For the ladies - Embracing gray hair after years of dying--have you done it?!

nay0m3

Gray hair popped up when I was mid 20s and I never had any other than thought than "Let's get rid of that ASAP!" and so I began dying my dark brown hair! I am turning 45 this year and along with my continued focus on being my best and keeping fit and healthy and strong, I am truly considering STOPPING the hair dying every 3-4 weeks. I am scared as hell, but I want to embrace my body in every way and continue on this journey of learning to love myself. I am curious if other ladies have done this and what method you chose and how your journey was.

scoutmom1981

I started to go grey when I was in high school. I have been coloring as well. I decided last year that I was going to grow it out and embrace it. I grew it out for several months. When I went to get a trim my hairdresser asked if I was purposely doing a two tone. Apparently I am only growing grey on the top of my head. All my hair in the back was brown. How stupid would that look? So I am back to dyeing it again.

Yoolypr

There comes a point when dyeing your hair just looks odd. You know those guys in their 70s with odd reddish brown Just For Men thinning hair? For women it varies of course. But eventually your skin tone changes and the dye job just looks weird. And the dye chemicals aren’t good either. I stopped coloring my hair around age 50. It was gray long before that. I cut it short and got it trimmed often until it grew out.

What convinced me is looking at photos of myself over the years. Who was I kidding? It just wasn’t looking believable anymore. The freedom of embracing my real self was wonderful. And people have complimented my healthy and shiny gray hair! Besides I’ve saved time and lots of money.

nay0m3

Oh yes @Yoolypr I know exactly what you mean about the Just For Men color

I am going to be 45 this year and I think I am ready. I am nervous for a wedding I have to attend and a vacation I am going on but there will ALWAYS be something I am telling myself. And time flies!!

@scoutmom1981 I am wondering if I will get to that place where I just give up and decide to dye it again. I will never know if I don't try! I am considering have it all dyed to be white and gray but then it would look weird if the dark hair grows back in and I have read that it wrecks your hair!

katemcd495

I got my first gray hairs at 23. I decided to stop dying this summer since I was coming up on 40.

I don't hate the color. It isn't bad, but I'm honestly struggling with the change in texture. It is frizzier now than ever.

I'm trying to decide if I want to go back to dying or get a keratin treatment. I'm so torn about this. I'm think when I hit my goal weight 11 lbs from now I will go in and talk to the hair dresser.

I'm just not sure what I want right now. I have a whole conflicting thought process on it all. I even laughingly suggested I might go to a therapist because the amount of feelings I have about my stupid hair seems way out of proportion with reality.

Sorry if that's no help.

cupcakesandproteinshakes

I’m 49, been colouring my hair for 20 years. I think grey hair is lovely. But I also really love the colour my hair is at the moment and I also love my hairdresser. I don’t know whether I can put up with growing it out.
My mum actually bleached her hair then put a grey colour on it before she grew it out. It looks fab. Just not sure about bleaching my hair. It’s quite dry.

nay0m3

@katemcd495 What color is your hair naturally and is it naturally straight or curly?

What if you try doing a treatment first before dying again? John Frieda makes a great defrizzing serum.

@cupcakesandproteinshakes What color is your hair? I love my hair also and feel conflicted about letting it go gray but also just don't want to spend the time and money and have all the chemicals constantly and it just feels empowering to go gray!

I have heard about bleaching your hair and then dying it and I have thought of doing that but I have long dark hair to my mid back and feel like it would be expensive and time consuming but I also love the thought of not having that harsh grow out line that people always refer to as a skunk!

Hiawassee88

Home dye jobs tend to be very harsh on the hair. You can spot them, because the hair looks like straw. Long, thin dyed hair does not make you look younger. Out here in the harsh elements, women do keep their long hair way past its' expiration date. It's aging.

Men can always get away with grey hair. Cowboys used to use shoe polish. This was before Just For Men. Hair is a really big deal in my family. The men don't have male pattern baldness. Still striking and handsome. Bald can be great, unless you're a woman.

It's entirely personal. If you're comfortable with grey hair, own it.

ADC0809

I have some gray sprinkled all over but the ones that get to me are around the front, my temples, etc.. I do try and work with it but sometimes they just don't work for me when I look in the mirror. I try and dye all my hair about twice a year and sometimes use the little coverage stuff like mascara for your hair. I was using the Just for Men but now that irritates my skin. If I had more gray all over it would be easier to accept, the ones in the front almost glisten I guess they are more white than gray.

