Have a problem with food and need some help

thanatos

Hi everyone,

I'm new to these forums but not new to MFP. I'm hoping that others have/had experience with my situation and can offer some advise. A little background:

Right now, I'm 25 / m and 6'1 and 218lbs. I've had weight issues since college - weight issues meaning going up and down constantly. I've never had a problem losing weight. When I've had enough, I am a well-oiled machine. Eating all the right foods, pushing myself in workouts keeping track of what I eat and what exercise I do, etc.

My problem is that I can't maintain. More specifically, I suffer lapses and I end up eating outrageous foods. I'm not talking about I'll have a cheeseburger one day. I mean I'll have eggs, bacon and toast for breakfast, greasy Chinese food for lunch and pizza for dinner. That kind of outrageous.

About 18 months ago I weighed the most I've ever weighed - nearly 260 lbs. From January to August, I was on a roll. I won't like and say I didn't have a cheat meal here or there (I certainly did after about 2 months) but it was all controlled. I never let a bad food derail me. I went down to 204 lbs and I even completed P90x. I went on vacation in August and I told myself its vacation, eat what I want and when I get back, I'll get back to it. Works fine for most people, I presume.

Long-story short, I kept extending my vacation - from a eating perspective, not a work perspective, sadly. I worked out off and on since then, with my weight creeping up then down then up then down. This past weekend I ate endless crap again and I realized that I need to figure out why this is happening to me.

When I start eating healthy foods, I enjoy it. I love the feeling of buying the right things at the grocery store, eating lean working out regularly. It really does make me feel awesome. And the feeling I get after eating crap is the exact opposite. Feel bloated. Feel lazy. Feel fat.

I just don't know why after a while, I keep falling in this routine of eating bad. Its an off-on switch. Either I'm doing all the right things or I am going out of my way to eat unhealthy. For example - if I go to a restaurant, I'll either order a lean protein and salad or I'll order a burger with french fries. I've NEVER ordered a burger WITH salad instead of fries. I need to learn that middle road.

If anyone has tips or has gone through similar experiences, I'd really appreciate the words.

- Thanatos

smuehlbauer

You have to want this.
You have to want to lose the weight.
Knowing that you should, and wanting to are two totally different things.
When you WANT TO you will find the will power to not eat for crap.
When you WANT TO you won't go on vacation and think that gives you the green like to eat crap and not exercise.
When you WANT TO you will know that it's a life style change - not a diet.
It's a choice. Just depends on if you want it.
Just my opinion.
Steph:flowerforyou:

dogdaze

Sounds like you have really answered your own question - you do need to learn the middle road. Are you an emotional eater? Some folks fall off the wagon and have a junk food meal and then feel such self disgust that they top it off with a brownie binge and a quart of ice cream. Finding out what is triggering your responses may be the first step to controlling them.

Personally I have had good success with Paul McKenna's book and CD when my motivation has been a bit dodgy - I particularly like his simple principles which do eliminate guilt about eating and create insight into how to tackle problems. It has worked for me but joining a local group or just posting here may work as well or better for other people . Good luck! Realizing there is a problem is the first step to getting round it.

solvig

I understand where you are coming from. I'm going through the same problem myself. I generally like to eat healthy, however, I get lazy and just want to go out to eat or do a quick and dirty "heat and eat" dinner. In starting the new lifestyle changes that are needed for me, I'm not saying "no" to all that so called junk food, but I'm staying true to my calories per day. I'm being honest in what I record and if it doesn't fit into my 1400 calories per day I don't get to have it. I've had pizza, burritos, chinese food, hamburgers, etc. I've discovered the new concept to me of portion control and making smart calorie choices. I can have that hamburger if I plan it out in my day. I don't even feel the need for a bun and will let myself have some fries too. It's all the choices you make. You can choose to have all of those things that are quick and easy and to stay on the downward spiral you are on, or you can choose to stay true to yourself and the promises you've made.

It all comes down to you and what you want in the end. If you choose to have a big breakfast, then greasy fast food for lunch and pizza for dinner then you need to live with the consequences of those choices. A great challenge I had this weekend was going out to breakfast with my husband and our friends. Normally I would order eggs, hash browns, sausage and toast or something just as huge and eat the whole thing. This time I ordered a veggie scramble, fruit instead of the hash browns and no toast. I only ate half of the egg scramble and was completely satisfied and still had a great time with our friends. It's discovering a new relationship with your food and for me it's just the beginning.

