Habits instead of numbers?

opalle

Hi everyone. I'm back again and having a hard time getting motivated.

I first joined back in 2015. I was 187 lbs and thought that was as high as I’d ever get. I was eager and excited to make changes and I was successful in losing over 30lbs, then I stopped logging, quit smoking, and gained back every lb plus an extra 25, so I came back here, thinking again that my weight was high as I’d ever get. Lost some of the weight but, again, got complacent and stopped trying and the weight came back. So now I’m here again and I know I have to get my eating under control and make changes for my health, but I am struggling to find the eagerness I had the past couple of tries. I guess after all this time, I don’t think repeating the same thing is going to work and I’m looking for something different.

I really would rather not focus on the scale this time. Instead, I’d rather focus on making permanent lifestyle changes one small step at a time even if it means it takes longer to achieve a healthy weight. I have no set time frame. I’d really like to make the switch to a Mediterranean style of eating. I think it would be best for my health and I enjoy the food but I haven’t been able to find any good resources on how to make these changes slowly and permanently. Most are offering quick weight loss solutions which is a red flag to me.
Does anyone have any resource suggestion for taking this kind of route where the focus is habits instead of numbers?

nossmf

Can't speak towards a Mediterranean (or any other) diet, but habits take weeks to successfully ingrain in most cases. In addition, trying to adopt too many habits at once will undermine most success. Unless your doctor tells you to make sweeping, whole-sale changes all at once, look to implement one new habit at a time, give it time to take root, then start another. For example:

August 1: allow yourself to keep drinking sodas, but you have to drink an equal volume of water first
September 1: keep the August habit, but now designate one meal per day (either lunch or dinner) where you drink only water (drink whatever you normally do the other meal)
October 1: etc

Some small habits can take as little as a couple weeks to become normal habits; larger ones can take up to three months of continuous effort. A good rule of thumb is to add one new habit per month, without giving up previous habits. At the end of the year, look at a list of everything you've changed during the course of the year; it can be eye-opening.

sollyn23l2

There are many of them, but you don't need them if you'd like to try Mediterranean, try it. Google it. It's a way of eating, not a plan. You start eating more whole grains, vegetables, and fish. Fewer highly processed foods and red meats. There are an infinite supply of recipes online.

opalle

nossmf wrote: »

Can't speak towards a Mediterranean (or any other) diet, but habits take weeks to successfully ingrain in most cases. .

Thank you. You've pretty much explained exactly what I'm looking for. Baby steps that stick.

jeri30

Link the habit you want to develop to a habit you want to keep (habit linking/stacking). Like if you take pills in the morning but tend to forget them than try linking them to brushing your teeth (either before or after). That way that habit (the first one) is a reminder of the 2nd one (like get up brush your teeth, take your meds with your glass of water and that's 3 habits right there if you count the glass of water as your third habit). Also make it simple to start. You might want to google habit stacking for more info.

Also, just google simple Mediterranean Cooking/Diet/Recipes.

Xellercin

Atomic Habits is a decent book for explaining how to change behaviour.

But basically, the idea is that you figure out what isn't working for you, why, and then adjust things slowly to make the way you want to live easier.

So for example, one of the things I did was I kept raw, chopped veggies in water in the fridge at all times. If I felt snacky, I had to have a bowl of raw veggies first. By the time I was done, I was usually so full of fiber and so sick of chewing, I didn't want another snack.

Eventually, this just cured me of snacking altogether. I don't snack unless I legitimately need more food in that moment, which I rarely do. And if I do, I still keep raw veggies in the fridge, and also hummus and hard boiled eggs, which are nice a filling.

For meals, I started with breakfast. I spent a while figuring out the easiest, most filling breakfast options, and then stuck with that until it became automatic.

Then I started tackling the other meals, one by one, little by little. I would try one new recipe a week, and slowly migrated all of my cooking over to a completely new way of eating.

I also have studied behavioural psychology extensively, so I understood that the brain tends to crave whatever it can get quickest.

As a result, I stopped keeping any convenience food in the house and started batch cooking healthy meals. This way, the only "convenience" food available is nutritious.

I *could* have cookies and pizza, but I would have to go to the store to get them. Or I could have a pre-portioned, nutritious meal that's just a few minutes of microwaving away from being hot and ready to serve.

