I am getting so discouraged!

franciner43

I also have done it all ww, noom, mayo clinic. I have previously lost 74lbs total. I feel like last year, I started spiraling. I started counting macros, focused on over 50 metabolic stuff, adjust my calories all the time, etc... I am driving myself crazy!! I am in tears writing this right now. What used to work for me no longer works. I am at my wits end and feel like giving up. I have to lose 22 lbs by end of April, I am trying to qualify for knee surgery and I am putting so much pressure on myself and making it worse. I am expecting my fist grandchild (after many losses on IVF), I have a trip to Europe in October and a Wedding in September I am hoping to dance my butt of at. I am 5' 8, I weigh 285lbs I am currently on 1542 Calories/141g Protein/123g Carb/54g Fat - I have not lost an ounce this month after gaining last month. I walk 5-7k steps a day. I am shooting for knee surgery in May so I have plenty of time to recover for events and grandbaby. Any suggestions, comments, concerns, support?.... Lost in Phoenix

88olds

I’d like to help you but not sure I can. I’m not a fan of time driven weigh loss and ordinarily speak against it. But you have a medical reason.

So lets start with the basics. Where did you get the 1542 calorie target? By your count, how often do you stay within your target? Do you use a food scale to crunch the numbers? Keep a food diary? How are you doing living with 1542 calories? Sorry if this sounds harsh, but regardless of how you crunch the numbers, it you aren’t losing… well, you know. Cut calories until you do. And BTW do you find macros to be a needless complication? Maybe you want to consider ditching it. It doesn’t seem to be adding anything.

But take heart. You can get this to work. Calorie counting really works. It has to work because of how our bodies are designed. Just like we are built to store extra calories as fat, we can draw the stores down by eating in a deficit. Our bodies are designed to survive hard times. Fortunately the hard times have not arrived for most of us.

Unfortunately calorie counting is not very exact in practice. First we have to figure out a target that gets us losses. We don’t really know how many calories we are using unless hooked up in a lab. So we are left with the calculators. But the calculators are based on statistics and averages. So we start with the number the calculators give us. But the only way to really know what number works for us is trial and error. A frustrating process.

Then there’s the actual calorie counting. Unless we make everything we eat at home and from scratch we are going to find a lot of gray areas. Again, the only real way to test our skill as calorie counters is trial and error. The frustration drives a lot of people to throw up their hands and walk away.

So #1- don’t quit. Weight loss is mostly about problem solving and persistence. Solve enough problem and we get to goal weight.

But your predicament has to boil down to one of two things, either your target number is not working for you, or your counting is off.

And this- I’ve lost 100+ lbs but I had to reinvent my plan several times to do it. I lost about 65 lbs slowly but it seemed pretty easy until I got stuck. I finally had to face the fact that what I learned getting form 285 lbs to 220 lbs wasn’t much help getting lower. So if you’re down from where you started, congrats on the loss. It’s a new day. Keep trying. Good luck.

88olds

And

MamaJammy

Don't stop trying things. What works for some does not work for others.
At first intermittent fasting worked...then it didn't, then a food scale worked, Then I got lazy. Over the years I have lost then gained and after just coasting on maintenance for a while, I recommitted and started losing weight again.
This time I am also going through peri menopause. Giving up most of the alcohol, aiming for high protein, eating only 2 nice full meals a day, logging those meals, and using a food scale is working. Keep going, something will click.

CrazyMermaid1

It’s really hard for me to lose x amount of weight by x time. Is it possible to move your surgery back? That would take some pressure off you.

Sinisterbarbie1

I lost 79 lbs in about 18 months. I am in my mid 50s and had gained a lot of weight as a result of chemo induced early menopause and then various post chemo problems that left me unable to walk for a while. I lost the weight simply by adjusting the medicines I was on (i was on a variety of medicines that had weight gain as a side effect and I either no longer needed them at all, or could switch to something else with the help of my doctor) and then carefully weighing, recording and counting calories consumed and any exercise calories expended. People on this site tend to discount the benefits of weight loss medicines for people whose doctors prescribe them, but I think that it is worth visiting a reputable doctor specializing in weight loss/obesity to discuss options to determine if the costs/benefits are worth it to try in certain situations. I was not a good candidate for most and insurance didn’t cover others. It is possible to lose the weight either way.

It sounds like you are switching things around a lot. why not jut find a workable plan and stick with it for a while. In my case, the simpler and less intrusive into my lifestyle the better. For me this means no special rules or forbidden foods, no secret formulas or ways I must eat for my body or blood type or phase of the moon etc. Just eat fewer calories than I am burning, and try to eat them from the most nutritious, whole and unprocessed foods possible. But the last part (whole and unprocessed) is my preference and not obligatory. I just find that I prefer the taste and that those foods keep me full longer.

Make sure you are weighing and accurately recording food in grams using a kitchen scale. It makes a big difference

Jthanmyfitnesspal

I hope you can rest in the knowledge that no one knows you as well as you do: you are the leading expert on yourself. Anyone giving advice would need to listen to you extensively to add anything that you don't already know.

But, everyone needs support for difficult life problems. So, my advice is to find professionals that can take the time to listen and then help you. (Doctor, Psychologists, nutritionist, PT, trainer). I know that budget is always a factor, so you have to be strategic. Remote care (Zoom) has lowered the cost of such services, which is a help. I observe that there are now medicines to help control apatite that are reportedly safe and effective, but maybe expensive. (I'm not an expert in them, but I just read a news article that was very positive about their effectiveness and safety, amazingly. It sounds like a huge change from prior medications, which were pretty terrible.)

Best of luck!

MattyVonB

I am by no means an expert, but it is important to look at what you HAVE accomplished. You are a champion and a warrior for even getting to where you are now. You've crushed it so far and will continue to do so. There is no straight path to the top of a mountain, it winds and bends and climbs up and down, but stay the course, believe in the powerhouse of amazing you are and you will for certain get to the top.

CatalinaBabineaux

Oh honey... First, CONGRATULATIONS on the new grandbaby!!!! Second, losing 74lbs is AMAZING! Third, Most people I speak with had a hard time in 2022 for whatever reason. I know I did. One thing at a time. Focus on the things you can control. One day, one minute, one second at a time. Trust your process and dont quit on yourself. Challenge yourself as much as you can without hurting yourself. Be nicer to you. Honey all that stress doesnt help us at all. Believe in yourself. Some days are harder than others. When they get difficult to get through, push through. When you dont feel like it, do it anyway! Thats when youll feel changes. Reward that hard work with self praise. Soon, youll start to see that your hard work is paying off. It always seems to happen overnight, out of the blue.

You can do it. You will do it. Just know that you arent alone. Do your best to stay focued on your fitness plan. If you fall off, remember why you started and get back on it. That, you CAN control. No overthinking, no stressing, just action.

YOUVE GOT THIS!