Good luck and I hope you find a balance that works for you.

consciousfitness

It seems that everything is either all black or all white with your behavior. You have not been able to find that balance in your life or your lifestyle. Being healthy, eating healthy, living healthy is a balance. A balance that starts in your mind. Cheating is a word that should not exsist ..we are entitiled to eat something delious now and again. First begin by giving yourself permission not to be perfect. Then find out for yourself what you really need to be happy and feel good, by your standards not anyone else's. Third set yourself realistic short-term goals that you can live with. Short term goals are easier to reach and maintain. And most of all....give into your cravings and be done with it....when you deprive yourself of things you enjoy long enough ..when you do give in to them it is much worse.A Healthy lifestyle is yours to define. Making a committment to losing weight is more about where your mind is then where your weight is. Find your center and work from there.
Raina

SparkleShine

Your st reminds me of myself. I'm really really good or really bad. I have yo-yo'd 3 times since being in my 30's. I am turning 40 in September and I've made a commitment to myself to not let a bad meal or weekend end it all for me. I am striving for balance!

Good luck to you! You can do this!

thanatos

Thanks for all the words so far everyone. Compounding my issue with eating is the fact that I over eat when I'm eating "whatever I want." I won't have a couple slices of pizza - I'll eat the entire thing.

I don't think my eating is related to any emotional issue. I do want to eat some bad food when I'm depressed but that's not really the issue. The times where I over-eat are 99.9% when everything is fine and dandy.

I thought I had it all figured out a year ago when I lost a tremendous amount of weight and was able to occasionally eat a bad meal here or there and stayed the course. I guess I still have a battle I need to win...

neenaleigh

WOW!!!! that's so me! i have been on a "vacation" for months! i havent really gained much back, i fluctuate between 5-7lbs so i havent been beating myself up, but i completly understand what you are talking about. I eat like a Teenage boy on the weekends and lately those weekends have over lapped into mondays and tuesdays recently....even now i still may go over today...i forced myself on a workout cause i know it makes me feel better but FOOD is my DRUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all i can say is keep coming back to this website! non of us could have done this alone and i think just continuing to have people to talk to and vent our frustrations will keep us from going back to where we dont want to be! GOOD LUCK TO YOU! i know ust reading what you wrote made me see myself a little clearer! I may not have helped you, but someone else here will! So THANK YOU for your post!!!!

thanatos

WOW!!!! that's so me! i have been on a "vacation" for months! i havent really gained much back, i fluctuate between 5-7lbs so i havent been beating myself up, but i completly understand what you are talking about. I eat like a Teenage boy on the weekends and lately those weekends have over lapped into mondays and tuesdays recently....even now i still may go over today...i forced myself on a workout cause i know it makes me feel better but FOOD is my DRUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all i can say is keep coming back to this website! non of us could have done this alone and i think just continuing to have people to talk to and vent our frustrations will keep us from going back to where we dont want to be! GOOD LUCK TO YOU! i know ust reading what you wrote made me see myself a little clearer! I may not have helped you, but someone else here will! So THANK YOU for your post!!!!

Its always great to hear people who share similar experiences! That's what great about the fourms - quite frankly, its what got me through P90x. I hope I will have a similar experience in this thread!

Rynatat

We're all human & part of that human diversity that makes us all unique in our own little ways is our little "quirks", and I'm not immune, either! There are times that I'll just eat junk all day, but the one thing that reigns me is that I have Celiac's Disease so I can't just eat whatever: if I want pizza or burgers, I have to go out to the grocery store, buy them cook them & they are freakin' expensive! But the other thing that I found helps a lot, even if I do eat junk, is I'm in an exercise routine. I wake up early every "work" morning & workout for at least 45 mins. On "non-work" days, if we have to be somewhere or are doing something, I still wake up that hour earlier than I need to in order to work out: it's a pain in the butt, but once I start working out I feel great & am so glad that I pushed myself. I have a couple of my DVD's saved on our laptop, so if we do go away, I can still workout: I saved a Tai-Chi & a Tai-Chi/Kickboxing mix so I don't have to schlep weights and stuff.
It is really hard, but remember, this is a lifestyle change: I like fries too sometimes, but I make a point to always have a salad or veggies with each meal (if I have a gluten free pizza I'll make a salad to go with it). If you want some pointers, I'll be happy to share. I'm not perfect by any means & this is a daily battle that won't ever go away, but with the right friends (MFP & local friends) and support, you can do this. You did this before & you can do it again... and this time for good!
I'm here for you if you would like to add me as a MFP Support Friend :flowerforyou:

4lafz

In order to maintain you are going to have to come up with a food diary that works for you. Perhaps - once you get there - you allow yourself a big breakfast but only on Saturdays. A different day it may be pizza or chinese food. The rest of those days you need to exercise like a maniac AND eat well. That's how we are going to have to live our lives if we are going to maintain. I am not cutting out the things I love - just learning moderation - and working it off!

