I wish I didn't have to eat.

Yup, title says it all. After all these years of dieting I find myself just wishing I never had to eat ever again. I honestly don't know how so many people do it, diets that is. I've lost weight, over 30 pounds actually..but in doing so I have completely ruined food for me.
So many years of eating food I hate, reading food labels, avoiding social gatherings were junk food is, and trying to work and sleep while I'm starving. Give me the one a day food pill, and rip out the part of my brain that makes me hungry.


  • Redordeadhead
    Redordeadhead Posts: 1,188 Member
    edited April 2022
    I have a feeling I've read this before... did you already post one or two very similar threads last year?
    I'm really sorry to read this. I hope you find some peace and a more positive mindset. Have you sought out some professional help?
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,243 Member
    You know what they say. Don't work at Baskin Robins if you love ice cream.

    Ok, they don't really say that but I've heard stories. :)

    Op, it really sounds like you unneedlessly tortured yourself in your weight loss efforts. There really is a better way once you're ready and mfp will be here for you when you are.
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    Agree with making this harder than it has to be. There must be lots of substitutions 'out there' for foods you like that aren't complete diet breakers? This process, in theory, is easy, while practicing it is challenging. I've tortured myself in the past by allowing certain foods in the house, by allowing myself to return to my bingeing habits for no good reason. By eating everything and anything, way past the point of enjoying or probably even tasting the food I'm packing away. :(

    "So many years of eating food I hate, reading food labels, avoiding social gatherings were junk food is, and trying to work and sleep while I'm starving. "

    This part I quoted from your post, tells me you're tired of this way of losing weight. But I think you're torturing yourself for no reason. :( Not to sound snarky which I hope I don't. But there are definitely resolutions to all these issues.
    1. DON'T eat foods you hate. No need to. Just don't fill your eating style to the max with foods that got you to that place originally. Think healthy enjoyable substitutes.
    2. I admit to hardly ever reading food labels. :/ I simply buy fresh foods, lean meats, nonfat dairy products and occasionally lite bread, etc. I mostly stay away from many canned items, bakery aisles, etc. and junk food type products(yeh those Little Debbies at the end of that aisle, walk way far away)
    3. Ok, I'm definitely not a social creature to begin with, but when there is a gathering and lots of food is available, try to load up on healthier foods(create a fancy veggie tray, fruit salad or charcuterie board or something) and only take tastes of other stuff. Last fall, I started with my stress eating and it lasted well into the holidays, unsurprisingly during Christmas was badbadbad, and gaining 20# was the true torture.
    4. There's no reason why you should be attempting to sleep/eat while starving. Snack during work, before bed. A little bit goes a long way and it can add very healthy benefits into your diet.

    I agree, at times, it can feel like torture but I keep future images in my head, thinking back to how it felt to be slim and active and not winded walking up stairs. I toss out the ideas of how good junk food tastes(to me that is). Being a child of the 50's-60's, we grew up on all the Kool-aid and Ding Dongs, always had to finish dinner if we wanted dessert, that type of thing. :/ New times, new habits, being an adult and doing things our own way gives us such a freedom. Create habits you can enjoy and live with, please don't torture yourself. :)

    Probably not looking for a long-winded reply on how to do it but a lot of my words also serve to remind myself to keep looking forward, not give up and enjoy life. I remind myself often, eat to live, not live to eat.
    Take care!!
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 33,195 Member
    I agree that this is a mindset problem, not a hunger problem...unless you have some medical problem. Start by seeing your doctor and ask for a referral to a cognitive behavior therapist. It's all about how you view this issue in general. Everyone deserves to eat good food, not too much.
  • ehju0901
    ehju0901 Posts: 350 Member
    I'm sorry you are feeling this way! During my diet adventure I have also found plenty of foods I do not enjoy, but I try them once and move on. I have also found plenty of foods I DO enjoy and I continue to buy/cook them. Don't force yourself to eat things you aren't enjoying.

    Your post gives me concern that you are depressed and it may be worth taking a step back and consulting with a professional. There is absolutely no shame in this and if it is for your own well-being, it is worth exploring!
  • BrianSharpe
    BrianSharpe Posts: 9,218 Member
    Watching what I eat has had the opposite effect for me. I should, for the sake of full disclosure, say that no food is off limits to me but counting calories has made me appreciate the foods that I really enjoy even more. I think of it as being akin to enjoying a very fine scotch, you don't need to drink a lot to appreciate it.

    I'm sorry that dieting has ruined your enjoyment of food.
  • Xerogs
    Xerogs Posts: 328 Member
    It's something that I have to remind myself of from time to time by my current WoE isn't a diet since "diet" equates something short term in my head. I have lists of things I don't eat from a health perspective but along the way I've tried a lot of new things. I've like some and others meh...