I didn't do all of these changes at once, I did them incrementally over a year. But they've been my "normal" for years, it would actually take effort to *not* eat this way now.

mlrtri

I am focusing on building better habits as well. I started small and they just kept building on each other. The more mindful I became of my eating and how my body reacted and the more research I have done the more I have changed my way of eating. That’s how I know I have it figured out this time. I am changing my way of life - not just counting calories and following rules temporarily just to return to my old ways. I feel great. I am watching the scale. I tried not to but I didn’t have that in me. But my focus is on fueling my body with what it needs, getting movement and activity in, and the scale is trending downward. I believe if I had jumped right into the deep end with this I would have failed. It has helped me that I eased into it and now I WANT to keep going and improving.

opalle

Xellercin wrote: »

Atomic Habits is a decent book for explaining how to change behaviour.

But basically, the idea is that you figure out what isn't working for you, why, and then adjust things slowly to make the way you want to live easier.

Thank you so much. You seemed to have had success in what I’m looking to do. Congratulations on making those changes! I’ll be checking out the book. Snacking is the first place I have to tackle. I have been back to logging and I’ say 80% of my extra calories comes from snacking, normally at night and normally not healthy. The rest is overeating at meals. I do cook fairly healthy, I love cooking and rarely eat out, but healthy food will still add pounds if you eat too much. I’ve discovered the hunger/fullness scale and can see it being a useful tool to stop eating when my body has had enough instead of when I’m stuffed. Thank you again for your insight. 😊

kshama2001

You've had lots of good suggestions about habits, so I will focus on the Med diet. My library system has over 100 titles on the subject, so yours might be a good resource as well.

Xellercin

opalle wrote: »

Xellercin wrote: »

Atomic Habits is a decent book for explaining how to change behaviour.

But basically, the idea is that you figure out what isn't working for you, why, and then adjust things slowly to make the way you want to live easier.

Thank you so much. You seemed to have had success in what I’m looking to do. Congratulations on making those changes! I’ll be checking out the book. Snacking is the first place I have to tackle. I have been back to logging and I’ say 80% of my extra calories comes from snacking, normally at night and normally not healthy. The rest is overeating at meals. I do cook fairly healthy, I love cooking and rarely eat out, but healthy food will still add pounds if you eat too much. I’ve discovered the hunger/fullness scale and can see it being a useful tool to stop eating when my body has had enough instead of when I’m stuffed. Thank you again for your insight. 😊

If late night snacking is a major problem for you, then I would first assess what unmet need you are actually trying to meet with late night snacking?

The human brain and body are pattern generators and followers, so it could be a simple fact that years of snacking at night has created a feedback system that triggers intense hunger signals at night. It could be as simple as just stopping this pattern to get rid of the trigger over time.

However, it could be more than that. There could be an emotional contributor to the pattern. How do you feel at night when this happens? Does it feel like a comforting thing? How is your mood before, during, and after? Are there any coping skills that might actually be more effective to handle whatever feelings come up that you self medicate with food?

These are important things to understand.

For example, I can develop overwhelming sugar or wine cravings depending on my behaviour, but they have very different causes and therefore different solutions.

My sugar craving is purely physiological, I have zero emotional triggers for eating sugar. If I eat sugar a few days in a row, I invariably crave it like crazy, and the more I eat, the worse the craving gets. The simple solution is that I don't eat much sugar regularly. I can have it, but never 2 days in a row, and never more than twice a week. As long as I follow those parameters, I can thoroughly enjoy a piece of cake or some ice cream and not worry about cravings.

If I don't follow those rules and the cravings rage up again, I just avoid sugar for 6 weeks and everything is back under control as my system readjusts to not having the triggering input.

Wine on the other hand? That was driven largely by stress and an attempt to self medicate that stress away after work. Tackling that required understanding how my stress works and developing healthier coping skills to decompress after work. Without the better tools to handle the stress trigger, I failed over and over at trying to just abstain. I could never make it 6 weeks, I would snap.

So sugar I can just cold-turkey and deal with it, but alcohol required supports. Also, as I said, I can thoroughly enjoy a big bowl of ice cream and have no issues, but it's best that I just not drink alcohol, since my relationship with it is emotionally complex.