PJRiner

Consider having a Sleep Study done at a Sleep Center with a Doctor on staff.I suffered for years as you do with irratic food consumption (but I am now 54 and overweight). I recently had one done and discovered by the grace of God that I suffer from severe Obstructive Sleep Apnea which guess what?...causes weight gain, lethargy, depression (which ultimately can lead to a destructive eating pattern) and worse but one hasn't any idea because we think that we are sleeping but we are not! If the body never rests it never recovers. You know it wouldn't hurt to find out. Hope this helps and certainly research everything because this is a personal decision.

lutzsher

Im exactly the same personality type, I've yo-yo'ed from my ideal weight into obesity 3 times since I had my first child at 20 years old (so for the last 21 years) . . . and why do I keep ending up heavy (???) . . . because with me it is ALL OR NOTHING also. If I can't do it perfectly then I just throw up my hands and give up.
I had an epiphany after I turned 40 . . . I realized that I was giving up on ME each time. I finally had the "lightbulb" moment and realized that Im worth the hard work, Im worth the sacrifices, Im worth not giving up on.
So I have a bad day sometimes . . . we are all human and I would fogive anyone one else for having a bad day, so why the heck have I always been so hard on myself, expecting nothing but perfection?????
This year I have been dedicated to my goal and have been more forgiving of myself and allow myself to slip up sometimes (my slip-ups usually involve beer, not food).
In allowing myself to make mistakes I find that I make fewer of them . . . and I like being a bit nicer to ME for a change!

clover7

You have to have discipline. Without it, you will continue to do what you are doing or just overall quit. You have to find something deep inside of you as motivation that will not let you order fries or shoot out for fast food. For example, my girlfriend broke up with me and I had nothing better to do than to go on a diet. In 3 months i went from 16% body fat to 8.5%. This is my motivation knowing she will never have this body again. There has got to be something in your life than you can relate to to give you the motivation you need. Without it, you will fail. My advice is to sit down and think about it real hard and ask yourself if its the right thing for you. I know if i knew that I was going to blow my hard work 3 months in, then I would not even attempt to diet. If you do happen to decide to try to diet again, when that time comes around when you are thinking about unhealthy foods or not going run that day/week, think about how it ruined your diet several months ago. This can be your motivation. Do not let yourself slide for a "treat" day without any discipline, because in the end you will not stop and that treat day will turn into a treat week, ruining nearly 2 - 3 weeks of hard work. When you feel as if you have enough discipline to have a "treat day," (from what I read, not anytime soon) then go ahead and have yourself an awesome day. Otherwise stay away from it. Hope this helps. This is what i do and it works.

thanatos

You have to have discipline. Without it, you will continue to do what you are doing or just overall quit. You have to find something deep inside of you as motivation that will not let you order fries or shoot out for fast food. For example, my girlfriend broke up with me and I had nothing better to do than to go on a diet. In 3 months i went from 16% body fat to 8.5%. This is my motivation knowing she will never have this body again. There has got to be something in your life than you can relate to to give you the motivation you need. Without it, you will fail. My advice is to sit down and think about it real hard and ask yourself if its the right thing for you. I know if i knew that I was going to blow my hard work 3 months in, then I would not even attempt to diet. If you do happen to decide to try to diet again, when that time comes around when you are thinking about unhealthy foods or not going run that day/week, think about how it ruined your diet several months ago. This can be your motivation. Do not let yourself slide for a "treat" day without any discipline, because in the end you will not stop and that treat day will turn into a treat week, ruining nearly 2 - 3 weeks of hard work. When you feel as if you have enough discipline to have a "treat day," (from what I read, not anytime soon) then go ahead and have yourself an awesome day. Otherwise stay away from it. Hope this helps. This is what i do and it works.

Motivation is a huge thing. I'm always motivated to start an am happy when I do (just like this morning). Going cold-turkey is fairly easy too. Its always though some event that is innocent that snowballs.

I think its mentally I'm too hard on myself. I'll have the burger and think grea, I ruined the day, might as well eat some pizza too. My goal is to always make some healthy choices - even if I'm not being 100% healthy.

I'll have my first big test this weekend. Two of my best friends from college are coming up for 4 nights. I will be eating extremely healthy and exercising before they come everyday and while I know my diet won't be perfect when they are here, my goal is to make healthy choices and keep damage to a minimum. Its actually the perfect example of what always derails me - I get carried away and I lose focus.

clover7

You have to have discipline. Without it, you will continue to do what you are doing or just overall quit. You have to find something deep inside of you as motivation that will not let you order fries or shoot out for fast food. For example, my girlfriend broke up with me and I had nothing better to do than to go on a diet. In 3 months i went from 16% body fat to 8.5%. This is my motivation knowing she will never have this body again. There has got to be something in your life than you can relate to to give you the motivation you need. Without it, you will fail. My advice is to sit down and think about it real hard and ask yourself if its the right thing for you. I know if i knew that I was going to blow my hard work 3 months in, then I would not even attempt to diet. If you do happen to decide to try to diet again, when that time comes around when you are thinking about unhealthy foods or not going run that day/week, think about how it ruined your diet several months ago. This can be your motivation. Do not let yourself slide for a "treat" day without any discipline, because in the end you will not stop and that treat day will turn into a treat week, ruining nearly 2 - 3 weeks of hard work. When you feel as if you have enough discipline to have a "treat day," (from what I read, not anytime soon) then go ahead and have yourself an awesome day. Otherwise stay away from it. Hope this helps. This is what i do and it works.

