Lost weight? You Liar!

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2

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  • Jozie236
    Jozie236 Posts: 47 Member
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    IMO, you should tell your brother and sister in law that you are by the disbelief regarding your weight loss, that you have been working very hard to change your lifestyle, and that you will see them next summer.

    Honestly, what they might have meant is that they didn't think you needed to loose that much weight, so they are expecting pictures of you as a skinny-minnie. I think you should take that as a compliment, meaning you are so pretty that you look great even at your heaviest. BUT, don't send them any pictures so you don't get any negative feedback that you really don't need. We all know how hard it is to loose. Keep the webcam, it was a gift. I doubt they will be brash enough to directly ASK you for photos, and if they do, say you'd rather not share photos of yourself b/c you are hurt.
  • MakeLifeBright
    MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
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    IMO, you should tell your brother and sister in law that you are by the disbelief regarding your weight loss, that you have been working very hard to change your lifestyle, and that you will see them next summer.

    Honestly, what they might have meant is that they didn't think you needed to loose that much weight, so they are expecting pictures of you as a skinny-minnie. I think you should take that as a compliment, meaning you are so pretty that you look great even at your heaviest. BUT, don't send them any pictures so you don't get any negative feedback that you really don't need. We all know how hard it is to loose. Keep the webcam, it was a gift. I doubt they will be brash enough to directly ASK you for photos, and if they do, say you'd rather not share photos of yourself b/c you are hurt.

    True, I will not send them any pictures.. but I will post some on here . To show before and after of what I have done so far.
    Thank's again every one for your response =) I really appreciate it
  • 623Hernandez
    623Hernandez Posts: 458
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    Wow, No you are not taking it the wrong way. Your family loves you the best way they know how to. They are excited for you that you lost the weight and want to be part of your journey. Your family sounds a lot like mine, a bunch of negative Nancys! They don't know how to express themselves any other way. They can only describe negative things so if they don't have much to say then you know you are doing really really really REALLY good! Or if they harp on what you still need to lose then they are proud of you and want you to keep up the good work. It is hard to translate this type of behavior into something positive but I know if you really try you can find the love in all their meanness. lol I hope you know what I mean. If you need a translator I will gladly help! :) Keep up the hard work and I am proud of you too!
  • khk2010
    khk2010 Posts: 451 Member
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    Sometimes people don't want you to change. Or maybe she is jealous?
    Keep reminding yourself of how great you have done with your loss. Tell yourself how great you feel and how much more energy you have. 60 lbs! WOW!
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    Don't worry about your family. Who are you doing for. . . Them or yourself? Just keep going forward and keep getting into shape!
    Exactly!
  • batty5
    batty5 Posts: 193
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    Families are often like that & perhaps they feel you put them to shame & make them feel they should be making some life changes but currently don't have the courage to do it. You can always play a trick & wait til you have lost the extra weight before using it. We cannot choose our families & sometimes it is good that we live far apart but at least you got a present out of this!
    Some people find it reassuring to have fat friends & family, slim people may seem a threat to them right now so take heart we all know how amazing you are & so does your family & that frightens them a little cos who knows what you will achieve next. You go girl.
  • CFaye
    CFaye Posts: 59
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    you know, thats crazy, because my family was the same way. Well, when I was 50 pounds smaller, (due to drugs and alcohol and stress) all they would say is how good i looked, and pretty i was.. and I felt awful, depressed. and ugly. I was living the worst life... and they said i was beautiful.. here it is, i am not abusing my body with drugs, alcohol or stress, and i weigh 50 pounds more. I hear no compliments.. but i am so happy and feel so healthy right now... Its nuts. I am glad i am more confident to know better, that I dont need their approval.... but i am sure they just would love to see your progress.. 60 pound weight loss is a big deal!
    Congrats on your weight loss!... take care.
  • Beleau
    Beleau Posts: 143
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    My goodness...that is messed up...this is not about them but about what you want...you are doing fantastic in accomplishing a healthier life style...