    One thing that really helps me is how I feel in terms of what I am eating. There are things like wheat and sugar that directly affect my health but that doesn't close off other foods that I like, leave me satiated, and make me feel better. I was never been a big fan of broccoli but seasoned right and steamed with a little olive oil I really like it these days. The internet is full of recipes for foods on my list of things I eat so its always worth trying something new.

    I don't avoid social gatherings even though I am an introvert. I just set myself up so I don't have to partake in what is being offered and explain to anyone why I am doing what I am doing. If you are hungry all the time then it might be time to re-evaluate what you are eating and look at finding satiating replacements. My wife is vegan and eats a lot of fiber and carbs and this works well for her. I am not vegan but I eat a lot of fiber plus other LCHF options and that works for me. We are on two different sides of the spectrum working towards better health although most of my meals are vegan based at home. So you have to find out what works for you and is tenable. It's OK to take a step back and look at your WoE and adjust as needed.
  • COGypsy
    COGypsy Posts: 961 Member
    I totally get how you feel. I frequently resent the fact that I have to eat. I don't have the diet resentment that it seems like you have. For me, I genuinely dislike (if not outright despise) everything involved in preparing meals. Cooking is far and away the most dreaded chore in my day and I can't tell you how many times I have cheese and crackers at 9 o'clock just so I can take my night time pills!

    I don't have any consolation or tips and tricks, but wanted you to know you definitely aren't the only person who feels this way!
  • Walkywalkerson
    Walkywalkerson Posts: 453 Member
    Learning to cook things I enjoy really helps me to stay within reasonable calories.
    I often go over by a lot - I log it and move on.
    I've been where you are - restricting and demonising food groups and being hungry all the time yet wanting to weigh / look a certain way.
    It's a horrible place to be.
    Maybe look for some help regarding your issues around food and find out as much information as you can yourself so you can understand it better.
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    Ah now I remember your other posts.

    Have you ever found support from people who are challenged by the same thing?

    I have a hard time understanding your issues because I'm the exact opposite. :( And maybe that's why you're not getting the help you're seeking? IDK. Most people(or at least everybody I know) do enjoy food, it's the indulging too much of it that's an issue, not lack of interest entirely. Keep searching because there must be others that are challenged by the same thing or can at least understand better.
    Good luck!!
  • Sinisterbarbie1
    Sinisterbarbie1 Posts: 701 Member
    @Tiptoetherat is the question that you have lost weight [too many times] and now struggle to maintain weight and a “normal” lifestyle because you have anxiety around eating and worry that you will gain it back, therefore you feel like you have no taste for food and dont want to eat? That seems like something that is less of a question for a dietician initially than for someone who can help you mange anxiety around body image and eating issues.

    What is happening with your weight while this is going on? Are you losing a lot? Staying the same? Gaining? And what can you tell about why. Do you starve yourself until you are so ridiculously hungry that you must binge to make up for the restricted calories? What does that cycle look like, if that is what is happening? What foods are you eating when you do eat? Are there ways to spread those foods out or supplement them to make sure that you aren’t hungry when trying to work or sleep? Are there times of day when you are more inclined to eat than others? Some people can’t stomach breakfast, for instance. Some people also do well on one meal a day programs where they eat all their calories in a short period of time during the day. (I am trying to suggest you start with whatever you are already doing and then adjust from there, rather than go out shopping for a grocery cart of things you don’t want). There doesn’t have to be one way of eating to be healthy.

    You might also look at suggestions that people make for cancer patients struggling with appetite and other challenges during chemo. Those are not geared at gaining weight, just at maintaining nutrition and overcoming challenges with food aversions due to bad tastes in your mouth, vomiting, problems swallowing etc. while doing chemo and radiation. I found some of these recommendations to be helpful myself when I was on a heavy chemo regime, and also for maintaining my mother’s nutrition when caring for her.
  • caroljeandaniels
    caroljeandaniels Posts: 1 Member
    I am a “live to eat” person and I love cooking, but for me the key to retraining my brain was to find something I enjoy and eat that every day. It’s takes the work and stress out of planning. I make a smoothie with 1/2 frozen banana, 1/4 c frozen blueberries, a cup of frozen kale (you honestly don’t taste it!), 1 c low-fat milk, 1/8 cup bran buds and a scoop of vanilla protein powder. I look forward to this for breakfast every day.

    For lunch I make a bowl of 4 oz chicken breast, 1/2 cup rice, some red or yellow bell pepper. Once that’s hot I add salsa and 1/4 c low-fat cottage cheese.

