My wife sabotages my progress

andysport1

I don't think she does it on purpose, we work in two different countries and do not see each other frequently.
I am going to see her for 2 weeks, normally she over feeds me (I never leave food) my morning exercise routine normally fails within 2 or 3 days and when I want to run she says I'll come for a walk with you, so my runs never happen

Any suggestions?
It's not a massive issue because it's only 2 weeks, it's just I'd rather not lose my current exercise gains.

snowflake954

Hm...this thread is very similar to another that was posted on here some months ago. Never got resolved?

First off, it's never another's fault if you miss your exercise or eat differently. If YOU decide that you want to spend more time with her and eat her loving cooking that's fine. If not, you have to put some limits on.

I'm curious. Do you ever go to visit her? What's her routine like? Do you disrupt it when you go there? Perhaps, she too, eats totally differently when apart. Without getting into it, perhaps 2 weeks of "exercising together" might be a good idea. It's hard to keep long distance marriages together. You should be anxious to see her.

sijomial

You can choose to start leaving your food.

You can choose to go for a run by yourself AND go for a walk with your wife.


PS - I stayed fat for years because I blamed someone else and circumstances for things that were really within my control.

LaBellaHarris

At least for the overfeeding part, that's probably a cultural love language. I'm Greek-Italian, third generation on both sides, and we have to feed the people we love: if we don't, I'm pretty sure we'll explode. My advice on that front is to figure out a non-food way to say I love you and I care about you. Are you guys from a touchy culture? Maybe just a hug or a forehead kiss or even a soft touch to the elbow while saying "thanks, it was great, but I've had enough." Is it food that she cooked for you? Especially if you're usually apart, expressing the affection and care you feel for each other with physical touch, verbal words, and acts of service is really important. Tell her what you liked about the food, or how you appreciate that she remembers your faves, and she may not need to overfeed you to get the same feeling.

And get a smaller plate/bowl: filling a smaller plate tricks the brain into thinking she's feeding you a lot (with her love!) without actually making you consume a huge portion size. Plus, you can point to the number of refills you've had as proof that it was good and you're full ("This is already my second plate! I couldn't eat a third.")

And finally... does she know you're trying to lose weight? My husband tried to lose weight without telling me at one point in our marriage and I was in a panic that he was starved for food and affection, like a dying houseplant. It worked a lot better for us once he told me that he was worried about his health and I could plan healthier dinners for us both (and we got to experiment with recipes and ingredients, which was a fun adventure, even when it went horribly wrong).

cmriverside

Talk to her about this.

I control what goes in my own mouth, so do you. Same with my exercise.

SuzySunshine99

"She over-feeds me"?

No...you are over-eating.

Maybe you could take responsibility for at least some of the grocery shopping and cooking while you are visiting her. Then, you could have more control of your meals, instead of sitting back and being "fed".

And, yeah, just go for your run when you want to...you can still go on a walk with your wife.

ninerbuff

She can't FORCE you to eat. That's on you. You can be tempted, but that's a matter of self discipline.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition