Lol

mantherzemail

I've been learning to eat healthy since the beginning of this month but it's still not enough because I love chips and fruit snacks lol. I've given up all carbonated drinks, sweets, ice cream and most processed foods. My husband eats all of that crap. It's hard to cook for both of us and our child when they both are picky. So I usually eat the same thing but a lot less or more simple.

You have to have the right mind set to accomplish your goals. Is it worth eating your craving and feeling like a failure or worth sticking to your goal and health? That doesn't mean give it up for life, but starting out I would give it all up.

glassyo

Huh! I wish you all the luck in the world. Not anything I could do, would want to do, or did in my weight loss days.

Honestly, you might want to figure out why you feel like a failure if you eat something you don't feel is healthy because THAT attitude isn't healthy either.

FYI, ice cream has calcium, chips have potassium, soda counts as water intake, sweets are good for diabetic sugar crashes and taste delicious, processed foods have convenience and also deliciousness.

Don't ever call any food "crap" in my presence. 😀

Edited to add: This probably sounded harsh but I didn't mean it that way. Feeling bad about eating something that gives me joy is just...inconceivable to me.

yirara

I think you need to figure out what works for you and your mind. I give you an idea of what my day looks like at the moment. I'm eating 1400 calories, plus exercise calories.
Oats with skyr, some raisins and whatever fruit I have
two slices of wholegrain bread with a young sourmilk cheese
two slices of wholegrain bread with jam
dinner whatever I cook (today ovenbaked breaded fish with potatoes and huge pile of veggies, and hoummus)
chocolate mousse
few small pieces of candy

I don't track sugar, get enough protein and fats, and feel happy with how I eat.

In the past when I really wanted to have a bag of crisps then I bought it... and ate it instead of my dinner. It's a decision of having something that I really want but doesn't quite fill me as much as a dinner, or have dinner. For me, this works.

slabrey85

I agree the right mindset is important. But is this 'all-or-nothing' mindset really the right one? I've never had luck with this kind of start personally, though I suppose some have.

What's wrong with starting off with smaller portions to fit your calories instead of completely removing them from your diet?

AnnPT77

mantherzemail wrote: »

I've been learning to eat healthy since the beginning of this month but it's still not enough because I love chips and fruit snacks lol. I've given up all carbonated drinks, sweets, ice cream and most processed foods. My husband eats all of that crap. It's hard to cook for both of us and our child when they both are picky. So I usually eat the same thing but a lot less or more simple.

You have to have the right mind set to accomplish your goals. Is it worth eating your craving and feeling like a failure or worth sticking to your goal and health? That doesn't mean give it up for life, but starting out I would give it all up.

The part I bolded seems to me not to reflect all of the possible options, and the overall idea it implies is alien to me personally. (Doesn't mean it can't work for others!)

First, it's just food. Why feel like a failure if you eat some, even if something unplanned? Feeling guilty or bad doesn't burn any extra calories, it feels icky, it doesn't help the process . . . why do it? If you didn't want to have eaten it, as you think back, spend a few minutes figuring out why it happened, revise your plan going forward to avoid a repeat, then let it go. You're not a failure, you just hadn't grooved in the right plan for you yet. Failure is a thing that happens if we totally give up permanently, y'know?

To me, losing weight - and perhaps more importantly staying at a healthy weight long term after that loss - is a matter of finding the right balance. In the mix for good balance are calories, feeling reasonably full, nutrition, tastiness, practicality, cost, social connection . . . among other factors.

Some things about finding that balance, IMO:

* To manage weight, it's important to average out to the right number of calories over short periods (week-ish, maybe), but every day doesn't need to be perfect. Close is good, most of the time: A little under, a little over, no big deal.

* Good overall nutrition is important for health. Big Picture, that generally means enough protein, enough healthy fats, plenty of varied/colorful veggies/fruits for fiber and micronutrients, most days, on average. Absolute daily perfection isn't essential. Again, it's about average out in a pretty good place, and that's a thing we can work at reaching gradually. If you're not starting with a diagnosed deficiency, you can take some time to dial in good nutrition, in a manageable, practical, tasty way.

Further, many crave-able foods have some nutrients. They can be fit in, in reasonable portions, or maybe just less frequently than before.

Yes, some people find it helpful to eliminate them temporarily, but if you're not willing to give something up forever, then it's a good idea to figure out how to fit it in eventually, while you still have that cushion of a calorie deficit in case there are slip ups. (We all have slip-ups. Just improve your plan, keep going, no big deal.)

The idea that there are "healthy foods" and "crap foods", at an individual food level, is IMO not accurate or useful. What matters is which foods fill out our nutrition on average on any given day. There are foods that are less nutrient-dense, more calorie dense, that need to be "sometimes" foods, probably.

If I have my protein, fats, and veggie/fruit intake in good shape, and still have calories available, there's absolutely no reason not to have a reasonable treat food with those calories, IMO. Could be candy, a cookie, a beer, ice cream, fast food fries/chips, doesn't really matter. (Well, too much beer too often is a bad plan, for health reasons. Some, occasionally, NBD IMO.)