    I have a protein bar for a snack, then for dinner 4-5 oz lean beef fillet or pork tenderloin and 100g sweet potato. This is my day. Everything can be prepped in advance and tucked into the freezer. Because I am only eating things I enjoy, I feel satisfied. Because I’m eating lots of protein, I’m never hungry. I don’t eat what I don’t like and my eating is on auto pilot. I do go out with friends and enjoy an evening off once in a while. I’m trying not to rush weight loss, rather create new habits that will naturally lead to healthier eating. In doing so I’m losing, slow and steady. For me this is the closest I can get to a “food pill”. I wish you good health ❤️
  • Xerogs
    Xerogs Posts: 328 Member
    edited April 2022

    Just like I had to get to the root of over eating you probably need to get at the root of why you hate eating. Why do you hate eating? Beyond the physical act so to speak since we all have to eat to survive.

    I really had to take a hard look at why I over eat and why I would fall back into junk food junkie patterns. It was really about my past emotions wrapped up in eating food that was addictive in nature. I really couldn't deal with the over eating until I dealt with the reasons behind it. There are reasons we do things or avoid things and if they become a detriment to our health mentally and physically then it is worth the time to figure out why.

    I was able to figure this out without therapy others may need to find a therapist to help them out. It may also take a number of therapists before you find the right fit. My niece had food issues since she was a baby and had a limited number of food items she would eat. It was a complete mental block and it took my sister-in-law a number of tries before she found a therapist that made progress with my niece. My niece will never been 100% but she still makes little progressions here and there.

  • pcrozier99
    pcrozier99 Posts: 35 Member
    You feel how you feel, but such negativity is so unnecessary and unfortunate, as is such a bad relationship with food. Very very destructive to your health goals for sure. In fact such a bleak outlook may lead you to very unhealthy decisions It might speak to much deeper issues than none of on this forum are capable of addressing.

    There are no magic solutions, but within your own post it tells me you have not done a lot of research or really even understand the concepts of the app you are on right now. "Crash dieting", as in extreme and quick weight loss, is the antithesis of what MFP is about and likely not exactly what your doctor ordered. This is not sustainable in the long term. Claiming to gain up to five pounds of fat from a single small cheat meal is, frankly, impossible unless that small meal actually contains about 15,000 to 20,000 calories.

    If you are eating at a modest calorie deficit, you will lose weight. Period. That's a simplification, of course, but not by much. If you are not losing weight, you are in a calorie surplus. Period. It's not about eating food you hate. It's about eating controlled portions of healthier food you like. Even not so healthy food IN MODERATION, can be enjoyed. Counting calories precisely can get tiresome but it's absolutely necessary until a person gains a better understanding of what you are eating.

    As for me, I am nearing the end of my weight loss goal, slowly changing my focus to maintenance and body recomposition as I achieve the initial goal. It's been hard work for sure, with plenty of frustration and even some anxiety along the way. But it's also one of the most rewarding things I have done in my adult life. I am so much more knowledgeable about the food I eat than before this journey began. Food is not, and never will be, my enemy. It's one of my greatest joys, I still love food and will always love a great meal. But through this work, and with the help of this app, I have so much more understanding about my body and the food I eat. I do not feel deprived at all. I am still enjoying great food. But within reason and within the goals laid out with the help of MFP and other resources. During my weight loss I have been able to change some very bad habits picked up over the years. I am grateful for the progress.

    I am under no illusions whatsoever that the hard work is at and end. Far from it. It's only just beginning. But my relationship with food is now more positive than it's every been. I am glad and look forward to many great meals over the many years ahead.

    Good luck to you. I hope you get out of this spiral you are in before you make some bad decisions that impact your health negatively.
  • ErinKeegan2
    ErinKeegan2 Posts: 20 Member
    I really sympathize with your situation, please, think about professional help
  • 33gail33
    33gail33 Posts: 1,155 Member
    edited April 2022
    @Sinisterbarbie1 Thanks for the insight

    Pretty much if I don't starve myself I don't loose weight. Let me explain a bit more.

    If I only eat 1500 cals or less a day, no cheat foods, no cheat meals, don't skip the gym, I might...MIGHT loose a pound that week, maybe two. The end result is I feel hungry 24/7 , I hate everything I eat, I loose lots of muscle, etc...

    If I eat a cheat meal, even a small one, I can gain back 2 to 5 pounds, and thus ruin a months worth of work.

    Ive been doing this for over 10 years now, so I'm at the point were if I eat something and it tastes good I think "This must be bad for me...I better not eat it." If I go out with friends I won't order food just a diet soda or something because I can never find anything I want to eat at a restaurant. etc.

    Now when I tell people (professionals and otherwise) I get a lot of people that tell me to "suck it up" and be more tough, learn will power etc.. I get lots of people that want to teach me how to cook, but even the smell of most foods makes me sick these days. The one that really gets me though is all the people that out and out tell me that I must be lying to them. They say things like "there is no way this food log is correct you must be eating junk food and not saying so!"