    B
  • travelgirl09
    travelgirl09 Posts: 151 Member
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    You need to just stay focused on your goal! You are not losing the weight for anyone but yourself. You don't have to prove anything to anybody! The next time they see you they will see the new skinny you. They will then proceed to talk about how they hope you can keep it off, etc. They will watch what you eat, if you workout and everything! Do not let this distract you! Some people are happiest whey they are miserable and they want others to be that way too. It is painful to see that family can be so cruel, but the fact is, this is how they always have been, you have just not noticed it. They can be jealous and petty, but you cannot let that hinder or take away from your great accomplishments! I'm sure you have other family members that will be genuinely happy for you. Focus on them and like everyone here has said, WE, your MFP family will always support you and never judge you! Keep up your great work! :)
  • youngs
    youngs Posts: 250 Member
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    I am so sorry that your family of all people are acting like this with you ..they should be as happy as you are about all you have achived and know that you are doing yourself and your family a blessing by knowing that you are making yourself a more healthy person..I belive if I was you I would hook up the webcam and hold up a picture of you before to them and then show them you know and then unplug it pack it up and ship it back with your own kind word to them of how you was hurt by them not beliving in you! I am always here to help and show my support to anyone who needs it..heck I need support and encouragment myself even though I have a wonderful family that are behind me 100%..I would just like to send you a big hug and tell you to keep up the wonderful work that you have been doing and to keep beliving in yourself..You can do this and you are..just remember that it is all about you and you being happy..its not for anyone else...keep on moving and smiling dont let them get you down!
  • Families_R_Forever
    Families_R_Forever Posts: 630
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    If they have not seen you in 3 years...maybe they need a pic of you at your highest to fully appreciate how you look now. Maybe make an online postcard of a before and after pic...I know they will see the results. However they should be more supportive.
  • kspeach
    kspeach Posts: 179 Member
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    I don't really feel like my family is supportive either. (mom, brother) My brother judges based on 'size', so I don't really care too much. If someone doesn't like me simply because I am a size 18 or 20. And my mom made SUCH a big deal out of it when I was there in May.....she had to tell EVERYONE that we saw that I was on a diet. I know deep down she's ashamed of having two overweight daughters. I wasn't asking for special foods or anything. And it wasn't even part of a conversation. Plus, the fact that she complains about being a size 6 right in front of me bothers me.....

    Oh well. No, I'm not doing it for them, but it would help for them to be supportive!! I think my other sis (not my mom's daughter...long story) is being much more supportive....thankfully! Plus two of my best friends, my best cousin, and my husband and sons....that's my support group. :) And don't forget my friends on MFP! :)
  • EboniA
    EboniA Posts: 181 Member
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    You need to just stay focused on your goal! You are not losing the weight for anyone but yourself. You don't have to prove anything to anybody! The next time they see you they will see the new skinny you. They will then proceed to talk about how they hope you can keep it off, etc. They will watch what you eat, if you workout and everything! Do not let this distract you! Some people are happiest whey they are miserable and they want others to be that way too. It is painful to see that family can be so cruel, but the fact is, this is how they always have been, you have just not noticed it. They can be jealous and petty, but you cannot let that hinder or take away from your great accomplishments! I'm sure you have other family members that will be genuinely happy for you. Focus on them and like everyone here has said, WE, your MFP family will always support you and never judge you! Keep up your great work! :)
    I agree with this comment completely!! Stay the course. Part of keeping the weight off is dealing with the emotional issues of life.

    Since you didn't exactly ask for their feedback, you could always ignore what they really say and pretend they are saying the nicest things. Like if they say, "no you didn't lose weight" and you say "thank you so much for your support, I knew you would be proud of me".
  • weaklink109
    weaklink109 Posts: 2,831 Member
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    When your family or anyone else makes a comment like your SIL did, the best way to handle it, for your own emotional well-being is to consider the source--then IGNORE them!!!

    YOU are the most important person in the world to please, and YOU are the best one to take care of you. :flowerforyou:

    As for the camera, I am voting for the suggestion to sell or return it (if you can tell where it was purchased) and get something to reward yourself. If it were me, I would not consider keeping it, even if I needed it for other reasons, as it would always remind me of a negative event that I am better off not dwelling on.