Processed-ness IMO is particularly irrelevant. If a food has nutrients I need to round out my day, I don't see why it's any kind of problem to be getting those nutrients from processed foods like pasta, yogurt, bread, protein powder/bars or what-have-you. The most recent cookie I ate (homemade) had 78 calories, 1.2 grams of protein, 1.4 grams fiber, and some contributions to vitamin/mineral goals. It cost some extra calories, but that it was a cookie didn't wipe out the value of those nutrients in my day, y'know?

IMO, the idea that there are "healthy foods" and "crap foods" is not helpful. Sure, if you crave things that have high calories, not much nutrition, you'll need to limit those in some way . . . probably forever. If you don't want to totally give them up forever, maybe think about how to fit them in along the way, so that when you reach goal weight, you don't need to find a whole new set of habits . . . or worse yet, get on a cycle of yo-yo gain and loss (that's probably the worst health-wise!).

Best wishes!

paperpudding

That doesn't mean give it up for life, but starting out I would give it all up.

I wouldnt - and didnt.

The only thing I gave up was regular soda - and even then I changed to diet soda so more of a swap than a giving up.

Since then I have very occasionally had a regular one - it is not forbidden, I just have an alternative that is nearly always available to me.

I did not give up anything else - ate some things in smaller portions and/or less frequently but did not give them up - either in weight loss or in maitenance.

I get that for some people giving up some things is a better strategy for them - but Im not sure giving up so many things as you describe is a good strategy and I certainly dont think the strategy is a universal one that everyone should adopt, as your post seemed to imply.

makinlifehappen

I have (had) a problem with sweets until the end of november.
I started "keto" and intermittent fasting. It works for me.
That said I still give myself a "reward/cheat" day when I hit a milestone or goal. The goals I set are simple, lose weight, gain muscle.
Oddly enough when I started eating more fat my late night cravings for chocolate all but disappeared.

Finding what you will be consistent with in my opinion is what will have the best results as you will be willing to stick with it.

Best of luck in this new year.

sbelletti

Here's what I learned pretty quickly. Maybe it'll help... I have a set number of calories I can eat per day. If I eat all the stuff I used to eat (Mac and cheese, pizza, more pasta, wine, more wine), then I run out of calories pretty darn fast and I'm starving! If I start swapping some of those things for things like salads & vegetables and quit drinking most of my caloires, I can have huge amounts of food and feel full all day.

The choice of WHAT to eat is entirely up to you. But it does make it easier to stick with it if you're not hungry all the time. There are still some days where I just really want that pizza and wine, so I have it. I just make sure it fits with my calorie intake. Nothing is off limits, so there's no feeling of failure to worry about.

LenGray

What's worth it or not is honestly going to be a question that only you can answer. My two cents is that you can eat any food you like, but not all foods are going to be helpful at any given time. Even though I include many of the foods that I ate at my highest weight (nearly 50 lbs ago) my meals are different and it took time and effort to make those changes.

For example, at my highest weight, I loved mac n' cheeze. Still do! But today when I have mac n' cheeze, I have half the amount and add in smoked tofu, shredded carrot and broccoli. This works better for my current lifestyle because it fills me up more and gives me more protein and nutrition for less calories, so I can hit my goals.

However, when I first started, that substitution wouldn't have been obvious to me. It's a learned skill to say, 'this works better' or 'this isn't helpful' when it comes to food. So, some of the early steps were things like, 'I'll have one piece of french bread with my pasta and add a side salad' or 'I'll measure out one serving of chips, but add sliced veggies on the side'. Sometimes, my goal was eating a whole bag of mixed salad greens before it went bad or drinking 8 glasses of water each day for a week.

The important thing is to go at the pace you're comfortable with and be confident in the fact that you are making changes that will have bigger payoffs further down the line. If you love chips, fruit snacks, and sweets, acknowledge that (without judgement!) and think of ways to make it healthier and enjoyable. Add a side of veggies to the chips, have some real fruit with the fruit snack, or make a low-calorie cake and top it with a measured-out serving of ice cream. Eventually, if you give yourself time and compassion, it'll even out and those things you try will either stick with you as a healthy habit or fall to the side as you find something that works better.

wilson10102018

You now have the benefit of all the psychological underpinnings of compulsive, or at least uncontrolled eating. The trouble is that you can't fix your brain with your brain. Its been tried. Doesn't work. Ask anyone crying their eyes out after a breakup when everyone knows she is better off without him, or the fear of heights by a person being told that the stair tower is 100% enclosed and they couldn't fall if they tried. Its just a waste of time to try to overcome subconscious emotions with logic and reason. Its Just a waste of time and the continued failures will make matters worse.

The answer is that you have to endure some discomfort.

Just eat the same stuff but less of it. That is easier when you drop a few really high calorie dense items like peanut butter and corn chips and cheese. That stuff. But, certainly not required.

