I keep failing at losing weight

dex1993

I end up getting myself into a program and working so hard losing about 20 pounds each time then I fall of the wagon, usually because I get busy with work, college and friends (but thats no excuse) this has been going on just over a year now

I need some friendly, helpful, motivating people from the MFP community so please add me and give me any tips and guidance you can

366to266

Clearly, losing weight isn't your top priority. When it is, you'll stick to it.

It's OK - nobody is forcing you to lose weight.

trogalicious

Here ya go.

1. don't trust the initial setup that MFP provides. If you put in the wrong/inaccurate information, it'll tell you to eat an amount that may not be applicable.
2. Make sure you eat enough.
3. Figure out what works for you and is sustainable/healthy/long term.
4. avoid fads. don't buy in to any "Hey, try the twinkie and vodka diet"
5. Don't cut out anything now that you don't plan on literally giving up forever.
6. GET A FOOD SCALE. Weigh everything. No, seriously.
7. Get an HRM with a chest strap. You'll at least have a better idea of what you're burning. It'll be more accurate than the generic info in the exercise database.. and even more than the cardio machines.
8. Don't go balls out. You'll burn out. I see 300 lb people show up here, instantly start working out and cutting their intake SEVERELY... trying to cut out all of their carbs at once.. whatever. Take it slow. Figure out how much you need to eat FIRST in order to lose.. then incorporate exercise.
9. Don't cardio yourself to death.
10. Take the information on the forums with a grain of salt. A lot of people that have been here for a while.. and have been successful, may seem jaded. They give out GREAT advice day after day, only to be met with people that refuse to listen.
11. Eat real food. Not diet food. Not "low fat, sugar free, now without X." It's easier to get/find/count.
12. don't set time restrictions.
13. measure yourself weekly. Don't just weigh. Measure and take pictures.
14 BE PATIENT.
15. Avoid forum topics that have "1200" in the title. It's just full of butthurt. Lots of it.
16. This isn't a game, it's about changing your lifestyle. Do that.

pretty much that.

...and don't fall into the "1200 calorie" vertigo of suck because of:

the typical MFP users does this:
1. I wanna lose weight, let's try MFP.
2. OH! Wow, it tells me I can lose 2 lbs a WEEK? AWESOME!
3. I just sit at a desk when I'm not working out, I guess I'm sedentary.
4. MFP tells them 1200 calories, and they don't even eat that.. then they work out on top of it.. creating an even bigger deficit.
5. Lose a lot, fast, brag about 1200 calorie success.
6. Come back in a few months trying to figure out why they're dizzy, tired, not losing weight.
7. Get on the forums, ask why they aren't losing.
8. Get two responses (I eat 1200 and lose) (I eat 2200 and lose)
9. Argument ensues about who is right.

Now. That being said. These threads happen hundreds of times per day. Most times, and I mean really.. seriously.. 95% of the time.. people get the 1200 number because they don't put the right information in when they set up the account. There are a great number of people that are trying to help. I'm one of 'em.

I'm a hardcore advocate of actually finding out what works for the individual.. by means of other calculators, averages, time, practice, and patience.

Blanket prescriptions of 1200 calories "because it worked for me" is more harmful to the generic new user than the "figure out what you need to eat." Unfortunately, one is a LOT easier to type.

Find out what you need: http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/
Take the tips, links, and info above and make the cart more manageable.

there, OP. Seriously.


Make the "wagon" easier to stay on.

Bull2707

Exellent post from Trog. It takes time to lose weight. 85-90 percent is diet. I am fell time Marine, part time student and have my family with a peting zoo in my house. It is about balance. You can make at least 30 min a day to exercise and that is to maintain.

It is about the balance and making time.

michellekicks

Set your goal to lose slower... give yourself more wiggle room. Set your goal for 1/2 a pound loss weekly, choose a reasonable activity level (i.e. not sedentary unless you're mobility-challenged) and log your food. You won't feel restricted, you'll just feel in control.

In 6 months you'll be down 13-15 lbs and in a year you'll be laughing... and you won't have even noticed you were doing it.

Ninkyou

What Trog said.

MinnieInMaine

I went through the same thing several times. You need to give it some good thought and come up with the "why". For me, it was always deprivation and high expectations. No pizza, no chocolate, no ice cream, no fast food, no carbs, no fat, etc etc. Most diets are a big flashing neon sign that says "NO!" and for me (and quite a few others from what I've read) this may work for a month or so but at some point the cravings are too much and you fall off the wagon and decide it's too hard to climb back on.

Maybe your diet is too strict, maybe your workout routine is too overwhelming. Remember, all things in moderation. Find activities you enjoy so exercising doesn't seem like such a chore and don't feel like you have to hit the gym for hours to make a change, every little bit helps. And instead of completely revamping your eating style, just make small changes. Make your fave recipes but pick healthier ingredients. Still get take-out but limit it to once every week (or two) and make the best choices you can.

And when you fall off the wagon, knowing you just have to make some minor tweaks will make it easier to climb back on.

And yes, you do have to want it enough. Set some solid realistic goals. Not just the typical vanity reason of wanting to be skinnier but real things like lower cholesterol, avoiding genetic diseases like diabetes and heart disease, better balance, better fitness, being able to run in a race - whatever works for you.

It is possible. You can do it!

thepetiterunner

The biggest thing I found helpful when I was really focused on losing weight was simple: Plan for failure.

It's easy to plan to be successful, but the real test is when you, as you said, fall off the wagon. Create some strategies for yourself so when you start to feel yourself slip, you continue on. Set yourself reminders of why you're doing this. Make the commitment to yourself to reach your goals.

And, to be perfectly blunt, when you REALLY want it, you'll do whatever it takes to get it. I'm not saying you don't think you want it now, I'm just saying sometimes we think we've hit rock bottom, when in fact, there are still 5 more levels down to go.

Best of luck to you.

socioseguro

Here ya go.

1. don't trust the initial setup that MFP provides. If you put in the wrong/inaccurate information, it'll tell you to eat an amount that may not be applicable.
2. Make sure you eat enough.
3. Figure out what works for you and is sustainable/healthy/long term.
4. avoid fads. don't buy in to any "Hey, try the twinkie and vodka diet"
5. Don't cut out anything now that you don't plan on literally giving up forever.
6. GET A FOOD SCALE. Weigh everything. No, seriously.
7. Get an HRM with a chest strap. You'll at least have a better idea of what you're burning. It'll be more accurate than the generic info in the exercise database.. and even more than the cardio machines.
8. Don't go balls out. You'll burn out. I see 300 lb people show up here, instantly start working out and cutting their intake SEVERELY... trying to cut out all of their carbs at once.. whatever. Take it slow. Figure out how much you need to eat FIRST in order to lose.. then incorporate exercise.
9. Don't cardio yourself to death.
10. Take the information on the forums with a grain of salt. A lot of people that have been here for a while.. and have been successful, may seem jaded. They give out GREAT advice day after day, only to be met with people that refuse to listen.
11. Eat real food. Not diet food. Not "low fat, sugar free, now without X." It's easier to get/find/count.
12. don't set time restrictions.
13. measure yourself weekly. Don't just weigh. Measure and take pictures.
14 BE PATIENT.
15. Avoid forum topics that have "1200" in the title. It's just full of butthurt. Lots of it.
16. This isn't a game, it's about changing your lifestyle. Do that.

pretty much that.

...and don't fall into the "1200 calorie" vertigo of suck because of:

the typical MFP users does this:
1. I wanna lose weight, let's try MFP.
2. OH! Wow, it tells me I can lose 2 lbs a WEEK? AWESOME!
3. I just sit at a desk when I'm not working out, I guess I'm sedentary.
4. MFP tells them 1200 calories, and they don't even eat that.. then they work out on top of it.. creating an even bigger deficit.
5. Lose a lot, fast, brag about 1200 calorie success.
6. Come back in a few months trying to figure out why they're dizzy, tired, not losing weight.
7. Get on the forums, ask why they aren't losing.
8. Get two responses (I eat 1200 and lose) (I eat 2200 and lose)
9. Argument ensues about who is right.

Now. That being said. These threads happen hundreds of times per day. Most times, and I mean really.. seriously.. 95% of the time.. people get the 1200 number because they don't put the right information in when they set up the account. There are a great number of people that are trying to help. I'm one of 'em.

