This really happened... and a PS by Nia Shanks

stephv38

So I am at the playground the other day with my kids. Another mom asks me, "Are they all yours?" "Yes. All four are mine", I reply. Her next question as she looks at my stomach...."And is that a baby belly?" (as in are you pregnant?). "No", I smile trying to be gracious, "That is the remains of baby bellys and what I am trying to get rid of!". "Oh good" she says, "because 4 is certainly enough". Yep. Sure is. (for me-right now). Buuttt..... wait, what just happened here? First of all, and I say this to let you know why this was a pretty big blow for me- not to toot my own horn.... I am a size 4. I have 23% body fat. I workout a fair amount and struggle daily with food. And I always feel fat because of this tummy pooch! You see, I have diastasis rectus, which is a splitting apart of the ligaments that hold the the panels of the ab muscles together in front. Late in the day when I am tired, when I have eaten certain foods and when I weigh anything more than 114 pounds (and look sick everywhere else)... I certainly have a pretty noticeable round pooch.
Ok, so obviously this person kind of showed herself to be a person with limited ability to censor her thoughts before speaking. But she got me thinking about my continual cyclical eating. Dieting down with very low calorie days. Wearing myself out. Binge eating. I often gain and lose the same 8ish pounds each month. It has to stop and I think it has to stop in my mind before anywhere else. I will continue to work on this and just found an amazing article by Nia Shanks that speaks loudly to it. And she has links to many other great pieces she and others have written. I recommend getting lost in that rabbit hole of reading!
And PS- for other moms with this condition, because I have seen many posts about it and have posted myself about it before as well... I do believe that diet and certain exercises have helped considerably. It takes time and unfortunately is not completely fixable apart from surgery but improvements can be made! I have some before pics on my site...
Here is that Nia Shanks link....
http://www.niashanks.com/2011/10/my-battle-with-disordered-eating/

indiebreadkid

I think you look absolutely fabulous.
It's not just the fact that she asked you that but what if you were pregnant with another child, who is it of
her to say that 4 is 'enough' children? I hate how people do not think before they say something, people
do not take others into consideration

Also my mother has a problem very similar to you. She has Crohn's & inflammable bowl disease.
Her body is in pretty good shape but she has a fairly large stomach (some from over-eating)
but at least 1/2 of it is due to the swelling of her intestines from thee diseases.

stephv38

Thanks! And it is hard when there are physical complications to body shape! Hope your mom gets support for her situation!

dietcokeg

can't believe the nerve of some people, and what the hell last time i checked you're allowed to have as many children as you damn well please so long as you can take care of them! this type of carry on makes me angry and i'm not even a mom. I have 5 siblings and I think its great! kids are a blessing! also you look fantastic don't mind that lady she probably has issues of her own so she just picked on you!

CanGirl40

You are echoing my thoughts exactly - I work hard to keep a lean frame - probably about 20% body fat, thin arms and legs, but man even after two pregnancies, my belly always has a paunch. And I think being leaner emphasizes it, kwim? Since I'm lean everywhere else! Add to that I'm over 40, the bloat after eating Anything...ugh. Surgery not an option here, so have to live with it. Just pisses me off that I seem to work so hard and not be able to achieve what I want. I totally look 5 months pregnant in some outfits!!! P.S. I love Nia!