    Congrats, by the way, on your success!!:drinker: :drinker:
  • Jessica68
    Jessica68 Posts: 2,419 Member
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    I read your post twice and I only got out of it that your sister in law is jealous you lost weight and put her husband up to the idea of sending the webcam because she cant BELIEVE you lost that much weight and wants to SEE you. And maybe she felt THIS way would make it seem like "we miss you" and would l like to communicate this way - but I feel she only wants to SEE you. She's jealous. Thats my opinion.
  • MakeLifeBright
    MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
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    WoW I did not know this many people would Respond!!
    How amazed and thankful I am to every one here, for their positive words to me.
    Thank you Thank you Thank you!!
  • msmonarae
    msmonarae Posts: 30
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    Crazy....I can understand how that would hurt...."Make your Haters your Motivators"
  • Nina74
    Nina74 Posts: 470 Member
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    Don't they say-- "You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family." Entirely so in this case! I'm sorry you are going through this and I agree with one other poster- sell the webcam on Ebay and buy something nice for your skinny self! Tell them you never figured out how to use it!

    60 lbs is awesome! Congrats!
  • leavinglasvegas
    leavinglasvegas Posts: 1,495
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    Hmmmm. We might be related.:laugh:

    The best advice is to ignore it and let them see you next summer while they spend the rest of the year doubting you. But don't give in and use that camera for what they want. And don't give any more details. Let 'em sweat and then enjoy the success next summer.

    There are several fun things that come to mind about the camera.

    1. Smash the crap out of it and mail it back with no explaination. They will get it.

    2. Sell it and use the money to buy a hot new outfit. Then take a photo of you in said outfit looking hot and send the pic with no explaination except see you next summer.

    3. Keep it, but vow to never use it to communicate with your family.

    4. Send it to your brother and SIL as a xmas gift.

    Overall, I have learned to use these types of situations to my benefit. First off, anyone bringing negative energy into my life becomes no longer necessary to me. Family or not. I just walk away, no need to explain. 2nd, I take the negative comments, depending on what they are, and use them to fuel my motivation. Example, my mom always tells me I'm not "school" material and I should just quit and settle for whoever will take my damaged goods and just be a wife. So, I graduated. That actually pissed her off. 3rd, I don't tell anyone anything anymore. I just do what I do and take satisfaction in the looks on their faces when I succeed. But I never have to deal with the I told you so's if I don't succeed.
  • MakeLifeBright
    MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
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    Hmmmm. We might be related.:laugh:

    The best advice is to ignore it and let them see you next summer while they spend the rest of the year doubting you. But don't give in and use that camera for what they want. And don't give any more details. Let 'em sweat and then enjoy the success next summer.

    There are several fun things that come to mind about the camera.

    1. Smash the crap out of it and mail it back with no explaination. They will get it.

    2. Sell it and use the money to buy a hot new outfit. Then take a photo of you in said outfit looking hot and send the pic with no explaination except see you next summer.

    3. Keep it, but vow to never use it to communicate with your family.

    4. Send it to your brother and SIL as a xmas gift.

    Overall, I have learned to use these types of situations to my benefit. First off, anyone bringing negative energy into my life becomes no longer necessary to me. Family or not. I just walk away, no need to explain. 2nd, I take the negative comments, depending on what they are, and use them to fuel my motivation. Example, my mom always tells me I'm not "school" material and I should just quit and settle for whoever will take my damaged goods and just be a wife. So, I graduated. That actually pissed her off. 3rd, I don't tell anyone anything anymore. I just do what I do and take satisfaction in the looks on their faces when I succeed. But I never have to deal with the I told you so's if I don't succeed.


    HaHa Love the christmas gift Idea!!! You know you are right, I was thinking... I should not have even told them anything.
    I can not wait to put on a pair of high heels, a hot dress.. and knock on their door unexpected!!
    ;) I do not have to prove myself to them. With all the support here, I have turned my negative feelings into
    work out fuel ;)

    Thank you all again so much, for being there for me!!

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