Need help!!!

getfitwithdesi

I have been working with a bariatric doctor who specializes in non-curting support (I DON'T WANT SURGERY!). I started at 405 pounds on December 30 2021 and as of today, I am down 25 pounds, which I had lost before Feb 24th, and have been fluctuating same 5-10 pounds since.

I have cut my carbs from over 300g to 75-90 grams a day, I have increased protein from 40-60 grams a day to 90-100g, I have decreased sugar significantly as well, as I am. Diabetic Type 2. And for a while, I was seeing good, steady progress on the scale...

But, about a month ago, I started gaining a bit each day for a week and gained back double digits....nothing changed.

The only thing I can see is my sodium intake is usually between 3000-5000 a day...I know this is high, but I can not seem to get that number to come down...

Also, I do well for about a week on lower carb and then I binge (never as bad as my binging used to be, but it makes up for being good the other 5-7 days...this usually happens on the weekends or in the evenings, during the week days, I have work to keep me busy and I never think about eating.

So here are my two questions:

1. How do I cut back on sodium both eating from home and out? Are there things I need to tell restaurant staff when I eat out to reduce this number? When I eat at home, I don't use salty seasonings or anything, usually the sodium is already in the food, how do I make better sodium food choices?
2. How do I stop the weekly binges? I have tried to detect a pattern, and it usually when I am home alone, bored, or concerned/stressed about something or missing home....not sure how to stop this....I know it is a phase and an unhealthy emotional eating disorder, but I usually don't realize it until I am in the binge, usually it is a sweet craving (I try not to keep sweets in the house, but I do not live alone)....what are good options that even when I am binging I won't ruin my carb and sugar goals horribly?

Note: I have no thyroid and take synthroid and cytomel, I was recently diagnosed with lymphedema, lipodema and vascular insufficiency, I have fibromyalgia and and arthritic knees...so exercise is hard for me...starting water axercises this week, or will take any other suggestions here too. I have a paraplegic husband who I ma the sole caregiver, so taking care of myself sometimes/most times comes second.

PAV8888

I don't know enough about your specific physical ailments to be sure that they could be affecting your scale weight. However a quick google indicates that they are not unlikely to be affecting your scale weight which means that they MAY be hiding progress you may be making in the background. An indication of this might be the amount of swelling you have.

When I was starting out, I started out with a lot of ideas as to what was important in terms of managing my weight. It led to some, funny in retrospect, decisions, but hey, I'm still around and my decisions, I hope, improved with time.

There are few shortcuts that can be taken by people who have gained significant amounts of weight over the years. Somewhere in all this you WILL have to make (some) TIME for YOU. Some time to work on you. And some time to CARE for you. or to do the things that are the equivalent of care for you.

Beyond that. Carbs sugars all that are excellent short-cuts to quickly address some levels of excess food and drink intake and perhaps control some excess imbalances in your body.

But.

The simply truth is that ALL (named) ways of eating use the same mechanism to reduce your weight: they do so by helping you reduce the total calories you're on-boarding to below the level of the calories you're "outboarding" each day by being alive and by moving around. They help you create a deficit.

That's it.

A tub of soup has calories. The tub of ice cream has calories. One has more than the other and one will either keep you full LESS long than the other, or induce you to add some whipped cream on top. If I had to make myself feel full for a day on fewer calories than normal... I would probably pick the soup! This doesn't mean I would never pick the ice cream. Just, NOT most of the time!

Calorie counting is a wonderful short-circuit. Especially when it is (lets face it) somewhat time consuming when you're first starting out. It does get much faster with practice and once your recent list is well populated with correct entries. But you can take advantage of the time consumption when you're starting out!

Once I convinced myself that NOTHING could enter my mouth until it had been accurately recorded by weight on a scale and entered in MFP using independently verified entries... it is amazing how many times I ended up not eating something! Or how many times I had an apple or two while cooking and calculating... and by doing so I reduced the urge to eat as much afterwards. Or even delayed meals to a few hours later.

In fact: logging was one of the things that broke the mental association I used to have that I "had to have a meal called lunch or dinner" regardless of any snacks I had previously eaten! A great discovery. I CAN eat a large piece of cake or the Costco sized muffin someone brought at work. But I CAN'T eat a large piece of cake AND lunch and be within my calories. It IS a trade off.

You're starting from a position where portion sizes, frequency of eating, snacking, this that the other may be out of whack to where they should be. USE THE TOOLS.

Off load the "I've had enough and I should stop" calculation to the computer in the sky by making full use of the tool. "nothing goes in till it is fully recorded" simplez. Will this potentially mean less meals in restaurants? Will this lead to other adjustments? I would, at least initially, call that a bonus not a bad thing! Some things will have to change and be re-evaluated over time.

Evaluate the stuff you've eaten and see what is a bargain in terms of satiety and what... isn't. ADD bargains instead of dropping things you like. Just add bargains.. and if there is still room for goodies... sure, why not! It is a caloric GOAL, not something you should always be under!

