Enduring/Overcoming Consistent Obstacles

penguinmama87 · February 2023

I'll start out by saying maybe I just need to be told the same things I tell other people, but maybe it just needs to be said to me directly to stick and not just in my own self-talk.

As many of you know I had a baby last year (my sixth) and I am trying to lose the weight from that pregnancy and then a little more to get to my goal weight. I made a significant amount of progress before getting pregnant. My recovery was going incredibly well. Even though I gained more than I wanted to I was still at a lower weight than I had been in previous pregnancies, the birth went well, and I was healing and steadily dropping the pregnancy weight until about November.

Since then, like I think many people this winter, there has been almost constant illness in my household. We all had the flu, several of us including me had pneumonia, and various other respiratory illnesses. A couple bouts of stomach ailments. I do what I can to keep us healthy and limit spread, but I'm also realistic and once these things are in the house, we're probably just all going to get it. I can wash my hands all day but if my toddler sneezes in my face - well, whatcha gonna do.

My weight loss has slowed down significantly. It's still happening, but at a rate that is often masked by water weight fluctuations and I'm very frustrated (about 1 lb a month per my data.) Lack of sleep is probably my number one trigger for overeating. I have a lot of "systems" in place for handling a week or two of an alteration to regular routine, but we're going on several months now with barely a gasp in between. I can realistically accept that it can't last forever, but then I got sick again this week and am desperately wondering, "But what if it does?!"

I'm trying to figure out now, with intense brain fog, just what I actually have control over and what I don't, and try to focus on the former, but I'm just. so. flipping. tired. How do I stay strong during the hard seasons?

ninerbuff · February 2023

With that big a family, you can't do it all yourself. Is spouse involved? And as a kid, I started doing chores around the house at 6 years old. Don't let the kids be ones that don't assist. It helps to teach them responsibility as well as understanding their help is needed in the home. They will learn quickly not to make as many messes if they always have to take care of it themselves.
You NEED at least one hour to yourself a day for self improvement or to just get away from what you do at home. Spouse needs to be supportive of that.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

penguinmama87 · February 2023

ninerbuff wrote: »

With that big a family, you can't do it all yourself. Is spouse involved? And as a kid, I started doing chores around the house at 6 years old. Don't let the kids be ones that don't assist. It helps to teach them responsibility as well as understanding their help is needed in the home. They will learn quickly not to make as many messes if they always have to take care of it themselves.
You NEED at least one hour to yourself a day for self improvement or to just get away from what you do at home. Spouse needs to be supportive of that.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Yes, these are really good points! My husband has also had an exceptionally busy season at work which does not help - he is regularly gone 50-60 hours per week or more, so he's also feeling it. I stay at home.

My kids do help around the house which I am thankful for. I've been giving my oldest two cooking lessons and they make dinner a couple times per month and they all have regular daily chores. I do need to keep on them to make sure they're actually completed, but that's pretty normal for the ages that they are. I'm definitely glad I started on that early.

AnnPT77 · February 2023

Y'know, sometimes we just have to give ourselves some grace. You're under a tremendous set of challenges, yet you're still sticking close enough to calorie goal to be losing around a pound a month. I think that's a thing to celebrate, pat yourself on the back about, not feel down about. You're a champion, but you're in a mountainous stage of your race. Hang in there.

Sure, it would be nice to make faster progress toward goals . . . but please give yourself credit for making progress!

This will pass. You'll get to the plains on the other side of the mountains, and progress will pick up again. Getting through this is building some steel inside you, and you'll see that when the course gets easier, I predict.

We get hyper-local-focused during times like what you're going through; big picture is still out there even when we don't have time/energy/mindshare to notice.

As far as how to optimize progress now: Put as many of the basics as you can on autopilot, treat them as things you just do, not things you decide to do. If there are things you truly can't fit in, then prioritize the possible. (Personally, I'd go with sleep as #1 when something can be improved, if that is possible some days. Even 5 minutes of simple meditation if there's a spare moment has some renewing potential if sleep/naps are impossible. I'm not talking some complicated thing, just sitting still and watching the breathing happen. I do this waiting in lines, waiting at doctors' offices, you name it. That may not work for you - just a thought.)