I'm a hardcore advocate of actually finding out what works for the individual.. by means of other calculators, averages, time, practice, and patience.

Blanket prescriptions of 1200 calories "because it worked for me" is more harmful to the generic new user than the "figure out what you need to eat." Unfortunately, one is a LOT easier to type.

Find out what you need: http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/
Take the tips, links, and info above and make the cart more manageable.

there, OP. Seriously.


Make the "wagon" easier to stay on.

Thank you Trogg.
Your advise should be required reading for all newbies

Have a great weekend:happy:

Trechell89

You can add me. I log in everyday and I would love to help motivate you.

What helped me is to have my goals posted on the fridge. I also put my diet program on there if you're doing a diet program. Then everytime I saw it on the fridge I made smarter choices about what I was eating. I lost 30 pounds doing this.

karensdream

Best.Post.Ever!!!! most solid and concrete advice I have ever seen in the forums to date! WTG Trog!!!

suzannejbolduc

me too except I work my butt off and not much happens. Hope this site makes a difference.

speedgoose

Here ya go.

1. don't trust the initial setup that MFP provides. If you put in the wrong/inaccurate information, it'll tell you to eat an amount that may not be applicable.
2. Make sure you eat enough.
3. Figure out what works for you and is sustainable/healthy/long term.
4. avoid fads. don't buy in to any "Hey, try the twinkie and vodka diet"
5. Don't cut out anything now that you don't plan on literally giving up forever.
6. GET A FOOD SCALE. Weigh everything. No, seriously.
7. Get an HRM with a chest strap. You'll at least have a better idea of what you're burning. It'll be more accurate than the generic info in the exercise database.. and even more than the cardio machines.
8. Don't go balls out. You'll burn out. I see 300 lb people show up here, instantly start working out and cutting their intake SEVERELY... trying to cut out all of their carbs at once.. whatever. Take it slow. Figure out how much you need to eat FIRST in order to lose.. then incorporate exercise.
9. Don't cardio yourself to death.
10. Take the information on the forums with a grain of salt. A lot of people that have been here for a while.. and have been successful, may seem jaded. They give out GREAT advice day after day, only to be met with people that refuse to listen.
11. Eat real food. Not diet food. Not "low fat, sugar free, now without X." It's easier to get/find/count.
12. don't set time restrictions.
13. measure yourself weekly. Don't just weigh. Measure and take pictures.
14 BE PATIENT.
15. Avoid forum topics that have "1200" in the title. It's just full of butthurt. Lots of it.
16. This isn't a game, it's about changing your lifestyle. Do that.

pretty much that.

...and don't fall into the "1200 calorie" vertigo of suck because of:

the typical MFP users does this:
1. I wanna lose weight, let's try MFP.
2. OH! Wow, it tells me I can lose 2 lbs a WEEK? AWESOME!
3. I just sit at a desk when I'm not working out, I guess I'm sedentary.
4. MFP tells them 1200 calories, and they don't even eat that.. then they work out on top of it.. creating an even bigger deficit.
5. Lose a lot, fast, brag about 1200 calorie success.
6. Come back in a few months trying to figure out why they're dizzy, tired, not losing weight.
7. Get on the forums, ask why they aren't losing.
8. Get two responses (I eat 1200 and lose) (I eat 2200 and lose)
9. Argument ensues about who is right.

Now. That being said. These threads happen hundreds of times per day. Most times, and I mean really.. seriously.. 95% of the time.. people get the 1200 number because they don't put the right information in when they set up the account. There are a great number of people that are trying to help. I'm one of 'em.

I'm a hardcore advocate of actually finding out what works for the individual.. by means of other calculators, averages, time, practice, and patience.

Blanket prescriptions of 1200 calories "because it worked for me" is more harmful to the generic new user than the "figure out what you need to eat." Unfortunately, one is a LOT easier to type.

Find out what you need: http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/
Take the tips, links, and info above and make the cart more manageable.

there, OP. Seriously.


Make the "wagon" easier to stay on.

This is the best comment ever.

