Feeling crappy after a comment from my manager today...

elmieeee

I've been working from home since the panemic but also went through anxiety for the first time during that period as had lived abroad for 5 years with no family/friend support etc then return home to the UK and 6 months later convid hit - I eventually accepted medication after exhausting all other avenues (CBT therapy, anxiety books, anxiety workbooks, kalms tablets, oils etc) which my workplace was aware at the time.

I gained weight due to not beign able to go out due to anxiety and being able to work from home (went from a UK size 8 and always been small and now a size 14)

I went into the office today as I do once a month for the post but with with the manager of my team during that time and she pullecd me aside as I went to leave and she went on about how they she has a duty of care etc and proceeded to ask if I was pregnant!!!

I've already been feeling so low about the weight gain and haven't known where to even start loosing it as before working from home going into the office meant over 10k steps a day as I don't drive then working from home, anxiety hitting and not getting the steps I used to I just feel even worse than I did now.

I know she probably didn't mean any harm by it - I just recently got a promotion so she was probably more concerened I'd gone up on thr ladder and could be taking significant leave but it doesn't make me feel any crapper than I'd already been feeling

I guess I just needed a little vent more than anything!!

ninerbuff

So hopefully you take that as a wake up call to put together a plan on how to get yourself back. So many people today put their health as a non priority over everything else until someone or something gets them to realize that they haven't being paying that much attention.
There's really no way to put it mildly since anyone that's told they looked like they've gained weight will feel like crap. It's what you do with it that's going to dictate how you handle it. Hopefully it's being more comitted to improving your health and taking the steps that direction. Good luck.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Sinisterbarbie1

Two thoughts … yes, you can use the comment as motivation to get healthy, but you already knew you need to do that, so you didn’t need the manager’s help.

Second, it is illegal for a manager to inquire about your pregnancy status. It is illegal to make job/promotion/hire decisions on your family status - married/not kids/not etc. If your manager had a discussion with you suggesting that he/she had a “duty of care” to the organization and was worried you would take leave or you would not be capable of doing your job if you were pregnant or had kids or that you might not be considered for the same projects etc. you have a bigger problem than a manager who is “just” inappropriately commenting on your weight.

ETA : i am in menopause now, but when I was in childbearing years whether I was fat or not people would ask me if I was pregnant ALL THE TIME. I would wear a slightly baggy sweater or an a-line dress and eyebrows would be raised. So if you want to give your manager the benefit of the doubt maybe you are of the age that everyone is just eager for you to be pregnant! (I still felt crappy every time it happened to me no matter how thin I was, and it is a terrible thing for people to do anyway bc i had several miscarriages during that time period so you never know what the person you rudely and intrusively bombard with observations about their body is going through). Sending hugs.

corinasue1143

Also sending hugs. Of course it’s hard when someone kicks you when you’re down. Wishing you the strength to get back up and live your life the best way possible. And I wish you the best handling the anxiety. 🤗