in 2010
in a year i become 79 kg
then become mentally ill
my weight increased untill i become 134 in march 2020
then with the help of doctors i become in may 2020 114 kg
then i gained again
in feb 2021 i become 133.6 kg
now i m 124.7 :|:|
bad very bad self image , 31 yo single miserable sad person
all ppl want to see nice ppl in front of them ....i m not in good shape or self image
any advice is appreciated
any good strategy is appreciated of course
i did good job i lost 11 kg so far
thank you :)

Replies

  • saynow111
    saynow111 Posts: 131 Member
    all ppl have no mercy
    they only want see you in a good shape in front of them
  • Xellercin
    Xellercin Posts: 924 Member
    Do you have really good mental health supports?
    This, to me, is really the most important part.

    It's hard to take care of your body when your mind isn't in a good place. It's hard to be loving and kind to yourself, which is really what is needed for maintaining long-term health.
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    What would I say to myself??

    Ideally, I'd say:

    I can do this. I am worth it. Yes, it'll be a challenge and a new lifestyle but if WHEN I hit my goals I will feel 100% better physically and mentally. Remember when you were truly feeling fit, lively, confident? Let's get there again!

    I find that whenever my positive thought processes,(such as I can do this, I AM doing this, soon I'll be......)change to the negative talk(such as why am I bothering, this is too hard, I just can't keep this up), that's when I slip down the hole again. :( Even when I indulge I need to look at it positively as a learning tool and take something away from it that'll help me again.

    It's challenging BUT not impossible to stay on the healthy path. It doesn't have to be 100% all the time; you can enjoy indulgences and still lose weight. I was doing that very well until I lost my grip and let my emotions over rule my eating again. And for 2.5 months all I did was eat those emotions. This week, I'm finding my way back, one day at a time, to eating healthier foods and reminding myself how good I felt mentally and physically a year ago. I haven't started weighing myself again yet or logging. I will in the near future though because I feel those 2 elements were crucial in keeping me heading in the direction I wanted to go.

    You ARE worth it!! Gather your support circle around you, whether it's positive friends, medical professionals, online forums(hint hint MFP is great!) and set your attack up, make your plans and change your life.

    I don't know about you but my mental health seems to go hand in hand very strongly with my weight and self image. Sad but true. It shouldn't but it does. I am much more confident when I feel good in my own skin. Not to mention thinking about your future health and how working on it now will help prevent many issues in your future.

    Good luck to you and best wishes that you find the way that works for you.
  • saynow111
    saynow111 Posts: 131 Member
    edited November 2021
    Seffell wrote: »
    May I ask where you are from?

    Attitude towards weight differs greatly from culture to culture (I've changed 3 cultures in my lifetime).

    So the advice you're gonna get here may be to an extend inapplicable to you.

    all the word seem to be same
    i m from egypt btw
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    springlering62 wrote: »
    saynow111 wrote: »

    all the word seem to be same
    i m from egypt btw

    Not always true.

    As an obese person, I felt dismissed and occasionally disrespected while traveling in Europe - until the obesity epidemic appeared there, too. At home, frankly, I was just ignored. There were too many others like me.

    As a full chested woman, in the USA, I felt like something to be stared at, in a very uncomfortable kind of way. As a full chested woman visiting China, I felt like a goddess. Old men would bow and smile at me, in a very respectful manner.

    Having lost a substantial amount of weight on my last trip to Europe, I wasn’t noticed at all. Strangely, in the USA, now I feel like people notice me because of my thinness.

    We invest a lot of our own feelings about ourselves in assuming how others perceive us. Imagine if we invested that energy towards improving our view.


    I love this!! Such a wise woman you are. <3
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    I think some people, and to a greater extent, certain cultures, are more concerned with how others view them, than others.

    This... is not a problem I have ;)

    Even though I do not care what others think of me, I DO notice the difference in how I am treated or observed, now (thinner) as opposed to when I was much much heavier. especially when I am NOT with my husband (funny how that works LOL)

    All that said, BE KIND TO YOURSELF. Find your support system. Be it in professionals, in family, in friends, in online support groups, in forming friendships here, whatever your 'tribe' is... find it. And, as spring said, focus more energy in focusing on YOURSELF, than in worrying about what OTHERS may or (most likely) may NOT be thinking about you.
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »
    I think some people, and to a greater extent, certain cultures, are more concerned with how others view them, than others.

