Hello from the pits of despair

CreatureofHavoc
CreatureofHavoc Posts: 1 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hello good people of Myfitnesspal. I have been struggling with eating and weight since I was a pre-teen. I've gotten to my goal size several times but keep piling it all back on (and then some!). Right now I weigh more than I did being 9 months pregnant :( None of my clothes fit anymore, and they literally hurt my body by digging into the flesh. I am desperate and scared to start over, because, based on my experience, I'll end up even heavier next year. I feel hopeless, looking for a new approach to end the trend. I dont recognize myself in the mirror. Just feel awful about myself, and all I want to do is isolate and just eat sweets for comfort. I brought this up to my physician and she suggested intuitive eating, but that wasn't helpful. I have a high stress life with 2 kids, a job, and husband working nights, so I'm pretty much on the go between 5 am and midnight. I dont get rest on weekends either - my husband is either away working or sleeping in till noon. I am sure others have it much worth, but it just seems I get no breaks, and keep stress-eating because it's the only selfish pleasure I ever get these days.

TLDR Not sure I have any hope left in losing weight. Help!!

Replies

  • JBanx256
    JBanx256 Posts: 1,479 Member
    For starters, please tell me the "pit of despair" was a Princess Bride reference?!?

    Next...you're in the right place. Have you ever logged/tracked your food before? Get yourself a good set of digital scales and start weighing EVERYTHING. I mean, if it passes your lips, weigh it and log it. That's the only way to know your intake. Once you know your baseline, you can start making some tweaks and get on the right track.

    Do you feel like "sweets for comfort" is your biggest downfall? Would it be possible to make some adjustments to your "sweets"? Eg, instead of cookies or cupcakes or whatever, some Greek yogurt with fruit and cinnamon (and maybe a drizzle of honey)? Do you find yourself reaching for the sweets after dinner or throughout the day? Gum, flavored water (Mio, for example), HOT tea, brushing your teeth etc, can all pretty much kill it for me (because really, who can eat anything rich after you just brush your teeth, yuck!)

    Do you have family/friends/mom-group you can maybe rely on, even if just for a couple hours here and there, to give you a break and let you have some "me time"?
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    Don't know, but if you've lost several times and always put it back on, I'd say you aren't learning as you're dieting. MFP teaches you to lose weight gradually and understand what a portion size is for you. As Banx said, get your digital food scale and start weighing and measuring. Stay within your daily goal and try to be consistent and have patience. Learn as you go and build good habits. Start learning how to maintain before you get there. There are many threads running with good ideas. This time you want things to be different.
  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
    Whew! you've got a lot going on-- no wonder you're stressed!

    Begin by giving yourself some grace. If beating and blaming myself was an effective motivator, I'd be queen of the world by now.

    So let's take stock of a few things that should give you some comfort and offer you some self-grace:
    • YES, you've got real stress in your life. It doesn't sound like the stress is going away any time soon, so maybe focusing on some stress management techniques like mini-affirmations/ meditations on the potty (you do still find time to pee, right?), just ONE thing you can do to reward yourself that isn't food (fuzzy socks? a new $3 hair clip? a book or magazine even it takes 6 months to read?) learning some self-coaching (hey, there, honey, what are you FEELING--because you know it isn't hunger, so food isn't going to fix it . . . so let's just walk away from the pantry and figure out how to just feel this feeling instead of trying to stuff it down with food, ok?)
    • You've taken a BIG first step by saying something. Sometimes the hardest part is what I call the "spiral of shame"--I eat because I feel bad about myself, which makes me feel bad about myself for eating, which makes me eat because I feel bad about myself. You spoke up and you reached out: that's the first step to stopping that cycle.
    • YOU'VE HAD SUCCESS! You can do this--and you KNOW you can because you've done it before. Yeah, you've backslid, but I've gone up and down the scales so many times, I've earned "frequent slider miles." Take comfort in that! All is not lost (but it can be ! :-) )
    • You're human. It's human to feel sad, it's human to feel angry, it's human to feel overwhelmed. Give yourself permission because it's human to just . . . . well, FEEL.
  • PigOnStilts
    PigOnStilts Posts: 1 Member
    I’ve started tonight as well, I have over 75lbs to lose and yours is the very first post I’ve read on here. I totally get it and how overwhelming it can become.

    My issues started with health problems, I had an injury and was immobilised then developed arthritis which made me hobble around very slowwwwlyyy for a couple of years. My confidence and self discipline are rock bottom.

    It’s great that you recognise the root cause of your issues - I’d say start by tackling that maybe?

Categories