Sending strength and well-wishes. Circumstances will improve, you'll get more room to maneuver . . . even if the challenges seem unending right now.

Rockmama1111 · February 2023

I’ve seen your comments on these boards over the past few months that I’ve been back, and you always have a positive, insightful, no-nonsense answer to tough questions. What would you tell someone else in your situation?

I only had three kids and I (vaguely) remember the overwhelm when life threw every curveball. And OMG THE TIRED! I salute you, Mama, for doubling that brood and still managing to lose a pound a month. That’s pretty impressive! Don’t forget that.

The idea that came to my mind is to re-energize your game plan in a way that helps both your weight loss efforts AND your family. Get excited again, recommit, make it a hobby… something you WANT to do. There’s a YouTube channel my daughter likes called Frugal Fit Mom. She has a larger family and shows meal prep ideas, etc. Maybe a new “system” to implement would give you that little bit of motivation you need?

cupcakesandproteinshakes · February 2023

I only have 1 child. It took me 8 years to lose post baby weight. So I think you are really doing well. A pound a month is still a good rate of loss when the rest of your life is so demanding. I think if you can make that mental switch to seeing any weight loss as a success then it would help.

middlehaitch · February 2023

@penguinmama87 Im sure you know about them, and have probably read the thread about them - diet breaks.

Reading your post you sound consistently run down, below par, however you want to say it. Nothing terribly wrong but every little germ takes a liking to you.

Give yourself a diet break, eat at maintenance for a month if you can, 2 weeks minimum. This will give your body (and mind) a chance to catch up, de stress, and boost your immunity (hopefully).

Just an alternate option for a hard working mum.

Cheers, h.

penguinmama87 · February 2023

Thank you all so very much for your kind words.

We had a brief warm spell and even though my head felt like it weighed a thousand pounds I went for a nice, long, slow meandering walk (with the kids, they are quite fond of meandering and I really can't blame them most of the time!) The fresh air was really good and it was a break from that stuffed-up feeling. I forgot how terrible February really is on my mood if I feel horribly cooped up at home. If I spend time outdoors, even if it's not for a run or "real workout," I'm much happier.

I do think I need to sort out the sleep thing first. That's not always in my control but I can do things about it - I can put away the screens after dinner and stick to good ole paper books, and make sure I'm in bed at a reasonable time even if a kid wakes up in the middle of the night (and it might *feel* like it's always but it really isn't.) I think the sleep issue will resolve the illness issue too, especially as it gets warmer.

Food is better than I thought, that's true. It's not out of control, I'm just not sticking to my planned deficit as closely as I had intended. Overall, though, the trend is down and that is something to be happy about.

I've always been a big planner, organizer, goal-setter type of person. I think having a lot of kids has been good for me because it's helped curb maybe some of the less desirable aspects of that type of personality.

I don't like, at all, running into limits, even if I helped make them myself! But all things considered the situation is OK. Baby won't be small forever, which is both good and very sad. Cold and flu season will wind down. In this part of the world there's a little more sun everyday!

Thanks again.

COGypsy · February 2023

It sounds like it’s one of those rough times where the only way out is through. Is there any way you could get away for a little break? Even a weekend would probably do a world of good. I have a friend that has a daughter and when she was little my friend was able to get away for a long weekend once in a while and she said it made a world of difference when she came back. Maybe something like that would help get through this stage of life?

kshama2001 · February 2023

penguinmama87 wrote: »

Thank you all so very much for your kind words.

We had a brief warm spell and even though my head felt like it weighed a thousand pounds I went for a nice, long, slow meandering walk (with the kids, they are quite fond of meandering and I really can't blame them most of the time!) The fresh air was really good and it was a break from that stuffed-up feeling. I forgot how terrible February really is on my mood if I feel horribly cooped up at home. If I spend time outdoors, even if it's not for a run or "real workout," I'm much happier.