TinaBean007

I need some friendly, helpful, motivating people from the MFP community so please add me and give me any tips and guidance you can

Best advice I can give you is to make sure you surround yourself with your support network. Friends, family, coworkers, FB friends, MFP friends... find those you can trust to motivate you and encourage. Usually it's those with healthy lifestyles. I'm not just talking about cheerleaders, but real people who you can benefit from. (workout partners, grocery shopping/farmer's market buddies, etc) Build good habits into your routine. Find your weaknesses and eliminate the temptations. Life is always going to happen around you and you will always need to adapt.

Above all... don't be so hard on yourself. There is no wagon to get on an off off... each day is new and the opportunity to improve.

Ryane726

Very well said.

_HeartsOnFire_

Here ya go.

1. don't trust the initial setup that MFP provides. If you put in the wrong/inaccurate information, it'll tell you to eat an amount that may not be applicable.
2. Make sure you eat enough.
3. Figure out what works for you and is sustainable/healthy/long term.
4. avoid fads. don't buy in to any "Hey, try the twinkie and vodka diet"
5. Don't cut out anything now that you don't plan on literally giving up forever.
6. GET A FOOD SCALE. Weigh everything. No, seriously.
7. Get an HRM with a chest strap. You'll at least have a better idea of what you're burning. It'll be more accurate than the generic info in the exercise database.. and even more than the cardio machines.
8. Don't go balls out. You'll burn out. I see 300 lb people show up here, instantly start working out and cutting their intake SEVERELY... trying to cut out all of their carbs at once.. whatever. Take it slow. Figure out how much you need to eat FIRST in order to lose.. then incorporate exercise.
9. Don't cardio yourself to death.
10. Take the information on the forums with a grain of salt. A lot of people that have been here for a while.. and have been successful, may seem jaded. They give out GREAT advice day after day, only to be met with people that refuse to listen.
11. Eat real food. Not diet food. Not "low fat, sugar free, now without X." It's easier to get/find/count.
12. don't set time restrictions.
13. measure yourself weekly. Don't just weigh. Measure and take pictures.
14 BE PATIENT.
15. Avoid forum topics that have "1200" in the title. It's just full of butthurt. Lots of it.
16. This isn't a game, it's about changing your lifestyle. Do that.

pretty much that.

...and don't fall into the "1200 calorie" vertigo of suck because of:

the typical MFP users does this:
1. I wanna lose weight, let's try MFP.
2. OH! Wow, it tells me I can lose 2 lbs a WEEK? AWESOME!
3. I just sit at a desk when I'm not working out, I guess I'm sedentary.
4. MFP tells them 1200 calories, and they don't even eat that.. then they work out on top of it.. creating an even bigger deficit.
5. Lose a lot, fast, brag about 1200 calorie success.
6. Come back in a few months trying to figure out why they're dizzy, tired, not losing weight.
7. Get on the forums, ask why they aren't losing.
8. Get two responses (I eat 1200 and lose) (I eat 2200 and lose)
9. Argument ensues about who is right.

Now. That being said. These threads happen hundreds of times per day. Most times, and I mean really.. seriously.. 95% of the time.. people get the 1200 number because they don't put the right information in when they set up the account. There are a great number of people that are trying to help. I'm one of 'em.

I'm a hardcore advocate of actually finding out what works for the individual.. by means of other calculators, averages, time, practice, and patience.

Blanket prescriptions of 1200 calories "because it worked for me" is more harmful to the generic new user than the "figure out what you need to eat." Unfortunately, one is a LOT easier to type.

Find out what you need: http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/
Take the tips, links, and info above and make the cart more manageable.

there, OP. Seriously.


Make the "wagon" easier to stay on.

This is the best comment ever.

I agree. Why yes it is...

cmacphee3

Here ya go.