    This... is not a problem I have ;)

    Even though I do not care what others think of me, I DO notice the difference in how I am treated or observed, now (thinner) as opposed to when I was much much heavier. especially when I am NOT with my husband (funny how that works LOL)

    All that said, BE KIND TO YOURSELF. Find your support system. Be it in professionals, in family, in friends, in online support groups, in forming friendships here, whatever your 'tribe' is... find it. And, as spring said, focus more energy in focusing on YOURSELF, than in worrying about what OTHERS may or (most likely) may NOT be thinking about you.

    You brought up an interesting thought for me. I know once I felt within normal(?? whatever that is)or even thin weight, I felt confidence I seriously lacked being 80-100 lbs. heavier. So I'm sure I portrayed that in my personal interactions in my life. I'd smile more and strike up conversations with strangers at the store, etc. I felt happier so exuded happiness easier. So was, in turn, treated differently. Maybe that was your experience as well? Just wondering.

    I know it shouldn't bother humans what other people think of them because, looking at the overall picture, most people don't matter one iota in our lives. That's in the ideal world. But growing up, hearing those heart wrenching names being thrown out at me from complete strangers, such as fatso, chubby, thunder thighs, you(general you not you you :)) know them all....it definitely made me seek out that proverbial wall to be a fly on instead of putting myself out there to tolerate embarrassment. :( I'm just sharing my own history here and has little to do with OP or the direction of the thread but your post resonated with me and the way I used to feel.

    Have a beautiful day everyone!
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »
    I think some people, and to a greater extent, certain cultures, are more concerned with how others view them, than others.

    This... is not a problem I have ;)

    Even though I do not care what others think of me, I DO notice the difference in how I am treated or observed, now (thinner) as opposed to when I was much much heavier. especially when I am NOT with my husband (funny how that works LOL)

    All that said, BE KIND TO YOURSELF. Find your support system. Be it in professionals, in family, in friends, in online support groups, in forming friendships here, whatever your 'tribe' is... find it. And, as spring said, focus more energy in focusing on YOURSELF, than in worrying about what OTHERS may or (most likely) may NOT be thinking about you.

    You brought up an interesting thought for me. I know once I felt within normal(?? whatever that is)or even thin weight, I felt confidence I seriously lacked being 80-100 lbs. heavier. So I'm sure I portrayed that in my personal interactions in my life. I'd smile more and strike up conversations with strangers at the store, etc. I felt happier so exuded happiness easier. So was, in turn, treated differently. Maybe that was your experience as well? Just wondering.

    Possibly, but I've always been an actor and performer, so .... it's a switch I flip when I'm out (I'm an introvert by nature, though you'd never guess it LOL)

    Though even when the switch is 'off' I get 'approached' or notice 'looks' whereas 'before' I did not.

  • Strudders67
    Strudders67 Posts: 989 Member
    @saynow111 Reading your post, above, you lost 20kg between March and May 2020 with the help of doctors. That's 44lbs. In 8-10 weeks. Yikes! The maximum that MFP allows people to select is 1kg / 2lb a week. Whilst you may have had medical support, you presumably didn't learn anything in the process that would help long term.

    You've lost 11kg, with 9kg of that being lost in the last 9 months. As I just said to you in response to another post, that's great and you really should feel proud of yourself. You did this yourself. Congratulate yourself. You've shown yourself that you can do this, you want to do it - so keep plugging away. Slowly is better than too fast. You learn portion sizes, you learn what keep you feeling fuller for longer, you learn how to eat balanced meals that you like and you're less likely to crash and binge.

    You could lose at a slightly faster rate, or you could keep going as you are. Slowly but surely, your weight is going down and that's an achievement. Every time you find yourself thinking that you're a miserable sad person, take a step back and remind yourself that you're now doing something positive towards changing yourself.

    Are you able to exercise? That doesn't have to mean going to a gym - take yourself for a walk each lunchtime and/or evening and try to build up so that you walk a little further or a little faster each time. Do some weight training too, perhaps using tins of food or bottles of water as weights, to start toning. As well as being good for you anyway, exercise helps to increase happy endorphins.

    Could you set yourself goals and rewards? Not with a time-frame, but perhaps a promise to treat yourself to something when you lose another 5kg, a promise to 'do' something when you've lost 10kg etc. Give yourself something positive to work towards.

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