Let's go again! My return to MFP and story

MommaSparrow1928

Hello, my name is Jessica, I go by Jess or Jessi. I've been on and off this site since 2012 and really hoping to stay with it this time.


When I first started on here I was an 18 year old college student who gained a lot of weight just before starting school. I had been living in China for about 2 years (my father was teaching ESL when I was there) before returning state side to get my GED and start college a little earlier than the classmates that I use to go to school with before going to China. While I was in China I was a pescatarian (for those that don't know what that it, it's a type of vegetarian who will eat dairy, eggs, and fish/seafood). When I returned I was good at staying more towards that type of diet. But as type went on, I "allowed" myself to return to a "normal" omnivore diet, abet with a lot more fried foods involved. I gained 30 lbs practically overnight (I returned stateside in June and started college in August). When I left China I was about 118 lbs, which is about normal for my height and age. On my first day in bio lab, we weighed ourselves as part of an experiment. I now weighed a whopping 143 lbs! I was so upset and started to look into healthy ways to bring my weight down. Which lead me to this site. With all of the walking I did on campus, making healthier food choices (or at least portion controlling when I craved the "bad" food), and a little bit of light exercise with a new gym membership, I was able to lose about 10 lbs by the end of the semester (132 was a win for me!).

Life slowly started to get in my way as time went on. Between ending up dropping out of college, starting to work at my first real job (I had done a few little things to earn a bit of money outside of my allowance while I was in China), starting to date, and moving into my first place, I lost sight of my fitness goals. I stopped watching what I ate, and how much. I dropped my gym membership. My life revolved around what happened at home (me at 19 living with my boyfriend of 6 months) and working a second shift job.


Then in May of 2015 I found out I was expecting my first child. I did well with taking care of myself as much as I could with making very little and my then boyfriend out of work. We welcomed our first child, a boy, in January of 2016. And then I went on birth control for the first time in my life. Between not caring for myself as well as I could have and the birth control I went from 155 post delivery to 172 lbs! I was devastated and tried everything to lose weight. I dieted and returned to working out at the gym on a regular basis (with my boss/father being my biggest supporter behind my now fiancee and eventually husband). But no matter how hard I tried, I just could not lose the weight. So I gave up. I ended up getting married at the heaviest that I had ever been, but still felt beautiful as I had just learned to accept that what I looked like was all I would be.


In June of 2018 I learned I was expecting again, this time a little girl. Before I got pregnant (when I decided that I wanted to come off the birth control), my doctor had told me that I would have difficulty conceiving if I didn't lose weight (I was still at 172 lbs). I got pregnant 3 months after stopping my birth control and even managed to lose weight while pregnant (seeing as I was considered to be overweight when I got pregnant, my doctor wasn't concerned as I was losing healthy amounts and was getting within range of being a healthy weight). When I delivered my daughter, I weighed exactly the same as I did when I delivered my first. I was over the moon on losing the weight and welcoming our little girl to the family.

But as before, when I went on my birth control following her delivery (even being in a much more active job and eating somewhat well), I regained all of the weight I lost during my pregnancy. Even now, nearly 3 years later, nothing I have done will help me lose the weight.

Since my weight loss journey has begun I've gotten married (now working on a divorce), moved 10 different times (for various reasons. Most of it being that either my soon to be ex-husband or I were out of work and needed family support), had 2 children, had 12 job changes (some temp jobs, some changes due to moving. One job change due to Covid and the family situation at the time, one due to not making the money I was promised, and a final one for being more flexible to be with my kids and deal with my divorce issues).


Now, with the new year I plan to better myself. I want to lose the weight to be around as long as possible for my kids. I want to look good when I go to court to show my soon to be ex what he lost. I want to feel amazing in my skin again. In all, I just want to be the best me I can be! My goal here might be to get to a certain weight, but my main goal is just to feel truly good about myself and be a role model for my babies.



Thank you for reading my story. I wish everyone luck on their own fitness journey!