Starting again

brandirose123

How does everyone stay motivated? I've started a billion times and after a week or so I lose all motivation. I want to be healthier but I feel I can't get through this motivational block!

goal06082021

Motivation is the reward, not the impetus.

What you need is discipline. Discipline to do the thing even when you don't want to is the key to success, because as you well know at this point, this isn't a process that's going to take only a week, no matter what Woman's Day tells you.

So you put in the work, day in and day out. You weigh your food, you log it, you stick to your budget. You move your body, as you're able, and choose food to eat to fuel those movements. You do that for several weeks, and as long as you have your budget figured appropriately*, you will see results, whether on the scale or in the mirror. Let that be your motivation to continue.

(*A note on this: figuring out your personal calorie needs is a process that necessarily requires some trial and error, and that will necessarily take more than a week to dial in, on both sides of the CICO equation. On the CI side, the database is full of bogus entries; there is a learning curve to finding accurate entries or using the Recipe Builder/Meals feature to log home-cooked foods, as well as weighing/measuring everything if you aren't used to doing so yet. On the CO side, any calorie calculator, including this one, is going to be making estimates based on broad population averages - your specific human body is going to deviate from that to some degree, and some people deviate quite far from the average for someone of their age, height, weight, and sex. There is no direct way to measure an individual human person's daily calorie burn; even if you have a wearable device of some kind that purports to track calories burned, it's making an estimate based on your heart rate and your age/height/weight/sex as reported to the app. It is necessary to start with what MFP gives you, and gather data for several weeks - at least two menstrual cycles if your body does that - and see if your weight is changing in the expected direction and at the expected rate before you should start tweaking anything. For women especially, our cycling hormones play hell with water retention, which can make for some wild-looking scale data.)

rosebarnalice

For me, it involved patience, self-honesty, and adaptability.

The patience was about making mistakes, not expecting perfection of myself, and having realistic expectations (no, I'm not going to magic away 10 lbs a week in a healthy way.)

Self honesty was the hard part that took me a while. I had to examine why I had failed so many times before, and what it came down to was a seriously effed up emotional relationship with food and eating. Wow. Learning to recognize my psychological eating behaviors, triggers to those behaviors, and strategies to deal with them was a biggie.

Adaptability meant taking the long view, and time to develop an eating style that is healthy and sustainable for ME. Turns out that a high volume/high veg plant-based approach with the occasional blast-out for cocktails, microbrews, and cookie-fests works for me.

Turning food prep into self-care rituals-- shopping for produce at a farmers market, making and logging my lunch salad while coffee is brewing, planning and building a beautiful casserole on the weekend that freezes well before a stressful work week.

A weekly instead of daily calorie budget is also good for me. If I have a high cal day (don't like the term "cheat day"- 'cause who am I cheating except me??), no biggie: a couple of lower calorie days will balance.

JBanx256

Cultivating discipline and habit will carry you much, much further than relying on motivation.

callsitlikeiseeit

people do things every day they don't want to do.
work, chores, errands, paying bills, dealing with difficult people in their lives they are obligated to for one reason or another... We don't WANT to do these things, but we do them. Every day.

This isn't any different.

I truly believe the reason most people give up (lose motivation) is because they make it too HARD and have unrealistic expectations. They come up with or choose a food plan (diet) that is over restrictive or an exercise schedule that is too regimented. Usually a combination of the two. Add in expecting to lose 'X' amount of weight within 'X' time frame... well, many set themselves up for failure.
But when you (a collective you, not you specifically) realize you can lose weight without giving up any of your favorite foods or food groups (barring medical conditions), that you don't HAVE to exercise (you SHOULD, but for totally different reasons), that you can enjoy vacations and holidays and birthdays and eating out... and STILL lose weight? It's a game changer.

YES, you have to learn to eat less. But that's IT.

You can add more in to complicate it, yes. But at the end of the day, all it is... is eating LESS.

Eat less, move more. It sounds so simple, doesn't it? And it is.

Weighing and logging your food becomes as automatic cleaning the kitchen after dinner. It takes awhile to get into the habit, and for it to BE habit- but that's true of ANY new habit.