Motivation is a huge thing. I'm always motivated to start an am happy when I do (just like this morning). Going cold-turkey is fairly easy too. Its always though some event that is innocent that snowballs.

I think its mentally I'm too hard on myself. I'll have the burger and think grea, I ruined the day, might as well eat some pizza too. My goal is to always make some healthy choices - even if I'm not being 100% healthy.

Yes, I understand, nobody is perfect and it takes 150% to be flawless through your diet. A few weeks ago I went out and drank a 900 calorie daiquiri, and yes it is very depressing. You cannot let that snowball on you. When I got home it was 2am and I went run 3 miles burning half of what I just consumed. The next day after workout, i ran an extra 3 miles to finish off the remaining calories I drank. To get the point, if you do make a mistake, you have to makeup for it. Start getting the mindset that if you do have a bad meal, you have to take action for it, which is making up for the extra calories you took in. When you think about this, nowhere in your mind should you even think about eating more unhealthy foods for that day because you will be focused on the extra training you have to do to burn off the excess you took in.

antiadipose

this was sooooooooo me a couple of years back! and u DID answer ur own question.
id be like noooo i cant eat that... ill just have my apple =( an hour later .. im STARVING... i grab anything and EVERYTHING that comes my way!!!!!!

i lost 25 lbs by finding "the middle road"

basically if u just go a couple of weeks with consistent consistent consistent CLEAN eating and exercise.. i strongly believe ull be good. go for a long time with no cheating .. not ONE! ull become so clean that eating that pizza will literally make u SICK!

i used to either order a salad or a burger and fries and finish off with a brownie and ice cream! lol
ive lost enough weight and my fitness level and metabolism is exactly where i want it, now i CAN eat those things as a cheat meal and im not gonna get like FAT lol B-U-T i swear i dont even crave it.... ill have a bit or 2 but it literally makes me sick.
consistency is key. and setting a goal also helps a LOT.

like id like to run a 10k in october, so im working towards that.
why dont u do p90x again?

from ur post, i feel confident that ur GONNA do it! ur talking urself into it and beating urself about the past, which means ur already on ur way =]

BEST OF LUCK!

antiadipose

P.S. because i love food sooooooooo soooo much... im not the type to ever deprive myself from ANYTHING... but i became a great cook by experimenting and swapping ingredients to get the same taste of things i love that are big no-no's.

make pita pizzas w/ low fat cheese, low sodium salsa, or just tomatoes, veggies, chicken. ur not gonna be missing out on anyyything!

sry i rant! lol

thanatos

this was sooooooooo me a couple of years back! and u DID answer ur own question.
id be like noooo i cant eat that... ill just have my apple =( an hour later .. im STARVING... i grab anything and EVERYTHING that comes my way!!!!!!

i lost 25 lbs by finding "the middle road"

basically if u just go a couple of weeks with consistent consistent consistent CLEAN eating and exercise.. i strongly believe ull be good. go for a long time with no cheating .. not ONE! ull become so clean that eating that pizza will literally make u SICK!

i used to either order a salad or a burger and fries and finish off with a brownie and ice cream! lol
ive lost enough weight and my fitness level and metabolism is exactly where i want it, now i CAN eat those things as a cheat meal and im not gonna get like FAT lol B-U-T i swear i dont even crave it.... ill have a bit or 2 but it literally makes me sick.
consistency is key. and setting a goal also helps a LOT.

like id like to run a 10k in october, so im working towards that.
why dont u do p90x again?

from ur post, i feel confident that ur GONNA do it! ur talking urself into it and beating urself about the past, which means ur already on ur way =]

BEST OF LUCK!

Thanks for the encouraging words! I remember a couple years ago my personal trainer said that he used to love junk food and that after cutting it all off for a while, he started to get sick of it. I hear this from a lot of people.

When I started my weight loss last January, I went for 2 months without eating a bad meal. But yet I still came back to it. I was doing well - I was able to have a bad meal and continue on. I really thought I had conquered it. Maybe deep down I was refusing to belive I had a food problem. I certainly am not afraid to admit that I do now. I think admiting it to myself and then admiting to others are steps I needed to take.