1. don't trust the initial setup that MFP provides. If you put in the wrong/inaccurate information, it'll tell you to eat an amount that may not be applicable.
2. Make sure you eat enough.
3. Figure out what works for you and is sustainable/healthy/long term.
4. avoid fads. don't buy in to any "Hey, try the twinkie and vodka diet"
5. Don't cut out anything now that you don't plan on literally giving up forever.
6. GET A FOOD SCALE. Weigh everything. No, seriously.
7. Get an HRM with a chest strap. You'll at least have a better idea of what you're burning. It'll be more accurate than the generic info in the exercise database.. and even more than the cardio machines.
8. Don't go balls out. You'll burn out. I see 300 lb people show up here, instantly start working out and cutting their intake SEVERELY... trying to cut out all of their carbs at once.. whatever. Take it slow. Figure out how much you need to eat FIRST in order to lose.. then incorporate exercise.
9. Don't cardio yourself to death.
10. Take the information on the forums with a grain of salt. A lot of people that have been here for a while.. and have been successful, may seem jaded. They give out GREAT advice day after day, only to be met with people that refuse to listen.
11. Eat real food. Not diet food. Not "low fat, sugar free, now without X." It's easier to get/find/count.
12. don't set time restrictions.
13. measure yourself weekly. Don't just weigh. Measure and take pictures.
14 BE PATIENT.
15. Avoid forum topics that have "1200" in the title. It's just full of butthurt. Lots of it.
16. This isn't a game, it's about changing your lifestyle. Do that.

pretty much that.

...and don't fall into the "1200 calorie" vertigo of suck because of:

the typical MFP users does this:
1. I wanna lose weight, let's try MFP.
2. OH! Wow, it tells me I can lose 2 lbs a WEEK? AWESOME!
3. I just sit at a desk when I'm not working out, I guess I'm sedentary.
4. MFP tells them 1200 calories, and they don't even eat that.. then they work out on top of it.. creating an even bigger deficit.
5. Lose a lot, fast, brag about 1200 calorie success.
6. Come back in a few months trying to figure out why they're dizzy, tired, not losing weight.
7. Get on the forums, ask why they aren't losing.
8. Get two responses (I eat 1200 and lose) (I eat 2200 and lose)
9. Argument ensues about who is right.

Now. That being said. These threads happen hundreds of times per day. Most times, and I mean really.. seriously.. 95% of the time.. people get the 1200 number because they don't put the right information in when they set up the account. There are a great number of people that are trying to help. I'm one of 'em.

I'm a hardcore advocate of actually finding out what works for the individual.. by means of other calculators, averages, time, practice, and patience.

Blanket prescriptions of 1200 calories "because it worked for me" is more harmful to the generic new user than the "figure out what you need to eat." Unfortunately, one is a LOT easier to type.

Find out what you need: http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/
Take the tips, links, and info above and make the cart more manageable.

there, OP. Seriously.


Make the "wagon" easier to stay on.

Thank you for writing this in a way that doesn't sound condescending and sarcastic. I really appreciate it. I went to the website and found if I'm sedentary they suggest 1700ish cal/day, if I'm lightly active (I'm somewhere between the two I think) then 1950ish/day.

If anyone has time, can you suggest to me if I'm sedentary or lightly active? I don't do a whole lot of exerciase while I'm at home, take my dogs out but they run int he yard more often than getting a real walk, and I do some exercise but I find it hard to motivate myself to do it. I do however work a job where I'm on my feet 80-90% of the time, mostly walking around, sometimes climbing stairs or carrying 20lb boxes around. I figured that puts me into lightly active, but then since I sit a lot at home, I wasn't sure.

cmacphee3

Set your goal to lose slower... give yourself more wiggle room. Set your goal for 1/2 a pound loss weekly, choose a reasonable activity level (i.e. not sedentary unless you're mobility-challenged) and log your food. You won't feel restricted, you'll just feel in control.

In 6 months you'll be down 13-15 lbs and in a year you'll be laughing... and you won't have even noticed you were doing it.

I think the reason this is hard to do is that if I did 1/2lb a week, it will take me over 3 years to get where I want. That is a long time to look ahead to, even if it is healthiest.

momxs2

Fantastic post!! Thank you!!

trogalicious

Set your goal to lose slower... give yourself more wiggle room. Set your goal for 1/2 a pound loss weekly, choose a reasonable activity level (i.e. not sedentary unless you're mobility-challenged) and log your food. You won't feel restricted, you'll just feel in control.

In 6 months you'll be down 13-15 lbs and in a year you'll be laughing... and you won't have even noticed you were doing it.

