Hubby Died....I Don't Want to Take Care of Me, I Have To

lisamhall2021
lisamhall2021 Posts: 4 Member
in Chit-Chat
Just 2 months after we were married, my husband was diagnosed with cancer. He died in January. I have experienced grief before, but nothing like this. I have experienced every emotion in the book. I gained a ton of weight in a short time while I was his caregiver (not blaming him, but the caregiver often doesn't take care of themselves, which was true in my case).

My motivation ebbs and flows. I did the counseling thing. Not saying it didn't help, but they can't bring him back and I have to learn to adjust to my new normal.

Some days I lose myself in work. Some days, I am a fanatic about logging and tracking my fitness, food, and water--others not so much but I do it anyway. I am struggling to put one foot in front of the other.

I'm not looking for sympathy or advice cuz I have my faith strongly supporting me. But what would help me is if there are others in MFP-Land peeps who are going through (or have gone through) something similar. I am new to MFP and would appreciate any new friends here who I can (possibly) also support in return.

TIA.

Replies

  • Happygolucky182
    Happygolucky182 Posts: 120 Member
    Welcome to MFP - I haven’t gone thru anything like what you’re experiencing before but here to support!

    I hope you’re able to find a little distraction here and all the support you need as well ❤️
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    So sorry for your loss. At this point just put one foot ahead of the other. It will take time and many ups and downs. Healing is just that way. Embrace small joys and try not to dwell on the sorrows.
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    My sincere condolences on your loss. :( Such trauma, angst, and rawness that must still be there for you. :(
    I haven't lost a spouse but watching my older sister go through losing her husband to Alzheimer's last year, helped me realize what a very painful thing it was(and still is) for her. It's been 14 months for her. Please allow yourself a lot of time to heal, the time to be kind and gentle to yourself. Give yourself grace and love as you would your best friend.

    I'm glad you have support in your faith, that's a good place to start. Keep reaching out to others and lean on them when weak moments hit. Over time, those moments will be less.

    I know you said you didn't need advice but personal experience. Just know you're being thought of and {{HUGS}}

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