Yo! From a yo-yo-er

LukeAMarkham

Hello everyone, I’m new (kinda!). I’m a long time lurker on these forums but summoning my 20 seconds of courage to make my first post here!

I want to be more involved in this community as I have noticed that people who are tend to stick it out! Hence the post. I didn’t know what to say or where and figured here was the best place to start and just explain what I am doing and why.

I lost over 30lbs quite quickly back in 2016 to get in shape before my wedding. I had an (expensive!) personal trainer and it was my first ever exposure to health or fitness. I worked out, did the CICO thing using MFP, and was in great shape for our wedding ending at 153lbs at my lowest (honestly a bit too low for me, I’m 6ft and broad.)

Unfortunately I also picked up a lot of poor ways of thinking (“good food” vs “bad food”) and some poor habits (over restricting my calories for fast results). I ended up hurting my back in the gym and having to stop the exercise for half a year. Slowly I started eating more and more, and those bad ways of thinking stuck with me. “I’ve eaten some bad food, that’s the day ruined!”, “I am seeing friends this Saturday so I’ll starting eating right next week”. After a couple of years I started to also emotionally eat loads, then try to crash diet my way back down, and end up feeling sad and eating it all back and more.

So since then I have gained over 100lbs and weighed 256lbs at my highest. I have tried to lose it more times than I can count! I built a shed and made it a home gym, I hired a PT with some birthday savings, I tried slimming world. But none of it stuck and I fell back into the binge eating and watching the pounds pile on year after year.

This time, it feels different! I’m 30 in March next year and it’s been the kick start I felt I have lacked to try to get in shape. My second son was also born last month and I want to be able to be a healthy role model.

I’m a few weeks in and going well, and not finding it as gruelling as I remember! I am doing an amended 531 gym programme I found on r/loseit, walking an hour a day, and I’m trying to stay under 2000kcal while keeping my protein up. I am loosely Intermittent fasting 12-8pm.

That’s me. Thanks for reading this far if you have. Hopefully you will see me posting more often.

avatiach

Just remember, it took a while to gain it, it will take a while to lose it. Don’t rush the process! Slow and steady gives you time to learn better habits.

ianphillips3580

Good luck Luke, it sounds like you have the tools and the mindset.

JBanx256

Welcome, Luke!

lilspider

Nice to meet you! I've recently re-joined myself. Need to burn some weight off and excercise alone ain't cutting it.
Good luck on your journey, you can do it!

Xellercin

This is just my opinion as someone who has lost a lot of weight from obese to lean, and finds it very easy to maintain that loss:

Perhaps stop thinking of exercise as a weight loss activity? I NEVER change my exercise routine based on my weight. Exercise is something you have to do, virtually every day of your life no matter what size or shape you are.

It definitely helps with weight loss, but it also helps with weight gain, and maintenance, and literally every state of life.

So perhaps try focusing on building a really healthy relationship with exercise that centers on doing what you enjoy and looking forward to it as a basic part of your daily self care.

Then there's food. Well, like exercise, you also need food as part of your day to day life. And shockingly, like exercise, I don't really change how I eat.

I ALWAYS eat for maintenance, but maintenance of the size I want to be. So when I was obese, I ate what would maintain a healthy weight, and eventually I got there.

No good foods, no bad foods. No ruining my diet, no "I'll start tomorrow/Monday/next month" BS. My diet is what I eat every day, not something I stop and start.

Every day I make food choices and it's the sum effect of those daily choices that will determine what size my body is. That's it.

I eat well because that's what my body needs to function optimally. Right now, I'm eating suboptimally because I'm away from home and doing house renos and don't have access to a fully functional kitchen. And I'm FEELING IT.

I haven't "ruined my diet" and I don't feel like "eff it, I've already eaten so much pizza, I might as well just keep eating garbage." That makes no sense.

I'm acutely aware that I have eaten lower quality foods, my body is VERY aware. As a result, I'm going out of my way to eat a pile of raw vegetables and lean protein today because I know it will make my body *feel good*. Not because I've been "bad."

I'm still going to keep eating suboptimal foods over the next two weeks, because I'm still living in the same chaotic craziness until mid June. And that's okay. That's a choice I am okay with because I have an excellent relationship with food and I know I'll get back to much healthier eating as soon as I land at my next destination and have a full kitchen and more time.

That's the thing. I'm not doing anything "wrong" right now. I'm just making choices and it's the sum of your choices that leads to outcomes.

As you know, even if you do manage to lose all the weight, it doesn't matter because what you weigh in a year, 2 years, 5 years, etc, will be determined by the sum of your decisions AFTER you lose the weight.

So you might as well focus on the long-term, on figuring out what's sustainable, and how to focus on wellness and thriving for life, because that's what leads to a lifetime of health and easy weight management.

I've managed to maintain a healthy weight for close to a decade. In that time I've become disabled and lost my ability to even walk much, been put on meds that normally make people gain 60+lbs (I gained a bit, but still healthy weight range), and have gone through an entire year of crushing stress.

My health habits are *that* resilient because I don't see healthy habits as a temporary strategy for weight loss.

I eat well and exercise because those are basic, basic responsibilities for maintain a functioning body. Being thin and looking good is just a nice bonus I get for doing a good job of maintaining the most precious asset that I have.

Healthy eating and exercise are how you live your BEST life, they are NOT the punishment you put your body through for not being good enough.

Good luck! Try to enjoy the process, I can tell you that it really *can* be a purely enjoyable process when you eject the diet mentality.

LukeAMarkham

Thanks for the encouragement everyone! I look forward to sticking around and seeing how this goes.

Thank you for your advice Xellercin; I know I have had unhealthy mindsets in the past and you have picked up on lots of them! These are some of the things I am working through and will need to continue to work through to get to a healthier place. Thanks for the advice about how to shift some of them and I hope that one day I will enjoy exercise and healthy eating as much as you. I suspect it will be a gradual change, and I'm pleased to be starting it. It sounds like you have a good mindset and I'm glad you have sorted it all out for yourself.

Sparkuvu

@Xellercin wow, your comment here was extremely sound advice, put in ways I have not seen before, motivating, and very helpful. Thanks for taking the time.