Tips for "mental endurance" MFP

jmf552

A little background: I did well at one time on WW and the tracking/accountability aspect seemed to help me the most. I just hated the meetings, the artificial "points" system and the expense, would drift away from it and gain the weight back. So I transitioned to MFP Premium and it is a great site, very good functionality. And I know that tracking/accountability works for me. It is the only thing that has ever worked.

FWIW, I have a very strong exercise program, so that is not an issue. I can sustain that. I actually enjoy it. I have about 70 pounds to lose. I am 69 years old.

Here is my problem, repeated many times: I will get up a bunch of mental fortitude to track consistently on MFP and I do great for a few days or even weeks. But inevitably, I get sloppy with it and then frustrated and think WTF and just drop it. It's like "my mind has a mind of its own." I know this is going to happen, I steel my mind against it, but it still happens. I get very frustrated with myself.

If anyone has been through this and conquered it, I would really appreciate the input on how you did it. If you have not had this problem, your response is probably not going to be helpful or welcome, no offense. I know all the psychological theories on this and "just do it" is not helpful either. I am looking for advice from people who have been there. I bet I'm not the only one who needs this advice, so you will probably be helping others also.. Thanks.

Cheesy567

Make it easier. Set your plan for your hardest days, not for when you’re doing your best. Make it bomb-proof.

I live with a chronic illness that sends me curveballs on the regular. So, my weightloss has been a long path and I go into maintenance regularly when SHTF. I have my habits stratified into three levels. “Basic”, for the worst days, the most simple habits that just keep me in the mindset of staying on track, and will pretty much keep me at maintenance. Survival mode but I’m not forgetting and I’m not backsliding. Did you know you can log your weight and log your food from a hospital bed? No excuses. But no guilt, either, if I’m not following a plan if any sort and eating out or eating whatever is brought to me or whatever I need to in order to get by. Weigh and measure as best I can, log it and keep swimming along. Life will get better.
“Minimums”, a step up, which will put me into a very slow and gradual weight loss if maybe a pound a month, and kind of keep the pump primed for when I’m ready for more. I can meal plan and food prep, have a bit more energy. Basic physio strengthening, base exercising, etc.
“Goal habits” are the next level, when life is great and things are going swimmingly. Things like weekly meal plans, exercising on the regular, a good calorie deficit, etc. Other life stressors are relatively low and managed well. Weight loss is occurring at a good clip.

The way an individual stratifies then might vary, and of course, individual habits will vary as far as what works best for a person. However, breaking them down into levels like this have helped me jump back and forth during stressful times without dropping the ball completely.

You don’t need motivation. You need a plan for the bad days and bad times. You need a roadmap to get back on-course for the inevitable times you’ll stray off-course. So take some time when you have strength and motivation to make those plans and map it out.

jmf552

Cheesy: Thanks. Great advice and your overcoming adversity is inspiring. I can't imagine tracking hospital food! I'd keep thinking MFP would give me a pop-up saying, "Really? You're actually eating that?" LOL. I hope you get better. Thanks for the advice.

Cheesy567

@jmf552, you’ve got this. And, you can eat that. Just go ahead and plan it into your day first, then plan the rest of your day around it. (Do you know the story of putting the big rocks into the jar first, then the pebbles, then the little grains of sand? Kind of like that— put the things you want to eat and are going to sabotage you anyways in there fist. Flip the old pattern on its head and see what happens.)

Eventually, you’ll probably decide one of two things— either you love that thing and aren’t going to live your life without it, so you’re going to figure out how to make it work. Or, it isn’t fitting into your goals the best, and making reaching your goals hard, so you’ll adjust “the thing” or drop it all together. You’ll figure out what works for you. But you don’t have to go without. And no one is going to tell you what you have to do, you get to choose each step of the way.

AnnPT77

Another vote for "make it easy".

I don't know if this is true for you, but we see quite a few people here get in a space of "I must eat only healthy foods, and always be under my calorie goal every day (and far under is being "good"), anything less is a failure", etc.