Can you just *stop* snacking at night for a period of 6 weeks and see how your mind and body respond? If you *can't* abstain for 6 weeks, then it's best to start considering emotional/mental health supports to build in more behavioural resiliencies.

Too many people are quick to blame themselves and feel like failures when a given approach doesn't work, but that's not very useful. Instead try to approach with a sense of curiosity and problem solving, and determine *why* your behaviour isn't matching your intention. Hint: it's not because you're "weak" or lack "willpower," it's because there's an identifiable barrier in your way.

HoneyBadger302

Mine is more of a "life change" than just a diet/weight, but fitness and health are something I want to prioritize more than I have.

It's still slow changes, but I started a daily "Win the Day" critical task list. Depending on my commute time for that day, I choose 3-5 critical tasks I need to complete before going to bed. These can be small! Sometimes it's as simple as "talk through my goals/visualization for 10 minutes during my commute," other times it may be something that takes 30-60 minutes. Sometimes just "get to bed on-time/early."

The point of it is to be sure I 'touch' the important areas of my life, understanding I can't build Rome in a day, but if I start missing days, it'll never happen either. For me, this has been transformative, and even when things are crazy, helps me stay more focused on where I want my life to go than I have historically ever maintained.

My only regret is not starting this 25 years ago!! Any single day is never overwhelming, in your case it may be "spend 15 minutes researching Mediterranean recipes" or "go for a 15 minute walk" or "do not buy any prepared sweets while grocery shopping today." Just for some ideas for this specific thing

sollyn23l2

"Can you just *stop* snacking at night for a period of 6 weeks and see how your mind and body respond?",

I think this is a gross oversimplication. If your average person could just "stop", then they would and we wouldn't have a nationwide obesity problem. As you said, it's a matter of figuring out why they're driven to eat to excess, and deal with that by developing coping mechanisms.

opalle

sollyn23l2 wrote: »

"Can you just *stop* snacking at night for a period of 6 weeks and see how your mind and body respond?",

I think this is a gross oversimplication. If your average person could just "stop", then they would and we wouldn't have a nationwide obesity problem. As you said, it's a matter of figuring out why they're driven to eat to excess, and deal with that by developing coping mechanisms.

I don't think the intent was to make it sound like it was simple for people to change. I took it as saying I should be aware that if it isn't simple for me, other issues can be at play and I agree. Some people can stop snacking at night easily. My husband, for example, doesn't struggle with eating when he wants to shed some weight. However, he does have a harder time giving up the beer, while I can not have a drink for months without even thinking about it. Everyone is different. Since this is something I need to do to get my health back on track, I'll soon know how much of a struggle it will be. I know in the past when I lost weight, I just included a healthy snack at night and made room for it when I did meal planning but I think this time, based on what I know about why I put the weight back on, and if I want to make changes that stick, think I need to eliminate tne night eating entirely.

ChickenKillerPuppy

First of all, bravo for deciding to focus on small, sustainable habit changes. That is definitely the way I have changed my life and kept off the 60 pounds I lost for about 10 years now (after only knowing how to lose or gain my whole life).

Two resources that I would recommend that really helped me (and still help me) are the podcasts Half Size Me and We Only Look Thin. Both podcasts support making small, sustainable changes to your habits so you can create a lifestyle that you enjoy and that fits your health goals. They are invaluable to my continued ability to maintain.

springlering62

I read one time that it takes six weeks for a habit to form, and that six week timeline has always stuck with me.

Habits aren’t formed immediately, and like weight loss, you’ll have those moments when you fall off the wagon.

But when I’m trying to form one, I allow myself six weeks to do so, including the glitches.

At the end of six weeks, it’s generally a habit and if not, I reevaluate to see why not. Was it too much at once, was I obsessing, what could I have done differently?

opalle

ChickenKillerPuppy wrote: »

Two resources that I would recommend that really helped me (and still help me) are the podcasts Half Size Me and We Only Look Thin. Both podcasts support making small, sustainable changes to your habits so you can create a lifestyle that you enjoy and that fits your health goals. They are invaluable to my continued ability to maintain.

Thank you so much. I love podcasts and will definitely check those out. And 10 years keeping 60lbs off is a great accomplishment. You're an inspiration!