I do think I need to sort out the sleep thing first. That's not always in my control but I can do things about it - I can put away the screens after dinner and stick to good ole paper books, and make sure I'm in bed at a reasonable time even if a kid wakes up in the middle of the night (and it might *feel* like it's always but it really isn't.) I think the sleep issue will resolve the illness issue too, especially as it gets warmer.

Food is better than I thought, that's true. It's not out of control, I'm just not sticking to my planned deficit as closely as I had intended. Overall, though, the trend is down and that is something to be happy about.

I've always been a big planner, organizer, goal-setter type of person. I think having a lot of kids has been good for me because it's helped curb maybe some of the less desirable aspects of that type of personality. I don't like, at all, running into limits, even if I helped make them myself! But all things considered the situation is OK. Baby won't be small forever, which is both good and very sad. Cold and flu season will wind down. In this part of the world there's a little more sun everyday!

Thanks again.

Yay for walking in February! It was drizzling this AM, and scheduled to rain all day, but despite not being motivated to walk I knew it would be important for my mental health, so walked two miles anyway.

(Cold is not an issue for me, but rain generally is, so I was proud of myself for getting out there in the drizzle with rain rain predicted.)

What are the ages of your children?

penguinmama87 · February 2023

kshama2001 wrote: »

penguinmama87 wrote: »

Thank you all so very much for your kind words.

We had a brief warm spell and even though my head felt like it weighed a thousand pounds I went for a nice, long, slow meandering walk (with the kids, they are quite fond of meandering and I really can't blame them most of the time!) The fresh air was really good and it was a break from that stuffed-up feeling. I forgot how terrible February really is on my mood if I feel horribly cooped up at home. If I spend time outdoors, even if it's not for a run or "real workout," I'm much happier.

I do think I need to sort out the sleep thing first. That's not always in my control but I can do things about it - I can put away the screens after dinner and stick to good ole paper books, and make sure I'm in bed at a reasonable time even if a kid wakes up in the middle of the night (and it might *feel* like it's always but it really isn't.) I think the sleep issue will resolve the illness issue too, especially as it gets warmer.

Food is better than I thought, that's true. It's not out of control, I'm just not sticking to my planned deficit as closely as I had intended. Overall, though, the trend is down and that is something to be happy about.

I've always been a big planner, organizer, goal-setter type of person. I think having a lot of kids has been good for me because it's helped curb maybe some of the less desirable aspects of that type of personality. I don't like, at all, running into limits, even if I helped make them myself! But all things considered the situation is OK. Baby won't be small forever, which is both good and very sad. Cold and flu season will wind down. In this part of the world there's a little more sun everyday!

Thanks again.

Yay for walking in February! It was drizzling this AM, and scheduled to rain all day, but despite not being motivated to walk I knew it would be important for my mental health, so walked two miles anyway.

(Cold is not an issue for me, but rain generally is, so I was proud of myself for getting out there in the drizzle with rain rain predicted.)

What are the ages of your children?

I'm the same way - cold really isn't an issue, but I really dislike rain. (Snow is actually fine as long as it isn't heavy and thwapping me in the face, or accumulating too fast and making everything slippery.)

My kids are almost 12, almost 10, 7, 5, 2.5, and 7 months. I have recently passed another hurdle because my oldest is capable of watching all the kids except the baby for short periods of time, which is huge. IME the hardest part about having a large family is less the number of children and more simultaneously juggling the very different needs based on age. I think having three children under 5 was harder than what I'm doing now (even though I'm basically doing that now again, my older three are reasonably reliable at doing some of the basic around the house stuff or even assisting with baby and toddler tasks. Many hands do make light work.)

Over the weekend I went ice skating with my oldest. I try to make one-on-one time with each of them because that's another thing that can be lacking in a large family. We had a great time but my thighs are still burning!

avatiach · February 2023

Great advice in this thread! Spring is coming and that generally means fewer sick family members and more sun. I very much agree with trying to prioritize one or two things and sleep is a good one! Getting outside every day could be a good second. (I also find that helps me sleep!) And you are making progress so try to feel good about what you have done so far.

Enduring/Overcoming Consistent Obstacles

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