I'm a big believer - and have been a practitioner - of using the weight loss process, with a reasonable, moderate calorie deficit, as a sort of "experimental lab" for finding new, relatively happy habits I can continue long term, ideally forever, to stay at a healthy weight, more or less on autopilot. To that end, during weight loss, I decided I wasn't going to do anything I wasn't willing to continue permanently, except that sensible calorie deficit. It's a fun science fair project for grown-ups, pretty much, to me.

I logged my food, tweaked my eating to hit my calorie goal (very closely), get decent nutrition. I figured out how to deal with holidays, restaurant meals, etc., in ways that were workable for me personally. I didn't rule out any foods I really like, just adjusted portions and frequencies.

Sometimes, I ate over goal, even sometimes over maintenance calories, and didn't freak out about doing it. I just tried to decide whether it had been worth it to me in the big picture, and if so how to accommodate it. If it didn't seem worth it, then I'd try to learn something from it, and adjust my plans for similar scenarios, going forward. (I still eat well over maintenance calories sometimes, here in year 6+ of maintaining a healthy weight, and I know how to make that work out OK without huge stress or extreme compensation.)

For me, the actual logging process is helpful and not burdensome, so I've stuck with that. If I did find logging annoying, I would've been looking for eating patterns that kept me happy at reasonable calories without logging, just watching the scale, maybe using logging for a while to dial in those patterns, or to spot check once in a while as I was further down the road.

The specifics are going to be different for everyone, because we're all unique individuals. I do think that general philosophy can apply, though, to quite a range of people. Weight management isn't inherently a an epic quest or battle of good and evil, requiring big drama and extreme measures. It's a practical problem, and it can be solved. There are a lot of long-term multi-year maintainers here on MFP, and almost everyone's approach has different details that work for them personally.

You've gotten your exercise routine on a happy footing, where you get the results you want in a way that's congenial for you. Maybe think about how to get your routine eating patterns on a similar footing? If logging is a good tool for that, temporarily or permanently, for you, use it. If not, try something else.

At 69, you know lots about your own preferences, strengths, limitations. (I'm 66, BTW.) Apply that self-knowledge to this practical problem. You've probably done that with other things in your life, things that required chipping away at a big goal in small bits, over a long time period. Many of us have done that kind of thing to get an education, build a career, maybe raise a family, learn various complex practical or hobby skills, and more. You can do that with weight management, I'd bet, too.

Best wishes!

LifeChangz

sometimes, the thought of logging forever is intolerable, and I developed a strong revulsion from diet rules over the years.

it's simply a tool, to help us understand how much food is enough, not too much, not too little.

so what are you looking for in your eating approach?
~ I use the myplate meal design to help me choose foods
~ I use the mfp tracker to help me understand quantity (how much is enough)
~ once I've figured a meal out (same food items, same portions) then I can track it or not, I already understand it is in my ranges.

2 more ideas.... I like the idea of ranges better than a hard target. sometimes I divide my food over 3 meals, sometimes 2 or 4. typically, I shoot for 450 - 650 cal meals. snack 150 - 300, but often have a later evening 4th meal instead of a snack.

read a little book 'hungry' by Alan Zadak(?) - 1 of the ideas helped me a lot.... that each meal/snack is separate. prepare, begin, eat and enjoy, end. then done eating until it is time for next meal or snack when we need to nourish our body again.

by de-linking/separating my meals/snacks, I stopped bargaining to eat more now and eat less later (the wimpy buyer gladly pay you next Tues. approach.) and it freed me to look at just that meal ~ is it a good size, foods I enjoy plus nourishes my body... eat, enjoy, no guilt, repeat when it's time to eat again


food types/amounts and eat times, how we track or don't is a totally personal choice, something to explore and experiment with to find what works for you in physical and emotional ways. so I find it helpful to look at these thing's as an approach and tools I can use, and not a punishment or bunch of rules... that is flexible and can evolve and change when needed... just for me.

hope you find what works well for you too... it's worth tackling. hang in.

DancingMoosie

I do this as well. I think pre-logging, planning ahead helps a lot. And when you come to the point of not wanting to log, hopefully you have learned from what you have logged and use that as a reference. I think it helps you learn to make better choices. I also weigh daily and use a tracking app. When my weight goes out of my maintenance range, I can always go back to logging and pull it back together again.