You learn what foods keep you fuller, longer. You learn eating out will result in the scale going up, but thats it's not permanent. You learn if you are over your calories on a day, it's not the end of the world, or even a blip on the map.

And if you are patient, and consistent, you can achieve AMAZING results. But no one other than you, can make you be patient and consistent.

AnnPT77

I'm a skeptic about motivation, but also someone who' not all that good at discipline. I lost weight anyway, and have kept it off for 6+ years.

For starters, don't try to make it fast. Try to make it easy.

Do things that are practical for you to do.

Eat foods that you like eating.

Increase movement in your life by moving more in reasonably enjoyable ways. That can be formal exercise (but even that needn't be miserable in order to be effective). It can be other things, though: Playing with kids, dancing to the radio, walking in the park, etc.

If you do choose to exercise, don't devote so much time that you mess up your good life balance. You still need time and energy for job, family, friends, etc. Start slow and easy, maybe just 2-3 times a week, with rest days between. As you get fitter, you can increase duration, intensity or frequency to keep a little bit of a challenge, but good life balance. Chose exercise types that are reasonably enjoyable, in locations that are convenient and affordable.

Maybe think of it not so much as "trying to lose weight" but instead as "experimenting to find new, happy habits that will gradually bring you to a healthy weight, and keep you there permanently". Just make changes in a practical way over time, heading in a positive direction.

Don't define foods as "good" or "bad". You need balance in your overall eating, not just nutritional balance and reasonable calories, but also enjoyment and practicality, among other things.

Even more so, don't define yourself as "good" or "bad" depending on whether your plan is working well or not. If it's not working, adjust the plan and go on. Just. Keep. Going.

This is not some kind of epic battle between good and evil. Being overweight is not a sin, so we don't need to suffer to expiate it. Drama is optional. Being miserable burns no extra calories, is stressful, feels bad. Don't go there.

You can do this. Just start, make adjustments to plans when needed, don't stop.

KMorales0713

For me, it’s about accountability and having back up. Especially for those days I feel like quitting. Lately, I’ve given up. I need an accountability partner! If anyone wants to help a sister out lol 😂

Cosmogal17

I am restarting myself I have a closet full of clothes even 20 pounds off will put me in them hardest part for me is mindset

abfillingame

I’m restarting and what you said resonated with me, feel free to add me and we can check in with each other. I know I am overeating and my first goal is to just log what I eat no matter what it is.

metaphysicalstudio

This is a great question, and I love reading through the responses here. For me, staying motivated is not something I could ever force with ideas like "just have stronger willpower." Motivation, I have found, is cyclical, it comes and goes and looks different at different times. Embracing the changing nature of motivation is like accepting the changing nature of all things in a human experience, for me. There is strength and positive encouragement in THAT. I have been able to use that knowing to aid me in reaching my goals, and it's made a huge difference.

brandirose123

These responses are great! I suppose I really do need to work on the discipline part of it. Thanks for everyone's input.

Goddess_Atalanta

I can totally relate to starting a billion times! One thing finally made all the difference for me and now I've been in my fittest-ever body for more than a year... and still improving!

It was: my motivation changed from self-hatred to self-love.

In the past I thought I needed to lose weight to be more attractive to men, to meet some standard of conventional beauty; my motivation was coming from a place of self-hatred. So of course when deciding to eat something or not, it felt terrible to tell myself, "You don't deserve these calories", "You will never find a good man if you eat this", etc. and my mind naturally rebelled against the restriction.

But I started getting into pole dancing and it was awesome: fun and freeing. I really wanted to be able to climb the pole and do different moves, so that became my motivation instead. Now when deciding to eat something or not, it was more like, "Will this help me accomplish my goal to climb?" and "Will this food really make me feel happy or will I be sluggish from the carbs?" So my motivation is now coming from a place of self-love, a desire to take part in an activity which I enjoy and to feel good in my body.

Remember, motivation from self-love is a thousand times more sustainable than from self-hatred and feels so much better!

AlexandraFindsHerself1971

I have arthritis in my feet. Every pound I lose is that much less pain, and that's a tremendous motivator for me to keep doing what I'm doing. I look forward to my goal weight and how much better I'll feel just getting out of bed then. All I have to do is to keep doing what I'm doing.