Beyond that: there is binge type eating patterns and there is full on BED. Only you know what you're experiencing when you "binge". If it is full on BED you're best to tackle this with a pro! If you're eating for reasons other than being hungry. Eating while agitated... I should know about that one you would think! My personal solution (for me, and I am definitely NOT claiming it is the BEST one out there...) was to stock the house with lower calorie snacks. And to definitely have a large part of my caloric allowance late at night. The likelihood of me going seriously off track after eating a huge tub of yogurt and chocolate pudding possibly with some fruit and cereal that was all within my calories--well the likelihood hasn't proven too bad over the years! There *are* better solutions though!

For a more "professional" head on solution: I believe that @kshama2001 has often mentioned a couple of books that might help? I don't know about your location and coverages, but CBT or similar may also be effective. You mentioned you're working with a doctor? What are their suggestions?

But a part of all this is also picking the correct target calories to eat. I would give it a serious thought as to how many calories YOU, you in about 3 years from today, when you're at a normal bmi in the 23 to 25 range, how many calories would you be eating as a lightly active to active (which you will be by then) person?

2000? 2200? Quite possibly 2500? Depends on height, age, etc. But highest likelihood is 1850 to 2250

Why don't you spend a few months exploring how you would be eating to maintain at or close to that point of time? Not eating to lose weight today... but eating to maintain as your future you in 2 to 3 years from now.

Doing so may let you make better longer term decisions about trade offs when it comes to what you're eating! And since your current TDEE is quite likely to be above 3K Cal a day... each 500 Cal you come in below it represents about 1/7th of a lb of energy reserves you're drawing out of your body and will no longer have to carry on you!


***I just noticed the desi part of your name. If you control the amount of oil, ghee, quantities of rice and roti, and make sweets an occasional as opposed to a frequent indulgence.. you have one of the best cuisines in the world to explore when it comes to healthy (and within calorie range) eating!

***PS: eating out at restaurants. It will always remain hit and miss. It also depends on frequency. When I was trying to lose weight and maintain a deficit I would specifically order the items I wanted the way I wanted them cooked and **kitten** to the menu (OK: I might have started from a likely menu item; but that's about it). A piece of protein plus veggies in quantity, hopefully without too many sauces and hopefully grilled with minimal oil were my goto...

kshama2001

Here's the book @PAV8888 mentioned that I mention:

This book on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for overeating was available in my library system, so perhaps yours as well.

The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person

Can thinking and eating like a thin person be learned, similar to learning to drive or use a computer? Beck (Cognitive Therapy for Challenging Problems) contends so, based on decades of work with patients who have lost pounds and maintained weight through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Beck's six-week program adapts CBT, a therapeutic system developed by Beck's father, Aaron, in the 1960s, to specific challenges faced by yo-yo dieters, including negative thinking, bargaining, emotional eating, bingeing, and eating out. Beck counsels readers day-by-day, introducing new elements (creating advantage response cards, choosing a diet, enlisting a diet coach, making a weight-loss graph) progressively and offering tools to help readers stay focused (writing exercises, to-do lists, ways to counter negative thoughts). There are no eating plans, calorie counts, recipes or exercises; according to Beck, any healthy diet will work if readers learn to think differently about eating and food. Beck's book is like an extended therapy session with a diet coach. (Apr.)

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Check out episodes of the Half Size Me podcast that relate to binges:

https://www.halfsizeme.com/?s=binge

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Also reach out to your doctor.

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Hugs about being a caretaker and not taking care of yourself. I can relate! Maybe join a support group? I was going to start one Wednesday but my mother made a doctor's appointment for which she needs a ride without looking on the calendar to see that I already had something scheduled for that time >.<

getfitwithdesi

@PAV8888 Thank you for the advice....I currently burn 3100-3400 calories today at rest per day, per metabolic testing...

My original nutritionist had be running at about 2100 calories (I did this for about 6 months), but my doctor in January lowered me to about 1500-1700 calories range. However, I feel like there is a point where my body shuts off and takes revenge on me at about 1800 and refuses to lose weight and starts doing the opposite ...LOL!

**Desi is short for Desiree, I'm Italian/American and healthy eating is not in my jeans (pun intended) (genes). Most of my family is "heavy set"

MaryFloNS

I cross stitch. Have you thought about taking up a hobby to pass the time. Any craft can be found on YouTube to get you started, to show you how to do etc. A hobby is a great way to keep your mind and hands busy and takes you out of the boredom mode. What I also found that helps me a lot, is to get enough sleep. You can get rid of the water retention and maybe burn some fat through the night. At least 8 hours sleep will do wonders. My 1cents worth. Take care and good luck.

mnbvcxzlkjhgfdsa12

@getfitwithdesi Firstly, congratulations on your progress. Losing weight, like gaining weight, is the result of lots of small choices. Changing habits it took a life time to build is hard and it sounds as though you have several challenges to overcome as well as other priorities competing for your time and attention. You’re taking action and every step forward is a big success, be proud of yourself because that helps with motivation to make good choices. 😀

It sounds as though you’re eating out often and also eating lots of prepared meals at home. It is quite possible to do that and lose weight but you seem concerned about sodium, preprepared food often has lots of salt to make it more palatable. Would you consider home cooking? If you make the food yourself you know exactly how much salt is in it because if you didn’t add it then it isn’t there. I cook almost all meals from scratch- not because I have lots of time but rather because I don’t find it takes long and I’m fussy about what I like to eat. If you cut out prepared meals you might find you significantly reduce your sodium without really trying.

