Is your self image warped?

I know mine is. :/

I was mindlessly browsing internet stuff this a.m. and clicked on pictures of celebrities in bikinis. Don't ask me why. :)

But looking at them all, I realized that's not the important thing, how great you look in bikinis. Because truth be told, many(if not most) look like regular people. Sure you got your Victoria models, always will have. But then there are so many different body shapes, curves, we're all different. We need to find a way to accept ourselves for who we are, not how we fill out a suit. Lizzo looked as happy as Kate Hudson. We need to stop striving for that almost impossible goal of perfection in others' eyes and seek to be great in our own eyes. Find what gives us our own spark, love of life, joy, and just as important, self-acceptance. Focusing on other people and reaching out to help, can make us just as beautiful to others as being the perfect 36-24-36. A smile can improve our outer beauty 100%.

I've always worried too much about what others think of me physically. And TBH, that's pretty shallow and ridiculous. I've always hid behind my wall of shame, never daring to step out from behind.

So from now on, I'm going to focus on the inner beauty part of my being and find ways to improve my self image so I can make others' lives better or easier. My healthier lifestyle will be geared more towards the health aspect and not outer beauty. Because, in the end that's not what matters.

Happy Sunday everyone and make it a wonderful day!!
<3

Replies

  • Theoldguy1
    Theoldguy1 Posts: 2,497 Member
    The fact is that she IS unhealthy, though. Self-acceptance is what is important not being in denial about the things you need to improve upon! Self-acceptance is just realizing that we're only human, not perfect. Our past experiences and culture plays a big part in who we are, and our mistakes don't always make us bad people. Find something important to you that you want to live for, and it'll be easier to live healthy.

    Could not have said it better myself.
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    @AnnPT77 Well said. :)
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    @springlering62 Loved all your words and it makes me sad to know your mom sabotaged your self-image and self-esteem like that. :( Children are so impressionable and believe everything a parent tells them.
    And sometimes complete strangers as well. :( Too many times I was called names simply walking along the street so I spent a lot of my younger(and older too :() days hiding from the public, staying inside myself. Hey, I believed them. The experience made me create a very negative self image and for the most part I've shaken it, but there are still days.......

    Hugs to you @springlering62!!! To see what I see of you on the forums.....I see a strong, dedicated, and kind individual. One that can do head stands. <3
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,371 Member
    My siblings are deaf, and we sign. We came up in the era when people- even adults- would stare rudely or point and loudly ask “what’s wrong with them?”

    Signing is SO cool. I can remember being a teen standing in a long slow queue behind a group who were signing and thinking how fascinating it was. They could be saying anything they wanted and no one around them would know!

    I've always wanted to learn ASL. (Might be something to pursue in retirement.)

    I'm sorry people were rude to your siblings, that's horrible.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,617 Member
    @ythannah

    Families can be difficult. And no wonder there’s all kinds of psychology involving our mothers. Wowsa.

    Retirement is amazing. If you don’t fall into the trap of sitting and staring at the TV or surfing the net for hours on end, there’s so much stuff to do and no one telling you when you can do it.

    Sorry, don’t know if you’re married or in a relationship. The company helps tremendously, even though I swear neither of us hears 50% of what the other says. That’s why I’m so invested in keeping the husband healthy. If something happens to him, with my sorely lacking social skills, I’m SOL, lol.

    And may I say, this is brilliant. You win the internet tonight!

    I'm 58 now and none of the people my age are getting cuter so it's much less important at this late stage. Age has kinda levelled the playing field.

    Far be it from me to suggest you do anything but treasure and preserve your husband: A good'un is a remarkable, valuable thing - 100%.

    But, IMO, your speculation (the bolded) is incorrect, probably - unless a person were to make it a self-fulfilling prophecy, as I've seen some do. Short of that, it can work out, even if it seems improbable - though IME it takes a little time and maybe experimentation. Don't ask me how I know.

    Let's just say there can be lots of forms of warped self image, maybe. 😉
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    There are some wise and eloquent people here. <3

    And ah yes, people. People who taunt, call you names, find anything to pick on you about to make themselves feel better, etc. I feel it happened during my formative years more so than 30's+. But it does stick to a person and is hard to shake, and it can definitely become a "self fulfilling prophecy" as Ann said. And we still see it, maybe far worse than it used to be before social media came around, even going as far as creating suicide issues. :( Some people just $u@k.
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
    It's weird. When I was a teenager, I was bullied for having certain attributes that society now considers desired. Receiving that type of attention late in the game was weird and caused me to make not the best life decisions. 🙃
  • mirianyusm
    mirianyusm Posts: 89 Member
    edited January 2022
    Thank you all for sharing your experience.
  • Beautyofdreams
    Beautyofdreams Posts: 1,009 Member
    I grew up being the largest(wore adult clothes and shoes) kid in my class until others caught up to me in junior high. I was called fat most of my life and my father called me ugly. My parents didn't call me fat which made me think that they were lying because even teachers called me fat. One year in junior high I went out for basketball just to embarrass my parents. I ended up going from the bench to starter on the B squad and sometime starter on the A squad. Still didn't change my self image, just re-enforced that I would not trust anyone, do my own thinking and just please myself since I couldn't please others.
    To this day, I cannot see myself as others see me. Yet I can look at a size 25,26, 27 or 28 pants and tell you which size I wear. This makes me laugh as I have and wear all the mentioned sizes in my closet. What I do know about myself is that I love to learn, develop habits easily and am consistent and goal oriented.