Daily Ramblings March 29, 2022

jadu1536
jadu1536 Posts: 114 Member
in Chit-Chat
These days with dating, it's so hard to keep up on your emotional well being. I started seeing someone back in January, and I liked them so much that after about a month, I told them I really liked them and would like to date them exclusively. After I made this move, they became somewhat distant, but did keep asking to meet, we went to a club one day, out to go golfing another date, and then 1-2 dates we just hung out his place and got food or watched a movie. But there was no definition, they then left to travel internationally in February, planning on being back in 3 weeks, but their trip got extended to April. Since then we talk on Instagram here and there, or he sends me a joke/video off and on, but no phone calls or constant conversation. During that time, I drove myself a bit crazy wondering if that’s the end of the story for us.

In the past few days, I’ve received a few texts from them, to let me know they will be back, and how things have been going – and so that’s nice. It’s just so hard to know where we stand. We aren’t boyfriend/girlfriend, we aren’t staying in touch all the time, but there seems to be a connection there. I just wonder, how long are you supposed to wait until something real comes out of casual dating? Sometimes it’s hard not to stress about it and wonder – will anything ever come out of this? These questions sometimes make it hard to think about other things, or even focus on macros/gym. But I turned over a new leaf with that as of today, and I plan to stay within my macros for a month to see what happens.

How long would you give chemistry? Would you put a time limit on it?

Replies

  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    Go slow. Very very slow. Listen to your head as much as your heart. Find what you enjoy about life and then go do those things. Live life for yourself, not some guy who you've gone out with a few times and think you're connecting with.

    Trust me on this. You're seeing this whole thing right now through rose-colored glasses. Meet lots of people. Go out and enjoy yourself.
  • jadu1536
    jadu1536 Posts: 114 Member
    Thank you for the advice
  • ChillTheBathWater
    ChillTheBathWater Posts: 32 Member
    I agree with @ReenieHJ

    Firstly, @jadu1536 I admire your desire to reach out. I'm single & still feeling Covid-shy, so I've yet to venture out for more than necessary shopping.

    A few dates isn't very much time to determine long-term prospects, at least in my opinion. When guys want to move too fast, it makes me back off because I'm unsure if they can really be that into me in such a short period of time or if they're only desiring not to be alone.

    What I do know, however, is that if a man is interested in a woman, he'll find her, keep in touch, not pass up opportunities to meet or talk. In my experience, if he's out of touch for any reason, he's probably not fully interested, a selfish person to whom relationships aren't that important or possibly just keeping someone on the back burner as a "just in case". Men don't usually keep someone of interest out of reach.

    I don't want to be on someone's list to call only if he can't find anyone/thing better. Doing so only keeps me out of the loop of being able to move forward to meet someone with whom I can develop a strong relationship.

    How long to wait, only you can know, but at the beginning, if trying to get together seems like an obstacle, then it always will be, because he can easily remedy that... he knows where you are.

    Good luck! You'll find someone soon. In the meantime, go out, have fun. If it's meant to be with this lad, it will easily manifest.
  • Celticlass22
    Celticlass22 Posts: 1 Member
    If you’re asking this question then you have answered it yourself. You wouldn’t question the relationship if it was the real thing.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    I chased someone exactly like this a long time ago--kept popping up and then disappearing. I then met another--my now husband of 38 years, and the chemistry was unmistakable and immediate. After a long time when I still think of the other, I think "he had his chance, but blew it".

    Hope you meet the right person, I wouldn't count on this one.

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