Looking for motivators and communicators!!

bunnyhawk

I lost 50 pounds with myfitnesspal about 7 years ago but have since found myself with weight gain due to a heart condition and perimenopause and my addiction to food. I am under the car of my physicians and am working with a trainer once a week. Looking for friends who can motivate me and interact regularly so i don’t fall back into bad habits or give up when the times start getting tough. Can you help?

springlering62

Sorry. Motivation comes from within.

But, I found reading these boards to be phenomenally helpful. I learned weight loss myths, learned new techniques, became engaged in thoughtful discussions, and when I had tough moments, I boarded Success Stories and the NSV thread to boost me through them.

Set aside ten minutes a day to browse the threads for posts that might be of interest to you and I promise you’ll be amply rewarded.

JBanx256

springlering62 wrote: »

Sorry. Motivation comes from within.

QFT. Not to sound harsh, but if health concerns serious enough to require a doctor's care isn't motivation enough for you, I'm not really sure what a bunch of interweb randos are supposed to contribute. We can "rah, rah" you all day long, but you're the one who has to get out of bed each day and put in the work.

springlering62

Let me rephrase this so we don’t sound snarky. We want you to succeed. I’ve been where you are, where the GERD keeps you up all night and the joint pain keeps you from getting out of the bed without clinging for dear life to the four poster and going hand over hand to reach the other bed post.

But sometimes people have this fantasy that they can hitch their wagon to “motivators” and be towed to better health.

Sadly, it just doesn’t work that way.

I have some lovely friends who throw motivational sayings out all day long. Nice but I scroll past them and I dare say you would, too. Lalalala fingers in the ears.

You’ve got to dig down and find your motivation and observe why and how to make it work for you. Heart problem? Early death? Incapacitation? Lifelong care needs? Is this what you really want for your future, or is the Little Debbie more important in the moment?

I won’t lie, it’s hard at first. Surprisingly, once past the first week or two or three it gets a little easier, little easier, and then you realize you’ve just lost all taste for the things. It’s like the opposite of the frog climbing out of the boiling water. This frog wises up, jumps out of the cauldron and finds a nice healthy pond to live in.

We want you to join us in that nice cool pond.

peggy_polenta

springlering62 wrote: »

Let me rephrase this so we don’t sound snarky. We want you to succeed. I’ve been where you are, where the GERD keeps you up all night and the joint pain keeps you from getting out of the bed without clinging for dear life to the four poster and going hand over hand to reach the other bed post.


But sometimes people have this fantasy that they can hitch their wagon to “motivators” and be towed to better health.

Sadly, it just doesn’t work that way.

I have some lovely friends who throw motivational sayings out all day long. Nice but I scroll past them and I dare say you would, too. Lalalala fingers in the ears.

You’ve got to dig down and find your motivation and observe why and how to make it work for you. Heart problem? Early death? Incapacitation? Lifelong care needs? Is this what you really want for your future, or is the Little Debbie more important in the moment?

I won’t lie, it’s hard at first. Surprisingly, once past the first week or two or three it gets a little easier, little easier, and then you realize you’ve just lost all taste for the things. It’s like the opposite of the frog climbing out of the boiling water. This frog wises up, jumps out of the cauldron and finds a nice healthy pond to live in.

We want you to join us in that nice cool pond.

no what they are looking for is someone to blame and put accountability on when they don't succeed.
"let me make other people responsible for keeping me on track and when they let me down i can blame them" people may not realize this consciously but they are already looking for excuses that will allow them to fail. its human nature.

bunnyhawk

interesting points but I was definitely not looking for friends to blame or be cheerleaders on the daily. I didn’t expect such harsh responses to my post and it’s making me rethink seeking out any friendships outside of the ones i currently have and hold dear. I was under the assumption that this forum was a supportive and kind place for all kinds of folks looking to better themselves. I am on that journey all of 3 weeks and know how important having a strong support network while doing so. I have support outside of the internet and this app but i was seeking out friends to share in this journey. I apologize for coming off in any other way then that:)

springlering62

This forum IS supportive and informative, but also has a tendency to call it as they see it. I’ve occasionally been irritated by that , but also grateful for the blunt honesty.

