Is marriage/monogamy dead?

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iggy93
iggy93 Posts: 90 Member
in Chit-Chat
As the title says, is marriage/monogamy dead? With divorce rates at around 50 percent(last I checked), hook up culture running rampant, and alot of infidelity, can anything work nowadays? Were we as a species ever meant to be monogamous?
What does the future hold for relationships/marriage?

Would love to hear everyone's thoughts 🤔
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Replies

  • ElMeroKeeQue
    ElMeroKeeQue Posts: 542 Member
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    No. But I do know a few people who are living a very open poly relationship and the primary two are about to get married. Way too complicated for me to see how and if they have kids but I also know someone who was born out of a poly relationship. I don’t know her well.
    There’s enough data to say that the leading cause of divorce is marriage. But there’s not much to say the leading cause of lasting marriages and monogamous relationships. It’s pretty subjective.
  • ermengarde22
    ermengarde22 Posts: 2,116 Member
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    divorce? in this economy??
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,042 Member
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    ermengarde22 wrote: »
    divorce? in this economy??

    It do be a beotch for real doe
  • ermengarde22
    ermengarde22 Posts: 2,116 Member
    edited November 2022
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    Peachesnstuff wrote: »
    I'm a macaroni penguin, just haven't found my soul penguin.

    I used to be human, but I couldn't find another faithful human

    I'll stick with penguins bc I love to show affection, and birds are 90 percent faithful to their partners.

    Besides, penguins aren't allowed in divorce court anyway

    i’ll be your penguin
  • Peachesnstuff
    Peachesnstuff Posts: 1,261 Member
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    ermengarde22 wrote: »
    Peachesnstuff wrote: »
    I'm a macaroni penguin, just haven't found my soul penguin.

    I used to be human, but I couldn't find another faithful human

    I'll stick with penguins bc I love to show affection, and birds are 90 percent faithful to their partners.

    Besides, penguins aren't allowed in divorce court anyway

    i’ll be your penguin

    I have found my soul penguin. Monogamy is NOT dead! ♥️♥️

    ns4c76awndf9.gif

  • Xellercin
    Xellercin Posts: 924 Member
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    Are you under the impression that marriages were happier and healthier at some point in the past?

    If so, I strongly recommend that you read up about the history of monogamous marriage in the western world. It's a pretty messed up history actually.

    Most relationships are not built to last forever, and that's okay. The benefit now is that people have the ability to leave marriages that are not working, they aren't stuck in them until they die.

    FTR, I'm very happily married and have been for years in a marriage that just keeps getting better over time. But this is a second marriage, so yeah, I have no problem seeing divorce and monogamy as totally compatible things. I'm in a tremendously committed, monogamous, wonderful marriage only because divorce is possible.

    Just don't expect most relationships to last forever, and try not to see that as a bad thing. It's a good thing when relationships that should last end. It's also a WONDERFUL thing when people who are great together find ways to grow together through life's ups and downs.

    Just expect that to be rare. Because it is. And it might take more than one try to get it right.
  • SafariGalNYC
    SafariGalNYC Posts: 907 Member
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    Married and monogamous here for 9 years. Deeply in love and happy I found my mate. We travel the world together and he is also my best friend. So to answer the question.. yep marriage is alive and well!
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,042 Member
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    Revolu7 wrote: »
    I try not think as a group thinker. Marriage is dead for only those that think that even if its a high percentage. Marriage is alive and well for thise that think that even if its a low percentage. If i wanted to get married i dont give a rats *kitten* if everyone around me said it is crazy to do. And if someone i knew thought marriage was horrific so be it, im not about to make a case otherwise. Im not invested in other peoples opinion. Live your life and you will find out where you stand on all the topics that arise. Just have the courage to stand up for your beliefs and those stats dont really matter.

    It boils down to the saying - whether you think you can or you can’t - you’re right
  • OpheliaCooter
    OpheliaCooter Posts: 1,635 Member
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    The never ending issue on my mind, this. I always feel split about it personally.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
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    TwitchyMagee wrote: »
    Living well single is better than mediocre monogamy

    In Italy they say "Meglio solo invece di mal accompaniato". Translated: "Better to be alone than in bad company".

    However, if you are able to find your soulmate to share the ups and downs of life, it's a win-win.
  • justlog2day
    justlog2day Posts: 44 Member
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    For me - it's alive. Approaching 32 years with the same amazing lady... Wouldn't have changed a single thing and looking forward to the next phases of life.
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,042 Member
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    d. Happiness comes in so many forms that the worn in ruts that so many people fall into seem not so much a choice as something they think they’re supposed to do

    Agree with this 💯- from my own personal experience -
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
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    TwitchyMagee wrote: »
    snowflake954 wrote: »
    TwitchyMagee wrote: »
    Living well single is better than mediocre monogamy

    In Italy they say "Meglio solo invece di mal accompaniato". Translated: "Better to be alone than in bad company".

    However, if you are able to find your soulmate to share the ups and downs of life, it's a win-win.
    I don’t believe in soulmates but I believe we make the best choices we can 😊

    ETA: but it’s more than that. For some people being alone is a joy so that even good company is just a variation rather than an enhancement.

    The idea of a committed relationship being the culmination of something irritates me. Having monogamy and marriage being a goal seems twisted. Happiness comes in so many forms that the worn in ruts that so many people fall into seem not so much a choice as something they think they’re supposed to do

    If you and another human choose monogamy and are happy with it that’s wonderful but I believe it should be a choice and not an expectation

    What I have seen here (Italy) is that single is fine--until you get old and sick, especially without children. My husband saw so many people that are alone coming to him (his job includes estate planning) and had no one to care for them or leave their property to.

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