    What do I eat when I do eat?? Egg whites, protein bars, mixed veggies, fruit, muscle milk, low carb wraps with tuna and spinach, etc. Things most people would say are good for you, but its all very terrible to me. For example I never liked tuna, I figured if I kept forcing it down I would atleast get used to it and stop hating it. Sadly this isnt the case.

    So... at the moment I'm about to do another crash diet to loose more weight (Doctors orders). My fridge is full of food I don't want to eat and we will see how long I can make it last this time again. I HAVE reached out to local eat disorder groups but sadly that has not helped at all. Fact of the matter is I don't want to learn how to "love food again" or "fix my relationship with food" I just want to stop feeling hungry all the time, hit my goals, and not spend so many hours a day dealing with eating.

    Yeah this sounds like a terrible way to live, so sorry you are feeling this way. Not sure if you are looking for advice, but if you are starving 24/7 on 1500 calories them maybe switch up the kinds of foods you are eating? Like higher volume lower calorie? I'm not sure if that would work for you - my problem is that I overeat whether I am hungry or not, so can't really fathom being hungry 24/7 tbh, I have never experienced that.
    If you don't want to "deal with eating" then it might work to meal plan and it basically the same things every day. Like make a 1500 calorie plan that is satiating enough, and then just eat that, taking the stress out of daily planning. Too much variety and choice can be overwhelming.
  • ehju0901
    ehju0901 Posts: 350 Member
    Thanks for explaining how you got to where you are now, and why you no longer have a taste for food/have a fear for food. In your answer, i hear you saying a few things that are actually commonly said on these boards by many of us as we start or at various points, and there are other people who are long time members and way more eloquent and versed in how nutrition and weight loss works who can comment better on how you might try to approach weight loss differently with more success.

    The things that jump out at me are
    1 - you say you are forcing yourself to eat foods you don’t like, like tuna, Why? Tuna is not some magic food. There are no magic foods, You can find a decent way to eat eating foods you like within reason.
    2- you say you are disappointed by weight loss of 1-2 pounds a week. That is the maximum sustainable weight loss recommended for anyone. You say you are achieving that at 1500 calories. I don’t know how much you exercise or your height or weight, but that may be an aggressive long term target for you to maintain.
    3- you say you are disappointed or upset by fluctuations in weight of 2-5 lbs. Those happen to everyone and are usually meaningless. You are assuming they are related to regaining fat. If you are logging what you eat and measuring what you eat before you log it then you know that they are water shifts. Ignore them. (If they are not water weight shifts and are instead the result of a series of binges because you have restrained your calories too far and your “cheat meals” are actually the equivalent of several days worth of food calories, then you do have a nutrition problem to address, and it should be obvious how to fix it - up your normal daily calories to something sustainable that is still eating at a deficit, and cut out the binge/cheat meals. You can still eat at restaurants by the way.).
    4- you say you have been doing this for 10 years and it has not been working for you, but you are going to keep doing it. Perhaps it is worth exploring instead of trying another crash diet, just logging and managing your calorie intake and expenditures more rationally and reassuring yourself that you don’t have to lose weight at a crazy fast pace, eat food you don’t like, and beat yourself up about water weight shifts if you are just paying attention to what you are actually eating and getting appropriate nutrition. It sounds like you are really committed and are doing a lot of this already. Maybe the only part you need to cut out is the beating yourself up part, and the “I need to lose weight crazy fast” part. Those are by far the most dangerous parts and also the ones that make us fail.

    Just to let you know that this all does work. I have lost 50 lbs this way. Not losing more than a lb a week, many weeks not appearing to lose anything at all. It took me over a year to do it. I didn’t make any crazy shifts in my diet, just started paying closer attention and deciding not to have certain things, or to replace certain things in my diet with others I like equally well. I didn’t make any big announcements. My family didn’t notice until I had already lost around 20 lbs. (I am 5’9” and carried my weight fairly well, meaning spread all over).

    I think you have highlighted some very nice points here.

    I also wanted to continue to stress that weight does fluctuate, and that is OK! Is it frustrating? Yeah, most of us want to continuously be hitting our goals; however, it is not realistic. The other day I had an over 3 lb weight gain, but the next day I dropped back down to where I was earlier. A lot of this was most likely water weight or bloating, etc. Was I upset when I saw the scale went up 3 lbs? Yes, but I didn't let it ruin my day.

    Also, if you are losing 1-2 pounds a week that sounds great to me! Don't be so hard on yourself, you are doing great. You don't need to force yourself to eat foods you don't like. Find ways to use foods you DO like. There are plenty of recipes out there for you to try that include foods you enjoy. :)