I think the reason this is hard to do is that if I did 1/2lb a week, it will take me over 3 years to get where I want. That is a long time to look ahead to, even if it is healthiest.

...but keep in mind, this isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. You're in this for the rest of your life, there's no need to rush progress if it isn't going to involve a sustainable change.

blindcode

I don't know if this will work for you, but I weigh myself daily after every workout and if my weight is below my last recorded one, I'll put it in there. I also commit 1 hour of cardio a day (currently its run/hike mode treadmill) to my weight loss. i've found that I'm not tempted as much when I have to work out. I take one day off - that's all. And the food I keep light and only eat a small portion. I'm averaging a loss of more than 3.42 pounds per week in weight loss. I eat only beef, fish and FRESH vegetables and fruits. No starch or preservatives (except in dressing on my salad).

Good luck! YOU GOT THIS!!!

cmacphee3

Set your goal to lose slower... give yourself more wiggle room. Set your goal for 1/2 a pound loss weekly, choose a reasonable activity level (i.e. not sedentary unless you're mobility-challenged) and log your food. You won't feel restricted, you'll just feel in control.

In 6 months you'll be down 13-15 lbs and in a year you'll be laughing... and you won't have even noticed you were doing it.

I think the reason this is hard to do is that if I did 1/2lb a week, it will take me over 3 years to get where I want. That is a long time to look ahead to, even if it is healthiest.

...but keep in mind, this isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. You're in this for the rest of your life, there's no need to rush progress if it isn't going to involve a sustainable change.

I definitely get that, but it is still very difficult to say "In a year I'll still be obese even though I'll have been working hard for a whole year. In two years I'll still be overweight, even though I worked very hard for two whole years".. I didn't gain my weight slowly, I can gain 10lbs in a week no problem, so it isn't like I put it on slowly, it is hard to tell myself to take it off that slowly.

I lost weight twice before, and I have to say the second time, which I did slowly over two years was much much easier to sustain, though I never got out of the "overweight" category, I did maintain my loss for two years, before I fell back into overeating to soothe strong negative emotions.

maillemaker

I end up getting myself into a program and working so hard losing about 20 pounds each time then I fall of the wagon, usually because I get busy with work, college and friends (but thats no excuse) this has been going on just over a year now

I need some friendly, helpful, motivating people from the MFP community so please add me and give me any tips and guidance you can

Basically, dieting is an exercise in willpower. You have to stay focused so that you can summon the willpower to deny yourself the pleasure of food and to stay the course through feeling hungry.

There are some people who claim they are never hungry when on a calorie deficit but for me, I think about food all the time. I've been doing this consistently since 4/19/13 and while it gets much easier after the first 6 weeks, I still am hungry all the time. In fact, I've come to accept that the way I know I'm succeeding at a deficit is when I'm hungry. If I'm not hungry, I'm probably not tracking calories accurately.

For me, staying focused is a big part of staying motivated. So I weigh myself every day and I log my food every day. This forces you to pay attention to your weight and your caloric intake. The scale is exciting and motivating to me as I wake up every morning looking forward to a new low.

Get an active friend list here on MFP. One of my biggest motivations is knowing that people are watching me. "Attaboys" are hugely powerful and inspirational.

Sync up your MFP with your Facebook so your weight loss and under-calorie updates are posted to Facebook. Again, your friends will "like" it and this positive feedback lets you know that people are watching you.

If you find yourself falling off the wagon because of succumbing to temptations to eat certain kinds of foods, consider altering your diet to something more boring. You need to disassociate eating with pleasure. It doesn't mean you can't eat for pleasure from time to time, but if your lifelong focus on food has been satiety, that's probably going to have to change.

BohemianCoast

I'd just add one tiny, tiny thing to Trog's awesome advice, which is that if you've got lots to lose, then for almost everyone, there'll come a point where you slip up and screw up, stop logging, let up on the exercise, and start gaining a bit. You sort of need to have a plan for how you are going to get right back on track when that happens. Especially if you have a history of 'falling off the wagon'. For most of us, this is not a linear journey. Gaining a few pounds somewhere along the way doesn't matter. Stopping completely does. Maybe have some close friends primed to give you a kicking?

toni_mmh

Make the "wagon" easier to stay on.