Personally I find eating out complicated, but it is possible to make better choices. As for Veggies to have no oil/butter. Request dressings on the side, avoid anything fried. Boiled and grilled are your friend. Portion sizes in some places are enough to feed a family of four (seriously)! Ask for a small portion or get a box when the food is served and take half the portion home.

When it comes to snacking, think about what a better alternative would be and have that ready. For example, I love a bowl of Ice cream at night but that doesn’t fit in my calorie allowance. Instead I buy so delicious ice cream sandwiches, which are 100 calories per package. I budget one sandwich in my calories everyday assuming I will have that everyday. If I don’t eat it some days no problem but if I do I stay on track and it’s just enough to curb my sweet tooth. A healthier or lower calorie version of the thing you want is better than imagining you’re not going to snack or that you’re going to snack on celery sticks. It needs to be something you can realistically stick to- you can always re-evaluate later. If you know you snack in the evening don’t imagine you just aren’t going to do that - most people don’t have the ability to simply stop doing something forever. Instead give yourself an evening snack budget and make different choices at other meals to make that fit in your total calorie allowance.

It sounds like you’re working with a doctor and a nutritionist. The nutritionist should be able to give you advice about how to limit sodium.

PAV8888

getfitwithdesi wrote: »

@PAV8888 Thank you for the advice....I currently burn 3100-3400 calories today at rest per day, per metabolic testing...

My original nutritionist had be running at about 2100 calories (I did this for about 6 months), but my doctor in January lowered me to about 1500-1700 calories range. However, I feel like there is a point where my body shuts off and takes revenge on me at about 1800 and refuses to lose weight and starts doing the opposite ...LOL!

**Desi is short for Desiree, I'm Italian/American and healthy eating is not in my jeans (pun intended) (genes). Most of my family is "heavy set"

I am not able to opine on what your doctor may know about you in terms of suggesting a very aggressive deficit. There may be reasons and your doctor is cognizant of your full history.

In terms of LEAST "side effects" during the weight loss, and specifically in terms of that, I would, personally, not advocate the fastest possible loss; but would advocate "controlled" loss achieving 20%, 25%, maybe 30% deficits... beyond that and beyond a short honeymoon period side effects increase. The range of 1850-2250 that I was talking about made some guesses using averages and tilted them a little bit to the lower end to account for some mis-counting. The 2100 you mention does not seem too far out of that range

That said. There are side effects and there are side effects. And some are more important and concerning to health than others. You could have a dialogue with doctor and discuss reasoning? ask for an appointment with registered dietician? perhaps even one specializing in weight loss or treating ailments such as bouts of over-eating and / or full on bingeing?

Re: family and genes... hey: I spent most of my life either believing myself to be overweight or obese, or BEING overweight and obese. And my family was in the same boat. All controlling and failing to control their weight and doing one sort of extreme attempt or another till it failed and the rebound took place. So... what was the point, of trying since I was always destined to fail, right?

Well... the point was when I started wondering as to why exactly I was planning for retirement in ten or fifteen years... when I was already retired in terms of being unable and unwilling to engage in almost any activity other than eating out. At that point I decided that if I wanted something beyond that... it was up to me to work towards MAYBE establishing some pre-conditions towards that (OK: I am cheating here: at the time all I managed was "I've GOT to try SOMETHING"... the rest evolved when something became something DIFFERENT that hasn't already failed again and again--and eating the least I could while exercising and moving the most I could had failed many times before!)

Some deficit is better than no deficit. A good sized deficit is better than a small sized deficit in a case where there is a lot of weight to lose. A very large deficit, in my opinion, may not help with long term compliance and may make rebounding slightly more likely and abandonment of effort appreciably more likely, so it is not, IMHO, the easiest path to a win. And I believe in tilting the odds in my favour and picking the easiest path possible! However it MAY be medically indicated to avoid worse predicaments! At which point you hold your nose and dive in!

If you are aware that there is a risk, it also helps you manage the risk by being aware of when to back off and when to apply some gas.

BTW the other members of my family remain overweight or obese. I am currently normal weight and have been at a normal weight for going on 6 years now. Genes are one things; but, the environmental components to over-eating are far from minor! Stress, caregiving? Yeah... not minor.

PAV8888

mnbvcxzlkjhgfdsa12 wrote: »

Instead I buy so delicious ice cream sandwiches, which are 100 calories per package.

Fudgesicles and bars based on iced yogurt (Skyr or "greek yogurt" bars) are also in the 100 Cal range... no idea why I would know that a six pack can still be made to fit in my evening budget!