Just eat less and accept the discomfort just like you would accept the cold temperature if the plane landed in Toronto and you had clothing for NYC. Eventually, as your success has its psychological effect on your subconscious lack of self esteem it will be easier. Just like the fading memories of a bad boyfriend from years before.

cwolfman13

I've personally never seen the all or nothing mentality really work particularly well and it comes with a lot of unnecessary negativity and guilt which is nonsense. I tend to look at good nutrition with the big picture in mind rather than in a vacuum of this food or that or this meal or that. Having a cookie for desert doesn't somehow negate all of the other good nutrition I've had throughout a day.

I also tend to look at what I can add to improve my nutrition rather than "I need to eliminate this or that". My diet overall is pretty nutritionally on point, and I have no issues including some less nutritious foods sometimes. I don't eat pizza all of the time, but I usually have pizza night with the family on Friday. I don't eat ice cream all of the time, but I'm taking my kids to the bow range this weekend and we've decided we're going out for ice cream after. I tend to not think of foods as good or bad, but rather daily foods and sometimes foods.

tekwriter

You are doing so good this month with what you have given up. You could just try with those things for the rest of the month and then tackle crisps and what ever next month. Gives it some time to make a habit out of not having soft drinks etc. and then move on and tackle another problem. Best of luck to you.

kshama2001

Over the years, I've learned what foods I can moderate and from which foods I must abstain. For example, I can moderate chocolate chips, squares, or minis, but not chocolate bars, and I am currently struggling to moderate a big jug of chocolate covered almonds. I probably won't buy that again.

I have given up on trying to moderate my favorite flavors of ice cream. My brain insists on seeing a pint as a serving. (I've tried Halo Top, etc, but don't care for that.)

If you're an abstainer, ignore all the well meaning advice suggesting you moderate. But many of us can moderate some foods while finding others to be trigger foods.

Are You an Abstainer or a Moderator?

"...When dealing with temptation, I often see the advice, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”

I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they avoid absolutes and strict rules.

For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”

Aha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often–two and even three times a day–I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count?’” “Don’t I deserve this?” etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control...."

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-happiness-project/201210/are-you-abstainer-or-moderator

Idontcareyoupick

You can be an abstainer and a moderator, you just have to figure out which foods. I love oreos and have tried and failed to moderate those so I abstain and pick a day when I eat less to have my full row of oreos and I keep foods that I can moderate such as teddy graham's and Milano so I can still have a treat. You're going to want to work on some balance and work arounds as family issues aren't likely to change. For my boys, I'll make them regular rice and I'll do cauliflower rice but we all have the same protein and veggies. Easy swaps that you can live with will make it easier for you. Just my two cents. Good luck.

OnceAndFutureAthlete

Hi-
Please don't consider yourself having failed before you've started. You just haven't found what works for you...YET!

I feel like I've been dieting for decades - or else feeling bad that I should be dieting and wasn't. With MFP, I've finally found something that works for me - when I work it.

I figured out that the all-or-nothing of trying to change EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE (a strict diet) was setting myself up for failure and quitting (again). So I looked at what needed to change and decided to change 1 thing at a time, learn from and master that, and then change the next thing.

You might want to consider this methodology, with whatever steps work for you. Here's what I did:

First step: measuring and tracking - just putting everything I ate and a daily weigh-in into MFP (and setting it to private ) This helped establish the tracking habit and also gave me insight into how, how much, and what I was eating. I really thought I ate a pretty healthy diet, just too much of it, but this showed me that was not the case. This also helped me see that I was a night-time snacker and that if I ate too little early in the day, I would eat even more at night.

Second step: start switching it up with healthier choices. I didn't really worry about daily totals too much, just tried to find things that worked: a couple breakfasts I liked that were healthy, had good macros, etc. Healthy snacks that I liked. Dinner recipes that weren't too complicated or standard fare that I could up the veg quantity and still enjoy. Did you know you can add a butt-load of shredded carrots to spaghetti sauce and it tastes GREAT?! Increases the volume and fiber without adding a lot of calories. Or I buy one of those prepared frozen stir-fry bags and add a ton more frozen veg: snap peas, broccoli, etc.

Third step: This is when I cut out the sugar: candy & other sweets, donuts, cookies, ice cream, etc. I've since added small quantities of these back into my diet, but I found I really needed to cut it all out for a period of time to break my "addiction"/conquer my sweet tooth. I didn't worry about total daily calories or quantities much if I was eating "good stuff"*. If I was craving chocolate, I let myself eat as many carrots or apples+PB or cucumbers or blueberries or a nice hot chai latte as I wanted. It worked, and now I can eat small quantities of sweets and not feel driven to eat the whole box/bag/package/tub.

Fourth step: Full MFP plan. Set my calorie goal and stick to it. Watching portions and calories, measure everything, making mostly good choices, allowing myself treats.

In ~6 months last year I lost 45 pounds. I took a break over the holidays to practice maintaining, so I wouldn't be setting myself up for failure, and because I read an article that said to re-set your set point, you should take a break and maintain after losing ~5-10% of your body weight (and I had already lost 15% of mine). Now I'm back at it for another ~40 pound round, and went thru a shortened version of this phased process and so far, so good.

Sorry for the long post, and best of luck to you.

* for some the designation of foods as good/bad is problematic, but I use it here as a shorthand. Hopefully it's understood what I mean.