THIS IS IT! Make the 'wagon" easier to stay on. A lifestyle change takes time to take root. Deeply cutting cals is not a lifestyle change.
Scooby's workshop website looks like it's for gym-focused folks but don't let it scare you. The calculators and basic nutrition info is great. It explains TDEE. This is so important to understand and makes the wagon easier to stay on.
MFP is NOT A DIET. It's a way to accept responsibility for the WAY you eat that lasts a lifetime.
Personally, I am not focusing on the scale anymore. I take measurements and record them in MFP so I can see the change... these reflect your efforts consistently whereas the scale can fluctuate for reasons we can't see. I have set Non-scale small to medium goals that I can reach daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly so I can enjoy my new lifestyle and take pride that I am living a healthier, happier life.

michellekicks

Set your goal to lose slower... give yourself more wiggle room. Set your goal for 1/2 a pound loss weekly, choose a reasonable activity level (i.e. not sedentary unless you're mobility-challenged) and log your food. You won't feel restricted, you'll just feel in control.

In 6 months you'll be down 13-15 lbs and in a year you'll be laughing... and you won't have even noticed you were doing it.

I think the reason this is hard to do is that if I did 1/2lb a week, it will take me over 3 years to get where I want. That is a long time to look ahead to, even if it is healthiest.

...but keep in mind, this isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. You're in this for the rest of your life, there's no need to rush progress if it isn't going to involve a sustainable change.

I definitely get that, but it is still very difficult to say "In a year I'll still be obese even though I'll have been working hard for a whole year. In two years I'll still be overweight, even though I worked very hard for two whole years".. I didn't gain my weight slowly, I can gain 10lbs in a week no problem, so it isn't like I put it on slowly, it is hard to tell myself to take it off that slowly.

I lost weight twice before, and I have to say the second time, which I did slowly over two years was much much easier to sustain, though I never got out of the "overweight" category, I did maintain my loss for two years, before I fell back into overeating to soothe strong negative emotions.

Nope. You won't have worked hard if you do it this way. It's easy to maintain a 250 calorie daily deficit. All you have to do is track food. You will BARELY feel like you're doing anything at all.

Once you get a handle on it and feel comfy - maybe after 2-3 months, bump up your deficit to 500 calories daily and try for 1 lb/week. You don't need to jump into the deep end right at the start.

JTutz

The biggest thing I found helpful when I was really focused on losing weight was simple: Plan for failure.

It's easy to plan to be successful, but the real test is when you, as you said, fall off the wagon. Create some strategies for yourself so when you start to feel yourself slip, you continue on. Set yourself reminders of why you're doing this. Make the commitment to yourself to reach your goals.

Wise words.Take this advice. I'm going to take it myself.

Zuzanna100

Same here, I've been trying for 4 years. I lose about 70 pounds a year. Not all at once. Usually 15 or 20 at a time, it's the same pounds being gained or lost and I've tried every mental way to look at things. In order to stay positive, I'll state the I have accomplished NOT GAINING overall any more weight than my highest 4 years ago. Believe me, that IS an accomplishment because if I hadn't have been trying I would most likely need to lose another 100 pounds on top of the 100 I have to lose now. So, never giving up does mean a lot. Eventually, I do it. I hope it's this time.

One thing I DO know and that is not everything works for everybody. Exercise is a smaller priority in my diet because of joint issues but I do some easy ones every day for about 15 minutes (oh, and I know if you don't do at least 20 you're not into fat burning so if you want to burn fat you need to do at least 30)---yeah, I've known this for 30 years and it helped me NOT work out at all! I feel SO much better doing that 15 minutes a day, most days that I look forward to it! When i lose weight maybe I can do more without as much joint problems. Basically, take what you can take from people and blow the others off. They may not realize why you're not heading their advice but YOU know YOU better than anyone!

I've written this for myself, too because as someone who has medical issues, it's easy to "get run off" by 20 something macho males telling you all about their runs, etc....and that you should emulate them. Sure, their are so many people those types WILL help and I hope they do, but again, we're all different. Don't give up and don't get discouraged by a personality type that is not conducive to your goals.