Too funny!!

imagymrat

So, i'm working the floor this afternoon at the gym. This big muscle head comes over to the the leg press machine. I have to give you a visual of this individual so you can truly picture the scenario I had to endure. He's about 5'6 and weighs about 170lbs, he's extremely muscular, a regular in the gym, around 45, bald, from Trinidad, so medium skinned. He wears the gayest outfit I have ever seen on a straight man, or a gay one for that fact, cause they have way too much fashion sense to be caught dead in what poor Everett was wearing. his daily uniform consists of micro mini tight lycra spandex shorts, the kind that the little bum cheeks keep peeking out of, they are always in a very vivid colour, today being grey/purple and blue stripes. He wears a man booby shirt, the tank tops that cut out to show what he believes are superior pec muscles, along with gross hairy nipples!:laugh: he wears beat up old school Nike high tops usually with black tube socks pushed down around his ankles, guess his wife never thinks to buy him anklets..lol. K now you have an idea how he struts around, he thinks his poopy def doesn't stink, he hits on all the women, even though he's married, and has invited me into a threesome with his wife..lol..EWWWWW! anyhow he gives new meaning to the word arrogant and really has no respect for women, if I'm working on the squat rack, he will stand behind and utter dirty things, I ignore him..it's hard to d.o. On to my story, he wants to impress a new trainer by showing her that he can do all 10 plateson the leg press...btw i've already done this, he's way behind :laugh: , so he asks me to spot him, I reluctantly say yes, and only because every other staff member has suddenly become busy..I was cornered! lol...so he gets on people are watching, just as he wants, and when he gets to 10 plates, i'm ready to spot him, out pops one of his berries, right outta the side of his shorts...I nearly died, I couldn't stop laughing, my side was seriously aching..lol, he then had the audacity to ask me to "pop" it back in...FOR REAL!? :sick: :noway: , no way buddy, your berry is on his own, so instead of racking the weights, he straightens his leg to try to put the little fellow back where he belongs, now ive also realized he's commando..EWWWWW not a pretty pic...lol. As his legs are stretched out and his manipulating his package to cover his jewels, his knee gives, and the weight comes down, i'm trying to pull it back,. but c'mon it's 900 lbs, i'm strong, but hey not that strong, so as i'm lifting the rack, and starting to pull the weight off, he tells me in a very annoyed voice, that he has it, he then pushes the weight up, with some serious leg power and let's go the loudest fart i've ever heard, not a little WOOT..a long loud disgustingly wet sounding man fart...the girls at the desk which is about 30 feet away heard it....then the smell hit! LOL...and I was no longer his spot..I bailed, leaving Mr. berry to wallow in his own stench...i'm hoping he's learned a lesson here....but I don't think so! lol....just though i'd share, it's was pretty damn funny!

jackik

Hysterical!

missouri_rain

OMG!! Too funny, I was dying when you were telling about his berry HAHAHA!

johnjely

Oh, jeez. That's too hilarious!

weaklink109

A "berry" FUNNY story, gymrat!!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

MissingMinnesota

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

smuehlbauer

Thank you for that story! I needed a good laugh!

k8tb52

Laughter keeps us young... ... tell him ALL your Pals thank him for his demonstration. LOL

glfprncs2

I literally just picked myself up on the floor and think I also may have strained an abdominal muscle from laughing so hard! THAT is priceless!

4lafz

I am cracking up! Thanks! Now I can't get the visual out of my mind!

DJDUFFY

ROFLMFA,Oh my god,I think i would have died laughing just seeing that.Thanks for that story.

naturebaby

discustingly hilariusand eeeeeww!

chrisdavey

LOLOLOLOL!

sweetn3ss

WOW that is so funny. So how many calories does one burn whilst laughing?

dumb_blondes_rock

I seriously died jsut visualizing the whole thing, you know he has to be soooooo embarassed ...I hate guys liek that so i love it when things that hurt their ego happen. thank you for sharing

antiadipose

omgggg eeewwwwwww loolll this is too funny!! ur story is so vivid i felt like i was there hahaha...

dang.... i go to an eventless gym!

Angela764

omg lol:laugh:

gingerra19800

that had my whole family laughing..i had to read it out loud....r0tflmfa0!!!!!:sad: :laugh: :sad:

anu_6986

Man I hate such guys!!! Disgusting and funny! Poor you :laugh:

hjsyndrome

HA, that's funny stuff right there.

toots99

That is awesome! :laugh: :laugh:

wendywasj

I can't stop laughing! That is just tooo funny! I guess that's what he gets for thinking he's all that! LOL!!! :laugh: :laugh:

radeper

Wow!!! I have worked at a gym before but I have to admit, that is the funniest, most ewww gym story I have ever heard!!! Thanks for the laugh :bigsmile:

adamsojh

WOW! Ive seen some serious losers in the gym, including my time in the Marines(you can only imagine the stupid things that happen) but that is the top story ever. EVER! It's sad that every gym has atleast a few regulars that are that way. It makes the normal guys there look bad.

kwaters7

That is hilarious and one of those memories that you should get erased from the memory bank by hypnotherapy lol

XFitMojoMom

:noway: Good lord!!! :laugh: :laugh:
This is the #1 reason I don't go to a gym!
I wanted to vomit at hairy nips, but the mention of berries, as I'm eating 2 hard boiled eggs...:sick: Thanks gymrat, you ruined my perfect breakie!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

♥jewelchristian♥

Good Lord!! That is freakin hilarious!

I'm truly sorry you had to endure that

~snickering as i go back to my food diary~ No eggs for me tomorrow

Rhaeven

Too funny!!! Thanks for sharing LOL

cparter

You are hurting me.. I am in tears... :laugh: :sad:

trice

fantastic!