MsCzar

IMO 45 is much too young to give up on keeping a colour that reflects your relatively young age. I work in a business where pretty much every woman - including myself - scrupulously keeps up her colour and often augments her look with artificial hair. I not only color, but employ hair pieces to not look like the limp-locked greying creature I am. I do allow a little grey at my temples as a nod to my real age and my chestnut brunette is now a soft butternut brown.
I have a same-age friend who has stopped dying her hair and embraced her grey. Ugh! She is constantly telling everyone how happy she is with her natural look and is always fishing for validation and compliments. Uhh... you look... umm... happy?

Hiawassee88

Hair is a touchy subject. I know a man with white, beautiful hair. When he's in the room, your eyes are riveted onto him. Striking. Wherever he goes, he exudes this white aura-halo. White hair with searing blue eyes is a bold combination.

You sure don't want to ask your family for their opinions. Friends and coworkers will seldom tell you what they think about your hairdo or color. It's probably best to leave that job to a stylist.

Elvis used a combination of Miss Clairol 51D and Black Velvet/Mink Brown.

AnnPT77

nay0m3 wrote: »

@katemcd495 What color is your hair naturally and is it naturally straight or curly?

What if you try doing a treatment first before dying again? John Frieda makes a great defrizzing serum.

@cupcakesandproteinshakes What color is your hair? I love my hair also and feel conflicted about letting it go gray but also just don't want to spend the time and money and have all the chemicals constantly and it just feels empowering to go gray!

I have heard about bleaching your hair and then dying it and I have thought of doing that but I have long dark hair to my mid back and feel like it would be expensive and time consuming but I also love the thought of not having that harsh grow out line that people always refer to as a skunk!

I don't know exactly the details, but one of my friends had a series of "highlights and lowlights" treatments to her originally-dark hair to change the rate when going from dyeing dark to an amount of gray she was happy with. (Recently, her hair is its natural gray, just a little dark mixed in, and is absolutely beautiful.)

This is less clearly applicable to your case, but maybe eventually: A co-worker who got quite gray quite young felt she was looking older than her age, then had some combination of lowlights and overdyeing with a medium-brown that didn't require pre-bleaching, and the result was natural-looking, flattering, and less likely to show distinct roots quickly because her natural color was still somewhat salt and pepper and that type of hair coloring fades gradually.

In both those cases, they felt that using a stylist who was very skilled/experienced at the techniques involved was very important.

I can't give you firsthand advice: Mine started going gray gradually in my 40s (from dark brown), so just ongoing salt and pepper with increasing amounts of salt . With my skin tone and such, I felt that the salt and pepper was actually more flattering than the dark brown natural color of my early adulthood. Nowdays, it's quite gray, only a little dark mixed in.

Yes, it's darker in back than in front, but sort of a smooth gradation so I'm OK with it (besides, I rarely see the back of my own head ). I'm more unsatisfied that it's thinner than it used to be, but oh, well. (I'm not going to do Rogaine.) It's fine and curly, so it could be worse. It's pandemic long now, but I prefer it short. I feel fortunate that the gray hairs are a white-gray (or maybe blue-gray?) rather than a yellowish gray.

I'd probably look younger with darker hair, but IMO young is overrated. I'd rather rep old but lively, if I can. FWIW, I don't feel like people treat me in any particular way because my hair is gray vs. brown. I know some women who say they feel invisible or dismissed in some way. However, I'm not very appearance conscious, and tend to have an assertive personality that I can make take up psychological space when I want to, so . . . !

ALJ0729

I made the decision to stop dyeing mine almost two years ago. I have dark brown hair naturally. Anytime I would dye it to cover the grey hair, the dyed part would turn reddish as it grew out. I ended up with 3 different hair colors (dark brown, reddish brown and grey/silver)! I finally decided I was done and was just going to let it do it's thing naturally. I will be 48 this summer and the grey/silver is getting more prominent. It is heaviest around my temples and ears but I have a definitive stripe on my left side that produces an overall ashy effect against the rest of the hair. I call the rest my "tinsel" as it begins to propagate more heavily all over my head! I'm just happy I don't have 3 different hair colors any longer!

There are many, many IG accounts of women my age and younger choosing to grow out their grey hair. It's a personal decision and shouldn't be influenced by anyone else (so much easier said than done, right?). Do what makes you feel the best. I think grey/silver/white hair can be beautiful! Take care of your changing hair like you normally would and you will probably come to love it. If you grow it out and hate it, you can always dye it again!