I’m always curious what people see as motivation when they make posts seeking it.

What would you perceive as motivating?

That’s an honest question, not snark.

Motivation here for me was discovering the Success Stories board and NSV (non scale victories) thread.

The rest has mostly been (very) educational.

IRL motivation was a prescription I didn’t want to take, watching a loved one turn into a bitter, angry bed-bound stranger (if only they’d cared for their health- I watched and learned and vowed not to go that route), and, oddly, the realization that I was approaching the point where I’d be obese for half my life. That really disturbed me.

My IRL friends couldn’t have cared less that I was trying to lose weight. Their eyes still glaze over when the subject of weight comes up, or they see me trying to make a low key but healthy choice when we’re out. I found the boards, with people like me, in the process of carrying out an actual plan of action, to be far more valuable to me.

I sincerely hope you’ll stay and learn and reap as many benefits here as my husband and I have. It’s a very effective app, when used as intended, and imho being engaged on the boards makes your chance of success increase exponentially.

bunnyhawk

motivation for me is seeing that my friends are getting in a workout or sharing a new recipe that i can try. I appreciate you being honest and kind in this thread, I’m getting close to 50 and would like to see another 50 after that and getting healthy is my only ticket to do so:)

springlering62

I feel ya. I turned 60 last week. I lost my first twenty or thirty trying on my own. My dietician recommended MFP and I lost the next sixty or so on the app.

If you add friends, you’ll see their workouts on your friends feed. I have mine turned off. I work out several times a day, and it would just be overkill to report multiple times a day, to the point of being demotivating for the folks who don’t have the luxury of being retired.

A few share recipes. Many share photos of meals and will share recipes if you PM them. Or, if their diary is open, and they’ve saved a recipe in a particular format, you can go in and retrieve it. (That’s how I ofshare with my husband for logging purposes for his account.). I’m totally into experimenting making low cal ice creams, and often post my concoctions. This week is Cherry Limeade ice cream.

2022lynne

You can add me

SavageMrsMoose

You lost 50 pounds 7 years ago? That’s amazing! You did it once, you can do it again.

What I took from your post you were looking for support, rather than motivation. It’s true motivation comes from within, but the last couple years have been hard on everyone and weight loss is tough- if it wasn’t, none of us would be here.

Feel free to add me as a friend. It took courage to start this thread. More of us should ask for help.

elmarie_chambers

Oh my goodness - my first day in this app and reading the comments makes me feel anxious already 🫣. I don’t see the benefit to be on here reading all the harsh unkind comments. I am 55 this year. Been active all my life. Had my thyroid removed when I was only 24 and have struggled with my weight ever since. I exercise daily, tried everything from keto, atkins, 28-day, egg diet and feeling miserable 😭

Will have to go somewhere else for support and motivation 👍🏼😊

Hiawassee88

Peruse through the groups and I'm sure you'll find some like-minded friends. I've been here for 7 years.

Create a strategy you can live with for the rest of your life. It's human nature to crave closure but there's no such thing as the Finish Line. If none of this comes naturally or 'intuitively' for us, we will be wrestling and fighting for
our quality of health for the rest of our lives. I just accept that.

I don't shy away from any food groups. I moderate my portions because I want to intuitively eat all the things.
I have failed spectacularly in the past due to diets that eliminated all kinds of foods. Manufacturers spend millions making their foods enticing and irresistible and overeating them is easily done. Less interfacing with those foods works for me but I don't avoid them. I just wish they didn't have such a powerful pull.

Don't let the scale get to you. It is not the whole picture. However, measuring food portions really does work.

elmarie_chambers

Thank for the tip measure my food portion as of tomorrow:)

dpnikumbhe

Hi how r u all