Tired of it all

Feenix67

Here I am, over 50, divorced (that's a good thing) and rolling into empty nest world. Missing my kids, over worked, stressed over financial burdens and lonely. How do I stop the stress eating, sad eating, lonely eating, worry eating? I feel bad, my body doesn't like me anymore and I hate the scales. I want to find a better place but how do I break this cycle of comfort eating???

--Feenix

2tryharder

Hi Feenix, I went through the same thing last year after losing my job. I've gained 20 lbs in 6 months I think we have to focus on something besides eating, like going for a walk, cleaning the house or something. I get "stuck" watching TV, drinking, eating. My goal is to do something else when I feel like being stuck.

Jthanmyfitnesspal

I'm adjusting to an empty nest life as well. Still married. We've downsized our house, moving to a town not far from the prior. It's been stressful and a little depressing. I've gained some weight that I want to lose. I'm being forced to change some of my habits.

My goals this year are to do more group activities. (A way of saying "be more social," but with specific action.) Basically, sign up for a bunch of in-person stuff. One thing I want to try is one of those pay-to-play trendy fitness classes for older gents. I'd like to do a group winter hike with our local oudoors club. I also want to do something in the mindfulness category, like a meditation class. There's a local choir that I hope to sing in. I figure that if I sign up for all of it, I'm bound to like some of it, and it sure beats hanging around the house watching short vids on the phone!

The New York Times has been running a series of articles called "The Happiness Challenge." I know that most people don't want to pay for a news site these days (I would not live without it), so here's todays suggestion in a nutshell:

---

Day 2: The Secret Power of the 8-Minute Phone Call

[...]

At the appointed hour, I gave her a ring. In short order, we talked about our mothers’ health, made birthday plans, gossiped about a friend who abruptly quit his job and moved to a tiny Mexican town, traded book recommendations and explored the possibility of an afterlife (verdict: we’re not sure). Intently focused, we knocked out subject after subject, before Tina announced that our eight minutes were up — and besides, she had arrived at the dry cleaner’s.

I hung up, smiling and humming a little tune. I had missed her, and didn’t realize it until I heard her voice. I was also surprised by how much ground we covered without the call feeling rushed. Our connection was brief, but it was real.
Best of luck!

ninerbuff

You just have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired. You have opportunity to change your life if you WANT to. There are 8 trillion people out in the world. There's at least 100,000 out there that will accept you as you are. But you have to make the search for them. Quit the pity party and do something about it cause just stewing in it DOES NOTHING, but lead you down a bad path.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

snowflake954

Time to dry your tears and buck up. You can make a new life---make new friends, do new activities, etc. It's time to try new things. There's so much out there. There are book clubs, cooking classes, art classes, dancing classes, fitness centers with all their activities and classes,.....the list goes on and on. Going for a walk is cheap and healthy.

So stop moping and get going. Open the door--life is out there.

oakster69

Find some ways to stay busy. I find if I am in the house and on the computer or watching TV, I am also snacking and get carried away. When I am busy doing other things, like cleaning the garage, washing the car, reloading ammunition, going to the range, walking the dogs or training the dogs, the time goes by much quicker and it is much easier to stay on goal. I would make a few goals and choose a few habits that can occupy your time. Start small and add as it gets easier. Something as simple as ready or working on spreadhseets etc could work if you stay busy. Take some time to go to the gym and walk or walk outside if the weather is right. Maybe even try cooking healthy.... taking the time to research healthy meals, shop for healthy food and cooking the healthy food can take up the time to help keep your goals.

loumoon5

I hear you. You spend your life mothering your child(ren) and forget to take care of yourself. This year, put yourself first. Establish healthy routines and realistic fitness goals. Find something that motivates you to stick to your routines. Reward yourself with something other than food when you meet milestones - a trip to the movies, a new blouse, a TV binge. It's hard holding yourself accountable, but you'll respect yourself in the morning.

88olds

Try this- Take up walking. If you don’t live in a walkable neighborhood, find a walkable park. Don’t think I’m terms of burning calories, don’t start out counting step. Don’t try to power walk. Just get up, out and moving.

Why? It fights depression. It builds confidence. It’s a good habit and will strengthen your habit building skills. That’s right, good habit building is a skill set. And if you want to go down this road, the lessons of regular exercise can be reverse engineered into weight loss.

Just get out and walk at a comfortable pace for as long as it feels good. Be careful with your feet. Wear good shoes and socks. Slow and steady wins the race.

And this- lookout for the voice in your head. It will try to wreck you. If it’s telling you right now this is nonsense push back. You don’t know until you try. If you get into it, the voice will try to tell you to always go faster and harder. You don’t need to. Stay in your comfort zone. Some day you might find yourself dreading going walking. It’s ok. Do it anyway. Make a deal with yourself to only do 1/2 of your usual walk. Something is always better than nothing. Establish good habits and defend them. Good luck.