Things People Say to You When You've Lost Weight....

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I just wanted to see what other people have heard that they think was a 'good' comment that someone said.

For some back story here...I lost ~30lbs beginning in January of 2020, with most of it happening before August of that year...I got back into running basically and logging my food - I'm maintaining now and trying to be more of an intuitive eater and not logging really most days. Still running...and running goals are now my focus. Also, I'm 5'3" so 30lbs *looks* like quite a lot on me. There were people even thinking I'd lost like 50 lbs...and I was like, nooooooooo miss ma'am.

Anyway, so I had tried to prepare myself for when I came back (I work in a school so really co-workers didn't even see me from our Spring Break to August bc we went remote)...but I still didn't feel great with all the attention/comments? Like, I mostly got "OMG, you've lost so much weight!" comments which isn't bad...but someone actually asked me if I was sick. Like straight-faced, said, "You lost a lot of weight didn't you?" to which I sheepishly said, 'yeah' -- to which then they said, "Are you sick?"....and I didn't even know what to say. Like.....1.) I worked hard to do this and 2.) DO I LOOK SICK? I don't have to tell any of you how body image can be really f'd up -- and a comment like that is just as bad as calling someone fat or commenting.

So, the other weekend I ran into a friend/acquaintance that I also hadn't seen in person for a while and she said to me, "You look really happy!"....and I can't even begin to tell you how that made me feel ---- great, obviously. I think it was a way for her to reference my weight loss but not focus on that and focus more on the surrounding stuff she noticed. I'm not saying you have to lose weight to be happy but I thought it was a great thing for her to say.

So anyway - I'm sure that there's always an awkward time when you run into people and they don't know what to say, and usually don't want to make anyone feel bad about their past selves, or current self...so what are some things you think are good to say to people or people have said to you that you felt were good ways to comment. Or would you prefer no one comment at all?
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  • NYPhotographer2021
    NYPhotographer2021 Posts: 509 Member
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    My aunt asked me if I was sick when I had lost weight before. It sucked. This time around, people have been very encouraging. If you can't be encouraging and positive, don't say anything. Anything other than that is demeaning to the person. Maybe they are jealous, or just thoughtless.
  • ToffeeApple71
    ToffeeApple71 Posts: 117 Member
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    I've had a range of comments. From "you're looking really healthy" to "have you had weight loss surgery"....hmmm. was I unhealthy before? and nope, it took two years but you just didn't notice until we came back after a break.
    Can't think of anything I've liked people saying. I'd prefer them not to comment at all I think.
  • scarlett_k
    scarlett_k Posts: 812 Member
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    I'm of the mindset that people should keep their thoughts on other people's weight to themselves, unless invited into a conversation about it by the person in question.

    My next door neighbour must have spent a year every time I saw her only commenting on how much weight I've lost. Thankfully I don't see her very often as I don't especially like her, but it did start getting to me that was the only thing she could say, not even how are you or some other casual conversation.

    My sister in law commented I'd lost half of myself and how she'd gained half of herself. Which I didn't really know what to say so just smiled and nodded and moved the conversation away. I'd only lost about 10 kg since I saw her last and i didn't even notice she'd put on weight.

    People don't comment when you put weight on and it's just as rude in my opinion to comment when someone loses weight.
  • watts6151
    watts6151 Posts: 905 Member
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    When deep into a fat loss phase I’ve had a few customers, who I may not have seen for 6 months
    Have a quite word as ask me if I’m terminal 😂

    My face tends to take on a thin gaunt look and can change dramatically over a fat loss phase
  • shazland
    shazland Posts: 63 Member
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    Usually I get "you look well" or my friend likes to say "you're looking skinny".
    I'm such a yoyo dieter people are used to me fluctuating and usually don't say anything anymore 🙃
  • Cj833
    Cj833 Posts: 10 Member
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    Most people have been pretty positive to me, and tactful, I've lost almost 40 pounds now and I'm 5'2ish so it shows. I've had a few customers who hadn't seen me for a while and were like "WOW you lost weight!" I think it depends on tone when that feels like a compliment, or makes you uncomfortable. What I don't like is most people asking me if I'm on a diet, I try to explain to them no I'm just trying to eat better, not diet. My boss commented saying he thought I had lost weight and went from being encouraging about it to saying "I hope you're not hurting yourself in order to lose it" which made me just not want to talk to him anymore.
  • korimak0
    korimak0 Posts: 249 Member
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    The thing is, people who are losing weight due to illness often look very different to people who are losing weight due eating and exercising well. I know when I lost 5kg by accident due to illness last year, it looked VERY different to how my weightloss looks now. The gaunt face was one clue (although maybe this is different for different people?). I'd rather people comment about how happy/well I'm looking, rather than specifically weight.

    Interestingly, I have a friend who has a much chubbier standard for atractiveness. And he was actually upset when he lost weight due to eating healthier. And he was more upset that everyone seemed to congratulate him, when he LIKED his previous weight. So yeah.
  • wunderkindking
    wunderkindking Posts: 1,615 Member
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    korimak0 wrote: »
    The thing is, people who are losing weight due to illness often look very different to people who are losing weight due eating and exercising well. I know when I lost 5kg by accident due to illness last year, it looked VERY different to how my weightloss looks now. The gaunt face was one clue (although maybe this is different for different people?). I'd rather people comment about how happy/well I'm looking, rather than specifically weight.

    Interestingly, I have a friend who has a much chubbier standard for atractiveness. And he was actually upset when he lost weight due to eating healthier. And he was more upset that everyone seemed to congratulate him, when he LIKED his previous weight. So yeah.

    I think whether you look differently mostly depends on how much weight you lost and how you, individually, lose weight. There is definitely a very general 'not well' look when people are really sick, but frankly I looked ILL for a while and I wasn't super obese (barely into obese per BMI) when I started and my fastest lost ever was about 5lbs a month. Why did that happen? Because I lost weight from my face and around my neck pretty early on and the skin went droppy - and I still had plenty of fat literally everywhere else. Once the skin in my face and neck readjusted some it got better but I looked... not healthy for a while there. Gaunt face, wrinkly skin, and still big around the torso? YIKES. (IT GOT BETTER).
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,988 Member
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    I once told my doctor, "I've lost 20 pounds!" to which she replied, "Was that intentional?" which I found odd at the time, especially given my tone of voice, the fact that I still had a lot of weight to lose, and that I wasn't sick.

    I have a new primary with whom I am meeting for the first time today. I plan to tell her I've lost 35 pounds this year and see how she responds.
  • amberisthecolorfyourenergy
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    I REALLY hate when someone tells me "Keep going!!" -- I mean what if I am content with where I am? It's not a compliment at all to me.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,071 Member
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    I've been guilty of asking the wrong questions and/or saying the "wrong" thing.

    I don't like it when anyone comments on my body in any way so I've stopped making those comments...and I'll definitely never ask a woman if she's pregnant ever again. Poor naive younger me. :no_mouth:
  • dontlikepeople
    dontlikepeople Posts: 142 Member
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    I get hit on by older/larger women when I'm staying fit. It's weird. I'm not the world's best looking guy, so when I'm putting off my fitness vibes it's apparently enough for women to cat call me. It's always awkward, but I always smile and thank them.

    I don't mind the weight loss comments from friends and coworkers, I think I more mind the "supportive comments" from other exercisers. Particularly while running. "You can do it!" .... please leave me alone, I know I can do it, and I am obviously struggling, lol.